Til Death
by Tracy2
Summary: Steve and Rae are investigating a double murder on the docks, but an old enemy is about to reappear with devastating consequences for all. **STORY COMPLETE** Thank you for the great reviews.
1. Chapter 1 Familiar Faces, Cold Cases

'Til Death

**By**

**Tracy Wood**

Disclaimer: This is a work of fan-fiction, written, and hopefully read, strictly for enjoyment. The main characters of Mark, Steve, Amanda, and Jesse, as well as Alex, Cheryl, CJ, Dion, Captain Newman and Chief Masters are from the series Diagnosis Murder, and as such are the property of CBS/Viacom. All other characters, especially Detective Reagan Yeager, her family, Jo/Texas Walters, Martin Robertson, Officer Campbell and Doctor Wil Collins are mine.

I owe a lot to my two wonderful beta readers, we had a lot of fun working our way through this, and I hope it shows. I couldn't have done it without you guys. Thank you so much.

This story follows on from Animal Passions. Some time has passed since Jo went back to Texas, and both Steve and Rae are now back at work. Rae is a permanent member of the LAPD, and looking forward to her future with Jesse and all her friends.

Familiar Faces, Cold Cases 

Steve lay in bed and looked up at the ceiling. He had been lying there almost all night, trying to get his thoughts around the fact that he was alone, again. Jo had been gone for just over four weeks, although it felt more like four years. He had received one e-mail and two letters and the latest one was sitting on his nightstand waiting to be read. He didn't know why he was afraid of opening it, but it had been there for, he checked his watch, twenty-two hours now.

He got up and padded towards the shower. He turned the water on to warm and then once he had washed he turned it to cold and let the jets pummel him into submission. Then he got out and grabbed the nearest towel. His hair dripped water down his face and he was reminded of the dunking booth he had sat in just after Jo and he had started going out. For a moment, he smiled as he recalled that she was the only one of his friends who had successfully dunked him with all three of her throws. Then, the pain of being without her rushed back, and he shook the water and the memory away at the same time. He missed her so much that he could hardly concentrate on anything else. Taking a deep breath he grabbed the jeans and shirt that were on top of his everlasting ironing pile and began to dress.

Mark was making breakfast when Steve walked up the stairs to join him. "Hi, Son, have you got time for anything?"

"Coffee, and a slice of toast. I can grab something else later. I have to go and sort out this undercover operation on the docks. You know I have a feeling that we may have missed the boat on this one." He smiled as he realised what he had said. "With everything that has happened over the last few months it got sort of pushed to one side."

"Well, you are on it now, you can only do your best, it's not dead in the water yet!"

"Dad!"

Mark smiled at his son as he watched him down his coffee in a few gulps, fold his toast in half and begin to eat it as he headed for the door. 

"See you later, Dad." Steve headed towards his truck, his mind already on the day ahead. As he sat in the driver's seat he felt Jo's envelope bend slightly in his pocket. He sighed. Maybe he would open it when he got to the station. 

Rae stood in her kitchen watching Kira as she ate her food. She still had the list up on the refrigerator, and so she ticked it off. She hadn't forgotten to care for her cat since that awful day when Texas had found her upset and confused about what she had done wrong, but she was scared to get rid of it in case she did forget again. Rae checked her watch and saw that it was half past seven. She was due in at eight, so she stroked her pet, grabbed her car keys and headed for the door.

She got into Tom and joined the morning traffic. She had been furious when she discovered a scratch on the paint, but Steve admitted that it was his fault, that in a fit of temper he had kicked a soda can that hit the car and scratched the trunk when he and Martin were searching for clues to help catch Jo's kidnappers. He'd meant to tell her, but he'd found Jo on the edge of death in the parking lot at Community General, then he, his dad, Ron, and Amanda got sick from the pathogen Joseph Donovan had injected into Jo, and he'd forgotten all about the soda can. The day she came in grumbling about what she would do if she 'ever got her hands on the idiot that scratched my car' she had seen Martin give Steve an accusing look, and, grinning in embarrassment, Steve had confessed the incident and offered immediately to pay to have poor Tom repainted once again. 

As she made her way into the office, her head was full of ideas for the undercover operation they were going to start to plan today. She also had an appointment with the widow of the first victim of the warehouse gunman, for lunchtime. She had been trying to meet with her for the whole time she had been back at work, but it appeared that Matthew Franks' widow had been having a real hard time coming to terms with her husband's death, and had been staying with her sister almost every other week, just to get away from the house.

Rae felt guilty about the way that they had handled this case. It had got lost in all that had happened, and that shouldn't be. She pulled into her parking space, locked Tom and wandered into the building. Bob was just finishing his shift as Rae entered. She looked at him, smiled and carried on up the stairs. She was still on autopilot as she headed for the kettle and made herself a cup of herbal tea.

"Hey, partner, how are you this morning?" Steve's voice broke her trance and she turned and smiled.

Rae considered for a moment. "Well, I'm awake, and I'm here. Apart from that I have no idea. You?"

"I'm ok, apart from this." Steve held up the letter from Jo. He had told her about it yesterday morning, and she'd sulked because she didn't have one. The sulk had lasted about thirty seconds before she had wanted to know what the letter said. Steve smiled at the memory. Some of the childishness still remained.

Rae looked at his hand. "Oh, don't tell me you still haven't opened it." She softened the tone of her voice. "What's the matter, Steve, do you think it's a Dear John letter?"

"Oh, God, I hadn't even thought of that! Thanks a lot! No, I think that it's just that I don't want her to tell me that she still isn't coming home."

"Steve, she is home, Texas is her home, LA is just a place she was living. I know she was here for quite a long time, but it still isn't home for her." Rae felt awful but she knew that what she was saying was true. She moved over to her partner's desk and put her hand over his. "I had a letter waiting when I got home last night. It's alright." She moved away then and left him to himself.

Steve opened the letter and sat down at his desk. Slowly he began to read it, and a small contented smile spread across his face.

_My darling Steve,_

_I am sorry that I haven't written for a week, but the time has just flown by. I can't believe how much I have enjoyed being back home with David, sleeping in my old room, eating meals I remember from when I was a child, and being able to go out and ride for hours and see no one._

_I miss you so much, and I talk to your photo all the time, telling 'you' what I have been doing, and how I am feeling. Which is much better, by the way. I feel much more relaxed and happy with being me, and I know that a big part of that is because of how I feel about you and how you feel about me. I guess that sounds crazy, but you know what I mean._

_I have been on to Michael and told him to keep the house just as it is for the time being. I have decided that I will come back to LA, I just don't know when. But don't worry, I won't turn up unannounced, I like to be met at the airport, so you will have plenty of warning. I always feel so sorry for those poor souls who arrive somewhere and nobody cares. That won't happen to me._

_I have told Rae about the house, and plenty of other girlie things that you really don't want to know about. But if you are curious, I'm sure she will tell you._

_David and I have talked all about you and he says hi. And now I will say bye!_

_Take care, my darling,_

_Remember that I love you._

_Jo_

_x~x~x_

Steve read the letter through again, and as he went to put it back in the envelope he noticed something else was in there. He pulled out a photo of Jo, smiling at him from the veranda of her house. She looked beautiful; her hair was cascading down in curls and seemed even longer than he remembered it. She had dark blue jeans on and a white floaty top. Steve thought she looked more wonderful than ever, and as he looked at her he missed her even more than usual. There was still something in the envelope and he slid it out. It was a small dark green packet. On the front written in silver were the words 'Keep this close to your heart' He opened the flap and saw that inside was a dark brown curl of her hair. He slid it into the pocket on his shirt and then opened his wallet and put the photo inside.

Rae smiled over at him. "Still glad you waited to open it?"  Steve smiled back at her and moved across to her desk. She had been looking at the photo of her children that lived by her phone, but as Steve came and stood next to her she put it back down.  "I guess we had better get to work then, huh? Did you have any more thoughts on this undercover operation, or are we just going to begin talking and see what happens?" She had a pad in front of her and was ready to get started.

Steve nodded. "Sounds good to me. I don't want Martin to get left high and dry, this will be his first undercover operation and he will need back up, most, if not all, of the time." Steve looked over to where the young detective was sitting writing up a report. They would share their plans with him when they had some idea themselves.

Slowly they began to work out how they would organise the back up. It had already been arranged that Martin would sign on with one of the temp agencies that provided the first two warehousemen. Then hopefully he wouldn't have to wait too long to get put on the dock. From what they had discovered so far the agency had nothing to do with the killings, in fact they'd had trouble even getting them to admit to handling the vacancies.

The difficulty was the way to get them all in. Although parts of the docks were busy day and night, this wasn't one of them. In the end they decided that Steve would have to sign on as well, and if Martin got a job first, wander around the area as if he was desperate for work. But he couldn't shadow Martin all the time, so Rae needed an excuse to go in there too. The only problem was that she was now a very well known cop. The accent didn't help either.

Gradually a plan came together, and Rae began to type it up on the computer. She wanted to have something to show the Captain that would prove they were serious about this case now, and so she was very careful about how she set everything out and made sure that she itemized it to show how they felt things should happen.

She had finished typing and checking it and as she hit the print icon she felt Steve jump slightly beside her. She turned to see that somebody had their hands over his eyes. Rae watched as he turned around and a grin split his face. A tall slender woman smiled back at him and planted a kiss on his cheek and then Steve put his arms around her and hugged her. Rae, feeling a little as if she was intruding, turned back to her work. The plan began to flop into the tray on the front of the printer, and she picked it up, moved away and began to read through it, even though she knew what it said.

As she kept her head down a shadow appeared across the pages in front of her and she slowly looked up. Steve was smiling down at her, and so was the woman standing next to him. Suddenly she thought knew who it was. "Cheryl?" She straightened up and found herself in a hug too.

"Rae, I feel I know you already. Are you all right?" She turned to Steve. "You were supposed to keep her safe."

"I had enough problems getting her to keep your desk tidy. She got into trouble all by herself!"

"Hey!" Rae looked at Steve, his eyes were bright, and he was obviously delighted to have his old partner back. She smiled at them and took a breath. "I will leave you two to catch up, I have to get down to this." She moved away. Suddenly she wondered how secure her partnership with Steve was. He had worked with Cheryl for a long time; she couldn't blame him if he wanted her back now.

Martin had been watching Rae, and her reaction to Cheryl's return. He knew that it was he, who was supposed to be working with Detective Banks, but part of him hoped that he would finally get to work with Rae officially. He smiled at her, and she walked over. 

"Do you want to see what master plan we have come up with?"

"Yeah, is this for my undercover assignment? I have to say I am worried about it." Martin looked at her and she could see that he was a little nervous.

"Ok, we have gone over and over this, and as far as we can see, you will never be on your own. Either Steve or I will be around, all the time. I have to clear it with the Captain, but I don't think he will change anything. Or at least I hope he won't. I'd like to sleep tonight."

Martin smiled at her again and took the pages of print from her. She watched as he began to read it, and she turned to go back to her desk. Then she stopped. It wasn't her desk anymore. Martin had the spare one. She had no place to go. All of a sudden she felt like an interloper. It was a feeling she had never had since the day she walked into the building. But now she had no idea what to do, or where to go. She looked around. Martin was busy reading. Steve and Cheryl were talking away like the old friends they were, and she was alone. 

Slowly she picked up her jacket and began to leave the room. Nobody stopped her, and she found herself out by Tom before she really knew where she was. She knew that she had a good excuse to go off, her appointment with Mrs Franks was only about two hours away, and she needed some lunch. So she got in her car and as she joined the traffic, she put a call through to Martin and told him where she had gone.

After Rae had spoken to Martin she called Mrs Franks' number and asked if it would be possible to come earlier. She had a feeling that the woman would be glad to get it over with, and she was right. She arranged to go straight there, and after consulting her map found she was only about ten minutes away.

Slowly Rae drew up outside a run down house. It was a dingy white colour, and the paint was peeling. There was a small garden in front, which obviously hadn't had any care, probably since the day that Matthew Franks had died. Rae's heart went out to this woman, even though she had no idea what she was like. She walked up the path and rang the doorbell.

Steve and Cheryl had been talking for about twenty minutes when Steve looked round to ask Rae something and realised that she wasn't there. He looked over towards her desk but all he saw was Cheryl's bag and coat. Martin was slipping his jacket on, phones were ringing, and the squad room was its normal hive of activity but Rae was nowhere to be seen. He stood up and moved over so that he could see into the Captain's office, but the room was completely empty. 

Martin turned. "She's gone out. She called me and said that she was gonna grab some lunch and head over to see Mrs. Franks. 

"Why does she want to see her?" Steve looked confused.

"Remember the honourable man thing? Well, she's still on about that. She thinks it's important, I have no idea if it is or not, but she just won't let it go." Martin smiled. She had come along way since the accident, which had left her in a coma for two days, but she was still like a small child when she had something on her mind. She had decided that this was important, and nobody or nothing was going to change her opinion. Martin checked his watch. "Steve, I have to go, I need to get to the agency. I shouldn't be long, about half an hour or so."

"Oh, right. Let me know when you get back, ok?"

Steve still didn't know why she had left the squad room without saying anything, but Martin was right, she had been on and on about this honourable stuff. Hopefully this way she would drop it. As his mind raced he began to wonder, maybe they were doing her a disservice. If it had been Martin who was going on about this he would have commended his initiative, but with Rae they were dismissing it as the wilfulness of a child. He would ask her later about why she ran off. He had a feeling that it had more to it than just Matthew Franks.

The door to the Frank's residence opened slightly and Rae held her ID up to the crack. "My name is Detective Reagan Yeager, Mrs Franks. I called you a while ago." The door opened a little wider and Rae could see a very tearful face staring at her. "Can I come in, ma'am?"

The door was opened fully then, and a small slight woman was revealed. She had brown hair that had been pulled back into a band, and she was wearing a completely black outfit. Top, pants, even shoes.  Rae thought that she was probably in her early forties. The woman didn't say a word, but she moved out of the way so that Rae could enter and then indicated a chair with her hand. 

The house was untidy, and the floor had cat and dog hairs on it. Rae knew that the woman was suffering, but surely she must have some friends who could have helped her out. "Do you know why I am here, Mrs. Franks?" Rae felt she ought to start right at the very beginning.

"Yes, because of my Matthew. Have you found out anything more?"

"No, I'm sorry, but we are working on it as hard as we can. I just wanted to ask a few questions if that is all right with you."

The woman seemed to suddenly get very animated and she moved quickly across to where Rae was sitting, and put her hand on Rae's arm. "You must find who did this. He can never be at peace if you don't. He was a good man, and he deserves to spend eternity at rest."

Rae looked at the woman who was crouched down in front of her. She had felt no fear as she had darted across to her, and now she put her own hand over the thin cold one which was still on her arm. "That's what we plan to do, ma'am. We want to catch the people who did this. But I need to know a little about your husband. Can you tell me about him?"

Mrs Franks nodded her head, and Rae continued to talk. "You said to the officer who came to see you that he was an honourable man. I really need to know why you said that."

"I don't know. He was an honest man, and faithful too, I know that. But he just kept saying it, over and over. He seemed very worried the last two weeks of his life…" The tears started to spill down Mrs Franks' cheeks and Rae reached over and passed her a tissue from the box on the table. "He wasn't a clever man, he never graduated high school, and he found it hard to get a job, but he liked to work down by the water, he loved water. But things had changed."

"What things?" Rae looked expectantly at the woman. "Things at work, or at home?"

"At work. He was always eager to go to work, to watch the ships and to do his model making, that was what he used to do at night, if it was quiet while he was on duty." She smiled and pointed to a beautiful boat, which was sitting on the windowsill. "But then about, ooh, I don't know maybe two weeks or so before he … he died he changed." 

"In what way?"

"He didn't want to go to work. But if you're a temp and you don't go in, you don't get paid. I know this is no palace, but we had to pay the rent."

"So you have no idea what he meant by 'I am an honourable man'? What about your children, would he have spoken to them about it?" Rae was alarmed by the reaction her words had.

The woman seemed to shrink in on herself even more and she shook her head violently. "No, no… I don't know. I'm sorry. I haven't seen them in a while."

Rae was confused now. From her notes the Franks had two children aged fourteen and twelve. "I'm sorry, ma'am, but I don't understand what you mean."

"After their father… well you know. They had to go live somewhere else. I see them sometimes at weekends, but never in the week. We don't talk about their father very much, because I get so upset."

Rae could feel her anger building. This woman had lost her partner and her children, and they had done nothing. They had been so wrapped up in their own problems that this case had been neglected. She stood up quickly and Mrs Franks let out a gasp.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Did your husband have a journal, where he would have kept his thoughts and worries?"

"No, Detective, not that I know of, but I will have a look around. Thank you for coming to see me, I know that things will move now that you are on the case." Mrs Franks smiled for the first time, and Rae felt her heart sink.

"I will do my best for you and your family." She moved towards the door and then turned as she got there. She handed over one of her cards and smiled. "If you or your children do think of anything please call me. And if you don't mind me saying, you should talk to them about their father, that way you will keep his memory alive."

"I know, but it's so hard." She wiped at her tears again as she looked at Rae.

"It will get a little easier as time passes." Rae smiled and put her hand on the woman's shoulder. "I'll see myself out, and I'll keep in touch." With that Rae left the house and headed back towards Tom. She had a good mind to come and attend to the garden herself, but she would wait a while. She didn't want to intrude.

As she drove along Rae wondered about Edward Judge's widow. He had been the second night watchman murdered. She didn't have the address on her, and she knew she really should get back to the precinct. She had worked hard on the details of the undercover operation with Steve; they should present it together. She turned at the next junction and headed back.

Steve and Cheryl were talking at Steve's desk with Martin when Rae walked back in about half an hour later. She hung her jacket on the coat hooks by the door, not wanting to assume that her desk was still hers. Steve looked up and saw her as she stood, a little awkwardly, and moved over to her.

"Hey, where did you go? Rae, are you all right?" Steve looked at her, she seemed all of a sudden out of place, and he had never seen her like that before.

"Yeah, it's nothing. I just saw Mrs Franks that's all. I thought we should present the plan we worked out to the Captain."

"Oh. I did it with Cheryl; I hope that's ok. He liked it, very much, and wants us to get working on obtaining all the stuff we need, getting identities sorted out, that type of thing." Steve stared at her. He had a feeling that it wasn't ok, it wasn't ok at all. 

Rae took a deep breath and then forced a smile. "I will try and find out about the van then, Martin can I use your phone?" She saw the young detective nod and she turned to his desk. Steve shrugged his shoulders and moved back to Cheryl and carried on their discussion.

Martin watched as Rae moved towards his desk. Then he heard Steve speak to him and he returned to the matter in hand.

By the time Rae had got a van organised, and arranged some of the details of her own new identity it was time to go home. She moved over to where Steve and Cheryl were sitting and smiled. "I think I'll call it a day, Steve. Are you gonna register with the agencies tomorrow?"

"Yeah, Martin went in while you were out today and I'm going in about ten. Let's hope we don't have to wait too long. If there aren't any openings in the next few days, I think we'll just go down and try the direct approach."

"What direct approach?"

"Door knocking, please give me a job, that sort of thing."

"Oh, right." 

"Listen, I think that you and Cheryl should work together on your part of this. Two heads are better than one, and if anything happens, you'll need back up too, ok?"

Rae just nodded. "I'll see you then. Bye all." With that Rae moved over and picked up her jacket from the stand and headed down towards her car. 

Steve watched her leave. Something wasn't right; he would call her later, and have a word with her.

When Rae drew up into her parking space at home she was delighted to see that Jesse's car was already there. She knocked at his door, and waited. "Hey, handsome, how was your day?"

"Fine, busy, but fine, are you coming in?"

"Yeah, and then you can tell me to grow up and get over it."

"What?" Jesse turned and watched her walk into his apartment. As he shut the door with his foot he took her in his arms and began to kiss her. Slowly they pulled apart and Rae smiled at him.

"I had a strange day, is all." Rae wished now that she hadn't mentioned it. 

Jesse pulled her down onto the sofa and put his arm around her. They had only been back together for four weeks, and he still couldn't believe how lucky he had been that she had wanted him back. "Ok, give. Something's not quite right here."

Rae gave a tight smile. "I'm feeling jealous, it's not something I feel very often, and I guess I'm a little disgusted with myself."

"Jealous about what?"

"Cheryl came back today. Now I have no desk, no partner, and a lot of feelings I didn't know were there, all crowding to the surface."

"Like what?" Jesse looked at Rae. He had stopped being jealous of Steve and Rae's relationship a long while ago, but he knew it wouldn't take much for it to come to the fore again.

"She knows so much about him, they worked together for a long time, I know he missed her while she was away, and he hardly said two words to me after she came into the precinct." She took a breath. "And they presented our plan to the Captain while I was out." She ran her fingers through her hair. "I've finished!"

"Shhh, honey, listen to me. You're right, they were together for a long time, but he didn't work as well with her as he does with you. You get along differently with him than she does. It will be ok. I never thought you were unsure of yourself. Come here."

Slowly Rae looked up at him. She was already as close to him as she could get, so 'come here' was a problem; she felt his fingers as they began to twist in her hair and then they began to kiss each other again. The problems of the day seemed to float away and Rae began to just enjoy the moment. 

Steve and Cheryl sat at Bob's and he watched his old partner eat her meal with great enjoyment. "This I missed. I had a great time, but your barbeque is the best there is."

"Thank you. You know you have a British accent!"

"I do not. Well, I won't by the end of the week. You know, Rae always came across as so friendly in her e-mails, but she seemed a little distant today."

"Yeah, I'll call her later, maybe she's coming down with something, she certainly wasn't herself. So, do you think you will work with Martin ok?"

"I don't think it will be a problem." They had spent most of the day getting used to each other. Martin had filled her in on some of the cases that he was working on, and she had read through the files of what had been happening while she was away. "You know I will need to get a desk moved into the room. Martin has the old spare one, and I can't work on the floor." She began to smile and then a look of horror spread across her face.

"What, what is it?" Steve looked worried.

"I know what the problem is with Rae. I came in, put my stuff on her desk, monopolised her partner for the whole day, and to make it worse I even presented her plan to the Captain. She's jealous, Steve, she feels left out, and now I don't blame her. I will apologise when I see her."

As Steve went to speak his pager began to bleep. He looked at the message and with a sigh got up and headed for the phone.

Rae and Jesse had retired to the bedroom, and were lying there lost in each other when they heard the bleep bleep of a pager. They both groaned and then Jesse got up off the bed and headed for the living area. "Hey, it's yours."

"Oh, great." Rae rolled over and picked up the phone. "The station right?" Jesse came back into the room and nodded. Rae dialled the number and waited.

Half an hour later Rae and Jesse were standing on the docks, leaning up against Tom, waiting for Steve. She turned as she heard a noise and saw not only Steve but Cheryl as well, and began to walk towards them.

"Steve, Cheryl, I don't even know what to say about this." Steve was surprised to see how upset and angry she looked.

"Why, what's the matter?"

"There's a guy in there, in the warehouse, with a bullet through the brain. If we had concentrated on this when we got the first call, this man wouldn't be dead." She went to march away from her partner but stopped as she felt him touch her.

Steve put his hands on Rae's shoulders and turned her to him. "Ok, hold on here. If you would care to look at this properly, there are a few things you need to remember. First of all we were getting nowhere with this and we had filed it away. Then we started on the animal rights case, and life got a little crazy. You were injured, then Jo was kidnapped, and to cap it all most of us ended up in the ICU. Where the hell were we supposed to fit this in? Stop wallowing and feeling sorry for yourself, Detective, and do your job." Suddenly Steve was shouting, and Rae moved back from him.

"Thank you for the pep talk, Lieutenant. I guess I'll show you the body." She turned from him then and walked into the building.

Jesse felt very uncomfortable; he stood up straight and got back in Rae's car. It was unusual for her to feel so out of sorts with herself, but he guessed she would get over it. He resisted the temptation to go after her; he had a feeling it wouldn't help. He leant back in the seat and looked around him. The area was almost cut off from the rest of the docks. The warehouses were large and quite modern. If he had the ability to look round corners he knew that he would be able to see the water. 

There were all the usual things that you would expect to see on a dockside in front of him, although in the dark with just the warehouse lights to show them up they took on an almost mystical look. He tried to think of the words he would use to describe it. The area had a ghostly feel to it, almost ethereal.  He wouldn't have been surprised if creatures of the night had appeared in front of him. _Get a grip Travis, or Rae won't let you watch Buffy any more!_

Rae led Steve and Cheryl into the warehouse directly to their left. "This is the same warehouse as the first murder, Matthew Franks. The victim's name is Daniel Jenkins. A security guard who noticed that the door was open and came into see if everything was ok found him. Obviously it wasn't, and I don't think he plans to investigate anything ever again!" 

They had been walking as Rae was talking and as she paused they found themselves standing in front of the body. Amanda was working there.

"Hi guys. Cheryl, how are you? How was London?" Amanda stood up, wiped her hands on her jacket and hugged her friend.

"Great, but I missed night calls to the cold and dark parts of LA." Cheryl smiled at Amanda and watched as she crouched back down.

"Ok, Daniel Jenkins, shot at point blank range through the back of the skull. Small calibre bullet, which is still in there. I will let you have more details when I get them. But he died instantly and there was no struggle."

Rae had walked away while Amanda was talking; she had heard it before. There was a security guard sitting slightly off to the right of where the body was and she moved over to him. She had spoken to him earlier, but now she wanted Steve to hear what he had to say. "Steve, over here."

Steve looked over and saw Rae standing next to a very shocked looking man. He must have been about sixty and was wearing a blue set of overalls that said Sight Security on them. He had heard of the firm, he guessed that the name was supposed to be funny, but the first time he had seen it he had thought it was a typo.

"Steve this is Ernie Lane, he is the security guard for this part of the docks. He found Mr. Jenkins body. Mr. Lane, this is my partner, Lieutenant Sloan."

Cheryl stood a little way back and watched as Steve moved over to where the security guard was sitting. Rae's body language had changed the moment she had got near the man. He was obviously shaken and Rae was taking care not to distress him further.

"Do you want to tell Lieutenant Sloan just what you told me, Mr. Lane? There is no need to hurry. Just take your time."

"Well, as I told your partner here, I was doing my rounds when I saw the door over there was open. This is almost the end of the part of the docks that I cover. I know that when I walked past on my way up it was shut, but by the time I was on my way back, about five minutes later it was open." He paused and looked up.

"Did you hear any noises, gun shots anything like that?" Steve was taking notes as he spoke.

"No, Sir. The docks are a noisy place during the day, but at night, they are dead quiet." He shuddered as he realised what he had just said. "If there had been any noises to hear I would've heard them."

"What happened after you found the open door, Mr. Lane?" Rae smiled at him, encouraging him to keep talking.

"I called out. I didn't know who was working here; they have a high turnover of staff. But I knew that one guy had been found dead in here. There was another one too, but that wasn't on my patch."

"Were you working when the first night watchman was killed?"

"Nope, I was on vacation. Wish I still was." He shuddered then and looked up at the tall male detective looking down at him. "I came in when I didn't get an answer and there he was, just lying there. I knew he was dead and I didn't touch nothing. Put a call in and waited. Then your lady friend came and the coroner." He stopped talking, and leant back against the wall.

"Are you all right, Mr. Lane? Would you like me to get somebody to run you home?"

"That would be mighty kind of you, ma'am. And tomorrow I will be handing in my notice. You won't get me back down here, day or night." With that he moved away and headed for the doorway. Rae followed him and directed him over to where one of the black and whites was parked. She explained to the officer what she wanted him to do and then she turned back to Mr. Lane.

"In the morning, I would be obliged if you could come into the station and make a statement. The officer on the desk will know that you are coming in. Thank you for your assistance tonight." Rae paused and then suddenly thinking of something spoke again. "Will you be on your own tonight, Mr. Lane?"

"What, no, no, my wife is at home. Don't you worry, I'll be fine. Thank you, you made it easier to talk about it than I would have thought." He got into the car and Rae watched as he was driven away.

Cheryl had stood in the doorway while Rae was talking to Mr. Lane. She wanted to see how she worked, and she was impressed. She could see why Steve liked working with her so much that he had asked the Captain to dissolve their own partnership. She shrugged. Twelve months was a long time, she couldn't expect things to stay the same. As she stood there, Rae moved off towards a little red car. Cheryl carried on watching, curious to see what she was going to do next.

Jesse was leaning back in the seat with his eyes closed. He was glad that he had come, if only to see that Rae was working like she used to before her accident. He hadn't been sure how she was coping with being a full time cop again. Especially since he had given her the added pressure of knowing how much he disliked it. He was brought back from his meanderings by a knock on the window. "Hey, I was just thinking about you." Jesse smiled at Rae as she grinned at him.

"I'll be a while longer, did you want to take Tom home, I'm sure I can get a lift."

"If you're sure then. I'll see you when you get back. I'm not starting until one. What about you?"

"Eleven, but I get the feeling I will just work through. I guess it'll be a couple of days before I see you again then." She smiled at him, kissed her own finger, placed it on his lips and turned away. Her thoughts were crowding in on her and she could feel her temper rising. She walked over towards the edge of the dock and looked at the water, trying to regain control of herself. After a few minutes she gave herself a mental shake to try to lighten her mood a little, but as she walked back towards the warehouse her mind was still working. The first thing was that they shouldn't have answered this call. She marched up to Steve and stood squarely in front of him. "Why did we get this?"

"This what?"

"This call." Rae looked around and moved further into the warehouse. "We're supposed to be here undercover, hopefully by the end of the week, and here we are flaunting the fact that we're cops. Maybe we should paint targets on our backs at the same time!"

"Rae, what is the matter with you? Ok, you're right, we shouldn't be here, but it's not like you to lose your temper. You've been off with me all day. Go home, Cheryl and I can sort this out. Get some sleep, I'll see you tomorrow."

Rae bit down on her tongue and managed to keep back the words she wanted to spit out at him. Instead she just looked at him and in a very tight voice asked him, "Am I being dismissed, Lieutenant?"

"Yes, Detective, I guess you are."

Rae said nothing more, she walked out of the warehouse without a second glance and over to one of the three black and whites still outside. "I could do with a lift, if you don't mind."

"Sure, hop in." The officer who was leaning up against his car waiting to find out which part of the warehouse he was to search looked into the face of the English Detective standing in front of him, and decided that it wouldn't be a good idea to ask why she was leaving. So he got in the car and without another word drove away from the docks.

Cheryl moved over to where Steve was standing and put her hand on his shoulder. "Hey." Her voice was soft and welcoming and Steve turned and smiled at her. "Come on, she's had you to herself for twelve months, and they have been pretty rough months from what I've heard. Everybody has off days. Especially you, Sloan. Now what do you want me to do?"

"Just check around, there must be a reason why people are getting killed down here. Anything unusual, give me a shout."

Rae got out of the car at the edge of the parking lot and walked over to the main entrance of the building. She walked in and up to Jesse's apartment and rang the bell. After she had done so she realised what time it was, but it was too late now, so she stood and waited. A very sleepy face peered round the door and slowly broke into a smile. He put his hand out and pulled her into the room. "Hey, I didn't think I would see you again tonight." Jesse looked at her and realised that she wasn't as happy to see him as he was to see her. "Ok, this time we are gonna talk, come on. I'll make you a cup of tea and you can tell me what happened."

"Jesse, don't. It's nothing more, well, not much anyway, I'm angry enough with myself as it is. Don't make it worse. Just take me to bed and hold me tight, please?"

Jesse turned the kettle back off and walked over to her. He gently peeled her jacket off and then took her hand. She followed him meekly to the bedroom and then smiled as he closed the door and turned to her. "You need to relax, and with my help you will." He slowly undid the shirt she was wearing and slipped it off her shoulders, then he began to work on the buttons on her jeans. Rae put her hands up and peeled off the t-shirt that he had been sleeping in, but when she moved her hands down to his shorts he stopped her. "Nope, you may not go there, not tonight."  He undid the clasp to Rae's bra and then he moved her over to the bed. "Lie down, on your front and wait." Rae did as she was told and after a couple of minutes felt him sit over her. 

"What are you going to do, Jess?" Rae tried to look round at him but stopped as she felt something warm being drizzled onto her back. Slowly she felt Jesse's hands begin to massage her back and shoulders. It felt wonderful, and she surrendered herself to him and his hands. The feelings of anger and resentment began to disappear. Then the sympathy she had felt for Mrs Franks, which had been eating at her all afternoon, began to dissipate and she let herself relax just as Jesse had told her she would.

Jesse slowly ran his hands over Rae's back for the final time. He knew that she was fast asleep, and had been for a few minutes now. He had carried on for two reasons; one was that he didn't want the sudden cessation of the movements to wake her, but mainly because she felt so fantastic under his fingers. He couldn't believe that he hadn't done this for her before. Maybe next time it would lead to other things, but this time he had achieved his objective, to get her to relax and sleep. _And it's much safer than a sedative in her soup. For her and me!_ He moved off her and went to wash his hands. When he returned Rae had turned over and was lying on her side curled up, he turned the light off, moved behind her and coiled his body around her. Then with a smile he waited for sleep to claim him too.


	2. Chapter 2 Forbidden Fruit

Forbidden Fruit 

It was ten o'clock before Rae began to stir the next morning. She slowly began to stretch out and as she turned she saw Jesse still fast asleep beside her. She moved over towards him and rested her head on his chest. Just as Jesse had done the night before, she enjoyed the feeling of his skin against hers and closed her eyes again. The next thing she knew the phone was ringing insistently in her ear.

Jesse put his hand out, and without moving any other part of his body picked up the phone and put it to his ear. "Hello?"

Suddenly Rae felt herself being moved off his chest and she rubbed her eyes and looked at him. "Rae, it's almost noon, you were due in an hour ago."

"What? Oh, great." Rae looked at her watch. "Tell, whoever it is, that I'm on my way." She got up, grabbed her clothes and headed to the bathroom. She heard Jesse speaking into the phone and then he came and put his head round the door. "Ok, I said you would be there in an hour. Want me to go get you some clean stuff from next door?"

"Yes, please. Oh, Jess, make sure it matches, ok?"

Jesse stuck his tongue out at her shadow in the shower pulled his jeans and t-shirt on, and headed for the hallway. 

He unlocked her door, and picked up the mail. He felt Kira wrap herself round his ankles and bent down to stroke her under her chin. Then he laid the mail on the counter. As he did so he saw an envelope bearing some handwriting that he recognised. He picked it up and slid it into his jeans. Then he went and grabbed clean underwear, a pair of black pants and a white shirt for Rae. He figured he couldn't go wrong with black and white.  Then he put some cat food in the bowl for Kira, ticked the list on the refrigerator and headed back for his own apartment. 

Rae came out of the shower and ran her fingers through her hair. She couldn't believe that she had slept in. She'd never been late for work since she had arrived in LA. _Great now Cheryl will think I'm lazy as well as bad tempered and inconsiderate._ She heard Jesse open his front door and wandered out into the living area to meet him. "Hey, what am I wearing today then?"

Jesse grinned at her. "Not a lot by the look of it."

She smiled, stuck her tongue out and looked at what he had chosen. Jesse had picked out her very best trousers, the ones she only wore for court appearances and evenings out, and a white shirt that she had last worn when she spring cleaned her apartment. She took them from him and put them on quickly. "Thank you, sweetheart. This will be fine." 

Jesse smiled. "I knew I couldn't go wrong with black and white. Oh, I fed Kira, and ticked it off on the sheet." 

"Thank you. Now I really must be going. I have no idea when I'll see you, but I hope it'll be soon. Have a good day." Rae leant over and kissed him on the lips. Slowly she felt his arms go round her, and hold her tight. She moved out of the kiss and looked into his eyes. "I love you so much." She rested her head on his shoulder for an instant, and then she moved towards the door. She blew him a kiss and then she was gone.

Steve sat at his desk and wondered what the matter was with Rae. He didn't think it could just be jealousy; she had never struck him as a jealous person. As for being late, well he had a feeling she would be really angry with herself for that. He got up to put the kettle on so that she could have a drink as soon as she got in. As he stood there he looked around. Martin was busy reading through the notes from last night. Rae's desk was empty and waiting for her. Cheryl wasn't due to work today. Steve wasn't sure where they were going to fit another desk in. Maybe Martin and Cheryl would have to have their desks backing on to each other. He carried on thinking as he made the drinks and he knew Rae was in before he saw her. 

Rae stormed into the room. Her desk was clear so she plonked her purse down on it and hung her jacket over the back of the chair. Then she sat down and ran her fingers through her hair. She knew that she needed to get her feelings under control so that she could apologise to Steve and Cheryl and get on with her job. She looked up as a cup of tea was put in front of her. "Hi, thank you."

"No problem. Are you ok, it's not like you to be late for anything."

"I'm sorry, ok. It won't happen again. Let's get on shall we?" Rae got up and headed over to where the phone books were kept. She needed the number for a hairdressers and an optician. 

"Fine, I have plenty to do." Steve turned away from her, and as he sat down his phone rang. "Sloan here… Oh, hi…Yeah, did you call the wrong extension…? What, no, look give me a minute and I'll call you back, ok?" Steve put the phone down and moved away from his desk. He walked up to Detective Campbell, whose desk was further up the room. "Can I borrow your phone?"

Steve received a nod and watched as the Detective moved over out of the way. Steve put his call in and waited.

Jesse picked up the phone on the first ring. "Steve? Listen, can Rae hear you…? Good. I went to get her some clean clothes from her apartment this morning, and the mail was on the mat. There was a letter from him…Yeah, him… No I haven't done anything with it except put it in my pocket…Ok, I'll keep it with me and I'll get it to you without her seeing…No, you need to speak to her, she'll tell you what's the matter… Yeah, bye."

Steve moved back over to his desk. His mind was too busy as it was; now he had Levington to worry about again. He picked up his phone and put a call through to Community General. "Hi, this is Lieutenant Sloan, could I speak to Doctor Bentley please?"

Rae heard Steve start his phone call, and knew that he was getting the preliminary autopsy report. Not that there was anything difficult about it. The man had been shot through the head, point blank range, probably. She clenched her fists and then released them. This whole case was making her feel very angry. At herself mainly. She knew that it hadn't been her fault that she had been injured, but if it hadn't happened then maybe this would have already been sorted out. She found the number that she wanted in the phone book and dialled.

By the time she finished on the phone she had all the information she needed and an appointment at the hairdressers for half an hour's time. She moved over to her partner's desk and tried a smile. "Steve, I have to go out. This is where I will be for the next couple of hours. If you are still here when I get back, I would like to talk to you."

Steve looked up and nodded. "I'll make sure I'm still here then, ok?" He took the proffered piece of paper and laid it on the desk, then as he watched her she turned and walked out of the squad room. 

The autopsy report that Steve had got from Amanda had been just as he had expected. They had very few leads to go on. There were no security cameras in that part of the docks. It was up to the individual companies if they wanted cameras linked to their warehouses and this company obviously didn't. Steve shuffled the papers on his desk until he found the piece he wanted. The company that owned the warehouse was based in New York. He checked his watch, and decided to give it a go. Once he had dialled the number he sat and waited.

"Hello? Oh, hi, this is Lieutenant Sloan, LAPD, I wondered if I could speak to the person who deals with your Los Angeles operation…. Yes, I'll hold." Steve began to doodle on the pad in front of him. By the time he got through he had drawn four boxes and a cube. He began to explain what it was he wanted.

Martin had finished the report and was now comparing the new information with that they had already gathered on the first two murders when his cell phone rang. "Hello…? Yes, this is Martin Anderson… What, oh great…Yeah I'm still interested. I need the work… I can come over right now if you would like, Ok. See you in a while." He put the phone down with an apprehensive smile. Then he stood and walked over to Steve's desk. He could see that Steve was making notes as he talked on the phone, so he sat himself on the edge of Rae's desk and waited. Five minutes later Steve put the phone down. 

"Martin? Everything ok?" Steve stood up as he began to speak.

"I just got a call from the agency, they have a vacancy for a night watchman. I guess we know what happened to the last guy, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess we do. Ok, you need to go to the temp agency and get everything rolling. You have all the paperwork that we had made up for you; once you have signed everything, go home. From now on you don't come in here, ok? You have Rae's mobile number and mine; you contact us on there. Don't use Rae, remember, it's too unusual a name, call her Susan. Otherwise when she turns up on the dock someone might spot something." Steve put his hand up to stop Martin speaking. "I know we're probably being over cautious, but that's what we decided, so from now on, she is Susan, ok?"

"Yeah, I guess, don't forget to tell her I know then. I'll see you, whenever." Martin took a last look around the squad room; he wondered how long it would be before he was back. Then giving himself a mental shake he went off down the stairs, and headed towards the agency.

Jesse walked into the ER and looked around for Mark. He had been on duty for just over two hours, and he still hadn't seen him. As he went back towards the doctor's lounge he saw a white head disappear round towards Amanda's lab. "Hey, Mark, wait up." He broke into a run and almost collided with his friend as he turned the corner. "Hi, I've been looking for you everywhere, where've you been?"

"Don't ask. I had a meeting with the board. You know I don't think I could bear to be a businessman; I would have gone nuts long ago. What were you looking for me for?"

"I wondered if you could take this home and give it to Steve for me. I'm working through tonight, so I won't get the chance." Jesse handed over a large brown envelope with '_Steve_' written on the front.

"Sure, what is it?" Mark looked at it and turned it over in his hands.

"It's a letter, inside the big envelope, that I picked up from Rae's place this morning. It's from Levington. She doesn't know anything about it." 

Mark shuddered. They had all thought that when Phil Levington had been jailed for twenty years for stalking Rae, and almost killing Jesse that their problems were over, but he had been sending mail to Rae on and off ever since, although she knew nothing about it. "Ok, I'll see that he gets it tonight when he comes home. Thanks, Jess." 

Jesse started to speak but they were interrupted by a voice floating through the air, calling both of them to the ER.

Steve had been looking at the information from New York for about half an hour. The only good thing about starting an undercover operation was that you didn't get called out on other things. He had been able to spend the whole day in the precinct, and he had got a lot done. This though was a dead end. The man that Steve had spoken to had been extremely vague, he had said a lot, but revealed nothing. The warehouse operation on the docks was just a very small cog in an enormous wheel. It was a small operation, importing and exporting international magazines and newspapers. Every now and again, Rae would buy a copy of a magazine that she used to read in England. Steve guessed that it could quite easily have come in through Wagon Warehouses. She also got a daily paper sometimes; he wasn't so sure about that. 

He began to look through the details of the company in Los Angeles that he had been provided with. From what he understood it was just a branch office. The revenue from the warehouses was invoiced from Los Angeles, but the money was paid straight to New York. Still he had the address to contact the next day just to see what they could find out from this end. He guessed that Rae and he could go and do that first thing in the morning. As he began to work out a plan in his mind his spare cell phone rang and he answered it. "Yup!"

Rae parked Tom and walked back into the precinct. She had a smile on her face and she was waiting to see if she got any reaction. Bob was working on the desk, and he didn't look up as she walked up to him. So she shrugged her shoulders and carried on up the stairs. As she entered the squad room she saw Steve put his cell phone back into his pocket and begin to write something down. She walked across, put her hands down on his desk and waited.

Steve looked at the hands on his desk. They had long lilac nails, which had silver shooting stars going up the middle of them. He looked up to see who they belonged to and nearly fell off his chair. "Good God! What happened to you?"

Rae smiled and tossed her hair off her shoulders. "I started to get into character, what do you think?" she took her hands back off the desk and ran them through her hair, but this time it wasn't just a short trip across her head. Her hair was no longer brown and short, but blonde and long, very long. The front parts were in tiny plaits and had been caught back in a lilac coloured clasp on the back of her head. Her brown eyes were now green, and she looked completely different.

"Well, I don't think your own mother would recognise you. But you still sound the same. But I guess nobody is going to realise you are Reagan Yeager, the most famous detective in LA!" Rae stuck her tongue out at him. "Unless you do that!" Steve smiled at her. "It's on for tomorrow. I just got a call. I have a job as a security guard. I start at six p.m. Twelve-hour shift. I can hardly wait!"

"Well the van is ready, all I have to do is stock it up and Cheryl and I can be there whenever you want. What about Martin?"

"He went to the temp agency this afternoon. He got Jenkins old job. He starts at eight-tomorrow night. So I think we should both leave here now. We won't be able to come back until this is finished."

Rae looked at him. "I still need to talk to you. Do you fancy a take out at my place?"

"Yeah, sure. I'll follow you, ok?"

Rae climbed into Tom and pulled out into the traffic. She drove to Bob's and waited in the parking lot while Steve went in and picked up a meal for the two of them. She didn't want anybody to see her looking as she did. She watched as Steve came back out and got into his car and then she drew away again and headed for home.

The barbeque smelt wonderful as they walked up the hallway together. Rae unlocked her door and they entered. Kira began to purr as she saw Rae and so she bent down and picked her up. The cat began to flick her paws at the long hair that was hanging over Rae's shoulders, and she laughed as she put her back down. "You know I've never had hair this length before, I love it."

It didn't take them long to eat their food, and then Steve stared over at his partner. She seemed much more calm, maybe Cheryl was part of the problem. He wasn't sure how to start the conversation but he knew he had to try. "Are you ok? What made you so angry? Was it Mrs Franks?"

"Yes it was partly Mrs Franks. Do you know what I found out yesterday when I went visit with her? No, obviously you don't, seeing as you haven't bothered to go yourself." Rae could feel her anger rise again, but she carried on. "She isn't coping with her loss at all. Her house is a mess; nobody seems to be giving her any back up. The garden is uncared for, paint is peeling off the windows, and just to cap it all, her children have been taken into care. All because we didn't do our job properly." Rae was shouting now, but she didn't care. All the guilt of the day before came rushing back.

"Ok, that's enough! No, I didn't go see her; I didn't think it was necessary. Maybe I was wrong. I'm sorry about her children, and the fact that she isn't getting the assistance she needs but it'll keep, I have other things on my mind. I'm worried about you, Rae, this assignment is important, and it could be dangerous. I don't want you doing it if you don't think you can keep up with the rest of us."

"Why wouldn't I be able to? If you don't want me on your team, Lieutenant, you just let me know. I'm sure you can find another willing helper from your list of previous partners!" Rae had carried on blazing. Even with the green contacts in, Steve recognised the danger signs.

"Rae, maybe it's because you aren't quite back up to speed yet. You had a life threatening injury, perhaps these feelings are a natural part of your recovery, or possibly you just need to get more rest now than you did before." Steve knew he had said the wrong thing immediately the words left his lips.

"Maybe it's just you I need the rest from!" Rae's anger suddenly changed and Steve saw panic cross her face. "I can't believe you just said that. You were the only person who treated me as if I was better for a long while. You didn't speak to me like a child, you phoned me, even though my answers took a long time. Do you think that I am getting worse again? That maybe I will go back to being childlike? Is that why you don't want to work with me?" There was fear in Rae's voice, but Steve chose to ignore it, knowing that getting to the real heart of the matter would settle her down much more effectively.

"But I do want to work with you. You're my partner. But maybe Cheryl is right. Maybe you are jealous."

"Yeah, I'm jealous of her. And I know I shouldn't be, I hate myself for it, but that's how I feel. She worked with you for a long time. She obviously wants to work with you again…" Rae turned away from him, she knew if she looked at him she would let more of the hurt and anger from yesterday spill out.

"Why? She's a lovely lady, Rae, I want you two to get along together. She does too. I think that the four of us, Cheryl, Martin, you and I will make a great team. But you have to be prepared to climb down off your high horse and get to know her."

"High horse. You think I'm on a high horse? How would you react if you found your life turned upside down like mine was yesterday? Cheryl comes back, and all of a sudden, I have no partner, no desk, somebody else gives my report to the Captain, I go to a murder scene, our murder scene, and there she is. And you, you hardly spoke to me after she arrived in the squad room. You and Martin spent all day with her. How dare you say I was … whatever it was you said I was?" Rae stood up and began to move away.

Steve stood too and put his hands on her shoulders to stop her. He turned her to him. "Listen. Don't say a word, just listen. The reason Martin and I spent all day with her, was that we were showing her the cases that she would be working on, with her new partner… Martin. She was also getting to know him, as she will be with him from now on. Rae, I asked the Captain to team Cheryl with Martin, so that you and I can work together permanently." 

"Oh." Rae looked down and felt Steve's hand gently lift her chin. They looked into each other's eyes, and almost without realising what was happening she felt his lips come down onto hers and begin to kiss her. She began to respond to him and suddenly felt his tongue as it probed deep into her mouth, and his hands as they ran through the long blonde hair that fell over her shoulders.  "Steve…" Rae was going to say,  'no, we mustn't,' but Steve's mouth claimed hers in another, deep longing, loving kiss. She went to pull away from him, but his arms were strong around her and she gave in and began to kiss him again.


	3. Chapter 3 Kiss and Tell

Kiss and Tell 

This time it was Steve who pulled away. "Rae, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that." He turned away from her, but felt her hand on his arm.

"Did you enjoy it?" She was looking at him with concern in her eyes. He just nodded. "So did I. Do you want to do it again?" He nodded again and she pulled him back towards her and this time she began to kiss him, he felt her fingers as they ran through his hair, and he kissed her back with an excitement that was both new and frightening. This time the kiss lasted longer and was, if possible, even more passionate than the first one. As he pulled away he looked into her eyes, and he knew without a shadow of a doubt that it was wrong.

"Rae, don't." He tore his eyes away from her face, but she moved so that she was still in front of him.

"Did you enjoy it this time?" He couldn't speak so he nodded once again. "Do you want to do it again?"

"No, no, Rae, I don't, it's wrong."

"Good, because I don't either. Steve, I love you, and if I'm honest, and I always try to be, I have wanted to do that to you for the longest time. But I don't love you like I love Jesse; I don't want to leap into bed with you. You don't belong to me, you never will, and I don't belong to you. I want to be with Jesse, I want to spend my life with him, you want to be with Texas. I enjoyed what we did, but I don't think we'll need to do it again." She paused. "But I wouldn't say no to a hug."

Steve held out his arms, and to his relief she fitted right into them, just as she always had done. He kissed her gently on the top of the head and then he moved back.

"Jesse is a lucky guy. I hope he realises that." 

"If he doesn't I will have to make sure I tell him more often." She smiled at her partner once again. "Steve, I will tell Jesse what happened here tonight. I can't do otherwise, I hope you understand."

"I know. I get the feeling I will have to tell Jo, too."  He ran his finger down her cheek and then spoke again. "I'm going to go now. I'll look out for you tomorrow night. Remember I like mine white, lots of sugar." With that he moved away, grabbed his jacket and left. 

Rae picked up the empty barbeque cartons and put them in the trash. Then she went into the bedroom and stood in front of the mirror. She looked at herself for a long time before taking out her contact lenses and making herself look a little more like she normally did. Then she grabbed a book and headed back to the sofa.

By the time Steve drew up in front of the beach house he was so ashamed of himself that he headed straight for his closet, pulled on his running gear and began to pound along the beach. It was getting dark and he knew that he wouldn't be able to run for long, but he just needed to push himself hard to try and forget what he had just done. Maybe it was a mistake for Rae and him to be partners. He'd had a hard time convincing the Captain that he called her honey because she was his friend, and that she'd seemed to need that sort of affection when she had been injured.  As much as he had enjoyed working with Cheryl in the past it was Rae he worked with best. Nothing would change that.  As he ran he tried to put the words in order so that he could write to Jo. Whichever way he looked at it the situation stank. He had kissed the girlfriend of his best friend. Rae had kissed the boyfriend of her best friend. He ran back up the steps to the beach house in the dark and was temporarily blinded by the lights shining in the lounge.

"Hey, Son, are you alright? You don't normally run this late." Mark was sitting at the table, a brown envelope just in front of him.

"Yeah, I just have a problem I need to work out. What's that?" He could see his name written in Jesse's hand. _My God, he knows! _But he realised instantly that couldn't be the case.

"This is from Jesse. Apparently he picked it up from Rae's place. He said you knew about it."

"Oh, right. Yeah, from Levington. Hold on a second. I'll be right back." Steve went down to his apartment and grabbed a pair of gloves from his jacket, and then he returned to the table.

He opened Jesse's envelope and slid out the contents. It was a small envelope, the type used to send personal letters. The postmark was, by the look of it, somewhere in East LA, but it was a bit smudged. Steve had picked up the letter opener on his way past the desk and now he carefully opened the envelope. Inside there was one sheet of paper and he began to read it aloud.

_My darling Rae,_

_I am sorry that I haven't been in contact for a while, but I knew that you were back at work when I saw your picture in the paper this week at a murder scene. _

_I will be coming for a visit real soon; my stay here isn't going to be as long as we thought it would be. Make sure that you are ready and waiting for me with open arms, just like you were the last time we were together. I know how much you enjoyed being with me at my photo shop, I could feel it._

_Take care, my darling._

_Love Phil_

Steve put the page back down on the table, and went into the kitchen to get a food bag to slide it into.  Mark looked across at the words. He had a feeling that the letter hadn't been written by Levington. Mail was checked before it left the prison, and this would not have been let through.

"Steve, somebody else wrote this. It maybe Levington's words, but it's not his handwriting."

"Yeah, I thought the same thing. We need to find out who is helping him. I guess we can't stop him getting the papers, so every time Rae is in there he gets another picture or clipping to add to his warped collection. Mind you, I may be able to solve that for a while." 

Mark could almost see Steve's mind working. "How?"

"Well, we start an undercover operation tomorrow. Rae is part of it. I was worried about maybe somebody making her, but if we put a press release out saying that she has gone to a conference for a week to, oh, I don't know, Miami, New York, even London, then it will take the heat off her on the dock. Even if it doesn't, at least Levington will leave her alone for a while, and I can work out what to do about it. She still has no idea about this."

"Yeah, I don't think it would be a good thing for her to find out he is still writing to her. She has just got her confidence and her life back, this could be disastrous."

Rae waited all evening for Jesse to come home, before she remembered that he was working through. She sighed and headed for the bedroom. As she passed the mirror she looked in it once again. _What do I do with all this hair while I am asleep?_ She picked up the hairbrush she had bought at the hairdressers and began to gently pull it through her hair. Once that was done she headed for the shower room. The feeling of wet hair on her back was a novel one, she wasn't sure if she liked it or not. Once she had dried herself and slipped her bathrobe on she began to think about what to do with her hair. She towel dried it and then she split it into two sections and began to braid each one. Once she had finished, she began to laugh. She looked like Heidi.

Five minutes later Rae was lying in bed, and now that she had nothing to occupy herself she let her mind wander back to the early evening. She was glad that she had explained to Steve about her mood over the last two days. But as for kissing him, she couldn't believe they had done that. She had no idea how she was going to tell Jesse about it, but she knew she had to. Slowly her eyes began to close and she forgot all her problems.

By four o'clock the next afternoon Cheryl and Rae were sitting in a refreshment van on the docks. They had made more cups of coffee than either of them thought possible in the two hours they had been there, and had been working continually since they had opened. But now it was quiet for a while and they were out in front of their van relaxing in the sunshine. Rae took a breath and began to talk.

"I owe you an apology. My behaviour was out of line. I'm sorry, Cheryl." Rae held her hand out to the woman sitting on the stool next to her, and was concerned when she stood up without taking it.

"Come here, you're my friend, I feel I know you very well." She held her arms out and she and Rae hugged briefly. "I need to apologise too. I took over when I came into the station. That wasn't fair. Maybe we need to start again."

"Ok. Let's just forget it and enjoy being together. Tell me, how is everybody back at the Yard?"

"Fine, your old boss 'Call me James, Detective,' sends his love." Cheryl smiled at the memory. "You know I would never call Newman by his first name!"

Rae smiled, James had been a very nice guy, and Cheryl was right about the Captain. "I don't think I even know Newman's Christian name."

"Maybe he doesn't have one. Oh, he also sent this." Cheryl reached into her pocket and took out an envelope. "He said you would remember it. I have no idea what it is."

Rae sat and thought for a minute. Cheryl could tell when she did remember. "Oh, yeah. He wrote something on a piece of paper, he wouldn't tell me what it was. Then he put it in the envelope, sealed it and had me sign across the seal. I guess I can open it now, huh?"

Rae began to slit the envelope with her finger. Inside was a sheet of paper with one line of writing on it. It said _you won't want to come back._ Rae smiled. "I guess he knew me better than I thought." Rae handed it to Cheryl. "Were you tempted to stay, in London I mean?"

"Some times. The pace of life is slower there. The types of crime are different. But no, I guess I have got so used to living and working here that I would have needed more than twelve months to change my opinion completely. I had a wonderful time, and saw some great places, but no, I'm glad to be home."

Steve began to make his rounds just after six o'clock. He felt as if he should be swinging his torch around in his hand. The uniform felt stiff and uncomfortable, as for the hat, well, he just couldn't wait to see Cheryl and Rae, who would no doubt have a lot to say about it.

Rae and Cheryl were just debating whether or not to close up and go home without seeing either Martin or Steve when they saw a security guard come around the corner and begin to walk towards them. Rae put the water heater back on, and began to make him a coffee. Then she and Cheryl both came out of the van and stood watching him.

"You know I just love a man in uniform." Cheryl had a grin on her face. 

"Yeah, but somehow the hat makes all the difference. You know a man is serious about his work if he is prepared to wear a cap!" Rae was grinning too. It was nice to have somebody else with her to rib her partner.

"Good evening, ladies. I'm glad to see you are still open. I'll have a coffee, white, two sugars."

"Of course, you can tell he's new on the job when his shirt still has the creases from where it was folded up in the packet." Rae laughed then and walked up to him. "Aren't you working until six tomorrow morning? Maybe black would be better, wouldn't want you nodding off, now would we?"

Steve smiled but then he turned serious. "Have you seen Martin today?"

Rae shook her head. "Nope, but I didn't expect to. I got a message on my phone saying he was being inducted today. I don't think he will be here until tomorrow. There is a guy in there, but he hasn't come to get a drink or anything to eat."

"Food, you're doing food?" Steve looked amazed.

"No, just candy bars and potato chips. It's bad enough that I have to serve in your restaurant, without cooking for you too!"

"He makes you serve? I never served." Cheryl came out with Steve's drink.

"I made the big mistake of offering the first time I went in there. Now I have to work for my supper. But I found a way round it."

"Oh, yeah, how's that?"

"I eat take out!" Rae laughed then and headed back towards the inside of the van.

Steve looked at Cheryl. "You two seem happier together."

"Yeah, she apologised to me before I even had the chance to say anything to her. She's nice; I think we can be good friends. At least I hope so." Cheryl smiled and looked round as Rae came back. 

"We are shutting up shop now. See you tomorrow. Mr." She stopped talking and peered at his nametag. "Mr. Rogers."

Rae and Steve both jumped as Cheryl burst out laughing.

"What?" Steve asked.

"Mr. _Rogers?_ You're Mr. _Rogers?_"

"I still don't get it." Steve was looking more confused by the second.

"Neither do I," Rae added. "I guess it must be an American thing, huh?"

"Well, I'm missing the point too." Steve looked over at Cheryl and visibly paled as she began to sing.

"It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day for a neighbor…"

"Oh, no. I never thought of that. They only ran that show back east when I was a kid."

Cheryl continued laughing. "My nephew just loves him, but Steve, in that uniform, you look more like Mr. McFeeley."

"You have a character called Mr. McFeeley! You know, that would have never got past the censors in England!" 

"It was a long time ago, when it started here. Steve said he was a kid remember?" Cheryl was laughing too. "It would have been in the days of black and white TV, and bobby socks."

Rae had to turn away as laughter overtook her.

Steve just groaned and rolled his eyes. "Ok, you've had your fun. See you ladies, tomorrow around…?"

"Any time… after six I… guess." Rae was having difficulty breathing let alone talking.

Steve gave them both a mock salute and carried on up the dock. Rae and Cheryl got into the van and as Cheryl began to fill her in on the Mr. Rogers phenomenon they drove away.

The routine didn't vary for the next week. Martin began work at four the evening after Steve, and would come and get a coffee every hour or so, just so that he had somebody to talk to. Rae and Cheryl got into the routine of packing up for the night after they had talked to Steve each evening, normally about seven thirty or eight. But after seven days they were all getting frustrated and bored.

Rae headed home on the eighth night of their investigation and felt relieved that Jesse's car wasn't in the parking lot. She hadn't seen him since the night he had given her the wonderful massage. They had spoken on the phone, but that was all. He had been home a couple of times when she was, but she still hadn't worked out how to tell him about Steve so she had been avoiding him. She dragged herself up the steps and into her apartment. She flopped onto the sofa for a cuddle with Kira, and then she went into the bedroom and got ready for a shower. As she came out of the bedroom dressed in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt that Cheryl had brought her back from London which said _I'm not a tourist I live here_ on it she picked up her magazine from beside the bed and then curled up with it on the sofa. She must have been reading there quietly for just over half an hour when there was a knock on her door. She looked through her peephole sighed and then opened the door.

"Rae?"

"Hi, sweetheart. You look like you've seen a ghost. Come in." Rae looked at him. Jesse was standing there with his mouth open. She gently placed her finger under his chin and pushed it shut.

Jesse came into the room and put his hands up and touched the hair that was loose over Rae's shoulders. "Wow. This is wonderful. You look so different." He looked up. "And your eyes. No, no I don't like them. Take them out." He looked away for a second.

Rae smiled at him. She had forgotten for a moment that he hadn't seen her since her transformation. "Ok, hold on, it doesn't take long." She went into the bedroom, and true to her word came back just about a minute later, her eyes brown once again.

"That's better. The hair I can cope with, but not the eyes. Now come here, it's been a long time since I kissed anyone with long hair." He smiled wickedly at her and pulled her towards him. Rae surrendered herself to him and felt his fingers pulling at her hair as they began to kiss. She had missed him so much, she moved her hands into his hair and they kissed passionately. Suddenly the ringing of Rae's cell phone broke the moment.

"Hi, Susan here…"

"Susan!" Jesse looked at her, a confused look on his face.

"Steve, are you all right, I can hardly hear you…Ok, I'll get on to Cheryl, we'll make sure we get there for first thing in the morning, before you go off duty. Is that all right…? Ok, bye."

"Susan, why are you going round with long blonde hair calling yourself Susan? Rae what is going on here?" Jesse was almost shouting and Rae looked shocked.

"What? Susan is my middle name I am using it on the docks. I have to use it on the phone in case somebody is listening. Why is there a problem?"

"No, no. I'm sorry. I used to go out with a blonde named Susan is all."

"Oh, look I have to call Cheryl. I won't be a minute."

"Rae, I am so tired I can hardly stand up. I'll see you tomorrow maybe, ok?"

Rae tried to hide her disappointment. She knew that she had been avoiding him but once he was with her she had been looking forward to spending the rest of the night with him, and she had just decided to talk to him about Steve. But she guessed it could wait. "Yeah, tomorrow." She kissed him gently on the lips. "Go get some sleep. I'll still be here tomorrow."

By four the next morning, a very sleepy Rae and an annoyingly bright Cheryl were sat in their van waiting for Martin to come off duty, and Steve to walk by. "So what was it that Steve said again, when he spoke to you?"

"If you could yawn a couple of times, and maybe look a little sleepy I will tell you."

Cheryl pretended to yawn then she smiled. "Now what was it that he said?"

"Just that he had been approached by a guy last night, who had asked him if he was the new security guard, and that he needed to speak with him before the end of his shift. So he had arranged to talk with him at five this morning, and then he was going to come and get a drink."

As Cheryl went to reply they both saw Martin walk out of the warehouse and do a double take at the sight of the van. He came across to them. "Good morning, ladies, what are you doing here so early? Has something happened?"

"Yes, Steve has been approached, so I would watch out, because it will probably be your turn next." Cheryl looked at her new partner. He suddenly seemed very young, and she was concerned for him.

"Well, apart from you two I haven't seen a living soul all night. I would go nuts if this was my real job. I have read three books and five magazines so far, and I've only been here a week."

"Well, I suggest you go get some sleep, and keep your eyes peeled tonight, ok?" This time it was Rae who was suddenly concerned for him, she put her hand on his arm as she spoke. Martin smiled at her; blushed a little and then he turned and walked away.  

"I think my partner has feelings for you, Rae." Cheryl smiled, and was surprised to see Rae look extremely guilty.

"What, sorry, what did you say?"

"Martin, I think he has feelings for you. You know you could do a lot worse, he seems like a nice guy."

Rae recovered herself. "I think he is a little young for me, besides, I already have a really nice guy of my own."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to offend. Who is your really nice guy then?"

"Jesse, I thought you saw us together the other night when Jenkins was killed." 

"Yeah, I did, but I just assumed he had tagged along, he does have that reputation. So, I want details, girl, how long have you and Jesse been together?"

"Since the first week I got here. I don't think I would still be sane if it weren't for him. He saved my life when Leticia Howard tried to kill me, and well, I don't even want to think what happened to him when I was being stalked." Rae stopped talking. Some time soon she had to talk to him about Steve, otherwise he would start to realise that she had been avoiding him.

Rae and Cheryl sat in the van with the heater running waiting for Steve. By six fifteen they were beginning to get worried. At six-thirty there was a knock on the side of the van and they both nearly jumped out of their skins. Rae looked out of the window, her hand on the glove box where she kept her gun, in case it wasn't Steve.

"Hey, where's my coffee!" 

Rae breathed a sigh of relief and opened the door to the van and stepped outside. "Where have you been? I hate to admit it but I was getting worried." 

"I had to make sure that my visitors had gone before I came over here. I have been sitting watching the water for ages."

"And?" Cheryl looked at him. "Did you find out anything?"

"Yeah, it's wet and there's a lot of it."

"Oh, funny man, you know what we mean!" Rae punched him on the arm as she spoke, and stuck her tongue out.

Steve smiled at her for a second and then was business like again. "Look we need to meet somewhere else so that we can talk. I'll see you at Community General in about an hour. I'll call Martin and we can discuss it there. Ok?"

Both women nodded and then without another word Steve turned and walked away. Rae climbed in the driver's seat and Cheryl got back in the passenger side, then they drove off, Rae resisted the temptation to beep her horn as she passed her partner, and they headed off towards the lot where they kept their van.

Mark wandered down the hallway from the ER towards the doctor's lounge. He was in desperate need of a coffee and a sit down. He opened the door and did a double take. He backed up, looked up the hallway to the left and then to the right, then he came back in.

"Dad? Are you all right?" Steve looked concerned.

"You know I was sure I worked in a hospital, and that this was a doctor's lounge, but I must be wrong. I'm in the squad room at North Hollywood Precinct. Sorry, I'll just leave now!"

Rae stood up and came over to her friend and began to laugh. "We could do with an impartial set of ears and eyes, Mark. Please come and sit down. I'll even make you a drink."

"Rae, is that you?" Mark looked at her. 

"It sure is, do you like it?" She saw Mark nod as she moved over and poured him a coffee. As she sat back down the door opened once again and Jesse put his head round the door.

"Wow, a police convention."

"Come in, Jesse, and shut the door." Steve didn't sound quite so welcoming this time. He didn't look at Jesse, but over at Rae, who refused to make eye contact with either of them. Mark watched this and resolved to speak to his son later.

Steve stood up. "Ok, now I will try to make this brief. They sure didn't."

"Who didn't?" It was Jesse who spoke.

"Just listen, I will explain, ok?" Jesse nodded and was disappointed when Steve continued without acknowledging him. "I was approached last night by two guys who wanted to know if I was the new permanent security guard for our part of the dock. I said I was and they said that they had some business that they wanted to discuss with me. I played the idiot." He looked at Rae, "Don't say a word! And pretended that I had no idea what they were talking about. But I agreed to meet with them at five."

"So do you have any idea who they were? Could you describe them, so I'll know them if I'm approached." Martin looked at Steve. So far this assignment had been boring in the extreme, he was glad things were moving.

"It was dark and no I couldn't really describe them, but I know they were both either the same height as me or taller, but that's about it. Anyway at five, almost to the second they just turned up behind me. I didn't hear them coming, and they walked me over to a really deserted part of the dock."

"You should have been wired, Steve, anything could have happened." Rae looked worried. But Steve shook his head.

"Nope, they would have spotted it. Let's say they weren't very gentle in finding out whether I was armed."

"You are a security guard for goodness sake, of course you were armed." Rae looked disgusted. It sounded like they had knocked him about for fun.

"Yeah, but I think they wanted to get a message across, I dread to think what would have happened if they had found a wire. Anyway, as I was saying. They just arrived, and told me that if I wanted to continue working then I should turn a blind eye to the goings on in certain warehouses. They would tell me which warehouse at which time. They also told me that if I did this, it would be made worth my while. As they left one of them pinned me to the wall and said that if on the other hand I didn't agree or told anybody what had just gone down, it would be extremely stupid and I was obviously not planning to live very long."

Mark looked in horror at his son, and then realised that Martin, Cheryl and Rae were all smiling at him. "What, you think that is good? I don't like this, Steve, they threatened your life!"

"I know, Dad, that is what we wanted. There is something going on, something big if they are prepared to carry on threatening people. Martin, you need to be on your guard. I don't think it will be that long before they get to you. It must be the turn of your warehouse soon, or the other guy wouldn't have been killed. We need to decide how we are gonna react to this."

Martin looked at Steve; he didn't seem at all concerned that he had been threatened. He wondered if he would be able to react the same way himself when the time came. "Ok, I can get to Rae or Cheryl easier than you. If they contact me I'll let them know."

Rae stood up. "Ok, guys, I have been thinking about this, and Mark, I know you are gonna hate this, but let me finish, before you say anything. I think that Martin should agree to whatever these guys say; he will turn a blind eye, and let things happen. Steve, I think you should turn them down. We need to see what happens both ways, and I don't think a security guard would be as easy to bribe as a night watchman."

Steve had been nodding while Rae had been talking. "Yeah, I agree. Not only that, but as this is Martin's first go at undercover work. I don't want him in any more danger than is absolutely necessary."

Mark had been waiting to speak and now he burst in before anybody else could do so. "You need some sort of back up, Steve, the girls go home over night, that can't be, you need them there. Can't they do a night run on the van?"

This time it was Cheryl who spoke. "I guess we could. There must be night watchmen all over the docks. Maybe we could do a mobile van, but make sure we are central to Steve and Martin's bit."

They chatted for a while longer, but the plan had almost made itself. Steve and Martin went to get some sleep and Cheryl to make sure that they could actually use the van overnight in the docks. After Mark had returned to the ER Rae and Jesse found themselves alone.

"Hey, blondie, are you ok?" Jesse looked at her with a worried expression. She hadn't spoken to him and had sat at the other end of the sofa. Something wasn't right.

"Yeah, I'm ok." She took a deep breath. "Jess, what time do you finish?"

"Now, I've been on all night. I only came in to get a drink, then I was going home, that was about two hours ago. What's wrong, Rae?"

"Can we go home then? I need to talk to you, and you aren't gonna like what I have to say."

Jesse couldn't get her to say anything else, so he walked out with her to their cars and they drove home, Rae in front with Jesse looking at the back of Tom all the way.

Rae didn't wait for Jesse when she got to the parking lot, but went up to her apartment straight away. She went into the bedroom, and took her contact lenses out. Then she brushed out the braids that she had put in her hair, brushed it again and tied it up loosely to keep it out of the way, then she went to put the kettle on. By the time she had done that Jesse was knocking at her door. She opened it, and still without speaking she let him in.

Jesse had watched Rae walk into the building, and he had stayed in his car for a moment trying to gather his thoughts. Something had happened, Rae had been avoiding him, he knew that, and Steve wouldn't make eye contact with him. His heart sank. He had always known that there could be an attraction between the two of them, now he had a feeling that it was more than a possibility, it was a fact.

He sat down on the sofa and watched as Rae made them each a drink. Kira jumped up on his lap and he absent-mindedly scratched behind her ears. The purring began instantly, and in spite of himself he smiled.

Rae came and sat down on the chair opposite him. "I have to talk to you, Jess, I don't know what you are gonna say, or how you are gonna react but I have to tell you something." She waited, but Jesse said nothing. "The day that I got my hair done, about a week and a half ago, Steve came back here for a take out, so that we could discuss my behaviour since Cheryl had arrived." Rae stopped again. She had no idea how to go about this, but she knew that if she didn't say anything their relationship would be over. "I got angry, so did Steve, but we sorted things out. Then, then something happened. He kissed me, Jess. I mean really kissed me."

"Oh. And did you kiss him?"

Rae just nodded. She wanted him to speak, to ask her something, anything, to make it easier, but he sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity. Then finally to her relief he began to talk. "So, what are you telling me this for, Rae, because you want to break up with me, is that it?"

"No, oh God, no, Jesse, I love you. I'm sorry." She stood up and moved over towards the window. She felt so guilty and in the wrong. She began to speak again. "He kissed me, and it was good. I liked the feelings that it gave me. When he stopped and pulled away, I asked him if he enjoyed it and he said yes. Then I asked him if he wanted to do it some more, and he said yes again. So I kissed him. But it wasn't right. The second time, it wasn't right. When he pulled away from me that time, we both knew that it was something that we had to have done, but that was as far as it was ever going to go."  She came back and picked up her cup and took a long drink from it. "I don't want to be with Steve, oh, I want to work with him, I don't want to be partner with anybody else, but I want to be with you, Jess. It's you I need beside me, in my bed, by my side. I just hope I haven't blown it." 

Jesse's mind was in turmoil. He wasn't sure what he'd expected Rae to say, but he still couldn't quite grasp what she had told him. He stood up and headed for the door. "I will talk to you later." He opened it and was gone. Rae stood and looked at the back of the door for a long time.

Jesse walked back to his apartment, went in and sat down on the sofa. His mind was still in a whirl, but one thing he understood perfectly, the woman he loved had cheated on him with his best friend. He stood up, grabbed his car keys off the side and headed down to the parking lot.

Rae heard Jesse's door slam and she waited to see if he was coming to her. But when there was no knock she moved over to the window. Maybe he was going for a run; that was what she did when she needed time to think. She saw him move across the parking lot and get into his car. She moved back into the room as she heard her phone ring. She had no idea where he was going; she just hoped that he wasn't too angry or upset to drive safely.

Steve had finished his dinner, and was still sitting at the table reading the daily paper when he heard the doorbell. Sighing to himself he got up. He didn't often get the house to himself, and he had been enjoying the solitude. He walked out into the front hallway, saw Jesse through the glass, and opened the door. 

"Steve, I want to talk to you, right now. I can either do it on the doorstep or we can go inside." Jesse's words were loud and strong, and as he barged in he roughly pushed Steve back into the house. Steve was so shocked that for a few seconds he backed away, both from the door and the venom in his friend's voice. Then he planted his feet firmly on the floor, put his hands up and over Jesse's wrists and pushed him gently aside. Jesse didn't even blink; he walked further into the house and up the stairs. Not quite knowing what else to do Steve shut the door and followed him in.

"Jesse, is there something I can do for you?" Steve was tired and not really thinking straight, or he would have realised why his friend was there.

"Yeah, you can tell me why you kissed my girlfriend!" Jesse had walked out onto the deck; he was leaning on the rail as he shouted at Steve, and his words were flung out at his friend. He had heard Rae's explanation and he knew he should let Steve talk too, but his first instinct was to fly off the handle at him again.

Steve sat down in a chair by the table. He could see that Jesse's hands were in tight fists. "I don't know, Jess. It just happened. One minute we were talking, trying to sort out Rae's feelings since Cheryl had returned and the next…" His voice just faded away.

"It just happened? How could you let it just happen, Steve? You kissed my girlfriend. You know how I feel about Rae, how much I love her, I can't imagine life without her. Were you trying to split us up? Do you want to be with her?" Jesse tried to keep his voice down, but he could feel himself getting more and more angry.

"No, Jess, I don't. I kissed her because, because she was there right up close to me, she wasn't even looking at me, she was looking down and I just did it, I turned her face up and ...God, Jesse, I'm sorry." Steve stood up suddenly, and moved across the deck. He reached the end of it and turned back round. He looked at the face of his best friend. He couldn't really put into words why he and Rae had kissed, and if he was honest he hadn't given a thought to anybody but himself at that moment, but now as he saw the pain in Jesse's eyes, he knew that it was quite possibly one of the biggest mistakes he had ever made, and one he didn't know if they could recover from. He took a deep breath, and, determined to try to save the friendship, he began to talk again. "I knew it was wrong, Jess, we both did, and straight away she said that she would tell you. She also said that although she loves me, it isn't the same way she loves you."

Jesse looked up intently as Steve spoke. "What did she say about me? Tell me, Steve." His voice was softer now, and Steve could hear the desperation in it.

Steve frowned, trying to remember exactly what she had said. "She said that it was you that she wanted beside her in her life. She loves you, Jess, really loves you, and I know that I was wrong to do what I did." Steve turned away from his friend and moved over towards the steps.

Jesse felt his anger dissipate and he ran his fingers through his hair. "Steve?" Jesse had nothing else to say. "Steve, I'm sorry."

Steve turned then and stared at him. He felt all his guilt, and the love for his friend well up inside him. "You have nothing to apologise for. I was way out of line, Jesse. You're right, she is your girlfriend, but more than that, you're my best friend, and I betrayed you. It's me who should be apologising." He held his hand out to Jesse, and was dismayed when Jesse didn't take it.

"I'm sorry that I barged into your home, Steve, I had no right to do that. I've heard your side of the story as well as Rae's. I need to sleep on this. But thank you for being honest with me." He moved in towards the house. "I will see myself out."


	4. Chapter 4 Trouble In The Neighbourhood

Trouble in the Neighbourhood 

Cheryl had put a call into Rae just after Jesse left to let her know that there was no reason she could see which would stop them from working over night in the docks. Rae hadn't been sure if she was happy or sad about it.

"I cannot believe I am driving around the docks at two in the morning hoping that somebody wants a cup of coffee. I never had to do this in London."

"Hey, you were the one who wanted to come home. You could still be in London doing exciting things like watching the trooping of the colour, or wandering around the Tower of London. Or standing about in the rain for hours on end. Did you do those things?"

"Yeah, I did actually. I went up on the London Eye, and watched the view, which was wonderful; I went to Stratford upon Avon and the New Globe theatre on the Thames. Great. I had a great time, but I got wet, a lot!  And now I am sitting in a refreshment truck driving around the docks of LA in the dead of night, and you know what?"

"You love it?" Rae smiled at her.

"I LOVE IT!" Cheryl smiled back and then they both began to laugh. As they drove the seeds of a strong and lasting friendship were sown, and by the time they got to the place where they parked near Martin's warehouse, neither of them minded being out in the middle of the night.

It was half past three before they saw Martin. He walked over for a coffee, and left a piece of paper on the counter. Rae picked it up and moved into the body of the van. She unfolded it and then nodded in his direction. He picked up his drink and a candy bar and headed back to his warehouse.

"What did the note say?" Cheryl looked over at Rae. She handed it to her and Cheryl began to read. _The guys made contact with me at eleven last night. They came back at three. They were only with me for ten minutes. I said I was in. I had no problem with what they wanted me to do. I hope I didn't agree too quickly. Martin. _"I think he did the right thing. I think you would only want time to think about it if you were gonna say no." 

"Yeah, I suppose so. I wonder how Steve will get on. He's supposed to be meeting with these guys at four." Rae looked worried. There was nothing she could do, but suddenly she was very concerned.

Steve walked slowly down a dimly lit part of the docks. It was the bit of his round that he hated the most. There was no other way to go, but he really wished that there was some extra lighting, just on this part of his journey. Suddenly one of the men from the previous night was standing in front of him.

 "Well, Mr. Rogers, how nice to see you again. I seem to recall you had a decision to make."

Steve turned slightly and wasn't surprised to see another man standing behind him.

"Mr. Rogers, and how is it in your neighborhood tonight?"

"Same as every night." Steve watched keenly as the two men began to move closer.

"So, have you made your decision? Your time is up now."

"I'm not interested in what you said." Steve moved over to the left to try to walk pastone of the shadowy figures standing by him. His path was immediately blocked. He turned slightly and saw that he had no place left to go. Steve felt his heart begin to pound, as he realised that he had no way to let anybody know that he was in trouble. He had just got his thoughts processed when he felt a fist hit him in the lower back and he fell to his knees. He struggled to his feet trying to keep his eyes on both of his assailants, but he knew he was beaten before he even started to fight back. He felt his fist make contact with the side of one of the men's faces, but then he doubled over as he received a blow to the stomach. One of the men chopped him on the back of the neck and he fell to the ground, and began to concentrate on protecting himself from the blows that began to rain in on his body. 

Suddenly he felt himself being lifted off the floor by the front of his jacket. "Mr. Rogers, you made the wrong decision. I would suggest that you reconsider, or otherwise, by the time you get back on the job you will need very good life insurance." With that the man let Steve fall to the ground, he felt agonising pain and then he saw a boot coming towards the side of his head.

"What time did you say Steve's meeting was?" Cheryl looked over at her friend and could see that Rae was as worried as she was.

"Four. And it's now what, just after five? He should have been here by now. I don't like this, I'm gonna take a little walk and see what I can find." Rae leant over and took her gun from the glove compartment and slid it into the back of her jeans.

"Keep in contact. Try not to blow your cover, but if necessary Steve comes first. But I guess you know that!" Cheryl handed a radio over to Rae and watched as she got out of the van.

Rae took the piece of paper out of her pocket that had the details of Steve's route on it and began to walk quickly along it. She had been walking for just about ten minutes when she came to a dark and isolated alleyway. Rae pulled a flashlight from her pocket and shone it in front of her. She switched her radio to the on position and began to move slowly forward.

Cheryl was finding it very difficult to keep still. She knew she couldn't go and get Martin, because it was imperative that he keep his cover, he was the key to this whole operation as far as she was concerned. She had just wiped down the counter for the third time when she heard her radio crackle into life. Through the static Rae's footsteps could be heard as she moved quickly along. They began to get faster and then Cheryl heard her speak.

"Oh, my God, Steve! Steve, can you hear me? Cheryl, call 911, now!" Cheryl heard a thud as the radio hit the ground, and then silence.

Jesse walked into the doctor's lounge and made himself a black coffee, he needed time to think but he hadn't stopped since he had got to work at ten the previous night. After he had left Steve he had gone straight home to bed. And even though sleep had eluded him for a while he had slowly dozed off and then slept right through until his alarm woke him. 

It had been extremely busy since he arrived but now he had a break and he needed some time to himself. He had been deeply hurt by what they had both told him, Steve was his best friend, and Rae was the woman he had asked to marry him, but surprisingly he had believed her when she had said that she didn't love Steve like she loved him. He knew that both Rae and Steve were honourable people, but they had been pushed together in some very extreme circumstances over the last year. He hadn't helped either; he had abandoned Rae when she had really needed him.

He sat down and ran his fingers through his hair. _I'm even imitating her now!_ He loved her, he knew that she loved him, and if he wanted to keep her by his side, which he did, then he was going to have to trust her that this was a freak occurrence and let it go. He felt much better for deciding this, and drained his coffee ready to return to work. As he ran the mug under the water to rinse it he heard his name and Alex's as they were called to the ER.

Rae rushed into the ER, following Steve's gurney. She couldn't take her eyes off her partner's battered and bloodied face. He had been unconscious when she had found him but he had come too, briefly, as she had held him close to her, talking to him, while she waited for the ambulance.

"Rae, what happened? Steve! Can you hear me, buddy?" Jesse looked down in horror at his friend. Somebody had really worked him over.

"He told the guys at the docks that he wasn't going to take bribes, that's what happened. Jesse, where's Mark?" Rae looked absolutely worn out and more worried than he could ever remember.

"At home." Jesse began to wheel Steve into a trauma suite.

Rae sat down on a chair in the hallway and watched as Alex came rushing up the hallway. She pointed towards trauma two and saw Alex stare at her before going in. She realised belatedly that he probably didn't even recognise her. Rae put a call through to Mark and then sat, her mind racing as she waited for news.

Mark had been dozing when the phone rang. He had just turned over for a few more minutes in the warm bed before he started an early shift and his mind wasn't really focused as he answered it. However, it had been brought sharply back to reality as he heard Rae's voice at the other end telling him that Steve had been attacked while he was on his stake out. She couldn't tell him how bad it was, but she did say that he had been unconscious for almost the entire time since she had found him.

He leapt out of bed and fumbled about trying to find some clothes quickly so that he wasted no time in getting to his son's side. Mark ran to his car, and headed out into the morning traffic. He switched on the radio, so that he could hear of any hold ups on the road and pushed his car to the speed limit for the whole journey.

The whole time he was driving along he kept thinking of all the times that Steve had been rushed into the hospital. He would never forget the time that Gordon Ganza had put a contract on Steve's life, or how lucky he had been when two crooks after Carol's husband had run him down with their car. He had no idea how serious it was this time, apart from the fact that it sounded like he had a concussion, and Rae had been worried, he could tell, and that worried him.

Rae shifted in her uncomfortable seat and her mind went back to when she had seen Steve lying in the alleyway. After she had shouted her instructions to Cheryl she had knelt by her partner's side and gently moved his head up out of the blood it was resting in. His face had been so badly beaten that she had had to fight back the nausea she felt as she had gently let the beam from her flashlight sweep over him. She had begun talking to him about anything and everything that came into her head. If somebody asked her now she would have no idea what she had said, but she just knew that she had to keep talking.

When the paramedics had arrived she had moved out of their way, and let them work. Steve had opened his eyes and looked at her while they sat in the dark. She had tried to get him to stay with her, but he had drifted back into unconsciousness almost immediately. The two men who began to treat him had supported his neck and spine and transferred him gently to a gurney. She supposed it was the same way she had been treated when she had been attacked, and she was relieved to see how tenderly they had dealt with him.

She was brought out of her meanderings by the ping of the elevator as the doors opened and Mark rushed out. 

"Rae, honey, where is he, what happened?" Mark looked extremely agitated as he moved towards her; he had obviously rushed to the hospital. In spite of the situation she smiled at him. He was still wearing his slippers. He looked at her and could see blood on her clothes. "Are you all right?"

"What?" Rae looked down to where she could see Mark looking at her. "Yeah, I'm fine." She didn't want to say that it was Steve's blood all over her jeans. "We'll go to the doctor's lounge, and I'll tell you, ok? Jesse'll know where to come."

Rae handed Mark a coffee and then she sat down at the table and looked across at him. "He was attacked, Mark, on the docks. He told them he wasn't taking bribes tonight, I guess this was their answer."

"I told him to be careful!" Mark put his mug down heavily on the table and the coffee spilt out over the surface. He didn't seem to notice what he had done and just carried on talking. "He was alone, Rae, it wasn't safe. I told you I didn't think it was safe, but did you listen? No." 

Rae put her hand over his and he stopped speaking. "Mark, I am so sorry about this, but you know he wouldn't have changed the way we were working this operation. It had to be done this way. There has to be something big going down on that dock, all the time, for them to be this concerned about getting people on their side."

Mark said nothing and the room became silent as they waited for Jesse. Rae dried the table and then put in a call to Cheryl and told her what had happened so far, Cheryl said that she would finish up and take the van back. Martin was going to get in touch with her later in the day.

Rae and Mark sat together in the doctor's lounge. Rae checked her watch it was just before seven in the morning. As she looked out through the blinds, she could see the hospital begin to come alive. The hallways, which had been deserted when she had first come in, now had people in them. She could see a janitor mopping the floor just in front of the elevator, his orange cones marking out his territory. 

Where there had been silence, now the ring of a phone, or the call of an orderly or nurse occasionally broke the air. Rae leant in towards Mark and smiled a slow smile at him and he took her hand in his. He looked round and she saw him sniff the air. "I guess Steve will miss breakfast this morning."

"Mark, I don't know what to say."

"Wait until Jesse comes, Sweetie, once we find out how he is, then we'll know what to say to each other." 

Rae just nodded and they descended back into silence. 

It was almost two hours before Jesse came in to speak with Mark. Rae got up and went to leave the room, but Mark spoke up. "Rae, no, Sweetie, you stay, you need to hear this too."

She moved over to him and took his hand in hers and Jesse sat back against the table. "I've admitted him, Mark, he has a concussion, two broken ribs, and severe bruising over almost all his body, he's had a CT scan which was fine." Jesse stopped talking and they both looked at him.

"What, Jess, what else?" Rae could feel the panic coming up in her throat.

"Both his hands are broken. Badly broken.  It looks to me like somebody crushed them."

"Oh, my. How could somebody do that? You were right, Mark, I shouldn't have let him work alone." Rae turned from both men. This case was just getting worse and worse.

"He's going to be very sore for a while, but he'll be all right with rest, and his hands will heal."

"Is he conscious, Jess?" Mark's voice was full of concern.

"He was, but I think he'll be asleep by the time you get there. Now I guess you want to go up and see him, huh?"

They both nodded. But then Rae put her hand on Mark's arm. "You go up, I need to put a call in to Texas first."

"Ok, I'll see you up there then?" He watched her nod and then Mark headed out towards the elevator.

Jo was sat out on the veranda in the mid morning sunlight writing a letter to Steve when David's butler Jonathon came out with a phone on a tray. Every time he did this she wanted to laugh. Michael was a very good butler, but he would never do that. If the phone rang he just handed her the receiver.

"Los Angeles on the telephone for you, Madam, Detective Reagan Yeager."

Jo's face split into a smile as she took the phone. "Rae, honey, how are you…? Oh my God… no, no I'll be there as soon as I can… Guess it helps to have your own plane, huh? You give him my love an' look after him until I get there, you hear…? Bye."

Jo had been walking off the veranda as she spoke and she put the phone down on a table as she raced through the house. "David, David!"

David Walters was a very tall, dark haired man. He heard his sister becoming very agitated and came rushing out into the hallway to see her checking in each room for him. "Honey, what is it? What's the matter?"

"I have to go back to Los Angeles. Somethin' has happened to Steve. He was attacked, Rae just called. David I need the jet back, please."

"Honey, it's yours, you know that, just take it, but this time, keep in touch, ok?"

She just nodded and rushed up the stairs. As she began to collect up her personal items she caught sight of a photo of her and Steve on the beach. She picked it up and put it in her purse. Twenty minutes later, she was in a car on her way to the airport. 

Mark tried not to break into a run as he made his way to Steve's room. He just needed to see him to make sure that he was all right. He gasped as he opened the door and saw his son. Steve's face was so bruised, battered and swollen that it almost didn't look like him. He could see the strapping around his chest, and the livid bruising that as Jesse had said covered almost every visible part of him.

Mark sat quietly by the side of the bed and placed his own slightly shaky hand over his Son's, the plaster feeling cool beneath his palm.

Slowly Steve opened his eyes. He was aware of somebody sitting with him, and he knew who it would be. "Dad."

"Shhh, Steve, it's ok, Son. You just sleep; your body needs to rest. I'm not going anywhere, but I guess you know that."

Mark was rewarded with a small smile, and then Steve's eyes slowly shut and he began to sleep again.

Rae slumped down on the sofa in the doctor's lounge and ran her fingers through her hair. She looked at the scars on her hand, flexed her fingers and remembered how painful it had been, and her heart went out to Steve, both his hands had been broken, she knew that he would be off work for quite a while. She wasn't sure if she wanted to be there without him.

"Rae, honey, are you alright?" Jesse looked at her, she seemed to be withdrawing from him.

"What? Oh, Jess, I'm sorry. I'm just worried about Steve. I guess the boot is on the other foot isn't it?"

"Pardon?" Jesse had no idea what she was talking about.

"Well, ever since I've been here it seems that it has been me who ends up in here. God, I shouldn't have…"

"Shouldn't have what, Rae?" Jesse felt himself go immediately on the defensive. He couldn't believe how awkward they were with each other.

"I don't know, Jesse, I don't know what I was going to say. Look I'm going to go up and see Mark, then I'm going home, I need some sleep. I'll see you soon."

Rae moved towards the door but Jesse stood in her way. "Rae, I need to talk to you."

"Not now, Jess, just not now." With that she barged her way past him and fled to the safety of the elevator. As the doors shut she considered what she had just done. She couldn't believe that she had bolted like that. She knew without a shadow of a doubt that Jesse was the man that she loved, not that she'd really had any uncertainty about it. When she had sat with Steve's head in her lap waiting for the paramedics she had been worried sick for him, but not in the same way as she had been for Jesse when Levington had abducted him. _So why didn't you just tell him, and get things back to how they should be?_

Jesse watched Rae's retreating back, and his eyes didn't leave her until the elevator doors shut and he knew that she was on her way to another floor. He went back into the doctor's lounge and flopped down on the sofa. He shut his eyes, and he saw Steve's bruised and battered body in his mind's eye. He realised that Steve's apology had been more than enough for him. As he had seen him injured once again in the line of duty, nothing other than the fact that he would do everything in his power to make his friend better, had mattered. He knew that he needed to tell him that as soon as he could.

The elevator stopped and the doors opened, Rae walked slowly down the hallway. She knew that Steve would look even more bruised now than when she had seen him last. She moved in through the door and saw Mark sitting looking off into space. Rae wondered where his thoughts were taking him, but she didn't want to pry.

"Mark, how is he?" Her voice was almost a whisper, but he turned straight away.

"He'll be ok, Sweetie, he's fast asleep now, and I guess he will stay that way for the rest of today, and through until morning."

"And you will be with him the whole time, right?" Rae smiled at him.

"Of course, he would be worried if he woke up and I wasn't here." 

Rae moved over and put her hand on her friend's shoulder. She was touched by the simple faith that the Sloans showed to each other. They had complete confidence in each other's love and actions.

"I am gonna go home now, Mark, but I'll be back in the morning."

"Rae, can I speak to you for a minute?" Mark stood up and moved towards the door and Rae knew she had no choice.

As they sat down in the hallway Rae began to speak. "Mark, I am really sorry that Steve is here, I failed …"

"Rae, honey, that is not what I want to speak to you about. But if I didn't think that you would do your utmost to keep my Son safe, I wouldn't have sent my letter to the police commission. I trust you to do your job to the best of your ability at all times, and more importantly, so does Steve."

"Mark, thank you. I hope you know I would never knowingly let him down. But if it isn't that, what is it?" She stopped a moment, as an awful thought crossed her mind. "Is there something else the matter with Steve, something that Jesse didn't tell me?"

"No, no, it's not that. I want to know what happened between Steve and Jesse. They practically ignored each other the other day, or rather Steve ignored Jesse."

Rae felt her heart fall to her feet. "I can't say, Mark, maybe Steve wouldn't want you to know, or Jesse for that matter. If you like you could ask him."

"Rae. If Steve was able to tell me I would be asking him, but he can't so I am asking you, not Jesse, you."

Rae took a deep breath and tried to sound calm and collected as she began to speak. "We had a meal together one night, about three weeks ago, and well, one thing led to another, and we kissed."

Slowly, and painfully Rae told Mark all about the meal they'd had, and how it had turned from a normal discussion into a heated argument and then into kisses that had ultimately caused the awkwardness between Steve and Jesse.

"He kissed me, Mark, and I kissed him back. When he pulled away from me I made him look at me, and I asked if he had liked it. He had, and so had I, but it was over, before it even began. It won't happen again.

"So you kissed each other, just the once, and that was it?" 

"Twice, we kissed each other twice, and yes that was it. We have worked together ever since, and we haven't done it again."

"What about Jesse, and Jo? Did you think about them?" Mark looked at Rae and waited for her answer.

"No, not right at the start, but yes, we did, and we stopped. I  love him, Mark, but not like that, I promise you."

"Have you told Jesse?"

Rae just nodded. She felt so ashamed of herself, and she had no idea how to end the conversation, or how to make things right with her friend.

"I can't tell either of you how to live your lives, or who to spend your time with, but I am surprised, at both of you. I guess you didn't plan it, but now you have to deal with the consequences. I am sure that Jo will be very hurt when Steve tells her, and he will tell her, I have no doubt of that. Jesse, well he loves you, Rae, I know you realise that. It may take time for Jesse to trust you again, but he will, speak to him, make sure he knows everything you have told me." Mark squeezed her hand and she felt nothing but relief and gratitude towards her friend." 

She began to speak but their attention was returned to the room behind them as Steve began to cough. Mark rushed in. "Steve, it's ok, Son. I'll get you some ice." He gently put two ice slivers into Steve's mouth and watched as he let them melt on his tongue.

Steve let the cold water sooth his throat, then he raised his eyes to his father's face. "Better, thanks." Steve slowly turned his head and saw Rae standing at the door. "Hey, partner." 

She walked over to his bed, and conscious of Mark watching her every move she gently kissed his forehead. "Hey, yourself. I guess you forgot to duck, huh?"

"I guess." Steve's voice was full of returning sleep as he replied.

"You rest, I'll see you tomorrow," she brushed his hair back from his face, and then she turned and left the room. 

By the time Rae left the hospital it was early afternoon. She knew she should be tired, but the last thing she wanted was sleep. She grabbed a cab and headed back to where Tom was parked. Once she was back in her own little car again she drove out towards the Japanese Gardens. She paid her entrance fee and ignoring the strange looks she got, until she remembered her jeans she looked around her. She moved away from where there appeared to be the most people and felt the worries and stresses of the day begin to leave her as she walked around the beautiful and peaceful grounds.

She found herself a bench that was isolated and empty. She sat down on it, and played her mind back over the events of the past few weeks. She knew she needed to sit down with Jesse, and talk. Maybe they could come here. She also realised that once Texas arrived, their friendship could be seriously damaged by what had happened. She shook her head. It was up to Steve to tell her, but once he had, then she would talk to her too.

By the time Rae arrived home it was early evening. She had a quick meal, then she showered and climbed into bed. As she shut her eyes she realised that she was slightly more at peace with herself. She felt Kira climb up and make herself comfy by her side, and then together they slipped off to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5 Scheming

Scheming 

It was just after four thirty before Martin had a chance to make his way across to see Cheryl and Rae. Cheryl had told him about Steve, and he needed to know how he should proceed.

"Ladies, coffee, black, please." Martin looked into the van and wasn't surprised to see that neither of the two cops felt like making their usual sarcastic comments. "How is he?"

"Not good. But he'll be ok. Martin, be careful though. They really roughed him up." Rae looked at the young officer in front of her. He had been one of the first cops apart from Steve to accept her and offer his friendship. "They broke his hands."

"Oh, God." Martin looked at her, and she could see the concern mixed with horror in his eyes.

Cheryl saw it too, and hurried to reassure him. "You've accepted their offer, Martin, so it shouldn't be a problem. But stay on your toes, ok?"

"Yeah, don't worry, I will." Martin turned as he heard a sound behind him, and Rae moved back out of sight. She wasn't sure why, but she didn't want to be seen by the man now waiting to be served.

Martin picked up his drink and moved out of the way with a nod in the newcomer's direction. Cheryl looked at the new customer. He was about six two, six three; he had short black hair, and a very strange little beard. It seemed to follow the line of his jaw, and was very thin. He looked like he worked out a lot, and Cheryl got the impression that he didn't really belong here on the dock. She smiled at him and waited.

"Coffee, black, no sugar and two candy bars, the red ones, sweetheart." The man took a ten-dollar bill out of his pocket and laid it on the counter. Cheryl picked it up and put it in the cash box. She gave him his seven dollars change and then watched as he headed over towards Martin's warehouse.

Martin was sitting just inside the door at the front of his office. He had recognised the man waiting at the concession stand and had a feeling that he was coming to see him. He stirred his coffee continuously as he listened to the footsteps getting closer and closer.

"Mr. Anderson, and how are you this evening?" The man held out his hand and Martin shook it.

"You have the advantage over me, Sir, I don't know your name."

The man looked closely at him for a moment or two, as if considering his options. Then he smiled. "Larry. Larry Griffith."

"Martin. Now I guess we are even. What can I do for you, Larry?"

"There has been a slight change of plan. We don't need you this week. We had a . . . security problem, but hopefully we will get it sorted out real soon. So we will keep you informed." 

Martin nodded. "Ok. What will I have to do, when you don't have a security problem?"

"We will let you know when the time is right. But I would suggest that you let your temp agency know just how much you love your job, and want to stay in it. It will be worth your while to do so." With that Larry held out his hand once more, and then with a wave wandered out of the warehouse and away into the darkness.

It was just after eight as Alex was walking down the hallway to pay an early morning visit with Steve that he saw a blonde haired woman walking just in front of him. She seemed to know exactly where she was going, and so he kept back. But his concern rose as he saw her turn to walk into Steve's room.

"Excuse me, Ma'am, but you can't go in there." Alex rushed forward and placed his hand on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" The woman turned to face him and smiled. "Oh, hi, Alex. How are you today?"

"I'm sorry…" Alex looked at her, her face seemed familiar. Suddenly the woman in front of him stuck her tongue out at him. "Rae? Wow, you look so different. Jesse told me you were working undercover, I guess this is for that, huh?"

"That's right. Now." Rae leant forward and picked up his tag. "Doctor Martin, may I go in and see my partner?"

"You may!" Alex felt himself blush, and he decided that he would wait until later to make his visit.

By the time Rae finished her conversation with Alex, Steve was sitting up in bed and Jesse was just finishing writing on his chart. The faces of both men lit up as she walked in the room, and she felt a blush as it rushed up her face.

"Hi, guys." She walked over to Jesse first, and kissed him tenderly on the lips. She wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do, or if he would respond, but she was delighted to feel him kiss her back. Then she turned to her partner, her smile being replaced by a worried frown as she did so.

"Steve, how are you this morning?"

"I feel as if you ran me down with your roach coach!"

"My what? A what coach?" She looked from Steve to Jesse and back again.

"That thing you drive, a roach coach." Steve moved in the bed and his face reflected his pain for an instant.

"What, Tom? Never mind, just keep still, and don't talk." She rested her hand on his arm for a minute, and her eyes took in all the bruises that were now livid on his skin. "Jess, is there anything I can do to help?"

"Well, you could give Steve his breakfast. I managed to persuade Mark to go and stretch his legs and get himself something to eat. I said I would help Steve, but I am sure he would prefer you to do it."

"Jesse." Rae went to speak to him, but he put his hand up to silence her.

"Rae, I didn't mean anything by it. If you feed him you can talk shop. We are both treading on eggshells right now. Rae, we need to talk, and I mean really talk, but you should both know that as far as I am concerned the incident is in the past."  Jesse went to move away from them both, but Steve carefully raised his right hand off the bed. Jesse saw him and briefly placed his palm against his friend's. Then he turned and left the room. 

Rae whispered to her partner. "I'll be right back." She followed Jesse until he was in the hallway, and then she placed her hand on his shoulder. He turned with a surprised look on his face. He hadn't realised that she was there.

"Rae?"

"Shhh. Thank you, Jess. We will talk, I promise you that, but I know Steve needed to hear you say that, so did I. I hope that you meant it."

"Honey, I love you, I did mean it, but now isn't the time to discuss it." Jesse went to move away again, but this time felt her hand soft on his face. He moved towards her and her lips were gentle against his. The kiss was brief, but so full of meaning that Jesse staggered back slightly as it ended.

"I'll see you later, what time do you finish?" Rae smiled as she spoke.

"At ten. I'll check to see if you are still here, ok?"

Rae just nodded and headed back into her partner.

It was just after eight-thirty before Martin left the docks. He made his way to his car feeling every muscle as he walked along. He had got into the habit of driving home and then standing in a hot shower until his body began to recover from a night in the type of cold air you only got by water. He got into the driver's seat and pulled out of the parking lot. 

As he drove along he became aware of a dark sedan pulled in one car behind him. He watched as the cars around him changed but that one always stayed constant. He had a thirty-minute drive to his apartment, and the car stayed with him the whole time. He parked and walked up to his front door. He lived on the ground floor, and so he could easily see any other vehicles that entered the parking lot.

As he shut his door behind him he saw the sedan out of the corner of his eye. It had slowed to a standstill, but by the time he reached his front window it was gone. Martin picked up the phone, and put a call through to his Captain. He needed his apartment to be listed in the name of Anderson, because he had a feeling these men would check.

Rae walked back into Steve's room and smiled at him. "Did you order your breakfast yet?"

"Yeah, but I'm not really hungry." He looked at her and tried but failed to raise a smile.

"Steve, what is it? Do you want me to go get Jesse back?"

"No, I don't know what it is. I've been attacked before, and hurt worse than this, but I just feel, I don't know, not scared exactly, but real uneasy. I didn't hear them coming, one minute I was alone, the next." He shuddered, and Rae gently laid her hand over one of his.

"You're apprehensive, that's understandable, but no one is gonna hurt you in here. You're safe now; you just have to spend time getting better. So how about something to eat, you will probably feel better for it."

"Maybe, I only asked for toast, so I should be ok with that."

"You know, I have heard a rumour that somewhere in this large city, there is a guy who actually likes the food here." She smiled at him then, and turned as a nurse came in with his breakfast on a tray.

As Rae fed her partner she watched him closely. She had a feeling that part of the problem was that for the foreseeable future Steve was helpless. He couldn't do the most basic things for himself, and she knew that he would hate that.

By the time Mark came back into the room Rae had fed Steve two pieces of toast, and was holding up a cup of coffee for him. He was taking it in slowly, so as not to choke, but he stopped as he saw his dad in the doorway.

Mark looked at the scene in front of him. It looked like a typical hospital scene of an incapacitated patient being helped by his partner. But not the type of partner that Rae was. Their situation was so complicated it was difficult to know where to begin to try to describe it. He knew his son loved Rae, and he knew that the love was returned. He had seen the odd look or touch over the months, but had said nothing. Now they had to sort things out so that they didn't ruin what they both had with very special people. He wondered how he would have interpreted the scene if he and Rae hadn't had their little talk. He pulled himself together and moved into the room.

"Hey, Mark, how are you feeling this morning?"

"Not too bad, considering I spent the night in a chair. Thank you, Sweetie, I can take over now." He came up towards the bed and Rae moved back out of the way.

"I'll go then." Rae looked over at father and son and smiled. "I'll see you later, Steve." She leant over and kissed him on his forehead, which seemed to be the least bruised part of his face.

"Ok, Rae, thank you for helping." Mark didn't look over at her, and she left the room without another word. She knew that before she had told him what had happened, the fact that he hadn't turned to her wouldn't have bothered her, but now, she had some serious bridges to re-build in order that she could feel relaxed with her friends once again.

Jo's plane had arrived at LAX without a hitch, and she had put a call through to Rae as soon as she had got into her car. Michael had met her and taken her home to change and now she was on the way to the hospital. She stopped to buy some mints on the way through the lobby and after she had enquired where Steve was she made her way to his floor.

She could hear his voice long before she saw him, and she stopped for a minute and just listened to it. She had missed the sound of it so much, but she hadn't let herself call him because she knew she would have come running back before she was ready.

"Dad, when do you think they will let me out of here?"

"Steve, you have only been in here for twenty four hours. And I have to tell you; we are so short staffed at the moment, because the nurses are staging a sickout protesting the use-it-or-lose-it vacation time clause the Board of Directors is trying to stuff down the union's throats in the contract negotiations, that I won't be able to take any leave to care for you. I think you will have to stay here for about a month, maybe longer."

"A month! Couldn't you work it between you, Jesse, Rae and Amanda? I can't stay here for a month. I'll go nuts. Dad, please there must be something we can do." 

"Well, honey, you could always let me have a go at helpin' you." Jo moved into the doorway but stopped in her tracks as she managed to stifle the gasp as she saw his bruised and battered face.

"Jo?" Steve tried to move his body towards her in the bed and she saw the pain as it lined his face.

"No, don't you move, I'll come over to you." She rushed across the room and placed a gentle soothing hand on his shoulder.

"Oh, God, Jo, I've missed you so much." 

To Jo's amazement she saw his eyes fill with tears. As she put her hand onto his face she watched Mark leave the room. She placed her lips over his, and kissed him tenderly.

"Rae phoned me, an' I just hopped on my plane an' here I am. I don't intend on goin' anywhere until you are back on your feet an' ready to return to work." 

She sat down on the chair next to the bed and ran her fingers up his forearm. Every part of his body that she could see had vivid bruises on it, the anger that she felt at his unknown assailants frightened her with its intensity. She pushed the feelings down and turned to him. "I got some mints, I thought you might like one, or do you just want to sleep?"

"No, I'll have one thanks.  I just want to lie here and look at you. I can't believe you're here." Steve was as good as his word, and for over half an hour the room was silent and he just lay and watched her. As the time passed she could see that he was far more relaxed than when she had arrived. His breathing had eased and slowly his eyes began to close. As he fought the sleep a minute longer he looked at her intently.

"You will still be here when I wake up won't you?"

"Of course, I told you I'm not goin' anywhere, now rest, that's an order, Lieutenant!"

The next week passed without incident. Rae and Cheryl saw no new people on the dock except Steve's replacement. He was a dour man in his forties, who had a black coffee with four sugars on his way off on his round and a white coffee with two sugars on his way back. He never spoke except to place his order, and they knew absolutely nothing about him.

Martin had been keeping his eyes peeled for the dark sedan, but the problem was that LA was full of them. Nobody had made any further contact with him, and he was wondering if he could die of boredom before anything happened.

It was a week to the day after Steve had been attacked that Larry Griffith came back into Martin's warehouse. He was just getting ready to leave after another long boring shift when he was aware of somebody watching him from the shadows.

"Mr. Anderson. I need a word."

"Mr. Griffith, what can I do for you?"

"There will be a shipment coming in tomorrow night. You will go for a long walk about two in the morning and when you come back, which won't be before three, you will ask no questions. Is that understood?"

"Yes, perfectly." Martin looked at him expectantly.

"There will be a packet in your desk." With that Larry Griffith turned his back and walked away. Martin considered what he had just been told. If he wasn't to stay in the area while the shipment was being made, he would have to find a way to get a look at it later. Otherwise the whole thing would have been for nothing.

He waited five minutes and then made his way over to Rae and Cheryl. "It's on. Two o'clock tomorrow morning. I have to go for a walk for an hour."

Cheryl smiled at her partner. "Well then, I guess you and I will spend some time together. Stands to reason we have gotten acquainted over the past few weeks, you can take me for a little walk in the moonlight. Maybe we might have to get back a little early, who knows. She winked at him and then handed him a coffee. "On the house, Sweetie!"

By the time Rae and Cheryl arrived the next night it was just after one. They had driven around their usual route, but were anxious to get parked up ready for the night ahead. Cheryl had a wire, and they were both armed. But once they were in position there was nothing to do but wait.

A few regular customers came and went and still nothing was happening. At one-fifty the man they now knew as Larry Griffith came for a coffee. "You know I was just down at Pier 52 and they could sure do with some refreshments there."

Cheryl tried not to look over at Rae, who had once again moved out of sight. "Thank you, maybe I'll head on down there in a little while." Cheryl turned away from the man to let him know that the conversation was over.

Just after two o'clock Martin came over to the van and Cheryl climbed out. She took his hand in her own, and making sure that she was in sight of Griffith she kissed him on the lips.

Slowly they walked away from the area and Rae was left alone. She closed the van, sat down on the floor and picked up her cell phone. She knew that Detective Chapman was in the area somewhere, and she wanted him to keep his eyes peeled.

It had already been arranged that there would be no arrests tonight. They needed to see what was happening, and find out how often each warehouse was used. This would be a trial run for whatever would happen in the future.

The dock was completely silent for just over twenty minutes. Rae had a serious case of the whim whams by the time she heard some noises. She still didn't know why she was keeping out of sight of everybody, but it just seemed the right thing to do.

It was just after three that Martin and Cheryl arrived back at the warehouse. They walked hand in hand towards the entranceway. Martin could see that there was still someone in there, so he stopped just by his office and placed his hand on the back of Cheryl's head. He gently pulled her towards him, and they put on a good show of being very much in love.

"Hey, Anderson, what the hell are you doing?" An urgent cry split the air and they turned towards the noise.

"Finishing my walk, why?" Martin faced Larry Griffith and kept a hold of Cheryl's hand. "You know Cheryl from the van."

She smiled sweetly at him, and held out her hand. "Hi, thank you so much for covering for Marty so that we could have a moonlight stroll. It was lovely."

"Yeah, whatever." Larry turned to Martin. "Well, 'Marty' I will let you get back to work. Don't forget the stuff that is in your drawer now, y'hear?"

They both watched as Griffith moved away across the dock.

"What stuff?" Cheryl looked puzzled.

"I have no idea, but I think it is payment for leaving."

Cheryl looked at Martin. "Hi, this is my girlfriend, Cheryl, or how about, I think you know Cheryl, but no, what do I get? You know Cheryl from the van! Thanks a lot!"

Martin smiled at her, opened the desk and looked inside. There was a long brown envelope, which he eased out by the edge and dropped into his jacket pocket. They walked together to the entrance of the warehouse and Martin looked over at her and in a whisper he spoke. "How am I going to get this to the station?"

Cheryl thought for a moment. "You could call in a break-in at your place, or your car. I could file a complaint for battery. You could go in to pay a parking ticket, or make a donation to the PBA, maybe you could have a noisy neighbour…"

"Ok, ok, I get the picture, there are lots of ways to do it. I guess I had better check what is in it, just in case they are watching." He turned away for a moment and Cheryl could see that he had pulled on a glove. Slowly he opened the envelope and let out a long whistle.

Cheryl looked into the envelope it was full of twenty dollar bills. Following Martin's lead she looked very excited and kissed him on the cheek. 

Ten minutes later Cheryl headed back towards the van, and tried to get in. She was surprised to find it locked. 

Rae heard the noise of the door being tried and slowly eased herself up off the floor. Her fear was mixed with embarrassment when she saw a face she recognised through the glass. She couldn't believe she had fallen asleep. She moved over and unlocked it and Cheryl climbed in.

"Ok, let's get ready to go home, the drop was made and Martin is having a look around at the moment.  When he has finished he is going to come over to talk to us."

They sat in the van and waited and watched as the sun came up.  They needed to find out how long it would be before Martin was approached again. 

It was almost five before Martin came out. He had been searching around in the warehouse for over two hours. Every few minutes he moved over to the doors to make sure nobody was watching him. He had searched around to see if the warehouse had been bugged or cameras installed. He hadn't seen anything and so he had carried on with his searching.

Cheryl opened the door and let him in. "So what happened, did you find anything?"

Martin just nodded. "The shipment was spread out around the place. I found cigarettes, some boxes that looked like they might contain drugs, and I did see them mixed in with boxes of green bananas. We don't normally get fruit."

"Did you get any pictures?" Rae looked over at the young detective. She could see that he was getting a kick out of this assignment at the moment.

"Yeah, I'll get them developed and sent into the Captain along with the money. There was one thousand dollars in the envelope." Martin smiled.

The prison cell was small and spotless. For most of the day he had nothing else to do but keep it tidy and make mental plans for his eventual release. But for now Phil Levington sat on his bunk and read the letter he had received that morning. 

He had smiled when he had seen that it began _My son,_ that meant that somewhere in the body of the letter there was information about Rae. His mother had been an ardent supporter of his love affair with his beautiful detective. She had made sure that flowers had been sent to the hospital and cards too when she had been so badly injured. He hadn't expected to receive replies to his cards or gifts; he knew that she would want to keep them a secret from her doctor friend.

After he had finished picking out the words he needed to read the hidden message, he let his mind run back over the events that had helped him form his strategy and tactics for the realisation of his plans for the future. It had started almost a month ago when his door had been opened unexpectedly. The guard who was standing there had a completely expressionless face. "Levington, you will come with me to the Warden's office."

"Yes, Sir." Phil had known that there was no point in asking why, he would get no answer. So he'd folded up his letter and slid it into his pants pocket. He smiled that day had been a day with mail too. Then with a sigh he'd followed the man out into the hallway. As he walked he went over what his mother had said. Rae had been out of town on a course, he knew that, because he had seen the article in the paper. But she should have been back now, and yet nothing had appeared since. 

His thoughts had taken him all the way to the Warden's office, and he had waited to be ushered in.

"Ah, Levington." Warden Brown had smiled at him as he entered the room. "You may sit."

"Thank you, Sir." He had cultivated the personality of a quiet, remorseful, model prisoner. It irked him, but he knew it was counter productive to be otherwise.

"It has been brought to my notice that you seem to be quite contrite about the actions that resulted in your being here." The Warden looked over the desk at the man sitting in front of him. He thought he was a good judge of character, and he had a feeling that what he was about to suggest could be the turning point for this prisoner.

"We are starting a victim awareness program here next week. It has been found to be extremely useful, and we feel that you could benefit from it."

Levington had run a hand over his face as he'd tried to contain the smile that was threatening to take over and taken a breath. "Thank you, Sir, I am sure that I will find it helpful."

"There are only limited places on this course to start with, so don't squander this chance. That is all."

"No, Sir, I won't." Phil got to his feet and turned. He'd followed the guard back to his cell, and once he was inside had let the grin escape and he'd begun to plan and plot in his mind.


	6. Chapter 6 The Best Laid Plans

The Best Laid Plans 

Steve sat in bed and tried to push the feeling of helplessness and despair away. He had been in the hospital far too long and he was about ready to jump out of the window. He had wanted to go home roughly half an hour after he had realised where he was. 

There had been a personnel crisis in the hospital for just over a week, and Mark had been working double shifts almost every day. Rae had been complaining that she hadn't seen Jesse for more than five minutes in over a fortnight, _but he always works long hours,_ and even Amanda had been helping out in the ER on a regular basis.

None of this, apart from worrying about his dad, would have bothered Steve very much if it hadn't meant that he had no one to look after him when he went home, and as much as he hated to admit it, he needed help.

He looked down at his hands. They were almost completely encased in plaster, there were just little air holes at the top of each finger, and, according to Jesse, they were taking longer than he had hoped to start to heal. He knew that he used his hands a lot, but he hadn't realised just how reliant on everybody else he would have to be, and how much he would hate it.

The x-rays had shown that not only had all the fingers been broken but also the metacarpal region of each hand. He now had pins all through his hands that would set off the alarms in any airport in the world.  Jesse had insisted that the whole hand be encased in plaster, probably, he realised, because if he hadn't he would have been trying to move his fingers already.

Jesse finally agreed to release Steve into Jo's care ten days after he had been admitted. He was still very bruised and extremely sore, although he was beginning to look a little more like he normally did, but his ribs at least were healing well. There had been no internal damage caused by the breaks and Jesse was confident now that none would occur. He was far more worried about his attitude, he had become very defensive, and no one could do anything right when they were around him. 

Jesse came into Steve's room on the evening before he was due to be released and looked at his friend. Jesse wanted to try and find out how Steve was feeling about going home, but every time the increasingly worried doctor had tried to discuss it Steve had shut him out.

"I need to tell you about what things you'll have to be aware of when you are home."

"Yeah, well, it's not the first time that I've had broken ribs, Jess, I'll cope." Steve was sitting up in bed he didn't look up at his friend as he spoke to him, his voice was flat and without expression. Jesse sighed, the defensiveness seemed to have been replaced by resignation.

 "I know, but you haven't had broken hands before, and that is going to be very restrictive for you."

"Jo will be there, and Michael will be around too. I'm sure the fact that I can't lift a finger won't matter, because I won't have to!"

Jesse managed to keep the frustration from showing on his face. "You'll need to be very careful what you do do, the damage done was extensive, and it seems to be taking a long time to heal. You'll need to come back into the hospital to be x-rayed regularly, or if you prefer I can come get you. But you will need to be checked over."

"Look, Jess, I have been injured a lot of times, I have always survived before, this is no different. I don't need a lecture from you or my dad. I will be fine."

"Steve, when the casts come off, you know that you still won't be fit for duty, don't you?" Jesse looked at his friend. He didn't want to discourage him, but he did want a reaction, any type of reaction, other than the one of resignation he was getting now would be welcome.

"I know that Jesse, and I'll deal with it when I get there. Right now I just want to get out of here in the morning, and spend some time with Jo." Steve turned away from the concerned face in front of him. He had no intention of discussing his feelings with him, because he couldn't explain them to himself yet.

"I'm talking about twelve weeks, Steve."

"Twelve weeks, what, from now?"

"No, at six weeks you can start to resume some normal activities. But if you aren't ready then I won't hesitate to keep you in plaster longer. This is serious, Steve, and you are gonna need help, but together, and you know we are always in these things together, we will get you back to work, but it will be at least a couple of months after the plaster comes off before that happens. All in all I would say we are looking at twelve to fourteen weeks."

Steve laid there, the frustration threatening to burst out of him. But once again he managed to push the feelings down. His brain was sending signals to his hands to make them into fists and he couldn't comply. In the end he had to be satisfied with lifting them into the air and letting them fall heavily onto the bed covers. 

Jesse was just writing some final comments on the chart and signing Steve's release form for the morning when he heard a noise behind him and turned to see Rae standing in the doorway.

"Hey, guys, how's it going?" She looked happy and relaxed. They knew that nothing was going to go down in Martin's warehouse over the next few days, so two other cops were manning the van and she and Cheryl were having some well-earned rest.

"Are you just about finished, Jesse? Only I am as free as a bird." Rae realised what she had said and looked over at Steve, but he didn't seem to be taking any notice of her. She looked at Jesse and he went out into the hallway.

Rae moved over and put her hand on her friend's arm. "Steve?" Her voice was soft and as he turned to her, she saw so much pain in his eyes that she thought that maybe her heart would break. "Oh, Steve, what is it, partner?"

"Nothing, Rae. Just don't go there, ok? Leave it." Steve looked away, he knew that if he started to speak everything would come pouring out, and he wasn't ready to face his fears and frustrations yet.

Rae leant over and kissed him gently on the cheek. Then she sat on the side of the bed and gently pulled him towards her. She hugged him just for a moment and then she released him. "You look after yourself, and let Texas help you, ok? I will come over and see you tomorrow afternoon, once you are settled back in." She straightened up and moved over towards the door. "If you need anything, Steve, anything at all, you let me know, and I will see what I can do."

Jesse watched as Rae tried to get through to her partner. He could tell that she was worried about him, just as he was. Steve had always been good at hiding his feelings, as a cop you had to be able to do it, and this wasn't the type of thing that could lead to depression or suicide, but Steve was a ticking bomb, and sooner or later he was going to explode, and someone was going to suffer because of it.

Rae came out and put her hand on his shoulder. "Are you finished? I thought we could go home together."

"Yeah, I'm finished. Until lunch time tomorrow I am yours." He smiled at her and took her hand. They walked down to the ER together, and after Jesse had signed out they drove home together as well.

Rae unlocked the door to her apartment and they walked inside. Kira came rushing out of the bedroom and wove in and out of their legs. Rae crouched down and picked her up, but she immediately struggled out of her arms and tried to climb up Jesse.

"I think she has missed you, but not as much as I have." Rae put her pet back down on the floor and then put her hand on Jesse's tie and pulled him towards her. "Come here." She placed her lips over his and began to kiss him. She felt his hands as they moved into her hair, and then she became unaware of everything except the feeling of belonging that swept over her.

As Jesse's hands moved out of her hair and began to pull her shirt out of her jeans the feelings of excitement rose in her and she was aware of relief too, relief that he still wanted her. She undid his tie and then discarded it onto the floor. Then as her top joined it she pulled him towards the bedroom. 

Slowly she began to undo the buttons on Jesse's shirt, and he felt himself begin to respond to her. The feelings of hurt and betrayal were pushed to the back of his mind and he just let all his positive emotions take over. He let out a moan as he felt her lips on his again, and then she was pushing him back onto the bed and running her tongue in gentle circles around his nipples.

Rae had kissed, licked and nipped at Jesse for a little while before she began to play her hands down towards his pants. As she slid them off his body she felt his hardness through his shorts, against her hand. She looked up into his face, she wanted to do this so much, but suddenly she knew that she couldn't. "Jesse."

"What? God, Rae, don't stop now."  Jesse was worried, he felt his excitement begin to die down and he looked at her.

"I can't do this, Jesse, not yet, I need to talk to you first. Please." Rae moved over and slid under the bed covers. She held Jesse's side up and he joined her. "I need you to know how much I love you, Jess. It is such a different type of love than the one I have for Steve. When I was waiting with him for the ambulance to come, and I knew that he was really badly hurt, I wanted to help him, to make sure he was safe. And today was the same, he is hurting so much inside, and I just can't reach him, but you, you I know I could reach, I could make a difference."

"I know, but maybe Jo will be able to." Jesse ran his fingers down the side of her face and she put her hand up and trapped them there.

She started to talk again; she needed to get what she felt out into the open. "When you were … with Levington, I just knew that if anything happened to you, my life would end and when you turned away from me after I was hurt, I couldn't bear it. I couldn't see a future where I would have a happy home life, because I thought you wouldn't be part of it. Jess, I never saw Steve that way, he is my partner and I love him, but you are a part of me, without you I don't exist in this form. Can you understand what I am saying?"

"Oh, God, honey, I can't even begin to tell you how your words make me feel. Thank you."

Rae smiled at him and moved his hand round so that she could kiss the fingers. She didn't have much left to say, but it was important. It was all important, but this needed saying.  "I saw you shake hands with Steve, but you have to talk to him, Jesse, I need to know that you can forgive us." She ran her fingers through the long hair that was tangled up on the pillow and unconsciously teased out some of the knots.

"I have spoken to him. I saw him right away after you told me. By the time I got to the beach house I wanted to knock his head off his body, but I didn't. Which is probably just as well, because even now he could beat me to a pulp." Jesse smiled then and was relieved to see that Rae was smiling too. "Rae, I know that it was something that just happened, it wasn't planned, and it hasn't happened since." Jesse took a breath. "You asked me once if I trusted you and I said yes. I still trust you. I don't know if I can forget that it happened, but I can forgive. Rae, I love you, more than life itself. I won't let that one thing split us up." 

Rae had turned to face him as he had said that he loved her more than life itself. She reached out to him then and began to kiss him again. As she did so the tears she had been holding back began to spill onto his cheeks, and he moved her back.

"Don't, sweetheart, don't cry. Just cuddle up to me, it will be ok now, it really will." She moved into his arms and laid her head on his chest. He felt her breathing as it became calm and he stroked her hair as the tears gradually slowed down and then stopped. They didn't speak; neither of them felt the need. After about half an hour he became aware of her hands moving down his body once again.

Rae began to run her fingers over his chest. She had felt so safe and loved as she had lain there, but now she needed more. Gentle movements began to get stronger and more insistent, and soon she was running firm fingers over his body. Rae knew that he was hard again long before he moved and she could feel him pressed against her body. She leant down and took him gently into her hand and played her fingers up and down until she could see that he was hers and hers alone. Then as he laid there his eyes afire with passion and longing she raised herself up and gently let him enter her. They began to move together, and as their bodies got faster, and Rae's muscles tightened around him all the emotions of the last few weeks were released with their orgasms and they both cried out at the same moment. 

Steve sat in his bed and waited for Jo to come and visit with him. She had been coming in at all times of the day, but tonight he knew that he had to talk to her before she took him home the next day. He had tried to plan what words he was going to use, but in the end he had given up. He looked down at his hands. He knew what he had to say to her was going to hurt her, and maybe even finish their relationship, he wanted to be able to hold her hand while he talked to her, and he couldn't. He felt the tears of anger and frustration behind his eyes. He had been holding them in there for, it seemed like, forever, and he wasn't going to let them go now. As he opened his eyes again he jumped. Jo was standing in the doorway looking at him, her face reflecting the anxiety he was feeling.

"Honey, what's the matter? You look awful troubled." Jo had moved into the room as she spoke and now she was getting settled into the seat by the bed.

"I need to talk to you, Jo. I have something to tell you, and you are probably going to hate me for it. But I want you to hear me out, and wait until the end before you say anything, ok?"

"All right. Steve, are you sure you want to do this here? Maybe waitin' until you are home would be better?" Jo was worried now. She had seen how angry he was, even though he had kept it hidden most of the time. What if he didn't want her help, how would she cope with that?

"I kissed Rae." Steve just spat the words out and then stopped talking. It hadn't been any of the options he had planned in his mind. She couldn't hear him out now, because he had no idea what to say next, and he knew with absolute certainty that everything was about to go very wrong.

"You what?" Jo's mind was struggling to take in what he had just said. She'd had no idea what he was going to say, but that wouldn't have occurred to her. "You kissed Rae? When, why? My God, Steve, why did you tell me?"

Jo stood up and began to walk around the room. She had no idea how to respond to what Steve had just said to her, she didn't even know if she could respond.

"Why did I tell you? How could I not? I couldn't carry on our relationship if you didn't know what I had done."

"What makes you think I want to be in a relationship with you if that is what you do when I'm not here?" All of a sudden Jo knew she had to go home. She couldn't stay in the same room with him. She grabbed her purse from where she had left it on the end of the bed and without another word, or a backwards glance she walked away.

Steve watched the empty doorway, his thoughts racing through his mind. Of all the stupid things to have said. He flopped back on the pillows and shut his eyes tight. He was so close to spilling the tears, but he would be dammed if he would do that. Was it his fault that he was sitting here alone? No! Suddenly his anger flared. Why had Rae responded to him? None of this would have happened if she had backed away.  He knew he was being unfair, but right now he needed somebody to blame and Rae was the obvious choice.

It was just after eleven o'clock when Martin walked over to the van to get his coffee. He recognised the two police officers working in there, although he had no idea who they were. He had just paid for his drink and candy and was slowly walking back to the warehouse trying to work out the one clue he had left on his crossword when a hand on his shoulder made him jump and spill his coffee on the floor. He spun round and came face to face with Larry Griffith.

"Man, what did you do that for? Now I have to go buy another drink."

"Forget your drink. We have a problem. The watchman on pier 28 is out with food poisoning, and we have a shipment coming in tonight. I need you to take it. I don't have the manpower to cover it, but the guy down there was trustworthy and he always received it himself. Can you do that?"

Martin managed to keep the huge grin that was trying to escape tightly locked away and just nodded. "Yeah, same time as before?"

"That's right. You will need this." Griffith handed over a clipboard with a large white envelope on it. "Once it gets to about two o'clock you open the envelope and it'll tell you what you are expecting. You make sure that it is stacked in exactly the right place in the warehouse and then you carry on with your shift. Understand?"

"Yeah, no problem, except that Cheryl was coming down later for, well it gets lonely here some nights." Martin stopped talking and hoped that Griffith wasn't quite as crude as some of the people he had heard since he had been working here.

"Well, you'd better get rid of her as soon as she gets here. I noticed she wasn't in the van, I guess it takes two people to do what she does, huh? Two o'clock. Oh, and this is for you."

Martin took the proffered envelope and slid it into his pocket. It was a shame that all this money had to go straight to the Captain, it felt good in his possession.

Rae rolled over onto Jesse and began to kiss him again. She could feel him begin to respond and she moved slightly and kissed his eyelids. As she moved away from them he opened them sleepily and grinned at her. "Hello, you."

"Hello you too." Rae gently moved her body so that she was off him once again, and then she began to kiss him on the mouth hard, and push her tongue in to explore once again. Her hair had just become entangled in her lover's fingers when the sound of a phone broke the moment.

"Oh, I don't believe this." Rae hauled herself up and padded into the other room. She picked up her phone and in a very unfriendly manner answered it. "This is Susan, and it had better be urgent!"

"It is, there is a drop going down tonight at 2.00pm. Cheryl is on her way, I need you here too." The phone went dead and Rae was left staring at it.

Rae moved back to where Jesse was sitting up in bed waiting for her. She stopped in the doorway and looked at him. There was something about seeing her man, bare chested, waiting in her bed for her that made her heart race. "Don't sit there looking that good, or I will never get to the docks on time." She came over to him and began to kiss him once again, she felt him respond and for a few moments her phone call was forgotten, then she pulled herself together and moved away.

"I have to go, there is a drop on for tonight. I'll call you, Jess." Rae was pulling on her clothes as she spoke. She slid her badge into her pocket and then put her gun round in the back of her jeans. She moved into the other room and phoned through to the Captain's home number and waited.

"Newman." The voice was not welcoming, but then she knew she hadn't been either.

"Sir, this is Detective Yeager, there is a drop going down tonight. I'm on my way in now, and Detective Banks is too. We will report in the morning. But do you want any arrests made, or are we going to try to keep Martin on the inside, in case we can get more information?" She could almost hear him as her boss turned over the possibilities in his mind, and took a deep breath.

"Leave it tonight, unless anything unforeseen happens, we go as we did before. I want to see if they deliver anything other than drugs and cigarettes before I start making arrests. Oh, and Detective, be careful, I have already lost one officer from the team on this I don't want to lose another."

Rae started for a moment and then realised that he must mean Steve. But to her losing an officer meant permanently. She guessed he must be tired.  "Yes, Sir. I will keep you apprised of the situation. Good night, Sir."

Michael had finished loading the dishwasher and tidying up the kitchen, and was just settling himself in his own part of the house when he heard the front door slam downstairs. He moved quickly to the top of the main staircase and saw his employer as she hurled her jacket and purse onto the hall sofa.

"Good evening, Madam, can I get you anything?"

"Oh, God, Michael don't go creepin' up on me like that." Jo turned in fright as the voice of her butler and friend floated down the stairway.

"Would you like me to get you a drink? I would have been downstairs, but I thought you were visiting with Lieutenant Sloan this evening."

"Yeah, well so did I. Our plans for me to be lookin' after him for a while have probably changed."

Michael felt his heart sink. He had been extremely worried about how Miss Josephine would cope when he had heard about the Lieutenant's injuries. Now it looked like they had forced them apart.

"I see, is it something you would like to talk over with me, Madam?" He stood there. They had been together a long time, and he knew that if there were anyone she would confide in it would be him.

"Let's grab a coupla hot chocolates an' sit in the livin' room, Michael, you're right I could do with someone to discuss this with."

Five minutes later Jo was curled up on one end of the wine coloured sofa and Michael was sat across from her in the chair that Steve had sat in as he apologised the first time he had come to her house. She took a breath and began to talk.

"I went to see him tonight, an' he seemed real worried. I asked him what the matter was an' … an' he told me that while I was visitin' in Texas he kissed Rae. My boyfriend an' he kissed my best friend." 

"Oh." Michael thought for a minute. It wasn't the injuries that had caused this apparent break up, that would have been harder to deal with. This, he had a feeling, he could cope with. "Did you ask him what the circumstances surrounding the kiss were?"

Jo had to laugh to herself; even in the midst of her despair Michael could still make her smile. Anybody else would have asked what had happened. Even Rae who was British, but not Michael he wanted to know about the circumstances surrounding the kiss! Rae came back to the front of her mind. She considered Rae her best friend, how could either of them have betrayed her like that.

"Madam?" Michael looked at her with concern. He wanted her to talk to him, that way he would know that she wasn't keeping everything locked up inside her.

"I have no idea." Jo looked slightly ashamed. "I didn't let him have a chance to tell me what happened. He told me he kissed Rae an' I just bolted. I knew I couldn't stay, I needed to get back here, back to you."

"Well, we can't deal with this little problem if you don't know what happened. I can't suggest that you go back to see him tonight because it is too late. But you need to find out why they kissed, don't you?"

"Yeah, I guess I do. But how could they do it, Michael? It would have never have occurred to me to go out with another man while I was stayin' with David, an' it didn't cross my mind that Steve would be tempted either."

"They work together all the time, Madam." He stopped talking as he saw Jo prepare to but in. He looked at her and she waited. "I am not trying to excuse what they have done, but theirs is a very intense relationship. You know what it is like to work closely with a partner. Give them time to explain to you. Otherwise you may live to regret it."

"Yeah, I guess you're right, as usual. What would I do without you, Michael?" Jo smiled and stood up, she stretched gracefully and he was reminded of a cat getting up from in front of the fire. "I will call it a night, an' go back in the mornin' an' try to understand the situation. Thank you."

Michael watched as she left the room and headed for the stairs. He picked up the two cups and walked back towards the kitchen. He hoped that there was a good reason for what had happened, because otherwise he could see trouble on the horizon. 

Rae decided that she really needed a different car for tonight, so she drove to the precinct, parked Tom and then went and got the keys for a pool car. It was blue, and stank of cigarette smoke, but at least it wasn't as noticeable as her little vehicle. She parked in a quiet area of the docks and then made her way over to where the van was parked. She saw Cheryl talking to Martin and so she paged her and then waited quietly in the shadows.

It was another five minutes before Cheryl joined her. Rae could see that she was ready for action, and she smiled to herself. "I guess you missed all the excitement, while you were in London. I bet you didn't get to do this very often."

"I took part in a couple of raids, but I can't say that I spent weeks in a roach coach pretending I had the hots for my partner, no." Cheryl smiled at Rae and turned towards the area of the warehouse again. "Ok, Martin has to supervise the unloading of the shipment tonight. The guy on dock 28 went down with salmonella or something, so we now know that he is in on this. Did you speak to the Captain?"

"Yeah, he says to go with the plan from before. We don't make any arrests unless we have to, maybe if Martin does well tonight he can get a little closer to the other guys a bit higher up. And when this is all over, somebody can tell me what a roach coach is."

Cheryl laughed, "That's not difficult, it's a van that sells food, and isn't the cleanest place!" Suddenly she was businesslike again. "Ok, Martin told Griffith that I was coming for a little visit tonight. He was instructed to get rid of me. Well, I don't plan to go very far, we need to see if we can spot any of the delivery men, and also hopefully the pick up guys."

"So we keep back and keep our heads down."  Rae tried to stifle a yawn, and for a second her mind wandered to her warm bed with Jesse fast asleep in it.

It was just before two o'clock when a container ship berthed outside Martin's warehouse complex. He picked up his clipboard and opened the envelope. He was still wary of being watched so he had made sure that he did nothing against the orders he had received.

He watched as a tall, swarthy looking man came down the gangplank and walked towards him. "You Anderson?"

"Yep, and your name is?"

"None of your business. Right let's see your inventory." The man put out his hand towards the sheet of paper Martin had just finished reading. "Ok, that ties with what I got. I will be back." He moved back onto the ship and Martin was very glad that he'd had time to copy down roughly what was on the piece of paper, because he had a feeling he wouldn't see it again.

He watched as a pallet was swung up off the deck of the ship and over towards his position. There seemed to be a lot of boxes on it covered in a net type protection. He moved out into the yard in front of his double doors. He was feeling very nervous all of a sudden and he couldn't tell why.

He knew that there were cigarettes and drugs on the pallet, but also some magazines and guns. There were going to be two pallets so he had a feeling he would be working all night to unload it. He had seen how the drugs had been packed last time, and the cigarettes; well there had been very little effort to even hide them. He imagined that the guns would be well hidden, and if he were packing magazines he would put them inside packs of ordinary stuff.

He moved his hand behind him and felt the reassuring presence of his own gun in his waistband. He didn't plan to use it, but it helped to know that it was there. As he put his hands in his pockets he found the envelope and opened it. He counted the money and found that for actually receiving the goods and storing them the going rate, _no correction, my going rate_, was $2,500. 

Not for the first time, Martin wondered how the goods were moved from the warehouse. He had left a building full of contraband the last time the delivery had been with him, and when he had got into work the following night it had all disappeared. Maybe if he hung around a bit sorting things out, he would see what happened next.

Cheryl and Rae moved quietly closer and closer to the pallet. They had been watching through a small set of binoculars and knew that if they wanted to identify the guy on the ship they had better get nearer quickly.

Cheryl saw Rae crouch down behind some storage bins her gun already in her hand and she carried on a little further down the dock. As she pressed herself up against the wall of a building just opposite from where Martin was standing Cheryl felt her foot snag against a wire on the floor and she put her hands out onto the building to stop herself from falling.

All of a sudden the whole area was flooded with light, and an alarm began to sound. Martin spun round and saw Cheryl standing just the other side of his delivery area, the unnamed man from the ship came rushing down towards him and Larry Griffith came running from behind his warehouse. 

Cheryl realised with a sinking heart that she knew the man from the ship, she had arrested him twice on drug related charges, and she had no doubt that he would recognise her. 

"Hey, she's a cop!" The voice floated out across the night air, and Cheryl reached into her shoulder holster for her gun.

"Freeze, police." She made sure that her gun was pointed at Martin, hoping that she could preserve his cover.

"What the hell is going on here?" Larry Griffith was on the defensive in an instant. "She's your girl isn't she?"

"Yeah, but I didn't know she was a cop!" 

Cheryl was moving towards them as they were speaking, she knew that she had blown the operation and needed to redeem herself.

Martin saw Griffith reach for a gun and decided that he had better solve the problem. As Cheryl moved around so that her back was towards the water he pulled his gun and fired.

Cheryl felt a burning pain in her shoulder as she was blasted backwards, and unable to save herself found she was falling into the black and rancid waters of the docks.


	7. Chapter 7 That's What Friends Are For

That's What Friends are For 

"Cheryl!" Rae screamed her friend's name and rushed out of her hiding place. She was aware of the eyes on her, and she heard a bullet whiz past her, but she didn't care, all she knew was that she had to get to Cheryl and fast. As she reached the edge of the dock she turned her speed into a dive and went head first into the water.

Martin watched as Rae went into the darkness and then he turned to Griffith. "Now what?"

"We get that pallet back on the ship, that's what." Griffith turned to the man on the quay and saw him head back up toward the crane. In just under five minutes, to Martin's astonishment, the pallet was back on board and the engine was being started up. "Come on, it's not safe for you to stay here. Your days of minding a warehouse are over."

Martin looked in amazement at the man in front of him, and then knowing that he had little or no choice in the matter, he followed him up the gangplank and onto the ship.

Larry Griffith watched from the deck as the ship moved away from the quay and then he turned to Martin. "Ok, so what gives dating a cop?"

"I swear, I didn't know she was a cop." He shivered as the sea breeze blew through his hair. "Geez, I can't believe I didn't spot her. I'm real sorry."

"Look, you dealt with it. She's gone, and we need to be too. The cops will be all over this place, they should be here already." As he spoke they heard the sirens in the distance. "Let's get below."

As Martin turned he sent up a silent prayer that Rae had managed to find Cheryl and get her out of the water before it was churned up by the motor. He saw a jacket float to the surface and felt his heart miss a beat. He was helpless, he had succeeded in killing his partner, and probably his friend as well, and now he was sailing off to God knew where with no possibility of getting a message out.

Rae felt the cold and filthy water hit her like a wall. She shrugged her jacket off, kicked at her trainers and tried to open her eyes, but they began to sting instantly. She realised that she had absolutely no idea where Cheryl would be, and so she headed back to the surface and hoped that the lights on the quay wouldn't pick her out.

As she broke the surface of the water she shook all the blonde hair out of her face. The floodlights had given the water a ghostly appearance, and she was thankful for it. She kept looking around and as her eyes got re-accustomed to the light, or lack of it, she thought she saw movement in the water. Her swimming stroke wouldn't have won any prizes, but as she cut through the water she could see that there was definitely something getting closer and closer to her. Then suddenly just as she began to make out the shape it disappeared from view.

Rae took a deep breath and once again went under the waves. She could just make out a disturbance in the water and she reached out with her hands and made contact with a solid object.

As she pulled it toward her the water seemed, if possible, to get even darker. She tried to move towards the surface, feeling that her lungs would burst any moment if she didn't, but suddenly she realised who was above her, and knew she would have to stay where she was if she had any chance of staying alive.

After what seemed like a lifetime, but Rae guessed was a minute or so, if only because she was still conscious, her head began to spin and she hurried towards the surface. She thought, in a muddled headed sort of way, that she would come bursting out into the light, but as she reached the end of her endurance, and was within a hands width of safety she felt herself being enveloped in something, dark, and cold. For a moment she let panic overwhelm her, but then she began to pull herself together again. She very carefully let one arm slip from around Cheryl and she began to claw at whatever it was that was attacking her. Eventually she managed to pull it away, and as she finally saw the sky once again she realised that she had been covered over by her own jacket. The waters threatened to claim her again and she swallowed a mouthful of foul water. Choking and trying once again to stay calm she shut her eyes for a second and uttered a silent prayer.

Her heart sank as she managed to re-acclimatise herself once again to the dim night-light. She was in the middle of the dock, and although she had Cheryl in the correct position to pull her with her to the shore she didn't think she had the energy left to actually do it. She looked at her friend's face and even in the dimness could see that she was very pale. As she let her concentration lapse for a second Rae's head disappeared under the water again, and she ingested some more of the putrid water. Coughing and spluttering Rae turned her eyes to the heavens, and as she began to swim she kept one thought going through her head. _Each stroke gets me closer._

Suddenly she was caught in a beam of light, which blinded her. She stopped swimming and began to tread water. Then a voice came out through the darkness, almost ghostly "This is the Police. Stay where you are, there is a boat coming for you." Rae kept treading water and tried to ignore the fact that her eyes were burning, and her lungs were so painful that she could hardly take in a breath. 

Two hands were suddenly under her shoulders. She tried to talk to tell them to take Cheryl first, but they kept on pulling at her. Rae kept a tight hold on her friend. There was no way she was going to lose her again.

They were both hauled into the bottom of the boat, and as Rae collapsed, unable to breathe, she felt her hands being pulled behind her back and into handcuffs and saw a gun pointed at her. Rae fought to stay conscious, but she had no energy to tell them that she was a cop. She had no idea if her badge was still in her pocket, but she hoped her gun had disappeared. She knew she would be taken to Community General, and somebody there would recognise her. As she lay there she knew with absolute certainty that she was about to be sick. But with a gun pointed at her, and no voice, she just had to let it happen. Then as she flopped back down everything mercifully went black.

Alex was just signing the admittance forms for a road traffic victim when the nurse on reception duty walked up to him.

"Ah, Doctor Martin, we just got word two prisoners are coming in, they are near drowning victims and have been dragged from the docks. There will be a police presence on the floor the entire time they are here."

"Thank you. Get Doctor Sloan up here STAT." 

"Yes, Doctor." The nurse moved back to the reception desk and almost immediately the message was relayed through the air.

Alex sighed and clenched and unclenched his fists. He knew that drowning victims presented injuries that were among the most devastating a doctor had to deal with.  "Do you know what their condition is?"

"One was pulled out of the water barely alive but no other apparent injuries, the second has a gunshot wound to the shoulder, and has also been in the water too long. They are both female cold water victims."

Alex moved over towards the doorway to trauma one. It was nearest to the entrance and he wanted to be able to wheel one prisoner into that room and the other into the adjoining one.

The two gurneys came in together; Alex could see that both patients had portable ventilators in place, as well as cervical collars. He could also see that they had both had finger sweeps to remove debris from the mouth and upper throat, and this was lying in a bag on each trolley. He checked each ventilator and saw that they were receiving almost 100% oxygen. They were also wrapped up in the aluminium-coated blankets specially designed for trauma victims to stop them from developing hypothermia.

As the first gurney was pushed through towards the trauma suite and Alex turned to ask the paramedic for details his eyes caught her face. "What the…? This isn't a prisoner. This lady's a cop. Her name is Cheryl Banks." Suddenly an awful thought crossed his mind and he moved over to the second gurney. "My God, Rae. This is a cop too, Reagan Yeager, and even if she wasn't she shouldn't be wearing those cuffs, get them off her." He couldn't believe that Rae had been handcuffed to the gurney.

"Doctor Martin, that had nothing to do with us." Alex looked behind the paramedic and saw two police officers with their guns drawn.

"Do you really need them? Neither of these ladies is going anywhere, and they are both cops. Now, get rid of the guns and the cuffs, before I have security escort you out." Alex turned as he spoke and as he rushed in with Rae, he saw Mark coming up the hall.

Mark came running down the corridor, and as he neared the ER he heard Alex's raised voice.

"Alex what's wrong?"

"You need to get to Trauma One, it's Cheryl, she is a near drowning victim, so is Rae, but Cheryl has been shot."

"Can you cope with Rae?" Mark look concerned, but he already knew the answer.

"Yes, I'll be fine."

Both doors shut behind the two doctors and for a while all was quiet and calm in the reception area. In the trauma suites however, it was different. As Mark entered he heard the high pitch noise that meant that Cheryl had crashed. He rushed over and started to revive her. Barking out instructions as he worked.

"I need the temperature in this room and the next one raised, gradually, but continually until I say otherwise, or we are both finished with these patients. I want some of the silver heat retaining blankets for both rooms, somebody needs to get in touch with Doctor Travis, and I need an OR, STAT!"

"Yes, Doctor." Mark didn't recognise the nurse who left the room, he guessed she must be new.

Mark breathed a sigh of relief as Cheryl's vital signs all headed back towards reasonably stable levels. He made a quick check of the wound and then changing his gloves he removed the ventilator mask and quickly began to undertake another finger sweep before he put a nasogastric tube in place to remove the swallowed water and debris. Once that was done Mark took a deep breath and checked Cheryl's vital signs once again. Her breathing was still erratic as was her pulse. He had a feeling that it was going to be a long struggle for her. She had lost a lot of blood, although the cold water had probably helped in one way and hindered in another. A nurse handed him a blanket and he made sure that Cheryl was almost completely covered with it, and he was still able to work.

Alex checked Rae's ventilator, and then turned to the nurse standing beside him. "I want a blood gas analysis, a complete blood count, she has ventricular dysrhythmias which will need to be monitored closely." He raised his arm and wiped his brow on his sleeve. He knew Rae needed the temperature up, but he sure didn't.

"Ok, I want Detective Yeager taken to an OR, she will need an endotracheotomy. Her breathing is way to irregular for my liking and her heartbeat. Then she needs to be admitted to the ICU and I want her room temperature raised, and more heat retaining blankets provided for her. STAT."

"Yes, Doctor." 

Alex leant back against the wall and tried to catch his breath. He checked over the chart and all the procedures he had undertaken. He dropped the green contact lenses into the trash, they landed unseen by him next to the false nails that had been hanging off her fingers, as his mind continued to whirl. He didn't think it would take Rae long to recover once her breathing had steadied. There was something causing an obstruction, which was why she needed the operation, and once she was in the ICU and they could regulate her heartbeat, he would feel happier, but he knew that she had aspirated god knows what into her lungs and stomach, and she had already been sick once, so she would still need close observation. He wondered what had happened to result in both her and Cheryl ending up here. He sighed; he hoped he would get the chance to find out.

Jesse turned over in Rae's bed and heard a phone ringing in the distance. It wasn't hers so he sighed, checked his watch and seeing that it was just coming up to three thirty in the morning, punched the pillow into shape, closed his eyes and started to drift back off.

Alex watched as first Cheryl and then Rae were wheeled down towards the OR. He watched as Mark followed them down the hallway and then sank down in a chair. He was relieved that it wasn't up to him to operate on his friends, but he wasn't sure that the waiting wasn't worse.

Alex stood up and stretched, then he headed for the doctor's lounge. He knew that Mark would come and get him or he would be paged as soon as Rae was in recovery, so that he could have her admitted to the ICU. He thought it strange that Jesse hadn't arrived yet. He went to get himself a cup of coffee when he heard his name being called and knew that he would spend his waiting time working in the ER.

Martin sat in the cabin of the cargo ship as it headed back out of the docks. Larry Griffith was pacing up and down; blaming everybody and everything he could think of for the failure of their drop except himself. In the end he turned to Martin and placing his hands on the table in front of him began to speak.

"Right, Anderson, I think that the best thing will be for us to stay on here out in the channel until tomorrow morning. There are no more drops scheduled for this week, so we will just go back into the docks in twenty-four hours and unload this, hopefully more successfully, than tonight. What did you have down for tomorrow?"

Martin tried to think. His brain was so full of the picture of Cheryl falling backwards in to the water and Rae following her in that he couldn't concentrate on anything else. "What, sorry, what did you say?"

"What drops do you have down for tomorrow night?"

"Oh, right…" Martin began to focus, "One at twelve and one at three, but won't the cops shut the place down?"

"Yeah, ok, I'll see if I can get on to another of our guys and get it delivered there. I suggest you get some sleep."

"Yeah, I think I could do with it." Martin desperately wanted to get to Community General to find out what had happened to his partner and his friend, but he knew that tonight that wasn't going to happen.

"Ah, Anderson, you did well tonight. You got rid of that cop no problem. I don't know who went in after her, but I don't think we will see her again either." For the first time since they had boarded the boat Griffith smiled, and Martin had to fight the urge to send him flying into the middle of next week.

Mark walked up to Steve's room and looked in through the door. He knew that his son was going home in a few hours, but he needed to tell him about Cheryl and Rae. He looked at his watch it was five minutes past six, Rae was in the ICU just down the hallway but Cheryl was still in recovery. She had flat lined again on her way to the OR, but the gunshot wound had been much less serious than they had first feared. She was lucky to be alive, in fact they both were, and he still didn't have any idea what had happened.

Mark was also worried by the fact that Jesse hadn't come to sit with Rae, who had had her tracheotomy and was now back on the ventilator and being monitored constantly. He looked through the glass and saw that Steve was sitting up, wide-awake, looking both fed up and very anxious.

"Dad? What are you doing up here this early?" Steve saw the worried face through the glass.

"I came to see how you were feeling, and I have something to tell you."

"What, what, has something happened to Jo? No, it's not, it's Rae isn't it?" Steve knew with absolute certainty that his partner had been hurt, again.

"Rae and Cheryl, Son. I don't know what happened, but they both nearly drowned, and are in the ICU. Well, actually Rae is and Cheryl will be real soon."

Steve was already easing himself out of bed. He had kicked the covers back with his feet, knowing that trying to do it with his hands would take twice as long. He took a deep breath as his ribs protested at the unexpected action and moved slowly across the room. "Take me to them, Dad, please."

"I'll take you to Rae, she's already in a room, and Jesse hasn't come in yet, Cheryl won't be able to have anyone sit with her for a while yet."

As Mark pushed Steve in a wheelchair down the hallway he filled him in on what little information he had. Steve was worried that not only had Jesse not arrived, but that there had been no word from Martin either.

"Has anybody been in touch with the Captain?"

"I have no idea, son, but I'll check. And I'll get them to try Jesse again."

Suddenly Steve remembered something. "He left here with Rae yesterday, maybe he's at her place. But they would know to try there wouldn't they?"

Mark thought for a minute. "Maybe not. It was a nurse I didn't recognise who went off to call him. You sit with her and I'll go find out."

Steve got very gingerly out of the chair at the doorway to Rae's room, and looked at the scene in front of him. It was a terrible thing to realise but the sight of his partner lying on a ventilator with tubes and wires everywhere no longer shocked him. He knew he would never get used to it, but it didn't surprise him any more. There was a nurse in the room as Steve entered but she put the chart back at the bottom of the bed and left without a word.

He carefully sat down and placing one plastered hand over Rae's he looked at her. He could see that she'd had the same procedure carried out as when Jesse'd had to do it to save her life for her just about a year ago. The ventilator worried him, but he knew that she wouldn't be on it if it weren't needed. He took a deep breath and began to talk.

"Rae, I owe you a big apology. You have no idea why, but I do. I told Jo what happened, but I did it badly, and she walked out on me. She's gone, Rae, and I don't know what to do." Steve didn't know if it was because he was tired, and it was early in the morning, or because Rae was still unconscious and wouldn't know what was happening, but slowly at first two tears fell down his cheeks. Then as if the floodgates had finally been opened the tears began to fall quickly and heavily. Great sobs escaped from his chest, ignoring the pain it caused, and not caring that he got his hands wet he lowered his head onto Rae's bed and began to cry.

Mark walked quickly down to the reception area of the ER and spotted the young nurse he had spoken to before. "Excuse me, ah… Nurse Willis, did you get hold of Doctor Travis?"

"No, Doctor I have tried his home number three times now, and his cell, but there is no answer on the one, and a voice tells me the phone is unavailable on the other."

"Did you try Detective Yeager's home number?"

The nurse looked puzzled. She thought that maybe the old doctor was loosing it. "Detective Yeager was the patient, Sir."

"Yes, I know that, but she is also Doctor Travis' girlfriend. He may be at her apartment."

"Oh, I'll try right away." The nurse remembered now that she had known that the doctor and the cop were an item. She felt an embarrassed blush creep up her face and trying to keep the resulting temper under control she took the piece of paper with the telephone number on it without another word. 

Mark watched as she began to dial and then he headed back up to the recovery room to see how Cheryl was doing. He checked his watch; it was just after seven, and he still had another one and a half shifts to do before he could even think of going home. His footsteps were weary, and his shoulders stooped slightly as he entered the elevator, but by the time he exited it nobody would have realised just how tired he really was.

The recovery room was silent. Sometimes it was a hive of activity, and others it was a quiet and peaceful part of the hospital. At the moment that was how it appeared. Mark gratefully walked towards Cheryl's bed, he didn't feel like making small talk with anyone, all he wanted to do was check on his patient and then try and catch a quick nap in the doctors lounge before starting work again.

He moved over and placed his hand gently on her forehead. He was instantly alert as he felt how burning hot she was. She was still being kept warm with the heat retaining blankets, but Mark knew that the heat wasn't coming from that, but from a raging fever.

With a worried expression on his face, Mark hurried to the drug cupboard next to the recovery room. He opened the door and just stared. The cupboard was almost empty. Cursing the staff shortages that had probably resulted in the oversight he moved over to the phone on the wall and put a call in to the ER and requested Alex come up with a broad based anti biotic to feed into her IV, then he got a cloth from the washbasin and began to sponge her down.

By the time Alex came up she didn't feel quite so hot to his touch, but Mark knew that they still had to get the fever to break before she would begin to recover. As Alex began to administer the drugs Mark moved the dressing aside on her wound and looked at it. The site was red and angry, which was understandable, but he was worried about that too. It looked worse than he would have hoped for. The bullet hadn't caused anything like the damage he had feared initially, but at the moment the wound looked far more inflamed than it should. Mark touched Alex on the shoulder, because somehow he felt unable to speak at that moment. Alex must have felt the same, as without a word he moved over and looked at the site of the entry wound on Cheryl's upper chest.

Alex took a breath. For some reason the air seemed charged with emotion. He could see that Mark was tired but it was more than that. It was almost as if by keeping quiet neither of them would have to admit what they both feared, that Cheryl had picked up something nasty while she was in the water, something that was already infecting her body.

"I don't like the look of that, Mark, but it's too early to really hypothesise on what it could be. We need to leave it a couple more hours before we can be sure that it isn't just reaction to the surgery."

"But you don't think it is?"

"No, I don't." Alex was suddenly embarrassed and extremely flattered that this great man would ask his opinion. "I think she has an infection in there, one it could be difficult to isolate."

"Yeah, my thoughts exactly." Mark sighed. He respected this young man in front of him, and felt that he had the makings of a fine young doctor. Between him and Jesse the ER at Community General would be in safe hands for a good many years to come.

The phone was much more insistent this time, and Jesse realised that it was ringing right by his head. He picked it up and mumbled.

"Yeah?"

"Um, is that Doctor Travis?"

"Yeah, this is me. Can I help you?" Jesse was trying to wake up as he spoke, but he wasn't really succeeding.

"This is Community General Hospital, I am phoning to ask you to come in at once please, Detective Yeager has been in an accident."

Jesse was wide-awake instantly. "I'm on my way, do you know her condition, is she in the ER?"

"Ah, no, Doctor, she is in the ICU now, she has been here about three or four hours. I'm sorry, but I couldn't reach you first of all."

"What? Oh never mind. I'm on my way!" Jesse leapt out of bed and grabbed the clothes he had been wearing the previous day and was on his way out and down to his car before he had even caught his breath.

It was twenty five minutes before he screeched into the parking lot and thanking automatic locking cars was on his way in through the double doors before he heard the beep beep of the mechanism engaging. 

As he burst into the ER he saw Jo just in front of him. "Jo, what are you doing here? I thought you were coming for Steve later?"

"I don't know what I'm doing yet. I need to talk to him. Jesse did you know that he an' Rae kissed?" Jo didn't even think of his reaction if he had known nothing about it.

"Yes, I know. Rae and I have talked it through and as far as I am concerned it was a one off, and it's over. They have a very complicated relationship, Jo, but I know that Rae loves me, and Steve loves you. Look I'm sorry, but I have to get to Rae, she was injured last night, and it took the nurse three hours to find me."

"My God, I'll come with you, I can go see Steve in a little while." They travelled in silence up in the elevator and they headed towards the ICU together.

Steve had composed himself, although it would be clear to all those who knew and loved him that he had been crying. Now he was just talking, trying to work out what he could do about Jo.

"Rae, she was so hurt, she wanted to know why I'd told her. But you understand don't you? I couldn't have a relationship with her and not tell her. I love you, Rae, and it's a very special kind of love, I know that I can trust you with my life, all my secrets, even my lunch order!" He smiled to himself but carried on talking. "But Jo. That's different. She lights up my life. When I see her walking towards me, or sometimes when we're all together and she doesn't know I'm watching her, I can't believe that she wants to be with me. I'm just a big dumb cop. There is nothing about me that makes me stand out in a crowd, I have no idea why she wants to be with me, but she does. Or she did. I think I've blown it, Rae, I found somebody who could love me as I am, even though I'm a cop, somebody who I could love back and I blew it. She's gone, and without Jo I don't think I will ever be the same." He stopped talking he was exhausted, he had emptied his heart out and there was nothing left. He let his head drop to the bed once again but this time he shut his eyes and tried to keep the tears from falling any more.

Jo and Jesse walked slowly down the hallway. Jesse wanted to get there as fast as he could, but he didn't want to see her once again in the ICU. As they got nearer they could hear a voice. They both recognised it instantly…

"…She's gone, and without Jo I don't think I will ever be the same." 

Jo felt tears prick her eyes. She looked over at Jesse and he nodded. She went into the room alone, and even though it was her best friend in there her eyes never left the distraught figure by the side of the bed. She reached out and placed her hand on his shoulder and she felt him leap in fright.

"Honey, it's all right. I'm still here, an' although we are gonna have to talk about this, I don't plan on leavin' just yet." Jo put her purse on the bed and then she crouched down in front of Steve and gently ran her hand down his bruised face, her fingers tracing down the stains left by the tears he had shed earlier. "It's nothin' that can't keep, but you need to know that you haven't lost me, I love you, Steve." 

Jo was almost knocked off her feet as Steve turned and buried his head into her hair as it tumbled over her shoulders. She could feel his body begin to heave and knew that silence was her best friend right now. She slowly wrapped her arms around him and let him cry.

Jesse watched the scene from the doorway and felt his heart grow a little lighter. He knew that Steve had an incredibly hard road ahead of him, but he had a feeling that whatever bumps and craters he encountered along the way, with Jo's help he would reach the end, intact, and maybe more whole than when he started out.


	8. Chapter 8 On The Move

On The Move 

Philip Levington lay back on his incredibly uncomfortable bunk and, with his hands behind his head, began to smile as he saw the sun come up. This was the last time that he would be here, waking up in this cesspit. And all because of a particularly soft headed warden and an easily led councillor. The last session of his victim awareness course floated back into his mind. He had been slowly, over the last few weeks, pretending that he was beginning to understand the effect his behaviour had had on his beloved Rae. Showing that he now knew it was frightening to treat somebody that way. Frightening, rubbish! He had seen how she had looked at him at his photo store. He knew she was his; she knew it too and soon so would everybody else. He let his mind wander, and began to replay the last session over in his mind.

"Good morning, Mr. Levington, how are you feeling today?"

"Oh, good morning, Mrs Hewitt, I'm not sure how I'm feeling to tell the truth." He'd smiled at the lady in front of him. She was a tall angular woman and he had hated her on sight, but he knew that she was the key to his future plans, and after a session or two he had begun to understand how she worked and had started to play her just as he played any woman he needed something from.

"Oh, I see, well, it's just you and I this time, everybody gets a one to one session every now and again, and today it's your turn. So maybe you would like to sit down and we can try and work out together just how you are feeling, what do you say?"

He had waited while she sat and then he had done the same. "Thank you, I have been trying to put a name to my feelings all morning, and the closest I can get is that I am ashamed." He had paused then, he knew he would get a response, and he had been right.

"I realise that it is not a very pleasant feeling, but I have to tell you, Phil, I can call you Phil can't I? Just while we are alone together." Receiving a nod she had carried on. "Being ashamed is a very positive sign. If you are ashamed of how you treated your victim then we can move on to the next stage."

"I began to think about what I had done, and I realised that I had probably frightened her." Phil had his head bowed, but his eyes hadn't left Mrs Hewitt's face. He had seen that he had begun to convince her, so he had played what he hoped was his trump card.

"When I was a boy at school, I got a note in my locker. It was nasty and the words hurt me, I had no idea who it was from and it frightened me. Everybody I looked at, or who spoke to me could have been the author.  I got to thinking last night that maybe that was the way she felt when I sent her my letters."

Mrs Hewitt had beamed. "Oh, that is wonderful, that you not only realise what you put your victim through, but that you can identify with her."

Levington had wanted to cheer. He couldn't believe that this woman could be a part of the victim support system. He was glad that he hadn't been assigned to the male instructor who was working with the second group from the jail.

"The end result of this scheme is for you and a person who has suffered a similar crime to the one you committed to meet and for them to help you understand the effect your crimes have had on the life of your victim since. I think that you are getting close to that stage, but first you will need to write and send a letter to explain what you have been doing on this course, and how you feel you have benefited from it. Then if she, it was a she wasn't it?" Levington had just nodded; he had been very interested in what she had to say. "Then if she wants to reply to you we will make sure you receive that letter."

Mrs Hewitt had reached into her bag and extracted a writing pad, placed it on the table in front of him, put her hand back into the bag and handed him a pen. "I have some work of my own to start, so I will leave you to work out your letter." With that she'd moved to the back of the room and taken out a sheaf of papers. 

Phil had sat for a long while working out what to write. He'd known that it would be vetted not only for the content, but also for pointers to see how well he had accepted the regime laid down on the course. Slowly he'd begun to write.

_Dear Detective Yeager,_

_I hope you will forgive my writing to you, but I feel the need to explain a few things._

_I have been taking part in a scheme designed to help prisoners understand the effects of their crimes on their victims. I am sure that being a member of our police force you have heard all about this._

_I know now that I frightened you very much, and I apologise. My scheme co-ordinator feels that I am ready to move to the next stage and undertake a face-to-face meeting with someone. I realise that this is a very big step both for me and you but I hope you will be able to agree to meeting someone yourself and gain something from it. _

_I can see that we both need to be able to move on from this and maybe a meeting of this kind would be the best way to start._

_I hope you will reply to this letter._

He'd read through what he had written and smiled. The letter was so obviously, to him at any rate, forced, but he'd a feeling that it would get him what he wanted. He'd walked, like a schoolboy handing in his homework, up to where Mrs Hewitt was sitting and placed the letter on the table in front of her. She'd read through it, and he knew he had succeeded.

"This is very good. The only thing I would change is that where you have me and you, it should be you and me. I will show this to the warden, but I can assure you that there will be no trouble with us sending this to Detective Yeager for you. You need to be aware that it normally takes a victim about a month to reply, we send a letter of explanation with your letter, but it can be a shock to some people that this type of scheme even exists. 

"Yes, Ma'am, I realise that, and I am prepared to wait."

Levington lay on his bunk and smiled. It had been the morning after his meeting with Mrs Hewitt that the warden had informed him that he was being moved to a prison further out into the country where the inmates undertook fire watches, and weren't guarded quite as much as he was at the moment. Phil hoped that it would mean that he could increase his contact with the outside world, and find out some more of what she was doing with her life. In all the time he had been working with Mrs Hewitt they hadn't mentioned what he had done to the doctor. Maybe they would address that after he'd had his meeting. He shrugged, it was of no interest to him what the doctor knew or thought, it wouldn't matter to either of them before long.

Jesse watched as Steve slowly regained his composure and straightened up and then his best friend smiled sheepishly at him. "Hi, Jess, could you please pass me my chair? I think I've seized up."

Jesse moved into the room and placed the wheelchair directly beside him. Steve, slowly, with Jo's help stood and moved himself into the chair, the pain from his ribs reminding him just how bruised he still was. He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but he felt extremely vulnerable just standing up, knowing that he couldn't use his hands, either to push himself out of the chair, or to save himself should anything happen. "Ok, buddy, I'll come and see you in about half an hour to sign your discharge papers, and run through the instructions for what you have to do at home." He smiled at Jo and then watched as they left the room. 

He turned to Rae who was unconscious on the bed. He could see that the ventilator was still breathing for her, and was glad that she had a mask on instead of throat tube and that she was wrapped in the silver heat-retaining blanket. As his eyes swept her pale face he let out a gasp. He hadn't realised that they'd had to perform a tracheotomy. Although on reflection he wasn't surprised.  He knew that more than anything else that had happened would freak her out. He had no idea what had occurred to result in both Rae and Cheryl ending up in the ICU, but he knew that an injury to her neck would need some careful guidance.

He moved to the end of the bed and picked up her chart. He let his eyes glance over it. Sometimes he wished that he wasn't a doctor, it mostly happened when Rae was in the position she was in now. He knew how treacherous the water was, and that she wasn't out of danger yet. The chart showed all the procedures that had been undertaken, and he knew that someone would be round soon to check her over again. As he stood there and tried to detach himself from the medical side of things, and become just a worried partner he saw Rae begin to come round.

Rae became aware that she was no longer outside. She felt cold, but not as bone numbingly cold as she had, and she could breathe, although she thought that it wasn't right. The realisation that there was something wrong with her throat made her begin to panic and her eyes opened wide in horror.

"Rae, honey, shhh, it's ok. Calm down, you're fine now, but you mustn't fight the machines, let them help you. Take my hand and look at me, Rae."

She tried to shake her head, then Rae shut her eyes again, she didn't want to look, and she was just too scared to find out who was there. As she moved she felt her fear begin to rise, and she felt pain on her neck as well, that was too much for her and this time blind panic took over. Even with the machine her breathing became quick and shallow and Jesse buzzed insistently for the nurse, talking to her all the time, although he knew that his words were having no effect. He instructed the nurse to get Alex immediately and then seeing Rae's fingers begin to travel towards her throat, gently pushed her arms back down onto the bedcovers.

Rae tried to scream, she wanted to move her hands up to pull whatever it was that was on her throat away, but somebody was holding her down. She could hear a voice, but in her fear she had no idea who was talking to her. She tried to scream again, but no noise would come out, she began to have trouble breathing, and even though her eyes were tightly shut she knew that if she opened them the world would be hazy.

Alex came rushing into the room, a sedative filled syringe in his hand. "Jesse, what happened? She shouldn't have even come round yet. My God, look at her monitors, she's going into shock! He inserted the syringe into Rae's IV and depressed it. Slowly the liquid went into her body, and Alex and Jesse watched with anxiety that gradually changed to relief as she began to finally escape the panic that had gripped her.

Jesse sank into the chair beside the bed. His hand still wrapped tightly around Rae's. He looked at the young doctor standing in front of him and let out a sigh. "Thank you, Alex. I think that the next time she comes round we need to get Brian Dobson up here. You know how she feels about anything near her throat, and to have things done to it without her knowledge, well, you saw the result." Jesse shook his head. He had a feeling that this was going to cause a big problem, and it was one that could take a long time to sort out. 

The trouble that had been caused by Leticia Howard strangling Rae at the end of her first case had been there at the back of her mind ever since. He had noticed that she never wore anything tight around her neck, not sweaters, shirts with the top two buttons done up, no choker type necklaces, nothing. Rae had told Jesse that the dress Amanda had worn to the Community General Fundraising ball had been her first choice, but that because of the neck she couldn't even keep it on long enough to show Amanda how she had looked. Whatever had happened the night before had reawakened her nightmare, and this time it wouldn't be so easy to put it back to sleep where it belonged.

Jesse shuddered. Sometimes he wished that he had carried on seeing Brian himself. He had visited with him twice after he had been abducted by Philip Levington mainly to try and assuage the guilt he had felt in letting Rae down. He could do with someone to talk to right now, just to try and get his feelings sorted out. He loved Rae, and he couldn't imagine living without her, but each time something like this happened his fear came rushing to the surface, and it was all he could do to stop himself from running as fast as he could as far away as he could. In fact the last time, he **had** given in to it and it had resulted in some of the worst months of his life. He knew without a doubt that they were meant for each other, and that Rae felt that way too, but he wondered just how much more of this her mind and body could take.

Jesse started as he felt a hand on his shoulder. 

"Jess? Are you ok?" 

He heard the worried voice of Alex and brought himself back to reality. "What? Oh, yeah, sorry, Alex, my mind was wandering." He looked at his watch. "Look could you stay with her just for a while? I need to go and discharge Steve."

"Yeah, sure. I have tests that I need to run; so I will do them while I know she isn't gonna come round. I don't want to frighten her any more than she is already." Alex picked up the chart from the end of the bed. "Don't hurry, I will have you paged if I have to leave."

Jesse gave his young friend a smile and headed off towards Steve's room. He wondered as he walked what had happened to Martin. He knew that Cheryl, Rae and he were working as a trio since Steve's accident. He found it very worrying that the two of them were in the ICU and there was no sign of the young detective.

If Jesse had let his mind wander any longer he would never have been able to imagine just what Martin was doing. Martin was having trouble dealing with it himself.

It had been about four hours after they left the dockside that Griffith had come into the room where Martin was trying to get some sleep and shaken him. "Hey, Anderson, wake up."

"What? Who…? I mean pardon?" He shook his head and tried to come quickly back to reality.

"Hey, man, wake up!"

"Sorry, I haven't been asleep for long. I guess I'm not cut out for life on the ocean waves."

"Yeah, well we won't have to be here for long. We are gonna move down the coast a bit and unload there. Then we will need to lie low for a bit. There will be a lot of heat you shooting a cop an' all."

Martin shuddered. _You don't know the half of it!_ "Yeah, I guess there will be. Ok, then, let's do it."

"First of all, what happened to your gun?"

Martin put his hand round to the back of his pants and removed it from the waistband. Griffith reached out and took the weapon out of his hand, then he walked out of the cabin and hurled it as far as he could, and Martin thought he heard a faint plop as it disappeared into the depths.

Larry smiled as he walked back towards Martin. "There, that is sorted. Now all we have to do is get the merchandise unloaded and we are home free."

"You know, I have a question. What happened to Cheryl's van last night? I don't remember there ever being a night when it wasn't there."

"Ah, well, you know, it was such a shame, but they just couldn't get it to start! I understand that there was trouble with the distributor cap."

Martin realised what had happened and managed to smile, in what he hoped was a conspiratorial manner. "I guess you're right then, we are home free."

Captain Newman walked down the hallway at Community General until he got to the doctor's lounge. He knocked on the door and waited. The door opened and he smiled at the welcoming face of Mark Sloan. "Doctor."

"Captain, how can I help you?"

"I understand, at least I think I understand, that you have two of my officers here." The Captain looked a little confused.

"Yes, that's right, I arranged for you to be alerted. Is there a problem?"

"Well, I would like to know which officers you mean, what happened to them, whether I can get details of their conditions. The sort of information I normally get."

"And you didn't get that this time?"

"Ah, no. I was told, and I quote. 'This is Community General Hospital; I am ringing to let you know that we have two of your officers here. They are in the ICU.' Before I could ask anything the line went dead. I had a feeling that I would do better to come see you."

"Yes. We have a reasonably new nurse. I think I may have to have a word with her. Her communication skills aren't the best. I'm afraid that both Cheryl and Rae are in the ICU, they were dragged from the docks last night, and Cheryl had been shot. But we have no idea what happened to them or to Martin. I'm sorry. Did you want to come up?"

"Yes, I think that would be a good idea, maybe you can fill me in on their condition as we walk. Let me know the nurse's name, I'll make sure that she never gets a chance to join the force."

"I can understand that. Can you imagine if she was in charge of informing councillors what they had a client in jail. They wouldn't know if it was for stealing apples or murder one!"

Captain Newman smiled at Mark. He liked the man, and the chance to share a light moment with him was an unexpected pleasure.

"Her name is Nurse Willis."

By the time the two men had arrived outside Cheryl's door the Captain knew exactly as much as Mark. The light moment had vanished and he was very worried about both of them, but he needed to know who had shot his officer. "Did Doctor Bentley run any tests on the bullet?"

"No, as far as I am aware she sent it over to forensics as soon as it was retrieved…Oh, Alex, can you let the Captain know how Rae is?"

"Yeah, sure. I'm afraid it's not good. She is recovering from her drowning, but she had to have a tracheotomy and she is still on a ventilator, she woke up a while ago, and well, even though she wasn't fully conscious, she had a full blown panic attack. I think that there are going to be some problems to be dealt with when she wakes up. Doctor Travis feels the same way."

Captain Newman walked into Cheryl's room and looked down at his officer. She hadn't been back in his squad room for very long, but he was glad she had returned. When Rae had asked to become a permanent member of his division he had wondered whether Cheryl was feeling the same way in London. He had been very relieved to know that she hadn't been. He could hear all the machines beeping and see the ventilator as it worked. He looked down at the heat-retaining blanket and looked back towards the two doctors. "Are they like the things you see marathon runners wearing after the race?"

Mark nodded. "Similar. They stop any lowering of the body temperature. There is always a danger of hypothermia with near drowning cases, and the docks are colder than inland waterways. They are both warming up now, but we will keep these on them for a while longer so that they maintain their temperature again. There is also a danger of infection, and for a while I was very worried about Cheryl, but I think we have everything under control now."

"I see. Ok." The Captain left Cheryl's room and looked in through the door at Rae. She looked so peaceful it was hard to believe that according to Doctor Martin she had been panic stricken just a little while earlier.

"And Lieutenant Sloan, where is he?"

"He is just being discharged. He will be available later, if you would like to speak to him then." Alex had a feeling that the Captain was the last person Steve would want to see right now. When he had paged Jesse to let him know the Captain was with Rae Jesse had advised against him visiting with Steve too.

Jesse had arrived outside Steve's door just in time to see Jo begin packing his few belongings into his bag. There was a pair of jeans and a shirt neatly folded on a chair, and Steve was sitting on the side of the bed waiting for Jesse.

"Hey, buddy, you ready for me to check you over ready for discharge?"

"No, I thought I'd stay a few more days!" Steve turned to him, and Jesse was delighted to see that there was a sparkle in his eyes again.

"Yeah, funny man. Jo, if you wouldn't mind."

"Sure, honey, I'll be right outside the door, ok, I'm not going anywhere, I promise." She kissed him gently on the forehead and left the room. As she sat outside the door Jo shut her eyes and let her head lean back against the wall. She had a feeling that Jesse was right about Steve and Rae their relationship was unique. They had about five or six years history crammed into twelve months. Everything had been concentrated down since Rae had arrived in LA. 

She remembered back to her days as a cop in Austin, Texas. Her first partner had been a slob, the black and white they drove had been full of _McDonald_wrappers and soda cans nine days out of ten. Every tenth day she had given up and cleaned it out. Her partner when she made detective had been another woman. Ann Riley. She smiled, she hadn't thought about Ann in a long time. She wondered what she was doing these days. They had got on really well, and had for a while shared an apartment. It had been a two-year period, which had been exciting, and exhilarating. Both of them had been sharing an apartment out of choice for the first time, except for their time at the police academy, and as was her normal practice, Jo had kept her wealth a closely guarded secret, so their place had been small and frugally furnished.

Jesse came out of the room and saw Jo obviously deep in thought. He coughed quietly and then placed his hand on her shoulder, hoping not to frighten her.

"Oh, Jesse, I guess you've finished then? Can I come back in?"

"Yeah, I need to talk to you both, but before we go in, I have to just say this. Steve is going to be a difficult patient, you need to realise that, and if at any time, day or night it gets too much for you and you need someone to take your frustration out on I want you to promise me that you will call me, ok?"

"Jess, I will be fine."

"Jo, promise me, otherwise I may not let him into your care."

"Ok, ok, I promise. When he gets to me I will call you." Jo smiled at him and mentally crossed her fingers. She knew that it was going to be a hard time for both of them, but she was also sure that she would be able to cope, but it was nice to know that there was somebody who cared enough to be available for her twenty-four hours a day.

They moved into the room together and Jo was surprised to see that Steve was already dressed, not in jeans, but in a pair of khaki shorts.

She raised her eyes at the sight and he grinned. "Hey, I've heard it is hot outside, I thought these would be better." 

"I need you to be aware of the areas that are still very painful for Steve, which is why he doesn't have his shirt on yet." Jesse moved over towards his best friend and stood next to him.

"Oh, an' there was me thinkin' you had left that just for me to put on him!" Her grin was wicked, and she was gratified to see both men blush.

"Um, yes, right, well, his ribs are healing nicely, and the pain will slowly diminish as time passes." Jesse had recovered himself now and began to let them know what it was he felt they needed to know. "There is no danger of any internal injuries resulting from the broken ribs as I have already told you, but a good trick if the pain gets too bad is to hug a pillow and breath into it. It softens the painful area."

Steve and Jo both looked at him as if he was slightly batty. "And you used one yourself did you when you had broken ribs?" Steve's tone was doubtful."

"Yes, I did, so ner ner de ner ner." 

Steve burst out laughing, and then wrapped his arms around his torso with a grimace. "Oh, God, Jess, don't." His voice was tight with pain and Jesse without a word handed Jo a pillow off the bed and watched as she gently moved Steve's arms and placed the pillow in the right area.

Steve took in a pained breath and then looked at his friend. "I know exactly where you got that from, I have only ever heard that once before."

"Hey, I'm guilty as charged, what can I say, I love the woman." Jesse smiled but he had to push his own feelings of panic for Rae back down inside him, and bring himself back to the matter, quite literally at hand.

"Ok, it gets serious now. We need to work out a plan for Steve's hands. Normally he would already be doing basic physical therapy work but because of the seriousness of the injuries, and the need to keep them fully encased that won't be a concern for quite a while. I would say for at least another six weeks, but I will want you to come in for x-rays weekly." Jesse paused for breath and looked at the two friends in front of him. They were both concentrating completely on what he had to say.

"I can't begin to understand how it is gonna be for you, Steve, you will be to all intent and purposes helpless. I have to say that if Jo wasn't going to be looking after you, there is no way I would have let you go home full time. You would have had to come into the hospital with your dad, stay here as long as he did, and then return home with him." Jesse found himself running his fingers through his hair, and embarrassed by the realisation that Steve couldn't even do that he clasped them behind his back. "Right, all you can do is take each day as it comes. Hopefully by the time you are x-rayed next week we will see some improvement in the condition of the bones. The aim is to remove the pins in the end, but that we can talk about again."

Jesse paused again and looked directly at Steve. "I have already told Jo, that any time day or night if she needs someone to scream at to call me. The same goes for you, buddy. Get the hospital, Bob's, Rae's home number and the hospital programmed in so that all you have to do is press one key to reach them. That way you can get through to me without having to ask Jo, and, Steve, I will expect to hear from you."

Steve just nodded. As he had listened to Jesse he began to realise that without Jo he would be almost completely incapacitated. Already he hated the idea of being reliant on her. _Not just her, everybody. _He started as he felt Jo's soft hand on his face and then realised that she was holding his shirt behind him. He slowly raised his arms and slid first the left and then the right one into the short sleeves; he felt the smooth material as she pulled it up and onto his body and shut his eyes as she began to button it up. He moved one of his heavy and unwieldy hands up behind her head, ignoring the feelings of restriction in his chest. He pulled her down towards him and kissed her passionately on the lips.

Jesse had moved out into the hallway once he had finished talking. He placed Steve's papers on the reception desk and signed his part of them. Then he waited for Jo to wheel Steve out so that she could sign for him.

It seemed as if he had worked a complete day already, but as he glanced up at the clock he realised that it was only just coming up to midday.

Philip Levington put the last prison issue shirt into his holdall, pulled the picture of his mother down from the wall and turned it over. On the back of it was his favourite picture of Rae, the one he had taken at the murder scene the first day he had spoken to her. She was busy sorting out magazines on a kitchen counter and looked young, beautiful and relaxed. He ran his finger across her lovely face and then slipped the picture back into its cardboard frame that hid it from view. Sighing he put the picture into his bag and zipped it up. Then he walked over to the door to his cell and banged on it. A guard opened it up and he walked out. Ten minutes later he was sitting in the prison van waiting at the security gates. As they passed out into the sunlight he caught a glimpse of the clock in the gatehouse, it was two minutes to twelve.


	9. Chapter 9 Home Is Where The Heart Is

**Home Is Where The Heart Is**

Jesse sat quietly in Rae's room, his fingers playing over the back of her hand in circles. She was asleep and no longer reliant on a ventilator, although it still stood by her bed in case she needed it when she awoke again. 

It was five in the evening, and both Rae and Cheryl had come round during the afternoon. Cheryl was also breathing on her own, and didn't seem to be as traumatised as Rae. Mark had been with her when she came round, he had asked her who shot her but he thought she must have still been under the influence of the anaesthetic because she had said just the one word 'Martin' before falling fast asleep. 

Jesse had arranged for Brian to come in and see Rae when he was free. He had a special late appointment, which didn't end until five forty-five, and he had promised to come in once that had finished. Not for the first time that afternoon Jesse wondered how Steve was getting on. He had resisted the impulse to call him, just to make sure that Jo hadn't had her patience stretched to the limit already. He felt Rae's hand move under his, but all she did was shift slightly in her sleep and then become still again. Alex still had her sedated, but only mildly so. There was just enough of it going into her system to keep her in a contented sleep. They would be able to wake her if they needed to.

Jo was sitting on the deck looking out at the sea. She had never been a lover of the ocean, but she had to admit that it was very relaxing when it was calm like it was now. The weather had been so hot for so long that nobody was surfing these days. She leant back in her seat and let the sun beat down on her face for a while. She had put on her sunscreen before she had come outside, but had an idea she would need to renew it quite soon. 

Steve rolled over on his bed and gave a sigh. He had been more tired than he had expected on the journey home. Jo's car was much smaller than his, but not quite as tiny as Rae's. It was very comfy, and he could only just remember leaving the parking lot of Community General before he must have fallen asleep. The next thing he had known Jo was gently running her fingers down the side of his face and placing little kisses on his forehead. He had stretched until his ribs protested and resisted the temptation of trying to rub his eyes. But he had blinked with surprise when he had realised where he was.

Steve hadn't known why, but he had expected Jo to look after him at her house, with the aid of Michael, but now he looked with delight at the beach house in front of him. "Jo?"

"Steve, what's the matter, honey? Are you all right?"

"Yeah, yeah, it's just that … that I didn't expect to be coming home."

"What? Baby, you have broken ribs an' hands, I know it is painful an' annoyin' but you were never in any serious danger of losin' your life."

"Ok, I will explain again." Steve smiled at her. "I expected to be staying at your house, not mine."

"Oh, sorry! Let's go in, then we can carry on this conversation in comfort." Jo had gently placed her hand under Steve's elbow and let him lean into her. As soon as Steve was upright, though, he had moved away from her, "I can manage now, thank you." Then he walked up to the door, stopped, sighed and turned. "Ok, so I need you to open the door, then I can manage."

It seemed to him that Jo had smiled awkwardly before she turned the key in the lock. Steve had walked in without another word and headed straight down to his apartment. He'd opened the door with his elbow and moved straight over and sat on the bed. 

He reflected now that he must have fallen straight back to sleep, and he realised as he looked at the clock, slept for hours. _Great, now I will be up half the night._ He stood up and looked around with a smile, there was no doubt home was the place to be.

Jo started as she heard a movement behind her and turned in the chair. "Hey, honey, did you have a good sleep? You do know that you are gonna be awake all night now, don't you?"

"Yeah, I know. Why didn't you wake me?" Steve snapped before he even realised he was doing it.

"Because I figured I might get the reaction I just got. I'm sorry, honey, I came down and I was gonna wake you, but you looked so peaceful an' all, that I just let you be. I was just jokin' Steve, you are convalescin' remember, you will sleep just fine."

"Jo, why did you bring me here?"

"Because this is your home." She watched as Steve began to pace up and down the deck his arms hanging awkwardly by his sides. "Sit down, Steve, come on, just sit an' listen, after all, you asked the question." Jo waited until he had sat down and then she continued. "When I was ill, before… you know when. I didn't care where I was, an' that was just as well, because although the institution I was in was very expensive, an' had all the latest equipment an' treatments it was still an institution, an' it looked like one. Once I started to get better, an' I began to realise that life was still going on around me I just wanted to be back in my own room, in my own home."

Steve smiled at her. "And you knew I would feel the same. Thank you, Honey. I am glad to be here, but I'm just so short tempered, and Jesse's right you know, I will get worse."

Jo moved over to him then and placed her lips against his. Slowly she began to move her tongue into his mouth, and her fingers through his hair. Steve shut his eyes and enjoyed the sensation. He so wanted to run his hands through her beautiful hair, and feel her skin underneath his fingertips. Suddenly he felt frustrated and angry and he pulled away.

"Don't, Jo. Don't do something you can't follow up. Just leave me!" He moved back from her touch and stood up. The chair crashed backwards and he began to lose his balance slightly. Jo leapt forwards and placed her hands on his arms. 

"Steady, Sweetie, I've got you."

"Yeah, you sure have, right where you want me."

Jo said nothing, but she watched him carefully as he went down the steps and out on to the beach. She knew roughly where he went when he wanted to be alone, and so she just kept a quiet eye on him while she sat back down and began to think.

Rae wasn't sure where she was, but she knew that it was a bad place to be. It was dark and cold, with a menacing air to it. She could see Cheryl who seemed to be reaching out to her, but she couldn't get to her. Each time she tried to move something was pulling at her neck and throat. She tried to cry out, but her throat felt so restricted that the sounds wouldn't come through. She began to struggle, trying all the time to move towards her friend, knowing that she had to get her to somewhere where it was light, and warm. Suddenly she felt something else holding her back, not on her neck this time, but a strong pressure on her shoulders and the noises she had been trying to make burst forth and she could at last communicate. "Cheryl, no, my God, no!" 

Jesse had been dozing off himself when Rae began to move again. This time it was apparent that she wasn't going to slip back into sleep and so he moved over and pressed the buzzer to see if Brian Dobson was free to come up immediately. Once the nurse had left the room he began to watch her carefully, so that he could tell Brian how she had been as she came round, and also so that he could stop her from becoming too agitated. 

As Brian came into the room, he saw Jesse with his hands on her shoulders, trying to calm her; he could hear the love and concern in his voice as he tried to break through her nightmare.

"Rae, Honey, come on, please, it's all right, I'm right here, nobody will hurt you now."

Suddenly Rae's eyes opened wide and she began to shout. "No, my God, no!" She tried to move away from Jesse's touch. "Help me, I have to save her."

"Rae. Rae, listen, you aren't there any more. You did save her, Cheryl is right here, in the hospital with you." Jesse wasn't sure if what he had said was right, but he was pretty sure that it was Cheryl that she was talking about.

"What? Jesse…? No, I don't want to be here, my throat…help me." The two doctors watched as her hands moved up to her throat. She didn't touch it, but her hands hovered there, and Jesse had to look away for a second.

"Rae, this is Brian, can you hear me?" Doctor Dobson moved towards his patient, his mind racing as he walked.  He could see that although she was awake, she wasn't aware of his presence, and he had a feeling that nothing would be gained tonight from trying to talk to her. "Rae, Cheryl is safe, do you understand that? Cheryl is safe."

Slowly Rae turned her face towards the noise and nodded. Then she began to relax back against the pillows and her breathing got deeper and more even. Her eyes began to close and both men were relieved to see her drift back to sleep.

Jesse moved away from her and towards the door. He gestured to Brian and they retired to the hallway. "Thank you for coming up, but I don't think she is ready to speak with you yet."

"No, I am of the same opinion. But I think that she is aware now that Cheryl is safe. Maybe you could let me know just who Cheryl is."

Jesse smiled. It hadn't occurred to him that Brian wouldn't have known whom she had been talking about. "Cheryl is the detective that Rae job swapped with last year. This is her first case since she returned, and they have been working together. Rae is Steve Sloan's permanent partner now, but he was injured a while ago, and still isn't working. Cheryl is Martin Robertson's partner; the four of them were working this case together, at least at the start. We have no idea where Martin is, but we haven't told either of them that yet, obviously."

Jesse, without realising it, had moved towards Cheryl's room as he had been talking. She was still asleep and she looked very peaceful. "This is Cheryl. She was shot and then both her and Rae were found in the water out at the docks. Until one of them feels up to telling us what happened we have no way of knowing what is going on down there."

Brian Dobson looked between the two rooms. It seemed clear to him that whatever had happened to Cheryl happened first, and that Rae had seen herself as being in a position to save her. She hadn't been sure if she had succeeded however, and so that would need to be addressed once again when she woke up. He looked over at the young doctor in front of him and smiled. "I think I need to go and write up what I have observed here tonight. I will let Helen know to interrupt me whenever Rae needs me, and I will explain to my clients that I may have to leave their sessions. I think the people I am due to see tomorrow will understand." He held his hand out and Jesse took it. "Remember, Jesse, if you need somebody to talk to my door is always open for you." With that he turned and walked away, his mind already running through the possible ways Rae's therapy would need to proceed.

As the doors shut on all the cells on A wing, its newest occupant stood and surveyed his new accommodations. They were small and sparse, but at least he didn't have to share with a snoring moron whose whole life seemed geared to how well the Raiders did each weekend in the football season, and deep depression the rest of the year. As they had shared quarters during one very long hot summer he had been particularly morose. However, he had learnt some very useful lessons from Big Dave, as everybody seemed to call him.

Levington was glad to see that he had a desk where he could sit and plan his future life, a toilet rather than the disgusting excuse for one he had had before, there was even a mirror for him to shave in each morning. All in all he felt that his hard work had been worth it. Now, at least he would be able to work out his preparations, and sort out the ideas sitting in his brain, in comfort.

Tomorrow he would start to receive instruction in the art of fire watch. It seemed a contradiction in terms. If you just watched a fire it would get worse. The way he understood it, they were supposed to extinguish them, oh well, the English language was very strange. 

 It was a nuisance that he was now further away from the object of his desire, but it had been necessary for his ideas to begin to come to fruition that he be moved away from his first prison to this one. Soon he would be able to begin to work his magic here, just as he had in the city. He lay down on his bunk and revelled in its comfort. Not quite as nice as the one at home, but it would do – for now!

Martin looked out across the ocean from the trailer park that had become his home. His own house wasn't very big, but at least it didn't bounce when you walked. Larry Griffith was standing just outside the door, smoking. Although he hadn't said anything, Martin had been delighted that he had decided that the trailer was too small to smoke in. He moved into the bathroom and began to dial Rae's number. He punched in the details of the short text message and pressed send. Then he slipped it back into his pocket and left the room.

"Hey, Mandy!" 

Martin shuddered. Ever since Griffith had realised that Martin Anderson could be shortened to M. Andy he had called him nothing else. "Yeah, what!" Still it gave him every opportunity to be short tempered and curt with his companion.

"I'm going for takeout, get your shoes on." He didn't trust his new companion well enough yet to leave him on his own. For all he knew he might have been in league with his girlfriend, the cop. It wouldn't have been the first time a cop had fallen off the rails, even female ones.

"Oh, for God's sake, Larry, how long am I expected to follow you around like a stray puppy? Unless you are proposing that we eat out, I plan to stay here, you know what I want, you go to the same take out each night, and at least if the meat is curried I don't know if I am eating chicken or cat."

Larry Griffith laughed. He had to admit it would be nice to have some time to himself. He could stop for a few beers on the way back, and still have to spend most of the evening with him. "Ok, but you will stay in the trailer." He padlocked the door and headed towards the car.

Martin gave Larry five minutes start and then he went back into the bathroom and got out his cell phone. He dialled the number he had been given at the start of the case to leave messages on and told the machine exactly what had happened so far, and where he was. Then he phoned Community General and with his heart in mouth asked for Doctor Sloan.

Mark was just putting some milk into a cup of tar that was supposed to be coffee when he heard his name being called to the nurse's station. He walked quickly in that direction and saw the nurse on duty holding up the phone receiver. "Detective Robertson?"

"Oh, right. Thank you… Martin, is that you?" 

"Doctor Sloan, I need to be real quick, but I have to know whether Rae and Cheryl are there."

"Yes, they are. They are both in the ICU, but they will be just fine. Have you got in touch with your Captain?"

"Yes, and I will try to contact somebody again soon. If anybody needs to get me they will have to wait until I can get in touch again. Larry doesn't know I have a phone."

"Ok, Martin, I will instruct the desk here to put you through to Doctor Travis or me whenever you call." Mark didn't ask who Larry was, he knew Martin wouldn't want to stay on the line.

"Oh, Doctor Sloan, how is Steve?"

"Fine, he was discharged this morning. I hope he is relaxing at home by now."

"Ok, I have to go. Goodbye." Martin shut off his phone and went to his room at the end of the trailer. He had a bed with a hardwood frame and a bed board made of particleboard. He had dug into the frame with a kitchen knife each night since they had arrived and now he had room to hide his cell phone, where it couldn't be seen with a casual glance. He put it back in its hidey-hole and put everything back where it should be. 

Martin had been sitting on the sofa looking out, once again, at the ocean for about half an hour before Larry arrived back. Part of him had wanted to break one of the windows and make a run for it, but he knew that he had a chance to get deeper into the operation and that he should take it while it was available. So, as the door was unlocked and the smell of curry wafted into their makeshift home Martin was still sitting trusting to fate.

Mark had phoned the beach house to let Steve know that Martin had made contact, and to tell him that he would be working until about eleven and not to wait up for him. Jo had answered the phone, and said she would pass the message on. She had seemed quite relaxed, so Mark had figured that so far things were ok. _So far, it hasn't been twenty-four hours yet!_ But he knew his son was an incredibly impatient patient. He smiled, what a silly statement. He admired Jo for even considering taking him on.

Jo put the phone down and grinned. She was glad she had left Steve to his own devices out on the sand for the last couple of hours, even though she had been worried about him. Now she had a genuine reason for going out to see him. The dinner was nearly ready, and there was a message to pass on. Well there were two actually, she had taken a message from his Captain, but she hadn't been in a hurry to pass it on.  She slipped her shoes off on the deck and headed down the steps. The feeling of sand between her toes was one she didn't think she would ever truly get used to, and she couldn't decide whether she liked it or not. 

Steve was sitting on his favourite sand dune looking out at the calm sea. There was hardly a ripple on the surface of it, and as much as he loved to see the waves crash onto the sand, he also enjoyed the tranquil beauty of a quiet ocean. He had to admit though, that it didn't match his mood. He was more like the breakers that Jesse prayed for on his days off. He would be going along nice and quietly, and all would be calm, and then something would happen and he would burst forth, indignant and furious. Then he would realise that it was pointless and his anger would come crashing back down again, leaving him exhausted and flat, until the next time when the unchangeable process would start again.

Steve put his hands to his head. He couldn't ever remember running his fingers through his hair constantly like Rae did, but since he hurt his hands he'd had to fight the urge to do it. He had a feeling that Rae did it when she needed to get emotions under control, or that it had started that way at least. When she needed to control either anger, or sadness, or anything that was inappropriate to the situation at hand. _Oh, funny man!_ But he knew that now it was a habit, that most of the time she didn't even know she was doing it. Maybe that was why he needed to do it so much at the moment, he doubted that he had ever had so much trouble containing **his** emotions.

Jo could see that Steve was lost in thought as she moved closer to him. The trouble with walking across sand was that you made no sound. You could be right up close to someone and if they weren't looking your way they would have no idea you were there. As she got closer she cleared her throat. Steve let his hands fall to his sides and turned to face her. She was delighted when his face broke into a spontaneous smile.

"Hey, Jo, come and sit. It's a beautiful night, and I have missed being able to sit close to you."

Jo was happy to do just that. The dinner would wait, the messages would wait, but she knew that this wouldn't. She eased herself down next to him and snuggled up. "If I hurt you I want you to promise you will tell me, ok? I know your ribs are still sore."

"I promise, but it's ok at the moment."

They just sat together. There was no difference between them at that moment in time, no carer and patient no injured and able bodied. They were just a man and woman completely in love and secure in each other's company. After a while Steve turned to her. "Jo, I hate to break the spell, but I really need to talk to you, and I have to do it now. Otherwise it will be just one other thing gnawing away at me."

"Ok, do you want to talk out here?"

"Yes please. I said to Rae once, when she had some difficult things to say, that we would talk about it on the beach so that the wind could take her words and blow them away so nobody else would have to hear them. I kinda feel that way about this."

"Well, Honey, you had better be prepared to blow mighty hard, because we haven't had a wind strong enough to blow a speck of sand all week."

Steve smiled then. He knew that they were both relaxed and comfortable with each other at the moment, and that it would be the best time to do this.  "I need to tell you why I kissed Rae."

"Do you know yourself?" Jo tried not to tense her muscles as she realised what it was her lover wanted to talk about.

"No, not really. It just happened. We had been at each other's throats for a couple of days. She was jealous of Cheryl, and neither Cheryl nor I had realised it, and I was insensitive towards her. In the end she asked if we could get a take out and talk. So that is what we did, and we decided to eat it at her place."

Jo was determined not to speak until she knew Steve had finished, so she waited while he collected himself ready to carry on talking.

"Well, it didn't take long before we were arguing again. Rae was really fed up with me, with Cheryl, everybody, and she didn't hold back when she told me. She was annoyed with herself because she didn't like being jealous, and that made it worse. She had worked really hard on a proposal for the Captain, and Cheryl and I presented it while she was out. I guess that was the proverbial straw."

This time Jo couldn't help herself. "Oh, Steve, you know how proud she is of her job an' how she does it."

Steve looked sheepish. He could still easily remember how he had felt when he realised how hurt she had been. "Yeah I know, anyway, she also said about how she would move aside if I wanted to stay partners with Cheryl." He stopped. He still couldn't believe that he had done what had happened next. As he sat there he wondered how Rae had been feeling about it. They had worked together a lot since it had happened, and there had been no embarrassment between them, so he guessed that as far as she was concerned it was a done deal. He turned as he felt Jo's hand on his arm.

"Honey, are you alright?"

"Yeah, Sorry, where was I?"

"She thought that you wanted to work with Cheryl."

"Yeah, well, I turned her face up towards mine and told her that I had requested that Cheryl work with Martin so that she could be my permanent partner and the next thing I knew… we were kissing." Steve looked at her, he wanted to walk away from the hurt he saw in her eyes, but he knew that he couldn't.

"Then what happened?" Jo's voice was almost a whisper.

"We pulled apart and I apologized. But she asked me if I had enjoyed it." Steve stopped again. 

"And had you?" Jo couldn't help herself, but she didn't really want to know the answer.

Steve turned slightly so he was looking away from her, and she had to struggle to catch his words. "Yes, I enjoyed it, so did she. She pulled me towards her, and we kissed again."

This time Jo had to move away. She stood up and headed towards the shoreline. She knew they had kissed, but it hadn't occurred to her that maybe it had happened more than once. She wrapped her arms around herself, she was suddenly cold, and the chill reached to her heart.

Steve looked over to where Jo stood with the water lapping round her feet. He wanted to go over and stand with her, to wrap his arms around her and take away all the hurt and resentment he could see emanating from her, but to his anger and embarrassment he couldn't even get up. The sand moved beneath him and he couldn't get a purchase in it. He wasn't able to put any weight on his hands so he was stuck there until Jo came back and helped him. 

As he sat his mind went back to that evening in Rae's apartment. When he thought about it now it made him feel so guilty. They had, in a moment or two of recklessness, almost destroyed two relationships, no three, theirs too. And he also knew without a doubt that if they had taken it further, they would have discovered that there was no future in it. They had already found the partners they wanted to spend their lives with; they had no business jeopardizing that.

Steve looked back over to where Jo was. She had moved a little further down the beach and was looking out towards the horizon. He would have given anything to be able to move over and hold her, and almost as much to know what she was thinking. As he moved slightly so that he could see her better he got a cramp in his calf and cried out involuntarily. She turned and was back at his side in an instant.

"Steve, honey, what is it?"

Through gritted teeth he began to speak. "Cramp. Jeez, left calf. Arghhh!" He so wanted to clench his fists, the whole area was knotted up and he was in agony. He leant back into the sand dune and shut his eyes. "Oh, God, Jo, please do something to ease it." He felt her warm hands on his skin and she slowly began to massage the area.

"Shhh, it's ok, Honey, relax, I know it's not easy, but if you can it will make it go away quicker. Breathe deeply an' just concentrate on that, an' I will have this gone in no time." She couldn't believe how tight his muscles felt. But they also felt wonderful underneath her fingers. Once again the telling of the tale had been interrupted. This time because she couldn't take it all in one go. She knew Steve was up tight about it, and she guessed that this was the result. She kept kneading her fingers into his muscles, and slowly they began to soften under her ministrations.

"Oohhh, thank you, it's going away now." He looked at her. "Jo, it's you I love, you I want to spend the rest of my life with. I hope I can make you believe me."

"Shhh, I said to shhh. I don't need to hear any more tonight. We have to go an' get some dinner, although I guess it will be supper now, an' get you to bed… alone, Lieutenant, before you say anythin'. I have an appointment with the bed in the spare room tonight. Better?"

"Much. Can you help me up?"

"Sure, Honey. Let me take your arm an' then you lean into me, an' push yourself up." Slowly Steve did as he was told. The pain in his chest told him that his ribs hadn't enjoyed sitting watching the ocean as much as the rest of him, and his calf ached in the way that only happened after an attack of the cramp.

The walk up to the house was a slow affair. Jo took great comfort in the feeling of him leaning into her, and could feel his strength even though he was dependent on her. 

Steve watched the house get closer and closer. It had never seemed a long journey before. But now it seemed like miles. He knew that he couldn't have made it without Jo, and for the time being it gave him great comfort that she was there. 

Jo headed for the stairs, but felt Steve pause. "No, Honey, we can go straight into my apartment. I don't think I can make the stairs at the moment. I hate getting a cramp." Jo nodded. "The key is in the pocket of my shorts." Jo put her hand in the pocket, and before she picked out the key, he felt her move her fingers around a little bit and he began to respond to her. "No, Jo, don't, Honey, I can't, I want to so much, but I just can't."

Jo picked up the key in her fingers, and removed her hand. "Steve, I'm sorry, I didn't think."

"It's ok, it was nice, but not yet, we will have to wait a while."

"Of course. Now come on let's get you inside."

The next morning Phil Levington stood in the grounds of the prison, a bucket in one hand and a small fork in the other. He looked at the other men in his group. There were four of them altogether. Two of them had transferred with him, the other one; well, he had no idea about him. He listened intently to what the guard was saying, this was where his next stage started and he didn't want to miss a thing.

"Right, today we are going to just work together. That's all. You will notice that two of you have implements, the other two don't. I want you to hold the bucket and then fork through the sand and put it in the bucket. Ok, go." The guard took a step back and waited. His face was completely impassive, but that didn't mean that he wouldn't be watching everything that went on.

Phil looked at the man he knew nothing about. "Here." He handed him the fork. The man took it without a word and looked at it. Phil resisted the temptation to raise his eyes to the heavens or even better brain him with the bucket and crouched down. "If you dig it over I will lay the bucket down and you can shovel it in with the fork."

"Ok." The man crouched down too. When their faces were turned from the guard he smiled. "Hi. My name is Warren. I know who you are."

"Quiet. I said nothing about talking." The guard moved over towards them and the two men began to work. Phil looked over at the other pair. They had the one man holding the bucket and the fork while the other one scooped handfuls of sand into the bucket as they were dug. He had a feeling that wasn't what the guard wanted. 

After five minutes the guard spoke again. "Right. That is enough. Stand up and move over to the wall." Phil noticed that there was nothing said that wasn't necessary. No extra words.  The guard walked with them and indicated that the two groups should stand apart. They did. "Ok, you both got a bucket of sand. However, the main thing about working fire watch is that you have to trust each other, and co-operate. Otherwise you can put yourself and others in danger, and the fires can spread. So the two who split up the tools did the better …"

Suddenly the air was split by an alarm ringing across the yard. "Right. That is the fire alert. I want you four to stay with me. We will go and observe. If it becomes clear that the men are in need of assistance you will help, otherwise you will stay with me at all times. Is that clear?" There were mumbled replies. "Is that clear? Yes, Sir, is what I expect to hear."

"Yes, Sir." The four men all replied at once and headed off behind the guard as he walked towards the group of inmates Levington could see gathering at the side of the exercise yard.

The men were split up into teams in the yard and then they were put into vans. Phil had noticed that most of the men had ankle bracelets on. He knew that he would be getting one too. So today seemed to be the day.

They arrived at the fire line about twenty minutes later, and Phil moved over to stand next to Warren, but he was assessing the area the whole time.  "You said you knew me, you have the advantage."

"You were the guy who terrorised that lady cop." Warren looked at him with a glint in his eye. "I don't like cops either."

Levington wanted to correct him, but he had a feeling that it might be handy to have him on his side. "Yeah, she got what she deserved." _Well, she will soon._

"I read about you. You nearly killed that doctor, so how come you ended up here?"

"Let's just say that I had a very nice councillor on the victim support programme!" Levington smiled as he remembered Mrs Hewitt.

"You were looking around, you are planning to be leaving real soon I guess." Warren moved a little closer, keeping an eye open for the guard the whole time. "We will be bagged and tagged by tomorrow, if we are gonna do this it has to be now."

"Hey, Joe, here, a minute I need a hand with this guy." An opportunity rose up in front of them as a prisoner collapsed close to the fire line. Their guard moved off at a run and Warren and Phil did the same thing in the opposite direction.

The two prisoners from Phil's old jail watched as the two men disappeared into the scrub. They had no intention of pointing out that the guard had just lost fifty percent of his team, but neither of them was planning to join them either. They moved further away from where they were standing and tried to look busy.

It was another ten minutes before the guard returned to where he thought he had been standing with his team, but they weren't there. He looked anxiously around and caught sight of two of them a little further up the hill they had been standing on. He shrugged his shoulders and moved over towards them. "Hey you, where are the other two?"

"Watchin' further up the line I guess." The taller of the two prisoners shouted back. He had only six months of his sentence left to serve. He didn't want to get involved.

"Oh, right." The guard moved further up, scanning the area the whole time.

By the time he had ascertained that the two prisoners, Philip Levington and Warren Daines were no longer with him they had a half-hour start.

As darkness fell they moved out towards the road. They watched the traffic as it headed towards Los Angeles. They had worked out that the best thing to do would be to hitch lifts separately. Levington had discovered that Daines was in for the kidnapping and torture of his ex-wife. He had picked his brains all afternoon; to find out all he could about the most effective ways to get a captive to obey his or her abductor. Now they were parting company. Daines had said that he was going to head for Baja, but Levington hadn't actually told his companion where he planned to go.

The darkness was broken by a set of headlights. A small camper van came into view through the gloom and Phil put his thumb out once again. To his relief he saw the brake lights come on and he ran up and waited.

"Hey, man where you going?" The driver was a young man of about twenty-seven years. He looked out through the glass at the man looking in.

"Los Angeles, as close to the middle as you can get me."

"Hey no problem. I can do that." The door opened and Phil got in. The young man smiled at him and extended his hand.  "My name is Samuel, Samuel Middleton."

The door shut and the van pulled back into traffic. Phil looked around him as his eyes got used to the light inside the vehicle. 

"I guess this is kinda fun to drive, huh?" He smiled across.

"Oh, yeah. You know all those programmes from the sixties and seventies, when you would see these vans painted in bright swirly patterns; well I always wanted one of these so that I could do that to it. I just picked this up an hour ago. It only cost me $400 and it goes!"

Despite himself Phil found that he was smiling at this guy. "Yeah, I remember. I tell you, Sammy, this is a great van."

"Thanks, man." Samuel began to whistle as he drove along.

They slipped into silence then, and Phil shut his eyes. He wanted his driver to think that he was asleep, and he obviously did, because gradually the whistling got softer and then stopped altogether. Phil had noticed that there was no radio in the van, so he knew that any details of his escape wouldn't be broadcast in his own little space. His mind began to fill with pictures of his Rae. Soon he would find her and own and control her once again. _Soon my sweet, soon you will be mine._


	10. Chapter 10 Lending A Hand

**Lending A Hand**

By ten in the morning Cheryl had woken up fully and the Captain and Mark were sitting talking to her. 

"You are saying that it was Detective Robertson who shot you?" Captain Newman looked at his officer. She still, to him, looked a little pale, but her eyes were bright. 

"Yes, Sir. I set off an alarm within the warehouse complex and all the floodlights came on. The guy on the ship who was making the delivery was someone I had busted a couple a times. He recognized me and I guess Martin knew that Larry or the guy from the ship would shoot to kill so he got in first." She gently flexed her shoulder and smiled ruefully. "He did a good enough job for me, though."

"Robertson left a message yesterday admitting to everything that you have told me, but also insisting that he stay undercover because he felt he could get closer to the centre of the organisation that way. Who is Larry?" 

"He's the guy that pays Martin off when there is a drop."

The Captain took a breath. "I am gonna have a real hard job getting this by IA. You will have to speak to one of their teams in the next few days, so will Reagan. I don't know how they will react to one of my officers shooting another, just so that he could stay on the job, but I would imagine that they will say that there must have been another way." 

Mark looked at the officer lying in the bed; she looked very worried about her partner. "Do you think that Martin will be able to cope with being out there alone?"

"I don't know, Mark. I haven't been working with him long enough to say either way. If it were Steve I wouldn't hesitate to say yes. Maybe even Rae. I don't know her very well either, but she is an experienced officer, but Martin. No, I can't say." She tried to stifle a yawn and Mark stood up.

"I think that is enough for now, Cheryl, I want you to get a little more sleep. If things carry on the same way as they are, I will happily discharge you in a couple of days. It is only really your shoulder which is keeping you here."

Cheryl smiled. "Thank you. My mom is looking forward to pampering me for a while. She has missed having me around."

The two men walked over to the door. As they exited Captain Newman turned round. "I won't expect you make a habit of this detective. I need my best officers available at all times." 

"Yes, Sir." Cheryl's smile was broad as she lay back down on the pillow. _It is so good to be home._

_I wish I were home!_ "Steve, move away from the door, Honey. I can't help you if you won't let me in the bathroom!"

"I am not letting you in! There are some things that a man has to do alone. This is one of them."

"Ok, when you realise that you can't do it alone, you just give me a little call, an' even though you are behavin' like a spoilt child, I will still come an' help."

With that she turned and went back up into the main part of the house, making sure she left all the doors open, just in case he called. She picked up her coffee cup from the kitchen counter and drank the last dregs down. Then she moved around the kitchen and after searching through a couple of cupboards she found the cereal and bowls. She placed two of the bowls and the boxes on a tray, and then she took them down to Steve's apartment. As she reached the bottom of the stairs she smiled.

"Jo? Ok, I give up. You were right, as usual, I can't get washed or dressed without you." Steve's voice was full of rage and humiliation. He had stood inside the bathroom of his apartment for ten minutes now. He was more embarrassed than he could ever remember being in his entire life. He tried to take a couple of deep breaths so that his anger was under control when Jo arrived.

Jo put the tray down and tapped lightly on the door. She put a smile on her face and then opened it. Steve was standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. He was wearing just a pair of boxer shorts and a face full of so many emotions that Jo wanted to just hug him.

"Ok, honey, now if you smile an' relax this will be much easier for both of us. I have two plastic gloves here, extra large, which I need to put over your casts. Then you can stand in the shower an' let the water calm you down some. She pulled the gloves on for him and then smiled. Steve now had two yellow hands. Jo walked over and turned the shower on and then moved back towards him.

Steve watched as Jo leant forward and with one swift movement he realised that his humiliation was now complete. "I would appreciate it if you would leave."

"No, Honey. I can't leave until you have finished. If you should slip you would have no way of savin' yourself."  Jo sat down on the toilet seat, folded her arms and looked at him.

"Dammit, Jo, it's a good job I love you."

Jo stood back up and walked up to her man. "Steve, maybe you should re-think that. It is because **I** love **you** that I am here. But I expect you to treat me with some respect, or I will leave you to Michael. Now, I suggest you get in that shower an' wash before all the warm water runs out."

Steve knew when he was beaten. Jo had offered to get Michael over and he had said no, he didn't feel that comfortable around him. He moved across and stood in the water making sure that he wasn't right under the jets, that way his hands could be outside of the steady flow. As Steve let it pound against his back he had to admit Jo was right, the water did feel good. It seemed to massage his battered body, and he was aware of the warmth, as it seemed to seep into his very soul. He turned carefully round, and as he did so felt one foot slip on the floor. He managed to keep his balance but was conscious of a chill as it ran through him. Once he had regained his composure he let the water run over his chest, while he kept his arms out from his sides. There was still pain in his ribs, but he knew that it was getting a little better each day. He took a breath. "Jo, I need someone to just make sure I smell sweet." He hoped that she would accept his words as an apology.

"Sure, I would be glad to help… this time. But if you treat me this way again, when you know that there is no way you can do somethin' on your own I will leave you just where you are. Now move over."

Steve turned round to see that Jo had removed all her clothes and was getting ready to join him. He felt himself respond to the sight of her beautiful body and a groan escaped him. "Oh, God, Jo, don't do this to me."

"Shhh, Honey, it's all right, I don't intend to do anythin' you don't want me to, but this seemed like the best way to wash you without gettin' my clothes soaked." She took the shower gel off the shelf and squeezed some out into her hand. Then she slowly and gently began to rub it into his back. "Steve, you are so tense. Darlin' you have got to relax. I know this is difficult for you, but I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't want to, so please let me help you." 

She saw him nod, just slightly, but it was enough for her. She reached up and began to massage his shoulders and neck. She wanted to mould her body to his, but she knew that at the moment he wouldn't be able to cope with it. Gradually she washed the whole of him and then when he was clean once again, she kissed him gently on the lips and left the cubicle.

Steve ran his tongue over his lips. He had wanted so badly to just push her against the wall of the shower and take her right there, but she was right, he would never have been able to keep his balance, or his temper and he also knew that his body just wasn't up to it. He let the cooling water play over him for a few more minutes and then he heard her voice.

"Ok, I am dry now so, carefully, you can come out of the water." Steve waited as Jo, now back in her jeans and t-shirt watched him. Then he cautiously moved towards her. She held a large bath sheet in front of him and he gratefully stood and let her wrap it around him and begin to dry him off. As she began to rub gently at his upper body he leant towards her and began to kiss her.

"Jo, honey, I am so sorry. Please, understand, this is just so… so… damn hard."

"Shhh, it's all right, Steve, I do understand, but you have to try to keep your cuttin' remarks to yourself. Now, let's get some breakfast, before I have to start thinkin' about lunch."

Levington had spent the night in Samuel's van. He couldn't believe his luck in being picked up by someone who had a house on wheels. _It wasn't luck, it was destiny. I'm supposed to be with Rae, and this is all falling into place because it is part of a bigger plan. _ He looked over at the cupboard in the back of the van; nobody would ever guess that there was a body lying in it. Big Dave had already proved useful. He had stripped the body of all the personal effects, and he was now to all intents and purposes Samuel Middleton.

He joined the mid-morning traffic and headed back out towards the Pacific Coast Highway. He had managed to seriously mangle Samuel's driver's licence that morning, and now he had one with his own photo on it. He smiled, now all he needed to do was get rid of Sammy and he was home free.

Two hours later he was wishing he had kept the bucket as well as the fork. The ground around Los Angeles was so hard and dry because of the heat wave that it was like digging in solid concrete, and he could have used the bucket like a shovel. Still he now had a hole big enough for his needs and he was putting the soil back. He had contacted his Mother in the prearranged way and knew that she would have put some money in his account before close of business yesterday, so later he could go and withdraw some. The plans had taken a long time to come together, but he had everything he needed to blend into the population until he could vanish.

Captain Newman walked back into the station and smiled at the desk sergeant on duty. It still surprised him to see someone other than Bob standing there, but he supposed that every cop deserved his annual vacation. He had been gone for four days and had another two to go. There was no doubt that the station ran far more smoothly when he was on duty. He walked up the stairs and in towards his office, hearing phones ringing as he went.

He indicated to Detective Chapman as he walked through the squad room. The officer stood up and followed his boss into his office.

"Sit down, Detective."

"Yes, Sir. What can I do for you?"

"I want you to go back to the docks. Not as a cop, I think maybe as a journalist. I want to find out what is happening. We need to get back in there. Martin has to all intents and purposes disappeared. He says that he is still working undercover, and as he contacted Mark Sloan I have to accept that this is the case. However, I don't have to like it, and I want information, and lots of it as soon as you can."

"Yes, Sir. How are Rae and Cheryl?"

"Better, at least Detective Banks is. Detective Yeager was still asleep when I left."

Chapman rose to his feet and left the room, as he did so a young patrolman knocked. 

"Yes, officer?" The Captain smiled at him and waited.

"I have a message from the front desk for you, Sir." He handed over a piece of paper from a message pad, which the Captain began to read.

"Ah, what do you think the name of this man is?"

"The top one says Daines, I think, and the second one is Plerington." The young man who had only been working at the station for three days looked at his Captain. He hoped he had helped.

"Yes, yes, I agree, I thought that too. Right, thank you." The man left the room and Newman, his brain not quite happy with what he had just agreed to, started to think. As he picked up the piece of paper again there was another knock. Sighing he looked over and seeing a complete stranger standing there, stood and moved towards her.

"Yes, Ma'am, may I help you?"

"I hope so. My name is Abigail Jenkins. My husband was… was murdered on the docks." The woman stopped talking, and the Captain looked at her more closely. She was about twenty-six, and he would have been able to tell from her face, if he hadn't known already, that she had suffered some personal tragedy.

"Won't you please sit down? Would you like some coffee?"

"No thank you, I don't drink it. I don't expect you have any herbal tea?"

Captain Newman smiled then. "In fact we do. I have an officer who doesn't drink anything else." He moved over to the door. He looked out and saw Campbell getting ready to leave. "Detective Campbell, before you go could you please make Mrs Jenkins a herbal tea? I'm sure Detective Yeager won't mind sharing."

The woman smiled at him and he saw that she was clutching a black book to her. He sat back at his desk. "Now, Mrs Jenkins, how may I help you?"

"I have been sorting some of my Danny's things out." She stopped as her eyes filled with tears. "I haven't been very brave about it I'm afraid. I didn't even open his closet until yesterday, and he has been … been … gone for a couple of months now." She knew to the minute how long her husband had been dead, but she didn't think that this man would want to know that.

"I would guess that you have found something that you think will be of use in our investigation?" The Captain stood up and moved some of the papers on his desk out of the way. He didn't see a message sheet fall to the floor as he held his hand out for the book.

"This was at the back of the closet. I started to read through it, and I think that you really need to see it. I also think you need to have this." Slowly she offered the book and an envelope to the Captain. Part of her didn't want to let go of the book, because her Danny had written it, but the other part wanted to throw it out the window, because it detailed everything that had happened to him up to the time of his death.

Captain Newman sat back down with the manuscript. He opened it to the first page and began to read it.

_Tuesday 20th._

_I really liked this job y'know. It meant I could get home before Abbi had to go to work, and we could spend some time together. I could clean house for her so that she didn't have to do so much, and still get paid enough for a few nice bits and pieces._

_But that has all changed. I got a visit. A guy wanted me to think about turning a blind eye to a few drops. I said I didn't mind. He said I would get paid for doing it, and we could do with the money. Maybe even start to save. That would be nice._

_Well the drop was last night. I went for a walk just like I was told. Lord knows I'm no saint, I didn't think I cared what they were bringing in. But I had a look when I got back and it's drugs._

_There was $500 in the drawer in an envelope. I put it in the bank this morning, and I felt guilty the whole time. _

_I don't know what to do about this._

Newman looked up. Abigail Jenkins was sitting, wide eyed just watching him. He flicked through the pages and he could see that there were about ten pages of writing. Then he opened the envelope. Inside it he could see five one hundred dollar bills. "Mrs Jenkins, would it be acceptable to you if I kept this? I will write you a receipt for the book." As he spoke he was already writing on the pad he kept in his drawer.

"Yes, Sir, that is fine with me. I would ask that you let me have it back. I'm not sure what I will do with it, but I think I will keep it." She put her hand on her stomach. "My husband didn't know about the baby I'm carrying. Maybe I ought to keep it for him or her." Abigail stood up then and held her hand out to the Captain.

As he shook it Captain Newman began to speak. "I have to say, Ma'am, that I think that your baby will have a very brave lady for a mom."

"Thank you, Captain." The words were very faint, but he saw a smile hover around her lips. Then she turned and left him. He sat down and began once again to read.

Rae moved slowly in the bed and a faint moan escaped her lips. Alex was just writing on her chart at the end of the bed and so he moved towards her. "Hey, how are you this morning?"

"Alex? What am I doing here? Jesse? Oh, God, Alex where's Jesse?" She felt the panic rise in her and she tried to move, to sit up, and once again she felt the tightness in her throat, and her breathing began to get short and laboured. 

"Rae, listen to me." Alex had his hands on her shoulders now. "Jesse is in with Brian, he will be right back. Now, breathe slowly and deeply, and you will be fine." He looked at her but he could see that she wasn't listening to him. "Rae!" His voice was more insistent and she began to focus on him. "Breathe, slowly and deeply. In and out come on, you can do it." He took a deep breath himself as he saw her begin to respond to him. Gradually she came back to him and he sat down on the bed and let her lean against him. He pressed the buzzer and asked the nurse to let Brian Dobson's secretary know that Jesse would be needed in Rae's room as soon as he was able.

"Alex, please help me. Why isn't Jesse here? He hasn't gone again has he?"

"No, Rae, of course not. He loves you, and I don't think that he will leave you again. He just had to go speak with Brian." Alex paused. He knew that even though Rae was talking rationally to him, she still wasn't far removed from the panic, which threatened to overwhelm her. "Rae, I need to do a couple of tests, is that ok?"

"Tests, what tests?" Her hand went to her mouth as she realised what he meant. "Oh my God, Alex, the water is that why you have to do tests?"

"No, Rae, it's ok. I already know that the water didn't do any damage, ok?

"You're sure, it didn't do any damage, none at all?"

"I'm sure, but I still have to do some tests, is that ok?" He saw her nod so he continued talking. "I have to touch your neck, Rae, or would you prefer that I wait and let Jesse do that for you? He won't be long."

Rae stiffened as she heard Alex's words. She trusted the young man, she was very fond of him and was more than happy to have him as her doctor, but she didn't think she could let him touch her, not there, not yet. She had asked Steve to tell him about her throat, because even though it scared her so much, explaining it was almost as bad. "I think I will wait, if you don't mind." She shut her mind to the memories, which were trying to come back. It was ironic, but when she had been so badly injured before, she had learnt to regulate her thoughts. She could still do it, and she knew that she needed Jesse with her before she let anything escape her.

Alex put a thermometer under her tongue and then set about his tests. Her temperature was back up to normal now, and apart from the panic which seemed so close to the surface every time she was awake, he could see no problem with her going home in a few days. But he knew that he couldn't sign her health certification so that she could return to work. He sighed to himself. When he had finally received his medical license a short while ago Rae had come to him and asked if he would be her physician. He had been so surprised that he had asked her if she was sure, which, as he realised later, was not the best way to gain a patient's confidence, but she had said she was. Now he was going to have to tell her that she couldn't work. Not a great start. 

There was a knock at the door and Rae and Alex both turned. Jesse was standing there, and as she saw him a sob escaped from Rae's lips and before she knew it she was in his arms. Alex moved back out into the hallway and let them have a moment to themselves.

"Jesse, oh, Jesse, I thought you had gone, you weren't here, and I thought you had gone." The tears were on her cheeks now, and the words were tumbling out at speed, but she didn't care, he was still here, and he was holding her tight.

"Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. I had to go see Brian. Shhh, Baby, it's ok now, shhh." Jesse sat himself on the side of the bed, and even though she was so upset he enjoyed the feeling of her body against his. He gently ran his fingers through the long blonde hair that was now tangled and untidy. Even though he knew it wasn't really hers, he loved the feel of it. 

Gradually the tears began to subside and she moved away. As she did so she saw Alex standing outside the door. "Jesse." She tried to take a deep breath, but it felt so restricted. "I need you to … to check, you know." She lay back on the pillow and shut her eyes as she heard Alex begin to talk.

"Jesse, can you check the wound on Rae's throat for me. She would rather that you touch it instead of me."

"Of course. Rae, can you hear me, Honey?"

Rae opened her eyes. "Yes, Jess. I had my eyes closed, not my ears." She watched as his fingers moved towards her and jumped as she felt them on her skin.

"Shhh, it's ok. I need to remove the bandage and have a look, ok?" He felt and saw her nod and then he began to pull it back. Her whole body stiffened as he pulled at the patch, but he could see that there was no problems with it, in fact it was healing very nicely. He moved aside so that Alex could see it and then he picked up a clean dressing and applied it. "There that wasn't too bad was it?"

"Thank you, Jesse. But why is it so sore…" She swallowed and felt the pain once again.

Jesse took a breath, he wasn't sure how she would feel about what he had to say. "When you were rescued, the paramedics did what is called a finger sweep to remove any obstructions from your throat, so I guess it is sore from that, because you had stuff in there from the docks. Alex did the same again once you arrived." Jesse had her chart in his hands now and was checking it. "And the bits that were left were removed in the OR before you had your tracheotomy."

Rae had shut her eyes as Jesse had explained what had happened, but with relief. Now she knew why her throat hurt she wasn't worried about it quite so much. She smiled now and took Jesse's hand in hers. "I feel better for knowing." She rested on her pillow, and both men could see that she was a little more relaxed than she had been.

"Jess, could you wait outside for a moment or two please?" Alex had taken a deep breath before he had spoken. He so admired the doctor standing next to him, but he knew that he wasn't here as a doctor, but as Rae's lover, and he needed to speak to her alone.

"Ok. Honey, I'll be right back."

Alex pulled up a chair and sat next to Rae. He took her hand in his and looked at her.

"Alex, what is it, you said I was alright?"

"Rae, I can't sign your LAPD health certification form. I don't think you are any where near ready to go back to work. In fact I think you need to consider taking a break from it for a month or so." To his relief and surprise Rae just nodded.

"I know. Alex, I have some very frightening thoughts trying to get out. I know that any minute I will begin to panic again. I can't even start to sort out my thoughts, or think of anybody but me or maybe Jesse. In fact I don't want to think at all right now. I just want to sleep."

"It's just putting off the inevitable, Rae. You need to face it. And you know that you still need to speak to Jesse."

"No! Not now, Alex, please." She took her hand from his and ran her fingers distractedly through her hair. 

He could see the panic in her eyes and he knew that she was right, if they weren't careful it would overwhelm her, but if she didn't let some of it out she would have no idea why.

"Ok, I am going to give you a very mild sedative. You have had quite a lot of it lately, but this should be ok." He saw her begin to relax a little. "But, not enough to send you to sleep. I want you to talk, to Jesse, or Brian, or whomever you want, but you have to start talking now, or this will get worse and worse. Rae you have beaten this before, and you can beat it again."

As he said this Rae's hands flew to her throat, and then she clenched her fists. "My God, Cheryl, Alex, what happened to Cheryl?"

He gently depressed the sedative into her IV before he began to speak. "She's fine. She's just next-door. Rae we don't know what happened, but from what you said when you came round before, we think you saved her life."

"Oh, I did, I wasn't sure." Alex turned and waved Jesse back in, and Rae seeing him move so that he was beside her began to talk again. "We were watching the drop that had been planned on Martin's warehouse. You remember, Jesse, Martin phoned us at home." She blushed, and then smiled.

Jesse looked at her. He could see that the panic was receding now. Whatever it was that was frightening her hadn't happened that night. "Yeah, I remember."

"Cheryl and I met up at the docks, and then we got settled into places where we could hopefully watch what was going down without being spotted. I don't know what happened, but suddenly all the lights came on and sirens were going off everywhere. Then I heard a gun go off… and Cheryl fell into the bay." She stopped talking as she relived the moment when she had seen her friend disappear from view. It had been quick, but she had known that she had been hit.

"Rae, do you know who shot her." It was Alex who spoke. Rae just nodded. She didn't want to say. "Rae, you will have to tell somebody, it may as well be us."

"It was Martin, Martin shot her. I just ran. I knew that I had to get to her before they did, or before the cold did. I dived in and it was so bitter and black and …. Ohh it was just awful." She stopped talking.

"Ok, sweetie, that's fine. You will have to tell IA about it all, but I think you will feel a little better now you have told us." Jesse ran his finger down her cheek and Rae put her hand up and trapped his against her face.

"Can I go to sleep now?" Her face was haunted again now that she had finished talking. 

Jesse and Alex looked at each other and then they both nodded. "Rae, I have to leave you for a while, but I promise I will be back before you wake, ok?" Rae nodded, but Jesse could tell that she was already half asleep. The two doctors left the room together and then Jesse started to speak again. "So, what happened on the dock doesn't frighten her. Not in the way that she is frightened. So what the hell is it? Thank you, Alex. If you need me I am going back to Brian."

The two men parted company, and as they headed off in different directions their thoughts were full of problems that had no answers. Rae meanwhile was once more fast asleep, and for a while, away from her problems and fears again. 

By the time Phil Levington arrived back in central Los Angeles it was three in the afternoon. He headed for an ATM machine and withdrew five hundred dollars. Then he bought a paper and headed back towards the shopping mall he had passed about ten minutes earlier.

Once he had got there, he parked his van and walked into the first men's store he saw. He had been lucky that the fire watch uniform had been jeans with a blue shirt and a jacket. Poor old Sammy had no idea who he had given a lift to, and once he had disposed of him, his clothes had been adequate until now. He bought a couple of pairs of pants, some polo shirts and a longer jacket with the large pockets he liked and then he drove off to find a motel for the night.

He lay on the bed, the empty take out trays on the nightstand, and he scanned the paper for any mention of his love, but there was nothing, absolutely nothing. He rummaged about in the package he had picked up from the bus station. He had known that his mother wouldn't let him down. Every week she had taken the bus to her sister's house. Every week she stopped at the station and put a package in her locker. Now he had newspaper clippings for the whole time he had been away. He shook them onto the bed and began to read.

She had been a very busy girl. Slowly he began to put the clippings into some sort of order. It seemed to him that she had disappeared off the face of the earth recently, but then his mother had found a cutting saying that Rae and another lady cop had been found in the dock area and been rushed to Community General Hospital. It was always that damn hospital; she never got taken anywhere else. He knew that he wouldn't be able to go and see her there, that annoying doctor of hers would be sure to be with her. Still maybe he should go and see them. Now that he had the knowledge gained from Big Dave, nobody would be a problem to him anymore. _Isn't that right, Sammy boy?_ He picked up his new jacket and headed out of the room. He had more urgent things to do.

Louise had been reading the magazine she'd found on the bus. She got up to get a drink and as she did so heard a knock on the door. She moved over cautiously, she was a month behind with her rent and didn't want to see her landlord. But the person she saw through the peephole thrilled her beyond measure and the door was soon open wide.

"Phil, what are you doing here?"

Levington shut the door behind him with a smile and handed her a beautiful bunch of flowers.

"Thank you, they're lovely."

"I got parole, I knew it was coming up, but I wanted to surprise you. So are you pleased to see me?"

Louise smiled broadly. "What do you think? I can't believe I can actually touch you, without the glass being in the way." 

Levington smiled back at her. She had been visiting him regularly in prison, and he had always made her put her hand up to the glass before she left. He moved his hand close to her face and watched as Louise placed her fingers on the back of his hand and gently stroked it. He moved a little closer to her and ran his other hand down her cheek before he began to kiss her.

Captain Newman had been interrupted on and off almost all afternoon. It was now four thirty and he was coming to the last page of the notebook. His eyes scanned down the page and he began to read the neat writing. Suddenly he stopped and the book dropped to the desk. He moved over to his computer and typed in a name and waited. After a minute he began to read the screen in front of him, and then he picked up his phone. "Campbell, is that you…? I need you to get back here, and hurry. We have got to find Martin… Cheryl said he was with a guy called Larry. Well if Larry is Larry Griffith, he is wanted in four states for murder, 8 counts and I think Martin is in serious trouble."

Louise smiled over at the man in the bed next to her. It was a long time since anyone had cared for her. She wasn't sure she wanted to do what he had asked her, but she was thinking about it. "I could lose my job if I get you that information, and to be honest I still don't understand why you need it. Arghhh" Louise cried out as she felt Phil's hand slap her hard across the face. Tears sprang to her eyes and she tried to move away from him, only to feel his hand in a vice like grip on her arm. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Please don't hit me again." For a moment the vision of her Father, belt in hand, flew into her mind, but she pushed it away. 

Levington looked at her, she really was a stupid girl, but beggars couldn't be choosers and she had been available. Taking a breath he began to explain it all over again. "Louise, my darling, I am so sorry. It's just that…" He paused and wiped his hand across his brow. "It's just that I know I caused her a lot of pain and suffering and I want to make it up to her. I heard rumours in jail that she was having problems and if I could just see her notes from when she saw that councillor of hers then maybe I could write to her and ease her fears. I was helped so much myself by the victim support scheme and as she was the one who was hurt it seems unfair that she shouldn't be helped too."  This time he knew he had her. "And then my darling, we can start to plan our new life." That did it she was hooked.

Louise looked at him, and realised that he hadn't meant to hurt her, he was just upset. "I will get it for you, as soon as I can." She leant over towards him then and began to kiss him.

Levington's mind was busy as he began to caress her body once again. There was something about Rae that had escaped him, but now he would find out why she had exploded when he had touched her throat.


	11. Chapter 11 Going Home

**Going Home**

Martin got up from the table where he had been doing the crossword puzzle and moved over towards the window. "How long do we have to stay cooped up in here? Only I have a home to run, I must have mail up to the windows by now."

"I have to go and see the man today, after that I'll know what we're doing next." Griffith looked up from his book as he spoke.

"Good, I'll come with you then. I need a change of scene. Much as I love the beach, if I ever see this bit of sand again it will be too soon."

"Well, I'm going in an hour…" He thought for a minute. "I suppose you could come. Then we could swing past your place on the way back, you could pick up your mail and feed the cat or whatever, and then we can make plans."

"Thankfully I don't have a cat, because I think it would be dead by now, but I would like to make sure I haven't been burgled." Martin looked at him, but he was back in his book and not taking any notice of him. The young detective sighed and wandered into the bedroom. He looked around for anything that he could use to leave a message at his place, just in case he learnt something of interest later. In the end he carefully tore the front page out of his own book and folding it up slipped it in his pocket.

By the time Rae woke again it was dark. True to his word Jesse was sitting back with her, and he had been watching her as she slowly came too. Her eyes fluttered open and then she smiled at him. 

"Hey, beautiful, how are you feeling?" Jesse had his hand over hers, and he felt her fingers take a hold of him.

"Ok. Jesse, I want to go home. I want to be with you at home. Please." She looked at the face of the man beside her. She loved and needed him so much, but more than that she needed to talk to him, about her, them, and the future, and she just didn't think she could do that here.

"I'm not your doctor, Honey. I was replaced by a younger man remember!" He smiled as he said it. He was delighted that she had asked Alex to be her physician, and he knew it had given him a lot of confidence.

"But he will listen to you, and I just want to go home, please. Jesse, I can't stay here, I just can't." 

Jesse could see that she was getting agitated again, so he stood up. "Ok, listen, I will go find him, but, and it is a big but, I will not influence him in any way. If he thinks you need to stay longer then that is what will happen." He left the room as he finished speaking. He knew she could persuade him to do anything, and he wasn't about to let that happen this time.

He didn't have far to go; Alex was with Mark in Cheryl's room. Jesse could see that they were busy, so he sat across the hallway and waited.

"Two doctors, why am I getting this preferential treatment? I hope it isn't because I am getting worse." Cheryl looked and felt wonderful so she was confident with what she was saying. 

The two men smiled at her and Mark shook his head. "No, you're doing just fine. There has been a settlement in the pay dispute and we aren't needed in six places at a time any more. Ok, your shoulder is much better. It was only a winged shot and you shouldn't even need any physiotherapy on it. Just keep it mobile and follow your normal exercise routine and I would imagine another week, two at the most and you will be back at work. The infection has all but gone, and finishing the course of antibiotics will sort that out for you, so first thing in the morning, Detective Banks, you are free to go."

"Thank you, Mark. I will make sure I get to see Rae before then. I have gone to her room a couple of times since you let me out of bed, but she seems to be asleep all the time. From what I understand she saved my life, and I need her to know that I am grateful."

"Honey, she won't need you to say anything, she isn't that type of person. She would do it again without hesitation, but I can understand you needing to tell her." Mark walked to the end of the bed and began writing on the chart. "I'm not in first thing in the morning, I plan to relieve my son's willing helper over breakfast, and give her a chance to have a lie in if that's what she wants."

"Poor Steve, I can't imagine what it must be like, but I know what a bad patient he is. She must really love him." Cheryl wondered about this woman, she had never met her, but she couldn't imagine Steve letting anybody get as close to him as Jo _I think that's her name, _would have to be right now.

"She does, and it is returned. They make a wonderful couple." Mark stopped talking. He had always hoped that his son and Cheryl would get together, now he knew that wouldn't happen, but he couldn't be disappointed at the reason why. "Ok, Alex will come see you in the morning, just to make sure everything is still fine, then you can go home with your mom for some pampering and quality time."

"Thank you, Mark, Alex, I appreciate it." Cheryl looked round and saw Jesse sitting in the hallway. "Ah, I think that Doctor Travis is waiting for one or both of you."

Alex looked round and saw Jesse indicate to him. "I think it's me. I'll call in tomorrow, Cheryl. Look after yourself until then." With that he moved out into the hallway where Jesse stood waiting for him.

"Rae wants to go home, Alex. I said that I'd tell you, but that it's your decision. I'm not going to influence you; in fact I'm not even going to come back into the room with you. I don't know why it's such a big deal for her to all of a sudden need to leave here, maybe you can find out. Anyway, for my sins, I will be in the canteen getting some dinner should you need me." Jesse smiled at the young doctor and then he turned and walked away. He knew that it may seem a bit unfair to Alex, but he also knew that Rae would have tried to use him as a lever and he wasn't having that.

"Rae?" Alex's voice was soft as he said her name. She seemed to be sleeping again, but she turned, her eyes open, at the sound of her name.

"Hi, Alex." She pushed herself up into the sitting position as he entered the room and smiled at him. "Sorry, I was just thinking."

"That's ok, can you tell me what about?"

Rae shook her head. "You know some of it, but I have to talk to Jesse first you know that. Where is he, Alex?"

"He went to get some dinner. He'll be back later, I guess. Now, what is this I hear about you wanting to leave us?"

"I want to go home. No, it's more than that, I need to go home."

Alex looked at her. Sometimes the way she spoke was still childlike. Her sentences would be simple and to the point. But she wasn't getting to the point now, and he needed to know why. 

"Ok, I'm not sure that I want to let you leave just yet. No Rae, hear me out, please." Alex saw her begin to talk, but he wasn't going to let her. What he had to say was going to sound harsh, and he wanted to say it before he lost his nerve with her. "The way I see it, you need rest, or you seem to think you do. You spend most of the time either asleep or half asleep. It's understandable, you had a life-threatening situation thrust upon you, and you dealt with it, but I think it's more than that. Why do you need to go home? " Alex paused. Rae was watching him intently. He took a breath and continued. "I think that when you are here you shut your eyes and go to sleep so that you can escape your problems. I don't want you to go home and get so busy with life that you are still doing just that. You know that your life is full and is gonna get even fuller…"

Rae put her hand over his. "The reason I want to go home isn't to run away from my problems and fears, but to face them. I can't do that here. I need to be in my own little nest, with Jesse so that I can sort my life out. Please, Alex, let me do that."

"And if you can't cope, if you find that, like the other day the panic takes over, what will you do then?"

"I will come back and see Brian, I promise." Rae lay back on the pillow. She was tired, but now she was more than that she was scared, scared that what she had said wouldn't be enough for him. She had laid as many cards as she could on the table for Alex, she couldn't tell him any more not yet. As her doctor he had a right to know, she knew that, but the most important part of her problem was something he already knew about, and before she could tell him the rest she had to talk to Jesse.

"Ok, I will let you leave in the morning, in Jesse's care… If he can get some time off to be with you, if not, you will have to stay. Once you have sorted things out, if you don't have confidence in me to be your doctor, will you tell me so I can arrange for Doctor Collins to take back over?"

"Alex, no!" Rae sat back up and took his hand in hers. "I don't want Wil, or Mark or even Jesse as my doctor. I asked you because I saw you working with that pathogen, I saw how you handled a crisis, and as my life seems to lurch from one crisis to another, I knew you could handle me too. You are a good doctor, you are my doctor, and unless you change your mind I would like things to stay that way."

Alex felt himself grow inside as he listened to her words. "Thank you, Rae. That is fine by me; I don't want to lose you." He was very moved by what she had said, and it took him a moment to return to the present. "Ok, Cheryl is being discharged in the morning, now it would appear you are too. I will see you then, ok?"

Rae nodded and then leaning back on the pillow again she shut her eyes for a minute as the relief washed over her. "Alex, can I go see Cheryl?"

"Of course, she wants to see you too." He helped Rae get out of bed, and then watched as she, a little shakily at first, walked into the room next to her own to speak to her friend. Then he headed down to the canteen to let Jesse know what he had decided, with a little help from his patient, it had to be said.

"Hey, I was going to come and see you in a while." Cheryl smiled as Rae came into the room. "How are you doing?"

"Fine, what about you? Have you heard from Martin?"

"No, not a word, but I know that the Captain has and so has Mark. But I don't think anybody knows where he is, or what is happening with him."

"He shot you, Cheryl, you know that don't you?" Rae's voice was quiet, as if she was betraying a confidence, which in a way she supposed she was. "I saw him shoot you, and then you just disappeared. If I hadn't heard a splash I don't think I would have known what had happened to you. Why did it all go wrong?"

"It went wrong because the guy in the ship, the one who came down the gangplank?" she watched as Rae nodded her head, "I busted him, twice. He recognised me. I don't remember much else exactly, but yes, I did know that Martin shot me. He is going to get hell from IA, we have to try and rescue his career for him."

"I know. I hope we can do it." Rae struggled with her inner voices as she spoke, but she knew she couldn't confide in Cheryl, Texas maybe, but not Cheryl.  

The two friends talked for about half an hour before Rae stood up. As she did so Cheryl took her hand. "You saved my life, Rae. Thank you."

"Hey, don't mention it. I would do the same for anybody, but I'm glad I was able to help you." Rae leant over and kissed her on the cheek. She was embarrassed by Cheryl's words, and she left then without saying anything else.

It was dark and silent when Martin and Larry arrived at a warehouse on the opposite side of the docks to where Martin had been used to working. When the small door at the front was opened they both entered, and as Martin's eyes grew accustomed to the light once again, he saw that he was in the headquarters of a business empire, not a building for the temporary storage of goods.

"Wow. You could run a small nation from here."

"We do, Mr. Anderson, we do."

Martin spun round and came face to face with a round, balding man with a moustache and large cigar. "Hi, I guess I don't need to introduce myself then."

"No, indeed. I understand that you saved our shipment the other night on the docks. I am very grateful. Although maybe we need to skim over the fact that you were dating a cop."

"Yeah, well, I hope you will. When you are working nights on the docks, you grab what you can. She was always real nice to me when I got my coffee. But it was a shame I hadn't realised earlier who she was, maybe I could have gotten some information from her."

"Mmm, well, never mind. She is living with the fishes now, with so I understand, her friend who heroically leapt in after her. I don't know, the import, export business never used to be so dangerous." He began to laugh and Martin eyed him coldly.

"So, what do you want me to do now? Only I have rent to pay, and I get the feeling that having disappeared from the docks, the agency won't be all that keen to have me back on their books."

"No, no indeed. Well, I am thinking that the docks is a might hazardous at the moment, however, I do have shipments coming into LAX regularly. Maybe I could get you a position there. Or you could deliver for me, I think for someone who blew the brains of a cop all over the bay a choice could be offered."

Martin mentally clenched and unclenched his fists. His mind began to work, which would be the best job to take to get some information on this guy. "I would like the deliveries, if they were during the day."

"They are. My distributors don't seem to like to work nights. Very well young man, deliveries it is. Larry will go with you the first week, just to help you learn the ropes, and then you will be on your own. Oh, this is for saving the shipment." The unnamed man handed over a thick looking envelope.

"Thank you, Mr… I'm sorry, Sir, I don't have your name."

"Neither will you, I do not impart that piece of information to anyone but my accountant and my maker. Good day, Mr. Anderson."

"Come on, Mandy, it's time to go."

Larry came up to him. He had a clipboard in his hand, and a package under his arm. Martin looked once again in the direction of the man with the cigar and then he turned and followed Griffith out into the night.

"Well, this sure beats sitting in the perishing cold, night after night doing crosswords. Let's see where I have to go, and when." Martin leant across and tried to grab the clipboard.

"This isn't your list. That is dropped off to you with the van each Monday. Not together obviously. You will get a letter in the mail, inside will be a location. You go to the location and there will be your van. Simple. And it works."

"So, can I go home now then? I would really like to sleep in my own bed."

"Sure, as long as I can sleep on your own sofa!" Larry grinned at him. "I'm not leaving you unattended until you have safely delivered your first weeks worth."

"Ok, look, I stopped needing a keeper when I was seven and could walk to school by myself. You can sleep on my sofa tonight if you don't want to go home, but that is it, tomorrow you are out of my house. Then Monday morning, I will pick you up wherever you want me to and we can go get the van together. Ok?"

Larry looked at him. He was beginning to see a strong side to this young man. Maybe he would make the grade after all. He could do with someone working under him who wasn't afraid to make decisions on his own. "Ok, tonight I will crash at your place, and then tomorrow I will disappear. We will have five days holiday, and then work starts Monday four in the morning. But don't get any funny ideas, I know I am still watched from time to time, so you can be as sure as it's hot in hell you will be."

Martin smiled then and as they were stopped at traffic lights, held out his hand, and when Larry offered his, shook on the deal they had just worked out.

By the time Mark got home from work Jo was just feeding Steve the last of his dinner. She had made a pasta dish, which was covered with cheese, and Steve had really enjoyed it. There was just fresh fruit for dessert and then the worst part of every meal, coffee, either through a straw if he wanted to drink it himself, or in a cup held up to him like an old man with no teeth, if he didn't.

"Dad, how was your day?" Steve was relieved to see him. He had been working long hours, and not only that it would be nice to have someone sympathetic to talk to.

"Busy, but I discharged Cheryl, she will be going to stay with her mom for a week starting tomorrow, and from what I heard Alex discharged Rae into Jesse's tender care too."

"Are they both alright?" Steve suddenly felt guilty that he hadn't been back in to see them, but until his Dad had mentioned them, he had been so wrapped up in his own problems that he hadn't given it a thought.

"Yeah, I think so. Cheryl is ok. She could go back to desk duty straight away if she wanted to, but it is very traumatic to almost drown like that, and I think that the extra time will do her good. Rae, physically she is fine. But mentally, something is going on, but she won't give anybody a clue so I guess we just have to wait."

"Mark, I made enough dinner for you too, would you like me to get you some while you an' Steve have a chat?" Jo stood from the table, and picked up Steve's plate.

"Thank you, sweetie, I have to admit I don't think I have the energy to cook for myself tonight." He sat back in the chair and watched his son as his eyes followed Jo out of the room and into the kitchen. "So, Son, how's it been?"

"Hell. I have never felt so dependent on anybody in my life, and I hate it. I love her one-minute and despise her the next. Ughhh." He lifted his hands and let them crash back to the table. The resultant noise had Jo rushing back into the room.

"Steve, Honey, are you all right?"

"Fine, I was just trying to make a point. Don't worry about it!" His tone was curt and Mark was angered and ashamed at the same time.

"Ok, I won't. But when you land yourself back in the hospital, because you couldn't make your point some other way, don't expect me to be holdin' your bags." Jo turned and left the room once again, and Mark had great trouble stifling a chuckle.

"Go on, Dad, laugh, I know you want to. She treats me like that all the time."

"Good. I don't think you would listen to her otherwise." The laugh won out in the end and he put his head back and had a good chortle. He stood as he saw Jo coming towards him with a plate full of steaming pasta with a golden cheese topping. "Honey that looks wonderful, what is it?"

"It's just pasta with a white sauce, bacon an' mushrooms in the base with grated cheese over the top. Quick, easy, an' not too messy. I hope you enjoy." Jo turned back to the kitchen and for five or ten minutes the house was quiet as Mark ate and Steve just enjoyed being with him. Jo came back with a plate covered over with a cloth. She placed it in front of Steve and then removed the covering. Mark nearly choked.

"What the hell is this supposed to be?" Steve's voice was incredulous.

"Dessert." Jo looked at him, waiting for him to bite. He did.

"Ok, I ask again. What the hell is this supposed to be?" This time his voice had anger in it.

"It is a grapefruit, cut in half. Stuck into the grapefruit are lots of kebab skewers. On the skewers are bits of fruit. That way, I don't have to feed you you can feed yourself. Enjoy your meal gentlemen, I am gonna have a bath."

Steve looked at his dessert once again; he could see strawberries, cherries, banana chunks, pieces of orange and kiwi fruit then he looked back at his father, who was still having trouble keeping a straight face. 

"Boy, your life sure is interesting. Can I have a bit?" Mark seemed to have lost interest in the last of his pasta.

"There is one for you in the kitchen, just in case you want to join in." A voice floated out from the spare bedroom, and this time both men just put their heads back and laughed together.

When Jo got out of the bath an hour later she was surprised to find Steve waiting in her room. As she moved over to him she let her towel fall then he stood up and placed one of his hands on the side of her face. "Thank you, sweetheart." He didn't say anything else, but Jo knew what he meant.

"That's all right. I love you, Steve, I don't want to have to be shoutin' an' hollerin' at you all the time. Once this is over, an' you have full mobility back in your hands, we can forget this ever happened, ok?" She moved closer to him and began to kiss him, her tongue moving into his mouth, hoping desperately that he wouldn't push her away. He didn't, and she felt his large clumsy casts as they rested against her back, and he returned the kiss.

Gently Jo pushed him back onto the bed and began to kiss him again, she traced her lips over his eyelids, and ran her fingers through his hair. "Honey, will you let me do this, for you? Just lie there and let it happen?"

Steve nodded, not sure if he could rely on his voice to communicate his aching need for her.

"Relax then, an' you can return the favour another time." She stopped talking and began once again to kiss him. He felt the buttons being undone on his shirt, and then his belt being removed. He opened his eyes and watched her face as she began once again to kiss him this time across his chest. He felt her breasts as they rubbed against his skin, and then he closed his eyes again, and just as she had told him to he let things happen.

Philip Levington opened the blind on his motel room and looked out at another sunny day. He had decided that he would go to Community General and try and get a peek at his love. The costume hire company had been very helpful with a set of scrubs and he had been imagining the scene in his head all night. He would walk into the ER, check the register and then go up and walk along the hallway. She would be lying there; fast asleep and he would check her chart, smile at her and leave. Nobody would know that he had been there it would be his secret.

He got up and headed for the shower. He needed to be clean, bright and sharp as a tack this morning, there were four doctors he needed to avoid at all costs, and a couple more that he would rather not run into, but what was life without challenge? Laughing with excitement he turned the water on and began his transformation.

Rae and Cheryl had chatted for a long time the previous evening, and Rae had almost on a couple of occasions begun to try and explain how she was feeling, but each time she had shied away from it. Now as she sat in the chair waiting for Jesse she knew that even without his help the decisions she had to make would be far reaching, and life changing.

"Hey, beautiful, wanna lift?" 

She was brought back to reality by the voice of Jesse as he pushed a chair into her room. Alex was standing behind him, her discharge papers in his hand. She stood and smiled at both of them, and then, once she had signed the requisite forms she kissed Alex on the cheek and hugged him.

"Thanks doc, I will see you soon, I promise."

"Any time, Rae, you know that. You take good care of yourself now, ok?"

Rae just nodded and climbed into the wheelchair. Then with a smile and a sigh she leant back and let Jesse wheel her away.

Phil Levington walked into the hospital and just as he had planned it was able to walk over to the reception desk in the ER and pick up the room list. His eyes searched down it, watching for the date changes until he found what he wanted. As he took a note of the room number the elevator pinged and he moved around the desk and crouched down to fiddle with his shoe and keep out of sight. As he did so he heard the voice that made his heart sing.

"Jess, why do we have to come this way?" Rae looked up into his face as they got out of the elevator way to early for her liking.

"Because, I forgot to put a note in the diary to say that I wouldn't be in for five days." Jesse smiled. He hadn't forgotten at all, he wanted to see her reaction.

"Five days! Really, you have five days? That's wonderful."

"Yep. It's the long weekend remember? Well, I wasn't shifted to work Friday or Saturday so I just added three days to it like we planned and hey presto, five days together. No work for me until Tuesday." 

Rae put her hand up and pulled down on his tie. Jesse leant over her and she kissed him on the lips. Then so as not to embarrass him too much she let him straighten up again. "Come on then, sign out before somebody sees you and wants to keep you here."

Jesse did what he was told, and within two minutes of entering the floor they were gone again, and their unseen audience of one stood up, slammed the book back on the reception desk and headed for the stairs.

By the time Rae and Jesse got home it was just after ten in the morning. Jesse fed Kira and Rae checked the mail. Most of it was bills, but there was one letter that she didn't recognise. The postmark was smudged and so she just opened it. "Oh, my God. I don't believe this, the nerve of the man!" 

Jesse turned round at the anger in her voice and was just in time to stop her from tearing the letter in two. "Rae. What is it?"

"You read it. Words fail me." Rae sat back down. She picked up the top piece of paper and read it through once again.

_Dear Detective Yeager,_

_My name is Mrs Arabella Hewitt, and I am one of the victim support assistants working in our city's jails trying to help both the victims and perpetrators of crime understand the effects their activities have on the other party to their actions._

_I have been working, very successfully I feel, with Mr. Phillip Levington over the past month and now feel that he is ready to move onto the next stage, which is to meet up with a person who has been a victim of the same type of crime that he was guilty of. _

_However, before they are able to do this we ask all our students to write a letter to the person involved in their own case, to try and explain some of their feelings to them. I hope you will realise from the enclosed letter just how much Mr. Levington has improved and understood since beginning this programme, and that you will write back to him giving him your encouragement as he continues with this scheme._

_There is no need for you to acknowledge receipt of this letter, other than by replying to it when you feel able._

_Yours truly,_

_Arabella Hewitt._

Rae looked up at Jesse who had finished reading the other letter, and then they swapped. Once he had read that one too Jesse sat down and took Rae's hand. "Are you ok?"

"Yes, thank you. She sounds a real drip. I bet he wound her round and round his little finger so tight she had to get his permission to breathe. Urghhhhh" Rae picked up both letters and then ripped them up into little pieces and threw them up into the air.

"And do you feel better for doing that?" Jesse looked at her.

"No, not really." Rae looked sheepish. "I have to pick it all up now."

"I'll help you, and with each piece we put into the trash we remove him from our lives, ok?"

Rae nodded, and between the two of them in five minutes Levington was gone."


	12. Chapter 12 Location, Location, Location

Location, Location, Location 

Phil returned to his motel room and began to re-shape his plan. He couldn't believe that he had only been able to see her round the reception desk instead of asleep in her room. He would have to start again. He couldn't wait much longer to be back in control of her life. The list that he had been keeping in his mind needed to be written out, then he could make sure that everything fitted into place this time.  First of all he grabbed the newspaper and looked in the rental section. Soon there were three places circled and he had appointments to view all of them. Then he called his mother, she was vital to the successful outcome of his long-term plans and he needed to know that she was getting ready. Once he had done all of that he changed out of his scrubs, bundled them up and threw them in the trash. Then he packed his meagre suitcase and checked out. He had shown Louise how to pick locks and just as he had known she would she had gotten the information for him and now he had the lever he needed.

It was the breakfast cup of coffee that did it for Steve. Mark had eaten with them before heading into the hospital after checking that both of them were set up for the day.  Jo had got up from the table and was taking the boxes and the bowls into the kitchen when she heard a crash and an oath from the deck where she had been just a moment before.

"Honey, it's ok, don't worry, I'll get it for you." Jo could see that the mug had fallen and smashed on the ground and that there was a river of coffee running off and down into a puddle on the sand below. As she moved across to deal with it Jo's foot slipped in the liquid, and she crashed to the ground. She lay there winded for a moment and then she was aware of Steve getting up and storming down the steps and away.

"Steve." Her voice wasn't strong, she didn't have enough breath left to shout, so she wasn't sure if he was ignoring her, or just didn't hear her. But either way she was very hurt that he had left her lying there. Slowly she regained her composure and stood up. She looked out onto the sand but she couldn't see Steve anywhere. Suddenly worried she went down the steps and ran straight into him at the bottom.

"Look where you're going," he snapped, as he brought his arms protectively around his ribs. The words stung as she was about to apologise.

"Ok, this ends right here an' now. Inside, your part of the house, come on." Jo grabbed him by the arm and steered him gently towards his own door. She knew it was unlocked because she had come out of it earlier to shake out his bedroom rug.

Once they were inside and the door was closed Jo turned on him. "What the hell is the matter with you? Didn't your daddy teach you some manners when you were a boy?"

"What is the matter with me? Oh, for God's sake open your eyes and look." Steve held up his hands. "I am completely reliant on you, and you just love it."

"You think I like this… this purgatory? I have been here for you every minute since I got back from Texas, I have washed you, fed you, tucked you in at night, hell, I even sat by an' listened when you told me why you kissed my best friend. But just now you couldn't even wait a minute to see if I had hurt myself slippin' on your spilt drink. I could be ridin' across the plains right now instead of nurse maidin' you, you ungrateful oaf!"

"So, how do you think I feel about it all? Have you ever once thought how it feels to have the woman you love, the woman you want to make love to, have to put you to bed, get you up in the morning, cut up your food like a two year old. I can't even go to the bathroom alone. You have me right where you want me, and I don't think I can stand it any longer." Steve's voice was raised and his eyes were full of anger.  He tried to move away from her, but Jo was having none of it. She placed her hands on his wrists, just above where the casts ended and she gripped him tightly.

"Ok, I will say this to you just the once, so you had better listen, an' listen good. I came back from my home, from my time with my brother, who I hadn't seen in three years, because I thought you needed me. I sat on the beach with you the other day an' listened to you when you told me that you were gonna tell me important things there on the sand because it worked for Rae, for Rae mind you, the woman you kissed. I took all your cuttin' remarks, all your sulks an' tantrums because I felt for you, an' knew that it must be hard for someone so independent an' strong to have to rely on a woman for help. But I thought, silly girl that I am, that because I loved you so much we could get through it together. Lord how wrong I was." Her eyes were blazing and she moved away from him, her hands tight fists. All the anger Jo had held in for the past few days came tumbling out. 

"I trust that you can sit quietly by yourself for an hour or two?" She saw Steve nod, although his face was still full of fury. "Good because that is how long it will take Michael to get sorted out an' get over here. I hope you don't plan to speak to him in quite the same manner as you have me, because he will probably tip your dinner in your lap." With that Jo went back out of Steve's patio door, slamming it shut behind her. Then she stormed up the stairs, and within ten minutes she was packed and sitting back in her car waiting for a break in the traffic.

Martin had watched Larry leave his apartment at nine in the morning, and then he had begun to tidy up the place and get it looking in some sort of shape. He had no idea if his place had been bugged, he thought that his cell phone was ok, but he couldn't feel confident about it, so when he called his contact number he pretended he was calling his mother. He finally got through to Captain Newman, and worried for his career when he had to call him dad.

The Captain was alert to the problems the young detective was facing, and immediately fell in line with what he was saying.

"Martin, son, is that you?"

"Hi, Dad, I wondered if you were free for lunch?"

"Of course. How about our normal place, I haven't had barbeque for a while. It would be nice to have that together again."

"Yep, ok then, I'll see you about one." Martin disconnected his cell phone and sighed. At last he could pass some of his knowledge on, before his brain exploded. He collapsed back into the sofa and his hand rested on the envelope he had been given the night before. Slowly he opened it and his eyes nearly popped out of his head. He took the bundle of money out and began to count. When he got to $6,000 he stopped and got a drink of water. In the end he counted out $7,500. There was a type written note with it, which read _A cop's life is always well rewarded_. He wasn't sure if he was angry about the note, or terrified by it.

Martin spent the rest of the morning answering his mail, and mowing his grass, and then he got changed into something a little smarter and headed for BBQ Bob's. He hadn't actually spoken to his own father for about fifteen years, so he wasn't really sure how to go about a father son lunch. 

The Captain was already sitting at a table near the back of the restaurant when Martin walked in. He looked over at the counter, but he couldn't see anyone that he knew working there. Slowly he walked over to his boss and then he put a smile on his face and moved closer. "Dad, how are you?" He held his hand out and felt the strong grasp of his superior officer.

Captain Newman smiled and sat back down. "Son, what would you like to drink?"

"A double scotch, but I think I'll stick with a beer." Martin watched as Newman indicated to a waiter who came over.

"A beer, a mineral water, a plate of ribs and some fries for two please."

"Certainly, Sir." The waiter moved back over towards the counter and Newman began to speak.

"Ok, Martin, this seemed the safest place to talk, but you had better have a damn good explanation for what has happened so far."

"Yes, Sir, but first of all, I have been given a new assignment and I am dropping off, something…" Martin paused, he realised that he had no idea what he was actually delivering. "I start doing it Monday. I hope that I don't have to do it any longer than that. In fact if you could arrest me Monday night I would be eternally grateful."

"After what you've done, you're lucky I don't arrest you right now. You're going to be eaten alive by IA when you come back."

"Yes, Sir, but if I hadn't shot Cheryl then Larry would have, and he would have killed her."

"Yes, you are probably right. All the same they tend to discourage officers from shooting each other!"

Captain Newman watched the young man in front of him. He seemed to have grown in confidence during the weeks he had been undercover.  He needed him to continue with his assignment at least until Monday, if not longer as he was sure there was more information to be gained. "So, do you have any details that you can pass on at the moment?"

"Yes, Sir." He took an envelope out of his pocket. It was addressed to his own mother, and he passed it over. "I am being watched I know that, so I figured this was the best way to go about this."

"Very good. I will give it to your Mother then, Son." The Captain looked at the young detective as he sat there. "Look, Martin, Cheryl and Rae will talk to IA and tell them what happened. You need to concentrate on your assignment, we'll worry about the rest later, but I think it will be alright in the end." After that they ate their food and the conversation lapsed. Once they had finished their ribs they stood, shook hands and headed off in different directions. The Captain was relieved to have made contact with his officer once again, but he was still worried about him. Martin on the other hand was more worried about being spotted with another cop, but he figured he'd had to take the chance, and with any luck the whole thing would be over by Monday.

Steve had been sitting in his apartment feeling more and more embarrassed and ashamed for just over an hour when there was a knock and then he heard the front door being unlocked. He had called the hospital to speak to Jesse and complain, but he couldn't get him. As the time had passed he was relieved that he hadn't been able to reach him. He didn't really want to have to tell him that he had already made Jo walk out.  He stood up slowly, his ribs protesting at the movement, and made his way up to the main house. "Michael, is Jo alright?"

"I suggest you ask her yourself. She will be back in contact with you in the morning. She has decided to keep out of your way at least until then." Michael's tone of voice was clearly disgusted.

"Michael, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt her feelings, but this is just so, so damn restricting."

"Yes, Sir, I am sure that I will find out myself over the next day or two, won't I? Now, I will go and get some lunch ready.  Is there anything you can suggest, or will you leave it up to me?"

"No, Michael, I guess I am quite literally in your hands." Steve turned away from the English man and walked out to the deck, he rested his plaster-covered hands on the top rail and looked out over the water. He knew that he had been in the wrong, but he had no idea how to make it up to her. Still, he would have a couple of days to work it out.

Jesse and Rae had tidied up the pieces of paper, and then Rae made a cup of coffee for Jesse and a herbal tea for herself. "Jesse, I need to talk you, but then I guess you know that don't you?"

"Yes, I know. I have been trying to work out what is going on in your head, but I gave up."

"Yeah, well nobody will ever work that out." Rae smiled at him and then she leant over and kissed him slowly and passionately on the lips. When they parted she smiled at him again. "Sorry, I just needed some Dutch courage. Jesse I'm wondering whether I made a mistake to ask to stay here." Rae stopped talking. She looked at Jesse and her heart flipped. "I love you, more than anyone I have ever met, but I don't know if I can live here."

"Rae, Honey, why?" Jesse felt as if somebody had let all the air out of him. "What has happened recently to make you suddenly feel this way, it is sudden isn't it? You have only had a permanent visa for a few months, you were so desperate to stay and now you want to leave, leave here, leave me?"

"No, no, I don't want to do any of that, but I feel that I have to."

"Why? Nothing you have said so far gives me any reason to let you go." 

"Jesse, I'm scared. You told me I only had to get out of bed for things to happen to me, and you were right. Do you know how many days I spent in hospital on the force in London?"

"No, do you?"

"Oh, yeah, four, and that was when I had just given birth! I shut my eyes and I can see Leticia Howard coming at me with a scarf in her hands, or you attached to a radiator, I can't live with that any more. You were almost killed, just because you knew me, if I leave and go home nothing will happen to you any more."

"No, you can't say that. I could walk out of this apartment block any day of the week and get hit by a car, injured in a drive-by shooting, drowned in the ocean if I fell off my surfboard. Or, as you say, I could live a safe and secure life without you, but if I were without you my life would be empty. I don't want to live an empty life."

"You could come with me, Jesse. We would be safe in London, you could be a doctor there." Rae knew she was clutching at straws but she had to try.

"No, I can't do that. My life has always been here, I can't imagine living anywhere else. You saying you wanted to stay here was one of the best things that has ever happened to me, but I can't offer to do it in reverse, I'm sorry if that sounds selfish."

"I didn't think you would be able to. Jesse, I don't want to go, but I am too scared to stay."

"Why, what is it that scares you?"

"My vulnerability. I feel like I'm twenty feet tall, that every time I leave the house everybody can see me and take a pot shot at me in some way or another. I feel that I'm losing my sanity, each time my mind wanders I feel panic threatening to take over, and I cannot live like that."

"Rae, you are an intelligent, rational woman, why are you unable all of a sudden to behave that way?"

Rae rounded on him then, and her voice rose. "Because I woke up in a hospital bed, having tried to save someone's life, having succeeded in saving someone's life, with a tube in my throat once again. Do you have any idea what it feels like to have your worst nightmare happen to you again and again?" She paused and tried to catch her breath. "I lay in my bed after Donovan attacked me and people that I knew I should know were strangers, words that they said meant nothing to me, and I was at a funeral for God's sake!" As she spoke she could remember the terror she had felt, as she had been unable to communicate, and this time she couldn't catch her breath.

"Rae, Honey, breathe slowly and deeply, we can talk again later, lean into me, it's all right." Jesse placed his arm around her and felt her collapse against him.

"I can't do this any more, Jesse. Help me leave, please." 

"Rae, you have me to come home to, you know that, if something happens you can tell me, if, God forbid you get hurt again, I will care for you, you know that."

"No, I don't. You weren't there for me when I woke up after Texas was taken. I can't get the fear out of my mind that I'll wake up again and you won't be there. That I will get hurt one time too many for you and you will be the one to leave.  That I'll be here and you'll be gone."

"Rae, look at me." Rae had got up and moved away from him as she spoke. "I made the biggest mistake of my life on the day that I got up and walked away from your hospital room. I won't ever do that again, I promise you that… Rae, please don't leave me."

Rae turned to him then, and saw tears in his eyes. All of the feelings that she had for him came rushing to the surface and she moved quickly back to his side. "Jesse, oh, Honey don't, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"Look at me again, Rae, please. Together we are a strong team, we can handle anything, and we have handled anything. Stay with me, and we can be happy. Honey, I will do everything in my power to keep you safe. Just the same as you will do for me."

"I know that, but I am so scared, scared for you, scared for me. What can I do to change that? … There is one thing, but I don't know whether I can do it."

"What, do what?"

"I can leave the force, I can stop being a cop."

"Rae, you know I will support you in every way that I can, whatever you want to do, but I still don't understand what has made you so scared all of a sudden. You said that being a cop was what you were, not what you did, so why would you be prepared to give it all up now, what has changed?" 

There was a long silence then as Rae's thoughts rushed together in her mind. She had things to tell him, things that she had no idea how he would react to, and she was scared about that too. Scared that maybe he would hate what she had to say and leave her alone with her hopes and fears, even though he said he wouldn't. She took a deep breath, Rae knew that she had to tell him, and so she turned to him and with tears forming in her eyes she began to speak. "I'm carrying your baby, Jesse." Rae put her hand over her mouth and rushed from the room.  Jesse could hear her in her room as she sobbed, and he knew that however much he wanted to for a while at least he wouldn't be able to reach her but he went into the room so she wouldn't be alone. 

Steve sat at the table and tried to keep his temper under control as Michael tucked a napkin in to his shirt collar. He had a feeling that the manservant was trying to make a point because in front of him sat a bowl of soup and a plate of croutons. There was a straw by the bowl and a spoon. "Michael I do not need a bib! Contrary to belief I am a grown man!"

"Would Sir like to feed himself, or would you like me to do it for you?" Michael decided that for now he would ignore the ill tempered remarks, this young man needed to eat, and he had a feeling that if he joined in this conversation the meal would be forgotten.

"And how the hell am I supposed to feed myself with soup?" Steve's tone was short and he was horrified as Michael used the same tone in return. 

"I imagine you can work that out for yourself… Sir." With that Michael returned to the kitchen and left Steve to his own devices.

He looked at his hands, and then at the soup. Then he began to think and a smile played across his face. He picked up the straw between his teeth and he sucked some of the soup up with it.  After he had drunk some of the liquid he moved the straw over to the toast and sucked against one of the little squares. He had to draw harder than he thought, and it made his sore ribs complain, but it didn't bother him too much. He was feeding himself. Once he had it on the bottom of the straw he held his palm under the end and stopped sucking. He then picked up the toast in his teeth and took it into his mouth. Then he sucked up some more soup and slowly finished what he was eating. He felt his confidence rise with each successful mouthful and although his meal was stone cold by the time he had finished it he was extremely impressed with himself and the fact that he had eaten a whole meal without help. 

Michael watched round the doorframe of the kitchen and smiled. He knew that Miss Josephine had worked really hard with him, and he had advised her all he could, but he also knew that the Lieutenant needed to do some things on his own. After she had called him the previous night and told him what she had planned with the grapefruit he had begun to think about how he could feed himself other meals. He had to admit he hadn't planned to put the ideas into action quite so quickly, but at least this one had worked.

"Michael, I have finished." Steve felt like a small boy the first time he finished his whole school lunch. "Thank you." He saw the plates being removed and he leant back in his chair, wincing a little at a twinge in his ribs.

"Can I get you anything else, Sir?"

"I don't suppose we have anything that can be stuck on the top of a grapefruit half do we?"

"I imagine so, Sir, if you would be prepared to wait for a little while, so that I can check."

"Do you think you could pass me the paper while I wait?"

"Certainly, would you like it open on the sports pages?"

"Yes, please, Michael, and thank you again."

Steve had been reading contentedly for about ten minutes when he heard a throat clear. As he turned he saw the grapefruit half on a plate. On the skewers were pieces of some sort of cake.

"This is Danish pastry, Sir. I realise that you know that, but it is the only cake that I could think of that would not dissolve into crumbs on a stick."

"Thank you, Michael." Steve leant forward and took one of the squares of cake into his mouth, and then he returned to the article he was reading in the paper. Once he had finished eating he moved the plate to the edge of the table with one of his hands and then he stood by it with one hand, palm up, in line with the surface and used the other one to slowly push the plate onto his hand. He then placed the other hand over the skewers and headed for the kitchen. 

"Michael, I'm afraid that I can't actually put this back down, but I thought that it was about time I started to help myself a little."

"Thank you, Sir." Michael turned round and took the plate and its contents out of his grasp and left them on the draining board. "What do you normally do in the afternoon, Sir, only if you aren't too busy I thought maybe a game of chess?"

"Ok, I haven't played for ages. That would be nice. How about we set it up on the deck and enjoy the sunshine?"

By the time Mark got home at seven, Steve had decided never to play chess, checkers, backgammon or any game which needed a small amount of skill with the British manservant ever again. He had been beaten at everything except checkers once, and he still wasn't sure if that hadn't been pity on Michael's part. He was particularly annoyed that he had continued to lose even when Michael had offered him strategic advice, and would have thought sabotage, except that he knew Michael could soundly beat him any time he wanted and had absolutely no need to cheat. Still, he was in the best mood he had been in since his accident and he knew that it was all down to Jo and Michael.

"Michael, can I ask you a question?"

"Certainly, Sir."

"Did you know in advance you were coming to stay with me? Or was it a surprise when Jo arrived home today?"

"I received a phone call yesterday just after lunch, and she said that she would be coming home today for new clothes, she wasn't sure if she would come straight back, or if she would let me have a 'go at you' I believe she said."

"She is a very clever lady." Steve smiled.

"She sure is, Son. She had you worked out from the first time she met you." Mark smiled. He had come into the house about five minutes before, and had been listening to the conversation from the hallway.

"She didn't actually. She thought I was a sleazy detective who came on to all his female suspects… Hey!" Steve belatedly realised what his dad was saying but he was feeling so good now, he had to join in the laugh at his own expense until his ribs ached so bad it hurt to draw breath.

"Son?" Mark inquired with some concern as he gently laid a hand on Steve's shoulder.

Steve waved him off, but not so rudely as had been his habit lately. "I'm ok, Dad," he gasped. Taking a moment to gain control of his breathing, "I just haven't laughed for so long in a while and I didn't realize my ribs were still so sore."

The rest of the evening passed in amiable company. The three men watched the sports on TV and sent out for pizza. Steve even let himself be fed; agreeing with both Michael and his dad that pizza in little squares on a grapefruit wasn't quite the thing with football and beer.

Once the crying had subsided a little Jesse had moved over towards the bed. Rae was lying with her back to him. He touched her on the shoulder and she turned to him, he could see her eyes were red and puffy. "Honey, why didn't you tell me about the baby?"

"Because I was afraid that I had killed it when I dived into the water. But Alex did a test for me and told me that I was still pregnant. Once I knew that everything was still alright I told Alex that I didn't want it mentioned not even in passing again to anyone until I said so."

"And that is why you want to go home, you want to leave me here and bring up our baby thousands of miles away?" Jesse suddenly felt his anger rise.

"No, but I feel that maybe it would be the safest thing to do. Jesse, I don't know if I am coming or going right now. I'm a cop living in a dangerous city and I am carrying your child. Can you imagine what would have happened if I had been pregnant when Levington was stalking me?" She shuddered. "That man felt he owned me."  She had no idea what he would do if he knew that she was carrying someone else's child.

Jesse moved over to her and took her into his arms. "Honey, I can't tell you to stay here, but I can ask. If it means you'll stay then I'll beg, I want to be with you forever." 

"And you don't mind about the baby?" Rae looked at him with concern in her eyes. They had never discussed having a family and she had no idea if he wanted to be a part of one."

"I want to be part of a proper family more than anything in the world, you, a baby and me; it would be the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me. Please don't ever doubt that." He gently placed his finger under her chin and moved her head so that she was looking at him. "I love you." He began to run his fingers through her hair and he felt her begin to move her hands on his back. "Mmm, Honey, just how pregnant are you?"

"I'm not sure, that is why I was so worried. Maybe about two months, why?"

"Nothing, I just wondered, before I got too carried away."

"Shhh, it's fine." Rae began to kiss him then, and all the worries of the day slipped away. 

Levington had moved into his new accommodations just after two o'clock, and now he was sat in his family room watching the football highlights from the previous weekend. It was a strangely set out house, but it suited his purpose. It had only one visible storey, and the kitchen was at the front, a family room behind that and then the one bedroom and bathroom behind that again. The house looked like it had been knocked over on its side in the last big quake. It had come furnished, and there was a double bed and some tatty looking closets in the bedroom, a brown suite, a TV and a dining table in the lounge and everything he needed except a washing machine in the kitchen. But the thing that had appealed to him was the fact that it had a cellar, it would serve his purposes very well.  He had been shopping and added some items of his own and as he drank his beer his spirits soared.

His mother had called him just half an hour ago to let him know that she had done everything that he had asked her, and that as soon as he needed her she would be there, ready and waiting to carry out his orders. By Saturday everything that needed to be organised would be sorted out. Phil looked at the list he had written. Most of the items on it had been crossed out. There were just a few more left. Things that had to be done at the last minute and couldn't be rushed, it was the little details that made something special.  He leant back in his chair and grinned, there was no doubt in Phil's mind that this time nothing could go wrong.


	13. Chapter 13 Tenderness and Terror

One of my wonderful beta readers gave me some extra ideas for this part. Thank you J, you helped make it a better chapter.

Tenderness and Terror 

Friday morning dawned bright and warm, and as Jesse rolled over in bed he smiled and began to think over the plan for the day in his mind. As he lay there his eyes never strayed from Rae's face. She was still fast asleep, and he knew that she would probably be so for a long while yet. There was no doubt that she was a home bird. He knew from what she had told him that her upbringing had been happy and content, and that she had always felt the safest inside her own home, he guessed that was still the case.

They were different in so many ways, and yet neither one of them was complete without the other. He closed his eyes again as his thoughts began to wander over their lives. She had been born in London, she had three sisters, and although they were now living on different sides of the world and she didn't talk about them much, he knew that she wrote to them regularly, normally by e-mail, and eagerly awaited their replies. His mother lived much closer, in Minneapolis St Paul, and yet it would take a minor miracle to have her write to him, let alone call. He had no brothers or sisters to contact, he regretted it sometimes, but he had Steve and Amanda and they more than made up for that.

As for his dad, well, it had been a bit of a shock to find out that the mild mannered accountant was really a secret agent. _Guess that makes me son of superman, or something_ but it wasn't the sort of thing you could boast about at Bob's. He stopped thinking as he saw Rae shift in her sleep. Her face was at peace, and he knew that her dreams were being kind to her.

Dreams, he wondered what she had dreamt of as a child. He had a feeling it had included excitement and adventure, but with a strong base to return to. Now it was up to him to provide that for her. He hoped that once the baby was born she wouldn't go back to being a cop, but he wouldn't force it either way. He knew being a mom changed people, being a dad too. His thoughts all stopped then except one. I'm going to be a dad! I'M GONNA BE A DAD.

"I know you are, Honey, but could you keep the noise down, you'll wake the baby before it's born!" Rae turned with a sleepy smile on her face, her voice still thick from the dreams she had been pulled from.

"Rae, oh, I am so sorry, I didn't realise I spoke aloud. But I am, I'm gonna be a dad. I can't believe it happened… Rae, how did it happen?"

"Ok, well, first of all you have this little sperm …"

"No, stupid! How did you get pregnant, I thought you were on the pill." Jesse looked at her with concern on his face, maybe she didn't want to be pregnant, he hadn't asked her if she was ok with having a child, _her fourth remember_.

"I was, but when I was injured, when Donovan… Well you know what he did. I stopped taking them. I kept forgetting, and so in the end … well you weren't with me anymore, so I had no need to take them. I just never started up again."

Jesse looked at her and he knew he had to ask. "Rae, do **you** want this baby?"

"Jesse!"

"Well, it seems to have screwed your life up already, and it isn't gonna make an appearance for months. I need to know if you want to have our baby or not." Rae leant over him and began to kiss him, but he pushed her away. "Stop evading the issue, I need to know. Rae, am I the only one who wants this baby?"

"No, Jess, you aren't the only one. I want to have your baby, and I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I just worry that the rest of my life may not be as long as I would like it to be." Rae paused, she couldn't allow herself to think like that and then she began to smile. "We are gonna be a family, Jesse, a mum a dad and a baby. You and me. Oh, Jesse." This time when she began to kiss him he didn't push her away, he had his answer, and it was all he needed to know.

It was just after eight when Martin heard the thud of the mail as it fell on his mat. He got out of bed and wandered out into the living area and picked it up. There was one letter, addressed to 'Mr. M. Anderson' he opened it carefully and then unfolded the single sheet of paper inside.

Your van will be parked at Franklin Canyon Reservoir, off Coldwater Canyon at four am Monday morning. Be there, the van will be gone by five.

Taped to the letter was a key, which was obviously to a truck and also a smaller key. There were no instructions, so Martin took out his key chain and attached them to it. Then as there was no chance of him getting back to sleep he went and changed into his running kit and decided to pound the streets for a while.

Not long after the mail arrived for Martin, Steve felt a hand on his shoulder. "Sir, it is ten past eight, and breakfast is served."

"What, what?" Steve opened his eyes, and as he had done every morning since his accident tried to rub them before remembering that he couldn't. As always it started his day off badly and he turned to the man standing next to his bed. "What? Ten past eight and you expect me to get up! What do I have to get up for? Nothing. Now go away and leave me alone."

"If that is the way you wish it to be, Sir, then that is what I will do. Your father has just left for work, and I will have to be leaving in half an hour too."

"Leaving, why are you leaving? You are supposed to be looking after me, remember?" Steve knew he sounded like a spoilt child, but right now he didn't care.

"I am running two households at the moment, Sir. I need to get back to Beverley Hills so that I can make sure that Miss Josephine is all right. So as I said before, it is ten past eight, and breakfast is served, Sir." Michael took two steps back from the bed and stood impassively.

Steve fumed. How dare this English stuffed shirt tell him what to do in his own home? "Well you just go ahead and run back to Miss Josephine then, I can manage just fine without you, Michael!" Steve watched as Michael turned smartly round and left the room. He eased himself out of bed and moved stiffly over to the bottom of the stairs. He was still sore from the beating he had taken, and, until he got moving, it hurt to get up in the mornings. Looking up the stairs, he saw Michael walk to the top, take his car keys from his pocket and leave the house. Steve leant back on the wall, he couldn't believe it. He was alone, what the hell was he supposed to do now?

Rae and Jesse were lying in each other's arms and just enjoying the feeling of being close to each other when Rae suddenly realised that she was going to be sick. "Sorry, Jesse, I have to go." She got up and raced to the bathroom, and Jesse could hear her retching and coughing. He got out of bed himself and moved over to the door.

"Honey, is there anything I can get for you, a glass of water maybe?"

Rae picked up the beaker from the side of the basin and held it out. Taking that to be a yes Jesse took it from her and went out into the kitchen. He filled it from a bottle in the refrigerator and went back to her.

Rae came out of the bathroom and sat down on the bed. "And there was me thinking I was gonna get away with it this time. Urghh, I hate being pregnant."

"Rae! You don't mean that do you?" Jesse looked horrified.

"No, actually I don't, not once the first three months are over, and the last month hasn't started yet, it's quite nice. I think I will be all right now. I'm not normally sick, but I have been so uptight and worried I guess it was relief too." Rae drank half of the water and then handed the glass back to Jesse.

"We call it the first trimester, but you don't do you?" Jesse had a smile on his face now.

"Oh, right, no we don't, what a stupid name. I guess the care will be different too won't it?"

"Yeah, probably. I guess this will be Alex's first baby, for his own patient, I mean." Jesse smiled, he was very impressed that Alex had said nothing about the baby, not that he would let him know that of course. "Do you think you are up to going out and doing things today?" Jesse looked at Rae. She seemed to have her colour back now, and she didn't look so different than she normally did first thing in the morning.

"Yeah, I think so, as long as it doesn't involve bungee jumping or stock car racing!"

"Good, because I have plans. But we had better have breakfast first, and no more of that yucky yoghurt drink and an apple business, you are eating for two now, I expect you to have a bowl of cereal, a glass of orange juice and some whole wheat toast. Ok?"

"Great. I knew I should have kept this from you until it was born." Rae stuck her tongue out at him as she began to rise off the bed.

"Hey, I'm a doctor, I think I might have noticed something wasn't quite right."

"Actually, I was afraid of that. I thought you would work it out before I told you." Rae smiled at him then and moved close to him once more. "I really really want to have your baby, Jesse. More than anything else in the world. I'm sorry that I shut you out, but I was, am, scared for the little mite. Do you forgive me?"

"Honey, right now I could forgive you anything." He pulled her close and began to kiss her and run his hands through her hair. He found her extremely sexy anyway, but somehow the fact that she was carrying his child made her even more so. "Oh, God, Rae, I need you now, right now."

"Shhh, I know, I need you too. Rae began to run her fingers down his body and he collapsed back on to the bed. She lay over him so that she could feel his hardness against her and kissed his face, starting with his eyes and moving everywhere except his lips until she could feel him begin to squirm.

"Rae, kiss me, Honey, properly." His eyes opened in surprise as she did just that, and he felt her tongue almost explode in his mouth. Then just as suddenly as it had started she was gone, and he could feel her tongue working its way down his chest. He moved his hands up and placing them on her shoulders he pushed her back onto the bed, his passion taking over his actions and he began to play with her breasts, until it was Rae who was having trouble keeping still.

"Jesse, oh, my… now, Jesse, please." Rae raised herself up to him and he gently and slowly entered her. "No, Jesse, don't be too gentle, we won't break, I promise." He couldn't help himself anyway, and before long they were moving as one, and as finally they collapsed onto the bed Rae knew that whatever happened in the future, the three of them belonged together.

Bernice Levington walked up the drive to the little house her son had told her he had rented and smiled. He was doing very well for himself. A house already and he had only been out of jail for a few days. Still he had always been determined, even as a child he had known just what he wanted and had gone all out to get it. She put her suitcase down and rang the bell.

Phil was in the bedroom making sure that the double bed was clean and freshly made. He had just checked that everything he needed was in the closet when he heard the bell.

"Mama. Come in, quickly, I have missed you." He smiled a genuine smile at the woman standing before him, and leant over and picked up her case. "I guess you have everything you need in here? Sorry, of course you do, when have you ever let me down?"

"Never, I hope. Now, I have contacted Marlene and she and Chucky will be here later. Chucky will bring his video camera just as you asked and Marlene said to tell you that her new car is just dandy, and real fast and that she would let you know whether everything was still the same as soon as she knew herself."

"Wonderful, then I think almost everything is ready. I just need to go a do a little shopping, would you like to come with me, Mama?" Phil looked at her and then took her hand in his.

"Of course, my baby. Let Mama get her purse." Bernice Levington was a small, brown haired woman, and she didn't look much older than her son, but she was dressed in a grey tweed skirt and a lilac two-piece jumper set with pearls around her neck. Phil just loved it when she dressed like that, it reminded him of his teacher in sixth grade. It had been such a shame that she had left just after he had discovered how much he liked her, and he knew that she had felt the same way. Still he'd known he would find her again, and now he had. His beloved Rae was almost identical to look at, and he knew that the years would have changed her some. Soon he would be with his childhood sweetheart once again.

The shopping mall was quite crowded when they got there, and it took Phil and Bernice a while to find the store they were looking for. But soon they were inside and she was running her hands through the racks of dresses trying to find one that would be suitable, without costing too much. "How about this one, would your honey like this do you think?" She held up a white dress with smocking across the top.

"No, Mama, I was thinking more like cream. She is used goods, I have to remember that."

"Yeah, I guess you do. Ok, cream it is then." Bernice dived back into the dresses, and a few minutes later returned triumphant with a cream two-piece suit in her arms. "How about this then?"

Phil looked at the outfit his mother was holding up. He could see his Rae wearing it; it was just the right thing. "Mama, I knew you would find what I wanted. That will be just perfect. Thank you."

"Ok, then, I will go pay for this, and then perhaps Mama could buy her baby an ice cream on the way home, what do you say?" Bernice smiled at him. All she wanted was for her little boy to be happy. But the last two tramps he'd loved, well they just weren't good enough for him, and she had sent them packing. Nobody had ever heard from them again. 

Rae had fallen asleep on the bed after she and Jesse had made love, and Jesse had tenderly covered her over with the duvet and set about putting his plans into action. He had gone back to his apartment quickly and taken the basket and the things he had bought once he knew that he would be on vacation and Rae would be home from the hospital, then he had returned to Rae's kitchen. As she had slept on, he had made up a picnic basket, which contained all her favourite things. Then he had fed Kira and tidied up the place for her. It was now just coming up to midday and he knew that he needed to wake her.

"Honey, it's time to wake up, if we don't go out now, it won't be worth going." Jesse was kissing her gently in her hair as he spoke.

"Mmm, what…? Hey, daddy, come here." She pulled him towards her, but Jesse planted his hands firmly on the bed one each side of her.

"We can't spend the day in bed, come on you need to get up, we have places to go." Jesse grinned at her, and she knew that her lazy Friday was over.

Half an hour later Rae was wearing a pair of slightly baggy jeans and a beautiful peacock blue silk shirt that she had bought a couple of weeks earlier. She had seen it in the window of a store when she had been returning from her stakeout one night, and had rushed back the next day to buy it. It felt wonderful against her skin, and she just loved the colour. She walked out into the living area hoping that Jesse would like it too.

"Wow. Come here, what a great shirt." He put his hands one on each arm and she felt his heat through the material. "I bet it will slide off real nice later." He winked at her, and then moved behind her and put his hands over her eyes. "Ok, we are leaving now. Will you promise to behave and not peek in the basket?" He felt her head as it nodded and so he took his hands away.

Rae was as good as her word, or her nod, and as they walked out into the hallway together she didn't try to glance inside. There was a small dark haired woman standing just outside the main entrance and Jesse let her in before they exited. Still Rae ignored the hamper and she let Jesse put it in the back of Tom without once trying to see inside. "I guess we are having a picnic then. I can say that much can't I?"

"Yes, I figured you would work that bit out. But I am not saying anything more, ok?"

Rae nodded and they headed off into the light traffic both enjoying themselves immensely. Jesse because he knew exactly what was going to happen, and Rae because she didn't.

Steve had stayed in his apartment staring in disbelief in the empty rooms around him. He was alone. He hadn't been alone since his accident, apart from when he was asleep. Now what was he supposed to do? He looked at his pants lying on the chair taunting him; his shirt was in a heap on the floor, doing the same thing. He guessed he could call someone so that they would come help him, he didn't want to have to ask for help yet again, but right now he couldn't see any other option.

For a moment, fear set in. He was alone and helpless. He couldn't even dress himself. What would he do if something serious happened? He felt his heart pounding in his chest, and then, suddenly, the fear was gone and he was angry. At himself. He should have been more co-operative with Michael. It was his own fault he was stuck in this situation, dammit, and now he had to deal with it. The first order of business was to get dressed, although he had no real idea how to do that.

In the end he had gone to his closet and pulled things out with his teeth until he had found a pair of baggy joggers. He had dumped them on the floor and then placed his feet in them and fiddled about until he could get them out the ends. Then he had squatted down and placed his big clumsy hands inside under the waistband and slowly step-by-step managed to pull them up his legs. They weren't on properly now, but at least he was reasonably decent. The t-shirt had been surprisingly easy compared to the pants. He had slid his hands into the body of the shirt and out the sleeves. Then he had manoeuvred it over his head and on. Gravity had taken over then and it had fallen into place. Now he was sitting on the side of the bed exhausted, furious, and feeling sorry for himself. His ribs were hurting again too, which was really getting to him.

Nobody seemed to realise just how frustrating his life had become. He was a grown man, a fit and active man reduced to playing checkers with blu-tack on his fingers so he could lift the pieces. He couldn't wash himself, clean his own teeth, everything he did was reliant on somebody else, and they obviously felt that he should be sweetness and light the whole time. Jo should have realised that and treated him with a bit more respect, Michael too. 

Suddenly something he had heard as a child came back to him. Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you. He took a deep breath. He had been short tempered and ungrateful. Not that he would admit it to anybody. Damn, if he wanted to eat or drink ever again, he was going to have to admit it to at least one person. He moved over to his phone and hit the loudspeaker button and then memory one and waited.

Jo had been speechless when Michael had arrived home that morning, and it was all he had been able to do to stop her leaping in her car and driving straight over to the beach house.

"Madam, if you don't mind me saying," he had said, "he will ring you, it may take a while, but he will. By lunchtime he will be hungry, thirsty…" 

"An' madder than a nest full of hornets!" Jo had to finish the sentence for him, even though she knew she would get frowned at for doing it. She was right.

"Yes, thank you, Madam."

"So what are we gonna do now? Just leave him there?" Jo was feeling more and more guilty by the minute.

"Madam, you told me that the Lieutenant was behaving so badly that it was making you resent him. That is wrong. I will return to the beach house in about an hour when I have finished my work here. I would suggest that you return tomorrow, then maybe the two of you can have a talk and settle things between you."

"Well, if you're sure, maybe I could come with you an' have a little talk with him now." 

"It is up to you, but I think that you need a break from each other, and this way you will know he is being cared for while you care for yourself."

"Ok, Michael, just one day, I could sure do with some time to myself. I will just call him though, that would be ok, wouldn't it?" Jo was pleased when she saw him nod his head and she moved over to the phone in the hallway. As she got closer it began to ring. "Hello?"

"Jo?"

"Steve. Honey are you alright?"

"Yeah, I guess so. I think we need to talk." 

"I know, but not today, I have things to do. Michael will be back over later an' he will get you some brunch then. Steve, I love you, but I can't carry on the way we were. I'll see you tomorrow." Jo put the phone down before he could answer her and walked away down the hallway and out into the garden. It was a beautiful day and she would have liked to spend it on the beach with Steve, but she knew that Michael was right. She had arrived at the side of the pool now, and so she sat and dangled her feet in the water. Maybe she would get Steve to come over here tomorrow and he could stay. He could sit and do as she was, and they could just relax and enjoy each other's company. With that thought in her mind she headed back in towards the kitchen so that she could look through some cook books and find things that would go well on grapefruit halves.

Steve's heart sank when he heard the phone go dead. He knew that it was his fault, and that he deserved everything he got, but it hurt more than he could imagine knowing that she didn't want to come see him today.

Rae had realised where they were going about ten minutes before they arrived. As they drew into the Lake Shrine parking lot she had a wide smile on her face and Jesse could see that she was just delighted to be there.

They walked hand in hand into the gardens and wandered happily along the pathways until they found a quiet and secluded spot. Rae sat down on the grass and leant over towards the basket.

"Ah, ah! No touching. I will do it, it's my picnic, I want to do this for you." Jesse leant over and kissed her on the lips and then he straightened back up. He got down onto the grass next to her and began to lay a tablecloth out. Then two plates appeared, a set of cutlery each, two wine glasses and a small salt and pepper set. Jesse carefully set everything out on the cloth and then he smiled at her.

"Jesse, this looks lovely, but what are we going to eat?" She smiled as Jesse covered his mouth with a hand in mock horror. He put his hand back in the basket and three covered bowls appeared. "Can I help you by taking the tops off these? Only otherwise I get a feeling that I am gonna have to wash up and I have to tell you it is very bad for pregnant ladies to wash the dishes!"

Jesse stuck his tongue out at her, and then lifted the covers off. There was a small bowl of salad, just lettuce, tomatoes and scallions, although he knew that Rae called them spring onions. The next dish had smoked salmon done up in little rolls with thinly sliced cucumber slid in next to each roll, and the final dish had jumbo shrimp. Then he put his hands back in the basket for the final time and took out two bread rolls.

"Wow, how wonderful, thank you, Jesse, all my favourite things. You must have planned this for a few days, this wasn't just done this morning was it?"

"No, Honey, and that is real important to me, that you know that this whole picnic and outing was planned as soon as I knew we would have some time to spend together. But first we need to eat."

"Ok." Rae looked puzzled, but she picked up a roll and then put some salad and salmon on her plate.

"Oh, I almost forgot." Jesse took a bottle of non-alcoholic wine and poured two glasses. He picked one of them up and handed it to Rae, and then he lifted the other. "To us. All three of us." They clinked their glasses and began to eat their meal. 

The shopping trip had finished in the ice cream parlour, just as Phil had known it would. His Mama always bought him ice cream when she was pleased with her purchases. Now they were back home and they had listened to his Aunty Marlene's message on his cell phone telling him that everything was just as it had been, and that the plans were all in place.

The outfit they had bought was hanging on one of the closet doors so that the creases could fall out. His Mama had unpacked her things and they were all neatly stacked in the family room, just out of sight on the floor next to the sofa. They had decided that the two of them would go for a meal out in the evening, it had been a long time since they had been able to do that, and it would make the time pass a little quicker.

There was a nice Italian restaurant just down the block from where they were living, and he knew that his Mama liked pizza, and they did wonderful ice cream desserts. Once they had made their mind up on what they were doing his Mama had fallen asleep on the sofa and he had gone into the bedroom. He was now lying on the bed looking over at her outfit. He could imagine her wearing it. Her beautiful eyes shining as she looked at him. Her hand in his. Wonderful, it would be a wonderful day.

Rae lay back on the grass. The meal had been delicious, there had been strawberries for dessert and she had delighted in feeding them to Jesse. Now she was just enjoying the sun on her body, and the happy thoughts wandering around her mind. She had been so worried about telling Jesse that she was pregnant, but he had been pleased. She could tell that he was more pleased than he was letting on, she knew that he had kept his feelings a little reserved because he was worried about her. She was worried about herself too, and she resolved to go see Brian next week and talk things over with him. She felt Jesse's hand on hers and opened her eyes.

"Rae, sit up, Sweetie, please." He took her hands and helped her up. "I need you to know that all of this was planned before you came out of the hospital."

"I know that, Honey, you already told me. Why is that so important to you?" Rae frowned, she hadn't gotten it the first time he said it. She still didn't. She looked at him and her eyes became big. Suddenly she understood. Jesse was in front of her, kneeling, but only on one knee.

"Rae, I love you with all my heart. Every part of me is yours if you want it, I would lay my life down if I knew it meant you could carry on living happily and healthily. Rae, Honey, will you marry me, please?"

Rae's hand had covered her mouth as he began to speak. He could see tears in her eyes, and as he opened the small black jewellers box and handed it to her they spilt and ran down her cheeks.

"Oh, Jesse." Her voice was a whisper. She looked at the ring in the box. It was a square cut sapphire with two smaller diamonds one either side. It was on a platinum band, which meant it would match with the silver bangle and watch she always wore. She handed the box back to him. "Oh, Jess, yes, yes, yes."

He took the ring out of the box and gently taking her left hand in his slid the ring onto her finger, it was a perfect fit. He leant over and kissed her on the lips, gently and tenderly and then he pulled back. "I'm having the best two days of my entire life. Thank you, Rae."

"Jesse, I don't know what to say, you just said it all. But I love you more than I ever thought possible. I… I, I just love you, Jesse." She got up then and standing on the level ground, with her arms out horizontally from her sides spun round and round. "Wheeeeee, Oh, Jesse, I just want to shout from the rooftops. I want everybody to know that I just got engaged to the most wonderful man in the entire world, and I am carrying his baby. Wheeeee…. Whoah." She felt Jesse place his arms around her, and she sank to the ground and onto his lap. "Ooh, maybe that wasn't such a smart thing to do."

"Honey, when was the last time you purposely made yourself dizzy?" Jesse was smiling but there was concern in his eyes. Rae shrugged. "Probably when you were still walking to school, am I right?" This time Rae nodded. "Come on, let's get home, we have a reservation tonight at our favourite Mexican restaurant, eight o'clock. And I thought…"

"You thought what?" Rae looked at him, his eyes were glinting.

"I thought we could go into the newspaper office on the way home and put an announcement in. What do you think?"

"Oh, right… Yes, what a wonderful idea. Then I could send it to my mother, and everybody would know just how happy I am." 

They started to pack up the picnic things then and soon everything was back in the basket. As they walked slowly back to the car Rae let go of Jesse's hand and looked at her ring. She let the sunlight play across it and saw it sparkle and shimmer. She leant over and kissed him as he walked beside her. "Thank you, Jesse, it's beautiful. I just love it."

"And I just love you, you have made me the happiest man in the world by saying yes to me. Thank you, Rae."

"Jesse, could we stop at the mall do you think? I would like to buy you a ring too. A signet ring or something like that. Please."

"Honey, I would have to keep taking it off all the time when I was working. Can we sort something out later? Go shopping when we don't have other things to plan?"

"Ok, but I will get you something. I don't think it could ever be as nice as my ring, but I will try."

They were back at the car by the time they finished talking and Rae opened the door and got behind the wheel. Jesse put the basket in the back and then he sat down and took her hand and kissed it just the once before Rae drew Tom back out into the traffic.

They stopped off at the newspaper office on the way home, and arranged for an announcement to appear the next morning, and then headed back home to get changed for their meal out. Jesse had time to think while Rae had been driving. He turned to look at Rae, her face full of the concentration she needed to weave her way through the Friday afternoon traffic. He sighed, there had been a lot of bumps and bruises since they first met, but he felt that together they could face anything.  Soon Tom drew up in the parking lot and they walked hand in hand into their apartment block.

"Honey, let's just stop and pick up my clean stuff, then we can move on to your place." Jesse smiled at her and kissed her gently on the nose. He didn't want to lose sight of her, not even for a minute, not today.

Rae clearly felt the same because she just smiled and waited while he unlocked his door. While Jesse rummaged around for something clean and presentable Rae sat on the side of the bed slowly turning her engagement ring round and round on her finger. It really was the most wonderful thing she had ever received in her whole life. Suddenly she stood up and moving quietly over to where Jesse's head was hidden in the closet grabbed him from behind, swung him round and deposited him on the bed. 

"Hey, mm mmm." Jesse stopped talking as Rae's lips found his, and began to run his fingers through her hair. After a few minutes they moved apart, "Oh, Rae, I love you." Jesse's eyes were bright with the emotion of the day so far; he just couldn't wait to share all their news with everybody else as soon as possible.

"I know, and I love you, more than I ever dreamed it was possible to love anyone." Rae snuggled up beside him and let her body mould around him. "Jess?"

"Mmm." Getting engaged had obviously robbed him of the power of coherent thought or speech, but he knew he didn't need to say anything.

"Let's not share, not yet. We told everybody we were going to have the long weekend together, let's wait until Tuesday to tell, please."

"Sure, Honey, but why, I thought you said you wanted to shout it from the rooftops." Jesse smiled as he remembered her reaction in the gardens.

"I know, but now, while we are here, just you and me I like the privacy, the intimacy the specialness of just us knowing. My whole life since I got here seems to have made the papers. Oh, I know that some of this has too, and if Mark, or Amanda, or maybe Steve and Texas see the announcement then fine, they can contact us and we will share, but if they don't, can we wait 'til Tuesday, please?"

Jesse smiled at her. She had managed, it seemed to him, to put her problems away where they couldn't harm her, he had no intention of doing or saying anything to break the spell they were under right now, so he just nodded.

"Thank you, now come here." She stood up then, and pulled his t-shirt out from his pants, and as she casually threw it to the ground with one hand, her other was already caressing his chest, and soon he could feel her move her fingers over the buttons on his jeans. There was an urgency to her actions, and he began to mirror it, the beautiful silk shirt that she had worn was soon just a heap of material mixed in with denim, cotton and all the other materials their clothes of choice had been made of. Now there was just bare skin, and the feel of her against him began to send him higher and higher. 

"Rae," He put his finger to her lips where they were making small kisses on his shoulder and she stopped. He rolled towards her and slowly pushed her so that she was the one laying waiting for him to caress her. Then he began to trace delicate patterns across her body with his fingertips, and he felt her slip back into the mattress as if all the bones in her body had just melted away. As he moved down towards the hairs curling invitingly between her legs, he looked up and smiled wickedly. "And there was me thinking you were a natural blonde." His words seemed to break the spell that she was under and he felt her move her hands into his hair and pull him back up towards her. 

"Smart Alec" was all she said before her tongue was in his mouth and her feelings of passion began to work on him once again. He surrendered to the sensations as their bodies began to rock together.

After a little while he moved away from her again, but this time it was so that he could enter her. The movements began again almost instantly, and they mirrored each other's actions until the inevitable happened, and together they sealed their day in the best way possible.

The next morning, Phil Levington got up and went out for an early morning paper. He had been unable to sleep, and so as soon as it had got light he had begun to run along his normal route. He picked up a paper on his return journey and then as he drank down his black coffee his eyes travelled expertly over the paper looking for the name that he always managed to spot. It wasn't until he had gotten to the announcements section and was just checking to see if anybody he knew had died that he saw it.

_'Reagan Yeager and Jesse Travis are delighted to let all their friends and family know that they have finally decided to announce their engagement. Thanks go to everybody who has been so loving and supportive over the last difficult months. Stay with us, the best is yet to come.'_

With a howl he ripped at the page and then threw the paper across the room. His coffee went flying with it and he slammed his fist down on the tabletop. "How dare she, how dare she do that to me. And him, he is dead. You are dead Travis, do you hear me?"

Slowly he began to get himself back under control. He needed to speak to his mother, all the plans were made, and he just needed to get things started.

Jesse had also got up early and left Rae sleeping in her apartment. He went quickly and happily down to the newspaper stand and bought a paper. Then he drove round past a deli he knew opened very early and bought croissant and Danish pastries for breakfast. By the time he got back to the apartment building he was humming to himself happily.

He let himself in and walked into the kitchen. He began to set the food out onto the tray that he knew Rae kept by the sink. By the time the croissant had warmed under the grill there was orange juice, apricot jam, butter and plates and knives waiting to be carried into the next room. He moved over and peeked round the door. The sheets were awry, and Rae was nowhere to be seen.

"Rae, honey?"

He moved through to the bathroom to see if she was showering. Not only was the room empty, but there was no sign she had even been there. With a puzzled frown, he wondered if she had woken to find him missing and decided to look for him at his own place. He walked back through the bedroom; feeling confused, and didn't even notice that her clothes were still on the floor.

Rae had been lying in that wonderful state between waking and sleeping when she had felt someone move the air beside her. She became aware of movement on her skin and as she sleepily opened her eyes, she saw Phillip Levington glaring down at her.

His hand came quickly over her mouth to silence her and in a harsh whisper, he warned her, "Scream and I'll kill you, and when your new fiancée…" he said the word with disdain, "comes to your rescue, I'll kill him, too, understand?" Her terror rose as she felt Levington shove the barrel of a gun against her chin.

Carefully, Rae nodded, and slowly, Levington removed his hand, but the gun was still firmly dug against her jaw.

"Good," he said. "Very good. I like my women to be obedient."

He began to caress her cheek with the barrel of the gun.  "I still had the keys I made to this place. I figured you might have changed the locks, but Big Dave taught me how to pick them while I was in prison. You really should consider a floor-mounted security device. That would keep unwanted visitors out. They wouldn't even be able to kick the door in."

He grabbed her by the arm, then and yanked her roughly out of bed. She stood there a moment, with him leering at her, and resisted the urge to cover herself with her hands.

_Do not anger him_ she told herself. _Do nothing to set him off, or you are as good as dead. _"Wh-what do you want?"

"You." He said sweetly. "Haven't you figured it out yet?"  Keeping the gun trained on her he rummaged in her closet for some clothes then he moved to her underwear drawer, where he picked up each pair and touched them before either discarding them or putting them in his pocket. Thrusting a bundle into her hands, he said, "Get dressed," and he stood there watching as she did just that.

"What have you done with Jesse?" she asked as she finished dressing. She saw stars and stifled a scream as he smacked her across the face with the gun and she fell to the floor.

"Don't you ever, _ever_ mention his name again," he seethed. "He wasn't here, unfortunately. If he was, I would have killed him."

Levington pulled her up and close to him, then with the barrel of the gun pressed firmly to the base of her skull, he forced her out of the door and down the hall.

Rae felt herself wanting to cry. Why had Jesse left her? Only yesterday he had promised never to do that again.

Having gone back to his place and failing to find Rae there, Jesse stepped back out into the hall, muttering to himself, and wondering what to do next. From round the corner at the end of the hallway, he heard a muffled grunt, a soft scuffle, and a thump, and saw the potted palm at the end of the hall fall to the floor. He moved cautiously toward it.

Just as they had gotten to the end of the hall, Rae and Levington heard Jesse, humming loudly to himself, as he entered from the stairwell at the other end. Not having time to close the final distance to the elevator, Levington instead pulled her round the corner and covered her mouth with his hand. They both listened intently as Jesse let himself into the apartment, then for a few minutes they heard nothing. Rae tried to struggle when she faintly heard Jesse calling her name inside the apartment, but Levington held her more tightly to himself, with the barrel of the gun digging hard into her skull again and said, "I _will_ kill you both."

She stood quietly then, her heart pounding in her chest, praying for an opportune moment to run. They heard Jesse come out of her apartment and enter his own, and moments later he came out again, and they could hear him muttering.

Levington chose just that moment to get curious and try to sneak a peek at his other prey, and Rae felt the gun slip away from the base of her skull. She saw Levington's hand, gun at the ready, come round her body to point down the hall, and as he tried to turn her to see what Jesse was doing, she took advantage of the opportunity. Simultaneously biting the hand that covered her mouth and grabbing for his weapon with one hand while she elbowed him in the ribs with the other arm, Rae did everything she could to fight him off.

Struggling silently for several seconds, she did break free for a moment only to stumble into the potted palm at the corner of the hall and knock it down. Then Levington grabbed her by the back of the shirt and swung her round.

Giving her own fight up for lost, she managed to scream, "Jesse, _run_!" Then she reached the end of the arc Levington had swung her in and she slammed into the wall. She saw stars once again as the wind was knocked from her, and then everything seemed to go into slow motion.

When Jesse heard Rae scream at him to run, he had done just that, only he had run toward her, not away, and he skidded round the corner to find Philip Levington standing over Rae with a gun pointed at her head.


	14. Chapter 14 'Til Death

'Til Death 

 "Well, well, if it isn't Doctor Travis. I should have killed you when I had the chance." He raised the gun and levelled it at Jesse's heart.

"No!" Rae screamed out, she was so terrified that she couldn't move. Levington crouched down and grabbed her roughly by the arm. 

"Stand up!" He hauled her up and somehow she managed to keep her balance. "Back to the apartment, both of you." They both walked down the hall trying desperately to work out how they could get away from this mad man.

"Now, my beloved, where are your handcuffs?" he said as they entered the front room.

"Go to hell, Levington." Rae suddenly found her voice and wished she hadn't as she felt his hand pull back hard on her hair.

"I think I like this long haired look, there is so much more for me to run my fingers through!"  Jesse moved towards him, fury etched on his face. Levington raised the gun once more.  "Stay where you are, doctor. Now where are your handcuffs?"

"In my nightstand drawer." Rae's voice was tight and strained. Levington motioned Jesse into the bedroom ahead of them. Rae cried out as the lunatic pulled her by her long blonde tresses as they both followed in Jesse's wake. She struggled to keep up. In the bedroom, she grimaced in pain when Levington moved over to the indicated drawer without letting go of her hair. He pulled the drawer open and smiled as he saw two pairs of handcuffs lying there.

Rae felt his hand leave her hair and she saw him pick them up before she was pushed roughly over towards Jesse. "Put them on him, arms behind his back, and do them up, tightly, or I will." Rae felt her heart sink, she had thought, just for a brief moment, that maybe she would be able to leave Jesse in a position where he could free himself. Levington handed them to her and she put the cuffs around Jesse's wrists and clicked them shut. She heard his sharp intake of breath and placed her hand over his trapped ones. 

"I am so sorry, Jess. Arghhh!" This time her hair was pulled back so hard she felt some of it come away in her tormentor's hands.

"Now his ankles, just the same." He jabbed the muzzle of the gun into the back of Rae's knees and her legs gave way. She found herself facing her lover's feet, and slowly and shakily she put the cuffs round them and once again did them up.

"Move away, my sweet." Levington hissed and Rae felt herself being propelled back towards the bed. "Don't move, or I will kill him, slowly and painfully. I have been following your cases, and I think the method I read about when I was catching up on the Candi Worthington case is the one I will use." 

Rae shuddered, and just shook her head. He had her right where he wanted her and she knew she could do nothing about it. Without realising it her right hand began to twist at her new ring. With a roar Levington pounced on her.

"How dare you wear that, that piece of crap when you are with me." He pulled at Rae's finger and she heard it crack. Her beautiful ring was flung across the room and then she felt his hand as it was slapped across her face. Without another word Levington turned his attention back to Jesse.

"She is mine, and by the time you realise that it will be too late for you to do anything about it." He reached into the large pockets on his new jacket and pulled out a roll of brown tape. Then a piece of wadding was put on the bed next to it, and he smiled into the terrified eyes of the doctor.

Jesse watched with horror as Levington came closer and closer to him, he couldn't run, or defend himself in any way. Suddenly he felt his legs being kicked out from underneath him and he crashed to the floor.

"Jesse!" Rae cried out, as she leapt at her assailant and pulled at his hair to try and force him back away from Jesse, but it was no good, he was so much stronger than she, and he turned swiftly pushing her back against the wall, and she felt another stinging blow across the face. She sank to the ground, determined not to let him see the tears that were trying to escape and pour down her face.

Levington put the wadding into Jesse's mouth, and then he yanked off a piece of the wide tape and stuck right across it. Jesse tried to control his fear and panic as he fought for breath. He moved his head back from Levington's hands and felt the pain as he was yanked forward and then Levington forced his fist into the side of his face. "Keep still, before I change my mind about being kind to you." Levington spat the words at him and then the world went black as more tape was stuck across his eyes.

"Now, let me see, where should I put you?" Levington's voice turned Rae's blood to ice.  She saw him haul Jesse up by the collar and she ran at him once again, trying to protect Jesse at all costs. Levington dropped Jesse and then swatted her away as if she was a bug and she crashed to the floor. As she lay there stunned she saw him pull a piece of chain from his jacket and thread it through the cuffs. It wouldn't meet back up and Levington growled. He clenched his fist, and rammed it into Jesse's stomach.

"No! Jesse, I'm so sorry!" Rae cried out once again, but this time she didn't have the strength to move. She was petrified for Jesse and for her baby, so all she could do was watch in horror as the chain ends were padlocked together, and then, Jesse, who was by now almost unconscious with the pain and shock of what was happening to him was hauled by his hair round and hidden down the side of the bed.

Levington delivered one more kick to Jesse's back and then he raised the gun and fired at the bound form on the floor.

"NO!" Rae screamed, but she still couldn't move. She knew she could do nothing for Jesse, but her baby, she had to protect her baby. Levington turned his attention back to his beloved. He moved over to her and placing the gun behind her ear growled at her. "Stand up! We have places to go."

Rae knew that she had no choice but to do whatever he said for now. She slowly stood up and together they moved out of the apartment and down the hallway. Rae was desperately hoping that she would see someone, anyone, to try and get some help for Jesse, but as luck would have it not only did they get out of the building but into the waiting car and off into the traffic without seeing a single living soul.

Rae sat in the back of the car with Levington and his gun right next to her. She shuddered involuntarily as she felt his finger trace down her face. She was so terrified that she was barely breathing.

"Well, my darling, not quite what I would have chosen for your wedding dress, but I have a much better outfit back at my place."

"If you think I am ever going to marry you, then you are more delusional than I thought. Both parties have to be willing, and I sure as hell am not willing." She shouted at him sounding far more confident than she felt and turned away.

The woman who was driving laughed, it was a cruel and triumphant sound and Rae felt her terror escalate.

It took over half an hour by Rae's estimation for them to get to their destination. Levington hauled her back out of the car and took her into a rundown looking isolated house. Inside there was a woman sitting watching the lunchtime news, she glanced up briefly as they entered and Rae could see that she looked very much like the woman who had been driving. Suddenly she realised that she had seen one of the women before, when she and Jesse had been going out the previous day. She must have been watching for her.

"Our bedroom is this way, my darling." Phil propelled her towards the room at the back of the lounge and once they had entered it he shut the door. Hanging on the outside of a tatty closet was a cream coloured suit. It was obviously cheap and it looked as if a sneeze would start to unravel the stitching. Attached to the lapel of the jacket was a pink rose. "I suggest you get changed." His voice was threatening, but Rae just knew that she couldn't do as he asked.

"No, I will never wear that. I am not marrying you… you … bastard!" Rae tried to move out of his grip but found that she couldn't, he grabbed at her hand where he had ripped off her ring and the pain shot right through her. She felt herself being forced up against the wall and then his hands grabbed at the front of her shirt and pulled hard. Even without the ripping sound Rae knew that the shirt couldn't take that kind of punishment and soon she found herself standing before him, dressed only in her underwear. 

"Put it on, now, bitch, or I will dress you myself."

Rae just nodded and moved away from him, she knew she had no real choice but to do as he said. There was no priest on earth who would marry them when she explained what had happened. Then she could get away and let someone know about Jesse. All she could think of was the gun firing down at him. It might be too late already; he could be dead by now. By the time she had finished thinking she had the cold nylon feeling suit on and she turned around. Her eyes widened in horror, as she saw what Levington was holding in his hands and she tried to move away from him. "No, no, don't, please don't." Her voice was a terrified whisper as she watched him come towards her, a silk scarf held between his fingers.

"Then smile, my darling, my Mother will be so disappointed if you don't look like any happy blushing bride should look. She has studied hard for this moment, don't spoil it for her."

"What moment? You, marrying me, never? It is Jesse that I love, I WILL NEVER MARRY YOU." 

"This will be her first wedding, she studied just for this."

"Studied just for what? You don't have to study to go to a wedding." Rae didn't really know why she was making conversation with this man, but maybe it would postpone what was going to happen.

"Oh, did I forget to tell you, my mother is going to marry us, she is a priest!" Levington's grin was maniacal, and at that moment Rae knew her life was over.

Jesse tried to move into a more comfortable position, every muscle in his body either hurt or cried out in pain at being stretched the wrong way. His back was burning where he had been shot, and he knew that he had been unconscious for some time.  His knees were up against his chest, and his feet and hands were joined up his back by, well he didn't know what by.  He could hardly breathe and he had to concentrate not to throw up. He knew if he did he would choke on his own vomit. His eyes filled with tears, and he had to stop that too, they had nowhere to go. His whole being howled out and there was nothing his body could do to release the terror and wave after wave of pain and nausea that began to overwhelm him.

"Your mother is a priest?" Rae's voice was almost non-existent. "How could your mother be a priest?"

With an evil grin Levington began to reply. "She was ordained by the Jehovah's Church of the Old Testament over the internet. Now come on my lovely. I know it is customary in your country for the bride to be late, but here, they are expected to be on time."

Rae felt herself being moved once again into the other room. Her mind was in a whirl, but two things were very clear to her. She was about to be married to the man she feared the most in the whole world, and he knew about her throat. Her head began to spin at the realisation that he had her right where he wanted her and she felt him tighten his grip on her once again.

"See, Mama, she is so delighted to be marrying me that she has gone all giddy!"

"Ok, Son, now don't you interrupt your Mama when she is getting ready to perform." 

Rae looked up and saw that Mrs Levington had a long cream robe on and purple vestments, her sister was standing by her side, and another man was also in the room now. She could see that he had a gun on his belt.

"Now, my precious let me introduce my family to you. This is my mother, her name is Bernice, or I guess I should call you the Reverend Bernice now, ma'am?" he smiled at his mother, and for the first time Rae saw him treat another human being with natural kindness, which scared her even more. "This is my mom's twin sister, Marlene, I believe you have seen her before." He laughed and touched her hair. Rae took a step back from him, and for the moment he let her be. "And this is her son Chucky. They are all so glad that I finally have the chance to marry my childhood sweetheart."

"What? I was never your childhood sweetheart. Ma'am this is wrong, I don't want to marry your son. I am engaged to somebody else, that I love very much, please, call 911 and let me go." Rae pleaded with the people in front of her, but as she finished speaking all she heard was a chorus of laughs.

"Ok, Son. Are you ready?"

"Yes, Mama, I am."

"Right, Marlene, do you have the cassette recorder with the music on it?"

The other woman just nodded and moved over to the table. 

As Rae stood there next to Levington she saw Bernice pick up a book with the title Weddings, Funerals and Rites of Passage of The Jehovah's Church of the Old Testament**.** As she waited, Chucky moved round and began to video her. 

The music began and Bernice began to speak. "Dearly beloved ……"

Thirty minutes later, to her dismay, Rae had a tawdry looking wedding ring on her swollen and painful finger. She was sat on the bed in the backroom and she was legally, if not morally, Mrs. Philip Levington.

She had tried the door and found that not surprisingly it was locked. The windows had bars on and she was now a prisoner. Her terror had been replaced by anger as she had sat there. Why hadn't Jesse or herself been told that Levington was free? She couldn't believe that there was anybody at the precinct who didn't know what had happened to them.

She heard the door unlock and her 'husband' came into the room. "Hello, my darling wife, how are you feeling? It was a beautiful service wasn't it? I have paid the priest and the wedding party has left. Now it is just us."

"There is nothing in this world that will make me agree that I am your wife. You shot the only man I want to be married to." Rae turned as she hurled the words out at him.

"Maybe not, my darling, but the rest of the world will have no doubt." He ignored her mention of Jesse and held up a marriage certificate, just out of her reach, and she could see that it looked legal to her. "Now, my darling, your lunch is outside on the table, and then, well, we'll see."

It was a quiet and peaceful Saturday afternoon at Jo's house. She knew that Mark was home so she had decided that Steve could come over the next day. She had lain in bed until almost ten and then the rest of the morning had been slow and lazy. Michael had been grocery shopping and then they had done some gardening together. There were very few chores that he would let her help with, but they both loved to garden and they enjoyed each other's company as they worked.

Mark on the other hand had not enjoyed his son's company quite so much. He had made him breakfast and taken it down to his apartment just before ten. He knew that there wasn't much that Steve could do to make the time pass quickly, so he figured an extra hour or two in bed wouldn't make much difference for once.

"Steve, Son, I have brought you some breakfast."  Mark had spoken quietly as he entered the bedroom.

"You don't have to whisper, I'm already awake, you aren't that quiet when you are making breakfast y'know."

Mark bit his tongue so as not to reply. "I thought you might like some scramble eggs and toast. If you sit up I will put the tray over the bed." 

Steve had sat up without another word and waited for his food. His resentment rose even further as he saw that his father had placed little soldiers of toast all around the outside of the plate, just as he had done when he was a child. He looked at his father and waited. 

Mark sat on the side of the bed and moved one of the soldiers towards Steve's mouth. While he was eating it he put some of the egg onto the spoon and waited for Steve to finish his mouthful. 

"I'm ready, Dad. This will take all day if I have to tell you each time." Steve's eyes were flinty, and Mark could tell that he was just holding on to his temper.

Mark placed the spoonful in Steve's mouth and tried a smile. He got no response so he picked up another soldier and as soon as Steve stopped chewing he pushed it into his son's mouth. Then he got another spoonful of egg and that moved towards Steve's mouth too. They carried on like this for a few mouthfuls before Steve felt he could stand it no more. He chewed and swallowed and then he raised a plastered hand. "Dad, if you are gonna do that every time I have a mouthful I would rather go hungry!" Steve's voice was hard and Mark looked puzzled.

"Do what? All I am doing is feeding you your breakfast. I can't see why you have to be so moody about it."

"Dad, you open your own mouth every time you give me a spoonful of food or a piece of toast _I will **not** call them soldiers_. I know to open my mouth."

Mark tried an embarrassed smile but it wasn't returned. Soon the breakfast had disappeared, but Mark was frightened to open his mouth at all.

"Thanks, Dad, I'll get up then." Steve slid out of bed managing to keep the feelings of pain in his ribs from showing on his face, and Mark waited. "In the drawer there is a pair of yellow gloves, if you could put them on me, and set the shower up, I can clean up." Steve's voice was tight and it was clear he didn't expect his father to reply to him.

Mark pulled the gloves on for Steve and then he went and got the shower sorted out. When he came back into the room Steve was waiting to move under the water. Mark watched as the water cascaded down his son's back and he could see that it relaxed him as he stood there. Mark's heart went out to his fiercely independent son. He couldn't imagine how he would cope if he was totally reliant on everybody else, and for such a long period of time too. 

"When do you go to the hospital for your next x-rays?" Mark raised his voice to be heard over the sound of the water.

"I was going Monday, but Jesse isn't working, so I'll go Tuesday instead. Dad, could you put some shower stuff on me, please?"

Mark smiled as he put his arms into the shower and grabbed the bottle, then he lathered up his son's body gently and for a moment he was transported back to when Steve was a small boy. He finished his pleasant task and then sniffed. He decided that he really didn't like the smell.

"What is that stuff, only my hands will smell of it all day!"

"Hey, I'll have you know that cost a lot of money, but I have to admit, I don't like it either!" They smiled at each other and the animosity of the morning, for now, was over.

Jimmy Murray was a wanderer. He always had been, and he hoped he always would be. Today he was wandering around just outside the city limits, probably about two miles outside he guessed. He had begun to walk at daybreak, and after a while he had spotted some birds circling. Knowing that there might be pickings for more than the birds he had walked in that direction all morning. As he got closer he didn't only have to follow the birds, he could follow his nose as well.

Jimmy was 62 years old. He had been born in a trailer park by the beach, and he had been on the move ever since. He picked up his clothes and shoes from charity bins and garage sales. Sometime he did some garden work to raise a little cash, and he had five dollars on him right now. His trousers were burgundy at the moment, and he had a white t-shirt on. Well it used to be white. It said Black Sabbath on the front. He knew who they were; he heard them on jukeboxes in the coffee joints he frequented when he had a little spare cash.

He carried on walking, not trying to get a lift; he wanted to find out for himself what was causing the birds to circle and the smell to waft. As he finally got close enough to see what was causing the excitement he could see that there was a slight hump in the ground. Gradually Jimmy clawed at the soil and as he removed the surface dirt he began to unearth the decomposing remains of something that used to be human. Samuel Middleton had made another appearance.

Jimmy might have been a traveller and a scavenger, but he knew foul play when he saw it, and he headed back to the road as fast as he could. He stopped the first car he saw and asked them to call the police. Then he sat down at the side of the road and hoped that there had been a reward posted.

Jesse felt his panic lessen for a few minutes. He tried to move his body, but he was completely immobile. He had a raging thirst, and he felt dizzy, not only from the terror but also the blood loss he had suffered, and he knew that he was in big trouble, however soon he got free. Suddenly he felt a movement, and every muscle in his body tensed. Then the movement became a feeling and the soft fur of Kira moved across his face, he felt her press up against his body and make herself comfortable by his side. Jesse was relieved by her presence and he felt far more confident than he had when he had been completely alone.

Amanda had been working such long hours that she hadn't seen her own children, let alone her friends for almost a week. As she drove to the beach house to spend the rest of Saturday with her boys on the sand she explained to them what the problem was with Steve.

"You mean he can't do anything?" Dion's eyes were like saucers. "He can't even go to the can on his own. Eeeeewwww." 

"Dion! No Honey, anything that you use your hands for he can't do right now." Amanda smiled in her rear view mirror as she saw her sons process this information. CJ looked worried. 

"So how does he eat, or turn on the TV. He can't build sandcastles or play cars or anything?"

"No, Son, he can't do any of that stuff. He is a bit cross about it too. So you have to be patient with him, and not expect him to be able to play with you like he normally does, ok?"

"Yes, Mom!" both boys spoke together, and as the car returned to silence Amanda drew into Mark and Steve's driveway.

Amanda rang the bell and waited. She saw Steve coming up the stairs. The boys both waved at him, and he waved back, but he didn't open the door, instead he continued up into the lounge area.

"Why didn't Uncle Steve let us in?" Dion looked hurt. Amanda turned to tell him why and felt her pride rise as CJ put his hand on his brother's arm.

"He can't open the door… stupid!"

Amanda sighed. The pride fell, but at least he had told him.

"Hey, guys, Amanda." They all turned at the sound of Mark's voice and then walked into the house. "So, how are my two favourite young men today?"

"Fine, but poor Uncle Steve, are you helping him?"

"I am, CJ, but not all the time, when I am at work Jo comes and does things for him."

"Oh, right." Dion nodded as he listened, the boys hadn't met Jo many times, but they knew who she was.

"Come on then, who's for a game of baseball on the beach?" Steve came back into the room.

"You can't play can you, Uncle Steve?" CJ looked at his Uncle.

"Nope, but I can write the score in the sand." Steve held up his left hand and made a downward movement. "So you have to make sure you hit lots of home runs, ok?"

Soon they were all sitting on the sand. CJ and Dion had decided that cricket would be better, because there weren't enough people to man all the bases otherwise.

"Can't we call Uncle Jesse and Aunty Rae and they could play the field too?" CJ went to take his mom's cell phone out of her purse.

"No, CJ. Aunty Rae only just got out of the hospital and it would be nice for them to spend the weekend just the two of them. Ok?"

"Yes, Mom, I guess so. It will have to be cricket then. I don't know all the rules, Aunty Rae only just started to teach us, but I guess we can still let Uncle Steve score for us."

The game progressed on and off into the late afternoon. Mark had brought out some picnic foods mid afternoon, and CJ and Dion had thought it was great fun to feed Steve. They had teased him and made him laugh and he felt completely relaxed and that hadn't happened for a long time. Jo and Michael had made him more even tempered for short periods of time, but this was different, he knew that he couldn't lose his temper with the children, so when they had held food just out of his reach, or waved it about in front of his face he had been forced to smile and laugh. After a while he found that it was no longer an effort and that he was enjoying himself.

Mark and Amanda had sat a little way away and watched the scene.

"Thank you, Sweetie, for bringing the boys over. I think Steve needed someone with him where he had to mind what he said and how he acted."

"Mark, the boys adore him, you know that, I don't think it would matter what he said to them, but this will stay in their minds for a long time. It's not often that they get to tease their Uncle Steve and win."

When Steve needed to have a drink Mark and Amanda watched as the mood changed and Dion held the can of soda up to his mouth gently and steadily. After Steve had drunk his fill he had moved one of his plaster covered hands up to Dion's face and rested it there for a second. Suddenly an idea came to him.

"Hey, guys, you know what, I have two plaster casts and they have nothing written on them, how about you decorate a hand each? Lots of colours and patterns, what do you think?"

Both boys were immediately animated once again, and the three of them headed back towards the house. Steve showed the boys where the felt pens were kept and then he put both hands onto a piece of paper on the dining room table and let the boys artistic talents take over.

By the time Amanda and Mark came back up to the house a half hour later Steve's hands were looking very different indeed. Dion had coloured each finger differently, and there were stars and stripes down the thumb. Then he had drawn a sun rising from the cuff of the cast, and there were cars and tanks going across the palm and round onto the back of his hand. CJ meanwhile had turned Steve's whole hand into a beach scene, with his mom, his brother and himself as well as Steve sitting on the sand. Most of the plaster was yellow and then there were people, and seagulls and clouds on the fingers but the thumb had a moustache and a smile with a stethoscope drawn down towards the end of the cast.

"Wow, Uncle Jesse sure will be impressed when he does the x-ray on Tuesday. Did you use the permanent markers?" Amanda was delighted with what she saw.

"Yeah, I did. When these casts come off I am gonna keep them, you two are great artists. Don't forget to sign your names on them will you?" Steve smiled at the two heads, both bowed over their work and his hands. He had enjoyed himself today. Tomorrow he would make sure that Jo and he had a good time too.

Jesse slowly felt aware of his situation again. Kira had disappeared; he guessed she was looking for food. He tried to think of Rae, and of the wonderful time they had spent together at the Lake Shrine, but all he could see was Levington pulling her back by the hair and slamming her against the wall. He was so scared for her and for their baby that he had to send the thoughts to the back of his mind as the panic threatened to overwhelm him, and he felt his thoughts begin to merge again.


	15. Chapter 15 Discoveries

**Discoveries**

Jo drove over to the beach house on Sunday morning just after ten. Mark had to be at the hospital by eleven so she had arranged with him that he would suffer the grouchy breakfast and then she would take over. She had decided to be cold and distant with him, even though she just wanted to run to him and hug and kiss him. He needed to know that she wasn't going to be walked all over any more.

She rang the bell and Mark came to let her in. "Mark, how are you today? Did you have a nice day yesterday?"

"Hi, Sweetie, I'm fine, and yes we did, once we got breakfast out of the way. You're right; he's not a morning person right now. Amanda came and brought the boys, so we spent the afternoon on the beach. I think it did him good. Anyway he's ready for you, he's looking forward to a change of scene."

Steve came up behind Jo and put his large hands over her eyes. She smiled.

"Well, now, I wonder if I can guess who these could belong to." She placed her own hands gently over the plaster and moved them away from her eyes. "My goodness, what happened to your hands?"

"CJ and Dion happened to them, what do you think?"

"I think that they look much better, an' I also think I want to be there on Tuesday when Jesse sees them!"

"Are you ready to go, Honey, only Dad will be going soon, and I would be happier if he locked up."

"Of course, come on then. The weather is supposed to be nice again, do you want me to get your trunks for you?"

"Would you mind? I didn't think about your pool. I might even be persuaded to wear my gloves."

Jo headed down the stairs, trying to make sense of Steve's change of personality. He had said more nice words to her in the last two sentences than almost the entire time since he got hurt. _Men, go figure_. Soon she was back with Steve and they walked out together to her car. Jo opened the door and he slid in, then she did up his seat belt for him and moved round to the drivers seat.

Rae had woken up with a start. She had no idea where she was, but she knew that something was not right. She turned and it was all she could do not to scream out as she saw Phil Levington lying beside her. Her head felt fuzzy and she knew that he had drugged her somehow. Her hands flew to her stomach. She couldn't even think about her baby without her eyes filling with tears. As she lay there she knew that her morning sickness was back with a vengeance. She had no idea where the bathroom was, but she knew she needed it. She got off the bed and tried to leave the room, but the door was locked. She slid down the wall and rested her head on her knees. Slowly the feelings passed but she stayed there because she had no intention of getting back into the same bed as that man.

Detective Chapman stood out in the sun and looked at the shallow grave in front of him. He had been out the previous afternoon, but the weather had been so hot that he had done just enough to get him by and decided to return on Sunday. So now he stood looking around and trying to decide whether there was no evidence because he should have looked for it Saturday, or there had just never been any.  

The body had been removed to Community General, but he knew that Doctor Bentley wouldn't look at it until the next morning at the earliest. There had been no identification papers on the corpse. No driver's licence, credit cards or even a house key. He crouched down by the side of the grave and peered into it. There didn't seem to have been much effort to dig down deeper than the body. Mind you if he had been digging in this dirt he wouldn't have gone very deep either. Chapman wondered who the guy had been. He shook his head. Nobody should have to die and be buried this way, with nothing to show for who he was or what he had done.

"Detective Chapman?" He heard a voice behind him and stood back up.

"Yes, that's me, what can I do for you?"

"I think I have found something." The young patrolman looked eager and excited. Chapman smiled, he remembered when he had been like that.

"Ok then, I will follow you." The two men moved over about one hundred yards from where the body had been found. Hidden under a piece of scrub bush was a handle. Chapman pulled on a pair of gloves and eased out a hand fork. It was covered with dirt and he smiled. "I guess you just found the digging implement. I'm not sure what we're going to gain from it, but I'll bag and tag it."

Ten minutes later the Detective was sitting in his air-conditioned car thanking his lucky stars for the cool air as it hit his face. He picked up his phone and called in what they'd found, then he turned his car and headed back towards the city.

Jo and Steve arrived back at her house just before lunch. They had stopped at a garden centre on the way so that Jo could buy some more plants and then they had gone straight back.

Once they had arrived Steve had headed for the kitchen to find Michael. He rapped his left cast against the doorframe and waited.

"Oh, come in, Sir, there is no need to knock." Michael looked round and saw the tall man standing in the doorway.

"Yes, there is, Michael…" Steve paused. "I have come to apologise, I am sorry for the way I treated you yesterday. It was inexcusable, and you had every right to leave. I also know that I should have told you so when you came back, instead of ignoring you like I did."

"Sir, I cannot begin to understand the restrictions you are under, but that is never an excuse to let bad manners take over." Michael held his hand out to Steve and with relief he took it awkwardly.

"Thank you." Then feeling more like a naughty child than he had since he'd been one Steve turned and left the room.

Jo was sitting in the garden, a piece of paper in front of her on the table. She was trying to work out the best way to set out her plants in the bed she had prepared the day before. As she worked a shadow was cast across the page and she looked up. "Hey, did you speak with Michael?"

"Yeah, I feel relieved, embarrassed, and scolded all in one."

"Tell me about it. He makes me feel like that regularly. But I can't imagine my life without him in it. I guess he does it because he cares."

"For you perhaps, I think he did it to me because I deserved it."

"Maybe."

"I deserved what I got from you too, I'm sorry, Jo, I just can't stand to be so dependent."

"Honey, I know that, an' I know as I am doing things that they are gonna make you mad, but they have to be done."

"I know that too. But it doesn't help." Steve could feel the helplessness taking him over again as a breeze caught Jo's paper and sent it in his direction. He could do nothing except watch as it blew past him and then he exploded once again. "See, I couldn't even get your piece of paper for you. I can't do a damn thing, and I am just not used to being like this." He saw Jo put her hand out to him but he moved out of her reach. "Just leave it, Jo, just leave me." He turned away from her and went over towards the pool and sat, with his back to her, looking at the water.

Jo sighed. The truce had lasted about a couple of hours if you included the drive over, and the fact that he had stayed in the car while she brought the plants. She walked over and picked up the piece of paper from where it had floated after the breeze had lost interest in it and returned to the table. She started to draw again, but her heart wasn't in it. She decided that she didn't want to spend all of her Sunday with Steve if he was going to be like this so she went over and sat next to him.

"This needs to be settled, an' we will do it right now. I cannot carry on like this. I love you Steve, an' I want to be able to help you, but you have to understand my position as well as your own."

"Oh, I understand my own position. I am helpless. I can't do anything for myself except eat cut up food off a grapefruit. And the chances are I have another month of this, maybe more. You know it would be much easier if Jesse had just sedated me for six weeks." Steve went to stand and move away again but Jo placed her hand on his thigh and he stayed where he was.

"Ok, maybe you should understand mine then. When you were hurt an' Rae phoned me I came back from Texas, not because I had to, but because I wanted to. My reaction was to come an' look after you, **because I love you**. When I found out about the staff dispute, an' the fact that Mark wouldn't be able to take the time off to help you I knew that was what I wanted to do, **because I love you**." She stopped talking for a minute and looked at him. He still wouldn't make eye contact with her and she knew that she wouldn't get through to him until he did so.

"I took you back to the beach house as much for me as you." This time when she stopped talking he did look at her. "I have been cosseted all my life. The only time I didn't have a butler an' a maid was when I was at the police academy, an' then in an apartment after that. When I went round the world I stayed in five star hotels, I had my washin' done for me, an' my meals put in front of me."

"I don't see your point, but I guess you will get there in the end." Steve's tone was one of undisguised boredom and Jo was sorely tempted to push him in the pool and steam off, but she managed to keep talking.

"Then when Rae phoned an' I came back, there was the chance to keep house for the man I loved. The chance to look after him because he couldn't do it himself. I imagined us spendin' time talkin' an' watchin' movies together. You don't need your hands to do those things, but you didn't seem to think I was there as company, just as an unpaid skivvy. Steve, I love you, but if you can't treat me with some respect, an' think before you snap then I will go back to Texas, an' this time I'll tell Michael to close up the house an' come with me."

"I didn't ask you to come and become my housekeeper. You offered."

"I didn't say I was your housekeeper, I said I wanted to keep house for you. You pay a housekeeper, I kept house because I wanted to, an' because I love you, an' all you do is throw everythin' that I do back in my face." Jo looked at Steve, but she could see that she wasn't close to getting him to change.

"Everybody seems to think that I should be eternally grateful to them for doing all this. Every time I have to ask somebody to do something for me I feel more and more humiliated. I can't even wake up without being aware of my inadequacies. I look at you, and all I want to do is take you in my arms and kiss you and make love to you, but I can't. My Dad put soldiers around my breakfast plate, and Michael left me to get dressed on my own, and I am supposed to smile sweetly and thank everybody for their kindness and generosity. Well I'm sorry, but right now I just can't do it."

This time Jo did get up and leave the garden. Steve sat there looking at his reflection in the still waters, and he realised that at the moment they ran very deep indeed. He didn't know quite what to do next. He knew that he should apologise to Jo, but he couldn't, any more than he could apologise to his dad for snapping at him about the way he fed him. _He fed me._ That was the problem. Everything was being done for him and however sorry he felt for something he had said one minute; by the next something else had happened to raise his temper again. 

Steve stood up and he ignored the warning protest from his ribs. He had to find some way to release his fury, before he took it out on Jo again. He couldn't keep doing that to her. He walked back towards the house. He was hot and thirsty, and that in itself was a problem. Now he would have to ask for help again. He slammed his palm against the brickwork with everything he had, knowing that the plaster would shield his hand. He was right, the cast had protected him, but he had forgotten about his ribs and as a wave of screaming pain passed through him, he was left gasping for air.  He leant his head against the doorframe, as he tried to stop his knees giving way, and suddenly she was there for him and he collapsed against her. 

Jo had seen him move towards the house and she had decided to go and meet him with a smile, so that maybe they would be able to spend the rest of the day together. She didn't know what had made him hit the house, but she saw all the colour drain out of him and she knew that he was having trouble standing. As she got there Steve had looked up at her and then he had just let his body fall into her arms.

"Michael, Michael, come quickly, I need you!" Jo shouted as she caught him, and they had half carried half walked him to the lounge and rested him into the corner of the sofa. "I'll be alright now, Michael, thank you." Jo knelt by her lover and gently spoke to him. "Steve, Steve, Honey, can you hear me?"

"Yes… I can, I am… so sorry." Steve leant back into the sofa and as his breathing gradually came under his control again he moved so that his head was turned up towards the ceiling, as if the force of gravity would send the tears in his eyes backwards.

Jo had seen the way his eyes were shining and she stood up. She placed a hand behind his head and gently moved it so that he was once again looking at her. "Oh, Darlin'."

The kindness in her voice was just too much for Steve, and the tears escaped and ran down his face. He felt so many mixed emotions that he wasn't sure if they were tears of frustration, fear or resignation. "Help me, Jo. I don't want you to go…" He couldn't say anything more, and finally, all the anguish of the past week came out and once again she was there and he knew that she was the only person he would let see him this way, but more than that he knew that she would understand.

Jo didn't say anything, she just let him cry. She had a feeling that the release of all the tension would have a far greater effect on him than anything she could say or do.  As she sat with him she wondered whether her life would have been different if there had been someone like Steve with her when she had needed a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen. Then she pulled herself back to the present. She was the shoulder now, and that in itself was an enormous achievement for someone who at one point had thought she would never be able to leave her own problems behind.

Slowly Steve felt himself calming down, and he began to get his emotions under control once again. His ribs were still hurting, and he began to take some slow shallow breaths. He raised his tear-stained face towards Jo's and kissed her cheek. "Jo, I don't deserve to have you here with me, but I am so glad you are. Please, can we start today again? I don't want to be like this, and I hate myself every time I open my mouth."

"Then there is hope for you yet." Jo smiled at him. "If you couldn't see what you were doing wrong, then my bags would be packed an' my plane waitin' on the runway. Honey, I am plannin' on going nowhere until you are better. I told you that at the beginnin' an' that is still how it is. Now, I seem to remember something about you wantin' to make love to me." She smiled at him and pulled him gently to his feet then placing a hand on his arm she led him towards the stairs.

Rae had spent the entire morning trying to fend off her new husband and the feelings of nausea that threatened to overwhelm her. She knew that part of it was because she was terrified, but also she knew that he had drugged her the night before, and that terrified her even more. She had no proof of what he had done to her, but she had a very good idea. There was no way that she could tell him about the baby, she knew he would kill her, but she didn't want it to be harmed in any way.

Now she sat at the table with a very limp looking salad in front of her. It had hard-boiled eggs on it, and she couldn't stand them at any time, but now, they were turning her stomach, and she knew that she was going to have to leave the room. "I have to be excused." She rushed to the bathroom and was very sick in the toilet. She could see that there was no privacy even here, and as she straightened up a few moments later Levington was right behind her.

"Why are you sick? What's the matter with you?"

"You mean apart from the fact that you kidnapped and assaulted me, beat up Jesse, and then married and drugged me? Oh, there is nothing the matter with me, you moron! Arghhh!" She felt him pull her up by her long hair and drag her back into the other room. As she went through the bathroom door she was banged against the frame. Rae tried to protect herself and then she fell to the ground as he let go of her. "Stop it. Why are you doing this to me?"

"Because I can! You are my wife now, my property, and I can do anything I like to you. Now eat your lunch." 

She began to shake her head, but she saw him raise his foot ready to kick her and so she quickly got to her knees. "Yes, ok, just don't hurt me any more, please."

It seemed to be the right thing to say, because immediately Levington's mood changed. He moved over and guided her to the table and watched her eat. She just couldn't face the eggs, so she pretended she was full. As she drank the orange juice on the table she realised that she was beginning to feel slightly dizzy again. But she didn't say anything, she couldn't say anything. She felt him take her by the arm and lead her into the bedroom.

Jesse had no idea how much time had passed since he had last been aware of his situation. The pain in his back was a throbbing fire now and he tried to remember what had happened to him. He knew that he was in trouble but he didn't know why, but if he waited here long enough Rae would come home and find him. That thought made him feel a little better and then the darkness claimed him again.

The alarm at Martin's house went off at two thirty on Monday morning. He groaned and turned over to silence it. The walls weren't very thick in these apartment buildings, and he didn't think his neighbours would appreciate being woken up this early. He sleepily got out of bed and pulled on the jeans and thick jumper he had laid out the night before. Then he headed for the kitchen and made himself a very strong, very black, coffee. He turned the radio on just in time to hear the weather lady begin her report. 'The large area of high pressure is finally moving off to the east now.  That's what has been making the days so hot and the nights so cool lately.  And a band of cloud working its way in is the leading edge of a cold front.  We'll probably get some showers out of that, and depending on how much moisture the area of low pressure behind it picks up off the Pacific, we might even see some pretty severe storms.  Tune in at ten, get your boards ready, and find out what the new weather pattern means for the surf report."

He got into his car and drove to the pick up point he had arranged with Larry. Then they headed off together for Coldwater Canyon. "I am so glad I got to work days. Since when has three thirty been days?" Martin was not feeling very talkative, but somehow sitting next to a silent Larry was worse.

"Yeah well, by the time you have finished this it will be about lunchtime, and the afternoon will be all yours. Then you won't have to do this again Tuesday, but you will Wednesday."

"Oh, right, and how come you know all this and I don't?" 

"Because this is how I started. Now you are working for me. This is my patch. Just 'cos the boss said you could do it, doesn't mean you're in charge of anything, you still report to me. Understand?"

"Yeah, I understand, Sir!" Martin knew he was pushing it by being sarcastic, but for some reason he wanted to antagonise this man right now.

"Here we are, you need to turn off down here, and the parking lot is at the end of this road. Don't go too far or you will end up in the canyon." 

They drove the rest of the way in silence, but as they entered the parking lot, Larry cried out. "Hey, what are they doing with our truck?" In front of them was a white truck. Next to the truck was a motorbike, and the biker was kneeling down by the front wheel.

"Hey, get away from my truck!" Larry was out of the car almost before Martin had stopped. He rushed up to the man and hauled at his black leather jacket.

"Hey, man, leave the jacket alone. I just dropped my keys under here somewhere."

It was obvious to both Martin and Larry that the guy half under the truck had been drinking. His words were slurring together, and the thought of him on a bike was worrying.

Martin got on his hands and knees and looked under the truck. He could see something lying there, but in the dark it was hard to make out what it was. He ran his hand under the vehicle and his fingers landed on the cold metal of a bunch of keys.

"Here you go, buddy, but if I were you I wouldn't get on that bike until you have slept off some of that booze." Martin handed over the keys.

"Yeah, right, and what's it to you what I do?" The guy leant right into his face, and Martin was instantly reminded of the smell of a distillery he had once visited.

"Yeah, well it's your funeral." He turned from him then, he couldn't waste any time on this guy, he had things to do.

Martin and Larry watched as the biker got shakily to his feet and weaved his way back over to his bike. It took him three attempts to get the keys in the ignition, but at last the machine roared to life and in a swirl of dust he disappeared into the night.

Larry looked over at his companion. "What d'you bet we'll find him wrapped round a tree further up the road?" 

"Hey, no bet, if it doesn't happen tonight, it sure will one night. Right, let's get this show on the road." Martin took the keys out of his pocket and unlocked the driver's side door. He leant over and let Larry in and then he looked at the smaller key. "You must know what this is for if you're the boss."

"Yeah, give it here." Larry took the bunch out of Martin's hand and unlocked the glove compartment on his side of the cab. Inside was an envelope. He took it out and handed it over. Then he put the keys in the ignition and smiled. "There look at that, and I managed to do it first time."

Steve groaned as he rolled slightly in the bed. Jo was fast asleep next to him, but her hand was resting on his arm. He moved over towards her, ignoring the pain from his ribs and he saw her smile in her sleep. She had been so gentle and understanding with him, and then she had brought him up here and made love to him without ever once making him feel as if she was missing anything by him not being able to touch her with his hands. He ran his tongue over his lips. Jo had told him that the things he had done to her last night had been some of the most sensual she had ever experienced. He leant over her and kissed her gently on the lips. She moved in her sleep and as she turned and snuggled into his chest and sleep began to claim him again he knew that he was the luckiest guy in the world, and hands or no hands he wouldn't trade places with anyone right at that moment.  

Mark was sitting in the doctor's lounge, a sad looking sandwich in front of him on the table, it wasn't the ideal breakfast but it would do. He was reading slowly through the paper from two days before, and his food was gradually being forgotten. Suddenly his face broke into a huge grin and he grabbed his cell phone from his pocket.

An hour later, Jo, Steve and Mark were walking down the hallway towards Rae's apartment. They knew that when Rae and Jesse were together that they normally spent their time there.

Steve was still feeling relaxed and happy. He was so thrilled for the pair of them, that he had even quit feeling silly about the balloon he had insisted be tied to his plastered finger.

Mark rang the bell and they waited. There was silence. "They must be out, what a shame. Jesse is due back to work tomorrow, so I guess they decided to go out for the day.  We will have to come back later."

"No, Dad, you still have Rae's key, why don't we go in and decorate the living area with the balloons, and the cake and everything, and then leave. It will be a nice surprise for them."

"Why, honey, you big softie, I didn't think you had it in you." Jo smiled at him and the kiss she placed on his cheek took the sting out of what she had said.

"When I propose to you, you will find out just how soft I can be." He smiled at her.

"Hey, I have a witness! I expect moonlight, roses, a string quartet an' Caribbean beaches." They looked at each other for a moment and then Mark unlocked the door.

The room was quiet and tidy as they began to decorate it. Suddenly Steve put one of his hands up. "Shhh." They all stopped what they were doing and listened intently.

Jesse had lost all sense of time, and he had no idea where he was. He knew that he had been slipping in and out of consciousness for some time, but whether it was minutes, hours or days he had no idea. He lay there trying to keep the panic from taking over once again. Sometimes he could remember why he was in this position, and right now he could think of nothing else. As he lay there letting unpleasant memories flood his mind he heard the door being unlocked. Part of him was terror struck in case it was Levington returning to kill him, but he reflected, anything would be better than this. He tried to cry out through the wadding in his mouth. He wasn't sure how much noise he was making but he prayed that it was enough.

Steve moved towards the bedroom. He thought that he had heard something. As he entered the room he spoke. "Hello?" and this time he was sure, someone was in the room. He moved further in, acutely aware of the fact that he could do nothing to protect himself, and suddenly his eyes caught on an almost unbelievable sight. "My God, Jesse. Jo, call 911, Dad I need you in here, right now!" 

Mark rushed into the room and saw Steve standing helplessly at the end of Rae's bed. "What happened, what did you hear?" 

"Dad, I can't get to him, I can't help him, please can you get to him?"

The bed in Rae's room was only separated from the wall by a nightstand. Mark shook his head as he looked in horror at the figure lying before him. "I have no idea what his injuries are Steve, we need to wait for the paramedics. The gap is so small we could make things worse."

Jo came into the room at that moment, and seeing where they were looking lay across the bed. She let out a gasp, and then gently she began to talk. "Jesse, honey, it's Jo. Can you hear me? I'm going to move my hand down so that you can feel where I am." As she spoke Jo did just that, and her fingers touched his badly bruised face. She had no idea if he was conscious or even alive, he felt cold to her touch and he wasn't moving. She rested her hand on his neck and was relieved to feel a faint pulse. "The ambulance is on its way an' then we can get you out of here. It will be just a few more minutes. You just hold on there, I'm not going to go anywhere we will wait together. Steve is here an' Mark, you won't be on your own any more."

Jo turned her face towards Steve and Mark and they saw her begin to mouth some words. _Where is Rae?_ She was rewarded by shrugs, and then in the distance they could hear the sound of sirens.

Steve moved over towards the bathroom door and looked inside. The room was empty. There was nowhere else she could be. Steve felt his heart sink, they had no idea where Rae was, no idea at all.

Rae woke up feeling fuzzy headed and removed from herself. She looked around her and realised that she had no idea where she was. She tried to move and found that she couldn't. "Jesse, Jesse? Honey, where are you?" She began to panic when there was no answer from anybody. "Jesse, help me, please."

There was the sound of someone on the stairs, and then the door was flung open and Philip Levington came into the room. "Be quiet. No wife of mine will utter the name of another man in my presence." His hand came down and slapped her around the face. She let out a cry and tried to move away from him but found that she was unable to. "Oh, no my love, you are just where I want you to be, and wearing just what I want you to wear." 

There was something about his tone that made Rae look down at herself, she found that she had nothing on. As her vision cleared from the effects of whatever it was making her feel so ill she saw that she was tied to a bed with round posts at each corner. "What are you doing to me?" Rae looked at him, and slowly certain memories came back to her. She remembered being in another room, and this man, her husband coming towards her with something in his hand, something soft. She gasped and looked up at him.

"Let me go, please, let me go." She felt tears on her face and then her captor's body as he climbed onto the bed beside her. His hands moved over her skin, and she turned her face away so she didn't have to watch as well as feel what he was doing to her. She tried to zone her thoughts into her baby and she began to picture Jesse's face in her mind, over and over again as she kept thinking _this is your daddy, this is your daddy_. Levington loomed over her and suddenly he had the soft scarf in his hands again. He let it fall across her throat and her terror overwhelmed her and then she was aware of nothing else.

It seemed to Steve to take the paramedics forever to remove the furniture and get to Jesse so that they could move him safely. They'd had bolt cutters in their ambulance, a necessity they told Steve, the number of car accidents they attended. Once Jesse had been cut free from his bonds Mark had quickly but gently removed the tape on Jesse's face, and then taken the wadding from his mouth. As he did so Jesse began to regain consciousness and he knew he had to speak, he no idea who was with him, but he just had to get through to them. "Rae, he's got Rae." Jesse began to shake and Jo grabbed the duvet from the bed and covered him over with it.

"Who has got her, Jesse?" Steve looked at him with concern, he wasn't sure if Jesse even knew who they were.

"Levington, Levington came and took her. He'll kill her, Steve, we have to get her back, please." Jesse pulled himself up and grabbed at Steve's shirt. A look of agony crossing his face as he did so. "Why didn't anybody tell us he was free…? Why didn't you tell us…?  I had no chance to protect her… he'll kill her Steve, and our… baby, you know that." His words seemed to use up all his energy and he slumped down on the gurney, unconscious once more.

Steve took a breath and took a step backwards, "Baby, my God, she's pregnant? Dad, take Jesse to Community General, Jo and I will take the car, then we can go on to the precinct once we know how he is. I need to find out what is going on." He walked into the lounge as he was talking. "And let's get rid of these damn balloons." 

Jo, who was walking behind him collected up all the strings she could as she passed and took them with her. Then they headed out together towards the parking lot.


	16. Chapter 16 Desperation

Desperation 

The ambulance, its siren screaming a warning, came to a halt outside the ER at Community General and Mark leapt out and rushed in with Jesse. Alex and Amanda were both waiting as the gurney came to a halt outside Trauma Two.

"Ok, Jesse has been shot, he's lost a lot of blood, he's dehydrated, and he's been badly beaten. He is also in shock, and he crashed on the way over. I want an OR set up immediately, Alex you're with me." Mark had hardly paused for breath since he left the ambulance. By the time he had finished speaking Jesse was in the Trauma Suite and everybody knew exactly what he or she was doing.

"Ok, on my count. One, two, three." Jesse was moved across onto the table and the original gurney was removed. As Mark started to gently undo Jesse's shirt all the alarms started to go off again.

Steve and Jo had followed the ambulance to Community General, and they entered the ER just as the sound of alarms filled the air. They saw Amanda sitting outside Trauma Two and stopped for a moment.

"Amanda I'm gonna take Steve to the doctor's lounge, he is wound up way too tight to stay here." Jo looked at Steve, his eyes were on the doorway of Trauma Two and the feverish activity beyond. "Honey, come on, they don't need us waitin' out here, let's go sit." She pulled on his arm and reluctantly Steve moved away from the scene in front of him, but he didn't think he would ever forget the sight.

Alex put his hand on Mark's shoulder. He wasn't exactly sure how long he and Mark had been working on Jesse, but he felt he needed to intervene. He checked the clock as he waited for Mark to turn to him. He had been doing CPR for ten minutes, while Mark had been trying to shock him back, but maybe enough was enough. "Doctor Sloan, I think you should stop." He could see that Jesse wasn't responding, and he was getting very worried for the older doctor in front of him.

"No! I can't… Not yet. Nurse go and check on that OR."

"Yes, Doctor Sloan." One of the other staff members left the room, spoke quickly to Amanda as she passed and then went on to do her errand.

Amanda stood up and walked down towards the doctor's lounge, looking over her shoulder at the trauma suite as she did so. As she opened the door Jo and Steve both leapt up and moved across to her.

"Amanda, what's happened?" Steve could tell from his friend's face that things still weren't going well.

"Sit back down, Steve, Jo. I just thought I should come see you, you know that he crashed again… it's taking a while to get him back."

"An' Rae, without Jesse, we will never have a chance to find her." Jo wiped at the tears she felt and turned to find Steve looking at her with fury in his eyes.

"Don't speak like that, we will find her, and Jesse will be all right…" The anger left Steve's voice as he carried on talking, "…he has to be."

.

It was an hour later that Steve stood in his friend's room and was able to collect his thoughts. His Dad had managed to stabilise Jesse's condition, and he was finally alert and coherent. At last something was going right. Slowly Steve moved across the room, not wanting to startle him.

Jesse lay very still, and tried to see how much of the room was visible to him without moving his head. He saw Steve move into his eye line and smiled.

"Hey, Buddy, you gave us a real scare this time! What happened?"

"Steve, did you find her yet? He'll kill her, if he knows about the baby, he will kill her." Jesse could feel himself getting very agitated, and he shut his eyes. He knew that he could be in big trouble if he moved.

"Jess, listen to me. Dad will be back up in a little while, he's only gone to get the brace, if you promise to keep still, I will talk to you, ok? You're stable now, you know that, but if you get agitated you will need more than that blood transfusion. Promise?"

"Ok."

Steve took a deep breath. "It is gonna take some time to find her… I know, Jesse, she doesn't have a lot of time, but she doesn't look pregnant, and that will be in her favour. I'm heading back to the station now and I'll see what I can do to help. There are two cops on your door so he won't get to you. I'll report back to one of them and then they just need to put their head round the door to let you know what's going on." Steve stopped talking for a moment as he saw Jesse's eyes begin to get heavy. "Now don't move, you know you have to stay still." But Steve could see that Jesse wasn't going to be moving, he was already half asleep.

 "Find her for me, Steve, I need her here."

"I'll try, Jess, I'll try."

Steve stopped to talk with the policemen outside the room as he left, and told them that he would send any information through them for Doctor Travis and Doctor Sloan, then he headed down to the doctor's lounge to meet back up with Jo.

Jo parked the car at the precinct and rushed round to open Steve's door. She knew that he wouldn't want to be kept waiting, she also knew that whatever temper he let fly now would have nothing to do with either herself or his situation. His fury was already directed at whoever it was that hadn't let anybody know that Levington was free. They were already later than they had meant to be getting here, but it had been important for Steve to be with Jesse until he had come round.

Bob was standing behind his desk waiting for his replacement so that he could go home when he saw Steve Sloan and a very pretty young lady come rushing into the station. "Steve, I thought you were on sick leave. Can I help you?"

"No, but you can tell me whether the Captain is in." Steve's voice was just short of unrestrained rage, but both Jo and Bob heard the pain there as well, and they could see he had his arms wrapped round his ribs to protect himself.

"Ok, pardon me. Yes he is in, but I think he has the Chief with him right now." Bob had taken a step back as he had felt the heat from the Lieutenant's words.

"Good, that will save us explaining it twice then." Steve and Jo headed for the stairs.

"Ah, excuse me, Ma'am, but I have to sign you in as a visitor."

"She's with me. Jo Walters. We don't have time for this, Sergeant." They were both at the top of the stairs before Steve had finished speaking. He stormed into the squad room and straight over to his Captain's door. Jo was right behind him, and she placed a restraining hand on his arm. Cheryl was sitting at her desk, she saw the two of them rush past and looked up, worry crossing her face. She had felt fine and had persuaded her mom to let her come back to work early, as long as she went home every night.

"I think I had better do the knockin' honey." Jo rapped gently on the door and then making sure that Steve didn't move, she waited.

Jesse wasn't sure what had woken him up, but slowly he became aware of voices outside his door.

"…liability since her first case. She went rushing off… most got herself killed, and Sloan didn't have any idea..."

Jesse wanted to call out, to tell them that it hadn't happened that way, but he knew that he mustn't move. He couldn't hear everything that they were saying, but he felt that he had to stay awake and try and listen, so that he could tell them later that they had it wrong.

"This Levington… takes the cake… gotten to her, …seems final… Martin always liked her… would have been better off … doctor friend… can't stay out of his own hospital." The voice changed then and Jesse knew that the other cop was talking.

"… it's over… no comeback..."

Jesse felt his head swim, he couldn't believe what they were saying. He must have been asleep for a long time, and Steve had sent news. He realised that he was missing what they were saying, and so once again he concentrated hard.

"…Jane Doe is her. No doubt..."

They had found her. Jesse couldn't dispute what he had just heard. Why hadn't Steve come back, or Mark.  Rae was dead, and he hadn't prevented it and nobody had even bothered to come and tell him. He hadn't been able to save her, he had promised her that he would always be there, and straight away he had let her down, and now she was gone. He moved his hands through his hair, and realised that he would never see her do that again. Taking a deep breath he removed the IV giving him the blood transfusion, and then he got carefully out of bed, knowing that he needed to be quiet and careful to do what he had to do. If the bullet moved now, he could be paralysed before he got a chance to do this.  He went over and picked up a carton of tablets, he checked the label and then, brushing a tear from his face, Jesse walked painfully over towards the sink.

Captain Newman had been discussing Steve Sloan's absence when he heard a knock and glanced up to see the very person looking as if he could spit fire. Guessing that if he didn't say anything his officer and the young lady standing beside him would enter anyway, he sighed. "Excuse me, Sir. I think this could be important… Come."

The door crashed open as Jo turned the handle and Steve pushed at the same time.

"I think that it's open now, Lieutenant, Ma'am. Won't you come in? Ah, I see you are in. So to what do I owe this unexpected visit?" The Captain was trying valiantly to remain in control of the situation, but he had a feeling he would lose the fight any moment.

"I want to know who the hell decided not to let any of us know that Phillip Levington was loose!"

"I'm sorry, I don't understand. Who is Levington? Sit down, Lieutenant, I can tell that you are in pain." Steve sank gratefully into the chair next to him, his face pale from the exertion.

The Chief knew exactly who he was and he turned in his seat to face the two newcomers to the room. "He is the ex-police photographer who had a fixation on Detective Yeager. And I had no idea he was free either."

The Captain got to his feet and walked over to his doorway. "Chapman, here, now."

There was a pause, and then a voice floated back. "He's not here, Sir. He's tailing Robertson."

"Ok, then, Banks, you can do it instead." The Captain turned back to the group of people in his room and Cheryl came into the office.

"I want you to find out all you can about Phillip Levington, where he is, where he is supposed to be, why he isn't there, and more to the point, why we weren't informed about it. And I want it half an hour ago."

"Yes, Sir. I'll get on it right away."

The Captain sat back down at his desk. "Ok, Sloan, I imagine that there is more to this than just the need to know."

"Yes, Sir. Levington has Rae. We have no idea how long, but it must have been after Friday lunchtime I would think."

"He has Detective Yeager, why didn't you say that straight away?" Masters was on his feet as he spoke and Steve could see the worry in his eyes. He knew that Rae had a strange effect on the Chief, he sighed, that was the problem, she seemed to have a strange effect on most people she met. They seemed to love her, want her or try to kill her.

"I think we should all sit down and go through this methodically. We can't do anything until we know the facts." Captain Newman had a clean pad in front of him. "So, how do you know that she must have been taken after Friday lunchtime?"

"Because she put an announcement in the paper, which came out on Saturday. You have to get them in by mid afternoon the day before if you go in person to the offices. At least you did last time I put one in."

"What did the announcement say, Lieutenant?" It was the Chief who spoke this time.

"That Rae and Jesse Travis had gotten engaged. I guess that enraged him enough to come and reclaim what he feels is rightfully his. We found Jesse at Rae's apartment this morning, he had been shot, beaten and tied up in chains." Once again Steve was enraged, not only by what had happened, and the incompetence that had led to it, but also by his inability to do anything concrete to help.

"Good grief, I imagine that he is at the hospital right now?" The Captain looked shocked, and he could understand now why his officer had been so furious.

"Yeah, with my dad. He got him stabilised before we came over here. There is something else that you should know. Rae is pregnant."

"Oh. How do you think Levington will feel about that, Lieutenant? You have more experience of him than me." The Captain could see the situation getting more out of hand by the moment.

"I think that if he finds out he will kill her!" Steve had no doubt that what he was saying was true.

Amanda sat with her head in her hands. It was three hours since Jesse had been brought in, and still she couldn't believe it. She had a feeling that she would never truly accept what had happened. There was a half drunk cup of coffee in front of her, and a pile of wet and tattered tissues.

Alex placed his hand on hers. "Amanda, I am so sorry."

"I know, but I just can't talk about it right now. I need to go and get some air. If Mark comes back, or Steve and Jo, will you tell them where I am?" She watched the younger doctor nod his head

"I am just gonna call Steve, and I'll tell Mark." 

"Thank you, Alex." Amanda looked at him, her eyes full of tears and then she took a deep breath and left the room.

Steve's cell phone began to ring and Jo leant over and took it quietly from his pocket. She moved away to the other side of the office as she answered it.

"Hello… Alex… no, this is Jo. He can't handle a phone at the moment… No, we haven't spoken to anyone… Oh, my God."

The three men in the room looked at her, and Steve could see that she had lost all her colour. He moved quickly over to her side, wrapped his arms round her and she leant into him as she continued talking.

"No, no, I'll tell him an' we'll be over as soon as we can. Alex, you take care of Mark y'hear?" Jo turned back to the people in the room. She was shaking, and knew that if Steve didn't have a hold of her she would probably have collapsed by now.

Jo took a deep breath to calm herself, "I need a moment with Steve, an' then I have to head back over to the hospital." She steered Steve out of the room and over to his desk. She began to talk quietly to him and the Chief and the Captain saw him go grey too. Jo was speaking to him in such hushed tones that they couldn't hear any of it, but they knew by the response of the normally stoic detective that she must have devastating news.

Martin was on his seventh drop before he had a chance to see what he was delivering. Larry had stood so close to him on every previous delivery that had begun to feel claustrophobic. In the end he had go so fed up he had burst.

The sixth drop was to a small laundry, which was only big enough for two people and a bag of washing. Martin could feel the other man standing right behind him and he had finally turned. "Ok, this is the last drop where you follow me like a lost puppy. Unless it is chocolate in those boxes you are in no danger of loosing your merchandise. Now back off!"

Larry had moved outside the shop and watched as Martin had handed over two boxes, received an envelope, which they both knew was full of cash and walked back out. No words had been exchanged between Anderson and the storeowner, and they had walked back to the vehicle in silence as well.

Now Martin was in the back of the truck looking for the next set of boxes. There should be three of them with a circle and a square stamped on them. No distinguishing marks should anyone get caught. No addresses, no contents, no nothing. Martin picked up one of the boxes nearest to him and shook it. It was quite heavy, but whatever was in it shook silently. It was stuck all round with brown tape, and Martin knew that he was going to have trouble checking the contents without arousing suspicion. He found his three boxes and then walked back to the cab.

"Ok, Mandy, this guy is new too. So you may have to explain things to him, do you want me to come?" Martin just glared at him. Larry held his hands up in mock surrender. "Hey, I was joking man. I trust you."

Martin turned without a word and headed to the store, which sold computer games, and entered. He felt like he was in another world. There were large box shapes hanging from the ceiling covered with tasteless artwork and life size models of all sorts of garish monsters dotted around the shop. Almost every inch of wall space had computer consoles with racing or shooting games running on them. The rest of the shop was full of racks covered with computer game cartons.

He walked over to the counter and looked around. He couldn't see anyone; business couldn't be all that good. "Hey, anybody here?"

A young man in his early twenties came into view, "and you are?"

"I have your packages." Martin had no intention of telling him who he was.

"Ok, come in back, and lets have a look at what we have here." The young man opened up the flap and Martin moved through it. The door was opened and the two men went into the small office behind the shop.

Martin knew that Larry would have eyes on stalks, and that he would need to be quick. He took a pocket-knife out, slit the tape and opened the boxes. "There you go. Is that what you were expecting?" Martin was thanking his lucky stars that this man needed to have reassurance that they weren't fleecing him.

"Yeah, grade A stuff. Ok, the money is here." An envelope changed hands and then Martin left. He had a feeling that the guy in the store had no idea what 'grade A stuff' looked like, and he smiled to himself as he walked.

"Hey, you need to be careful, going out the back like that. Guy could have jumped you." Larry seemed more concerned than angry.

"Yeah, I guess he could. Still I survived. Now where?" Martin picked up the delivery sheet and looked at it. He looked up and back at it again. The address was just down the block from the precinct. It was also a store that he frequented a lot. His mind began to work, he needed to sort this out and get Larry to do the delivery otherwise his cover would be blown.

Detective Campbell was behind the truck as it began to drive along a familiar route.  He realised that there was every possibility of Martin getting into big trouble very quickly. He picked up his cell and put a call into the squad room.

Cheryl was sitting looking through the information that she had pulled on Phillip Levington. She knew that Rae had been stalked while she had been in London, but this guy was seriously creepy. For a moment her mind went back to her time in the British capital and she smiled. She had loved every moment of her time there, and had made some good friends. This was where she belonged however, and she could understand why Rae wanted to stay here too. There was something about this city that got under your skin, and once it had you, it didn't let you go very easily. She was brought back from her meanderings by the ringing of her phone.

"Detective Banks… Hey, Campbell…Oh, right, no, I'll get the back up but I think you should go in. There are two of you right…? Ok…wait outside the store and we'll be there in five." Cheryl put the phone down and headed towards the Captain's office. She knew that something else very big was going down, but Martin needed to be pulled out, and fast. She knocked and waited. She could see the Captain, the Chief and Steve through the glass, and Steve looked ghastly.

"Come in, Detective Banks." The Captain and the Chief stood, as they always did when she entered a room. "I hope you have some relevant information on Mr. Levington for me?"

"No, Sir, we have another problem. Detective Campbell just called in. He is tailing Martin Robertson, and he thinks that the next drop is going to be just down the block from here and he might get made. He says that there is enough evidence to pull him in. I need to go down as back up."

"Very good, Detective, but as soon as you are back you and Robertson get on with Levington, you leave Campbell and Bannister to write reports, interview suspects and every thing else, ok. This will take precedence again."

"Yes, Sir." Cheryl turned to leave the room.

"Oh, and Detective…"

"Yes, Sir?"

"Be careful." The Captain smiled at his officer as she left, and then immediately returned to the problem at hand.

"Lieutenant, do you have any idea where Levington might be hiding with Detective Yeager?"

"No, Sir, I'm sorry, but I'll discuss it with Dad when I get back to the hospital. I'm sure he will have some ideas."

Cheryl could see Steve was deep in conversation in the Captain's office as she shrugged herself, a little painfully, into her shoulder holster and grabbed her jacket. She had called down and knew that there would be two black and whites waiting to follow her lead.

She put a call through to Campbell as she climbed in her car and then she eased herself out into the traffic. She didn't want to scare the truck off, and lose the chance of the bust or getting Martin back. 

Martin pulled up outside a deli that he knew only too well. He'd bought lunch there for himself and Rae quite often in the past, and the owner knew all the cops in the neighbourhood. Martin guessed that he probably felt safe because of that fact. "Larry, you want to do this one? I have a migraine coming on, I could do with a few minutes with my eyes shut." Martin hoped that the excuse would work. He was feeling very sick, but he was pretty sure that was just nerves.

Larry looked at the young man next to him. "Yeah, you've done well today. I guess I could do just the one drop for you." He got out and went round to the back of the truck and opened it up. There were only about ten boxes left now, and he needed four of them. They should all have two stars on one side. It took only a few minutes to find them and then he was out of the truck and walking into the store.

Campbell and his partner, Bannister, moved quietly round and up to the side of the deli. As they did so they saw Cheryl and a couple of uniformed officers moving into position. Seeing her nod the two detectives announced their presence.

"Freeze. Police." 

Larry spun round a gun in his hand as he did so, but Campbell was quicker and he fell to the ground. The shopkeeper raised his hands, and the whole thing was over very quickly.

Martin had been sitting with his eyes shut, just in case Griffith came back and caught him out, so the first thing he knew about the end of his operation was the sound of a gun cocking in his ear. He turned in fear to find the smiling face of his partner Cheryl looking at him. Then she had turned serious again. "You know I have to arrest you, Martin, I'm sorry." 

"Yeah, I guess you'd better get it over with, I'm just glad you're alright." They both jumped then as they heard an exchange of gunfire, and Cheryl dropped down behind the window, and Martin lay down on the seats. As soon as they were sure that the danger had passed Cheryl opened the door to the truck and pulled Martin out. She put the handcuffs on him and escorted him to her car, sat him in the back with an officer in charge of him and then moved over to the deli. There were two men in there, one on the floor and the other up against the wall. She could see that the situation was under control so she moved over to the back of the truck. 

"Ok, I want this stuff impounded, and the truck taken back to the precinct." Cheryl moved round to the front of the truck again, pulling on a pair of gloves as she walked. Then she opened the door and picked up the clipboard with the addresses of the drops on it, and headed back over to her car. "We'll have people raid these addresses straight away, but I need to return to the station. There are other things happening that we need to get back to." 

Cheryl got into her car and drove away. Once she got out of sight of the crime scene, she stopped and uncuffed Martin. "Ok, we need to work together, I know you have been out of the loop for a good while, but I need you to get straight back into it."

"Why, it sounds serious, what's happened?"

"I'm not sure, but I know that it has something to do with Phillip Levington, and Rae."

"Oh, God, he was the guy who stalked her and nearly killed Jesse, you know, while you were away." Martin thought back, it had been a very difficult time for all of them, and he knew that for a while Rae had thought that he was her stalker. But they were still close friends, and they had gotten over that.

They were back at the precinct before they had finished talking, and Martin and Cheryl walked up to the squad room together. "I have been looking into his prison career, and well to be honest, we may as well have just given him a key before he went in."

They walked over to the Captain's door and waited. Cheryl knocked and they were waved in.

"Captain, I think this criminal belongs to us." Cheryl smiled as she moved out of the way so that Martin could be seen."

"Robertson, welcome back. I wish that I could spend more time talking about your case, but we really need to get on with finding Detective Yeager."

"Finding her? You mean that creep has her?" Martin looked horrified, as did Cheryl.

The Captain nodded his head.  "Yeah, and there is more. Come in both of you, and shut the door."

Rae wasn't sure what day it was, or where she was, but she knew that she was getting weaker and weaker. She had been trying not to consume what Levington gave her, but she had to eat for her baby's sake. The drugs he was giving her seemed to be in the food for one meal, and the drink for another, there seemed no pattern to it, and she couldn't keep fighting him. She tensed up as the door opened and he walked towards her.

"Well, my darling, I think I have kept you confined for long enough. It is time you learnt what it means to be my wife. So I suggest you get dressed, there are clothes in the closet, and then you can come into the family room, and we can discuss your chores for today."

With that Levington moved over and undid her bonds. He then left the room, turning to speak as he reached the door. "Oh, and you have five minutes, my sweet, or I will be back."

Rae rubbed her wrists. It was the first time she had been left unattended and unbound since the day she arrived. She had only been let out of the bedroom to eat and use the bathroom. But sometimes she seemed to wake up in a different room. She knew he was trying to disorientate her, and he was succeeding.

Slowly Rae stood up and moved over to the closet. She opened the door and then she just stared. Inside were three dresses, more suited to Levington's mother than herself, but she guessed she had no choice. She pulled the one nearest to her off its hanger and pulled it over her head. She looked down at herself. The dress was a dull dusty pink colour. It had three buttons at the neck, and long sleeves. It was what her mother would call an a-line shape, and she hated it. But at least it would hide the fact that her pregnancy as it began to show. She felt her chest constrict as she let Jesse's face appear in her mind. It had occurred to her as she had lain on the bed earlier, that nobody would go and look for either of them until Tuesday, because that was when he was due back at work. She had no idea what day it was, but she hoped that he had been found. She couldn't think any further than that.

Jo had arrived back at Community General, in a daze. She headed straight for the doctor's lounge where she knew she would find Mark and Alex and maybe Amanda as well.  She tapped on the glass and then slowly opened the door. Mark stood up immediately he saw her, and Alex followed suit.

"Honey, I am so glad you are here, but where's Steve?"

"He's gonna get someone to drive him over. He needed to fill the Captain an' the Chief in on what had happened so far, an' to tell him about Jesse…" her voice tailed off, and she ran her hand across her eyes. "Mark, what happens now?"

"I have spoken to a reporter, and the news will be in the paper tomorrow. She said that she thought it would probably make the front page, as Jesse's so well known."

"Does she understand about what you wanted said?" It was Alex who spoke. He looked tired and dishevelled.

"Yeah, she has worked with us before, she knows how to word this thing so it is reported accurately." 

"Alex, Jesse said that Rae was pregnant." Jo looked at the doctor. She knew that he was Rae's physician. "I can't even begin to understand how frightened she must be."

"She is still in her first trimester, hopefully it won't show. She didn't seem to be too bothered by morning sickness, but she will be way more at risk because of it. The guy is a lunatic." Without realising it Alex was rubbing his arm as he spoke. He could still remember seeing the car as it bore down on Jesse. He tried to switch his mind away from Jesse. He couldn't think about his friend, not right now, it was just too much.

Rae looked at the list written on a piece of paper resting on the table. Some of the things on there were ludicrous, but she knew that she couldn't refuse to do them; he was way too unstable to antagonise. The first item was washing up, that she could cope with. "What time is it?" She looked across at the man sitting the other side of the table.

"Now, we have gone over this. If you wish to speak to me you know how I must be addressed. I suggest you try again."

Rae took a deep breath. She knew if she was going to survive this ordeal she had to work with this man, so that she could move against him. "I'm sorry. What time is it, Husband?" She managed to repress the shudder that threatened to overwhelm her.

He looked at her and slowly lifted his right arm. "It is ten past two in the afternoon. I expect the washing up done, the meal cooked and the family room tidied up by five." I will be in here reading should you want me. The rest of the items on this list will be carried out tomorrow."

Rae rose from her seat. She headed into the small kitchen and her heart sank. She still didn't know what day it was, but one thing she was sure of was that every dish used since she had arrived was looking at her from the draining board. She began to stack them in tidy piles so that she could work her way methodically through them. As she let the water into the basin her tears mixed with it. She couldn't help but let them fall, and she tried not to think about the life she had left behind. There was no way anybody could find her. She was one single person, hidden away in a huge city. Levington had beaten her. Her life, that she loved, was over and when the pregnancy began to show she had a feeling that her entire life would be over too.

By the time she had finished the washing up it was almost four o'clock. For someone who provided salad and a small side dish her new husband had sure used up a lot of dishes. Once they were all washed and dried Rae began to put them away. The cupboards were almost empty and so she organised the kitchen as she went. She realised with a sinking heart that slowly she was accepting that she would never leave this house.

"I would suggest that you start the dinner, you still have this room to tidy." The voice broke through her thoughts from the other room. Rae jumped and then she moved over and opened the refrigerator. Inside there was a pack of pork chops, the ever-present salad and two packs of beef burgers. Rae moved over to the cupboard that she had seen had food items, and looked through that. There was some tinned sweet corn, and under the sink there was a bag of potatoes.  Then Rae checked the utensil drawer and found no sharp knives or peeler. Sighing to herself she took a dinner knife from the drainer and slowly and with difficulty she began to peel the potatoes. Once they were done, it took her another ten minutes to make the salad and then she took the pork out of the refrigerator and put it in the oven.

Taking a deep breath Rae picked up the polish and a cloth and headed into the other room. Phil stood up as she entered the room. "You have just under an hour to get this room tidied and the dinner on the table." He moved away across the room, and as he went by the dresser he swept his hand across it. The books and the pot plant on there crashed to the floor. Then he smiled at her and left the room.

The tears that came to her eyes this time were ones of anger and resentment. She went back into the kitchen for the brush and got rid of the soil that was on the carpet. She began to polish the surfaces, and then she put the books back. It didn't take long before the room was presentable once again, and she went back to the dinner. Rae looked under the sink. There was a cleaning spray, and washing up liquid, but that was all. She considered putting some of the washing up liquid in the salad, but decided against it. She would wait. One day she would get the chance to destroy the man, but she would wait.

The meal was eaten in silence and then Rae cleared the table. She came back into the room once she had done all the tidying up and stood quietly by the table. After five minutes Phil looked up.

"It is half past six and I need to go for a run. I suggest that you come with me." He stood up then, and Rae could see that he held a gun in his hand. A thought flitted through her mind that if she wasn't pregnant she would let him kill her, but she pushed it away, and turned towards the bedroom.

With a gun to the back of her head she began to take her dress off. She had found no underclothes when she had dressed so she stood naked before him. Then as she tried to remain calm she was pushed roughly over into the middle of the room. She lay on the bed, knowing what would follow; her arms were tied to the bedposts and then her feet. She began to pray that he wouldn't add his final piece of torture equipment, but she knew that it was in vain. The scarf was placed around her throat and then tied to her wrists.

"Goodbye my darling, I will return soon." Levington moved over to the closets and changed into his running suit.  He came back over to the bed and began to kiss her, passionately on the mouth. She felt his hands as they roamed across her body and then to her relief he stood up and was gone.

Rae let her body relax as much as she dared. The tears ran down her face, and she was unable to wipe them away. Her emotions were so raw and unstable at the moment that she had no idea how she really felt. Some of the time she felt that she could withstand Levington's mental and physical torture, because she knew that Mark and Steve would be looking for her but then the next instant she would be overwhelmed with hopelessness and feel that she would never escape his clutches.

Steve had arrived at the hospital a while after Jo. He too had headed towards the doctor's lounge. Martin had also driven there, as the Captain had insisted that he go and be checked over.

Mark had taken Robertson down to a trauma room to do the examination, and Steve had moved over to where Jo was sitting and had taken her in his arms. He tried to ignore the feeling of pressure as she leant into his ribs, because he needed to be next to her just as much as she needed to be next to him.

Half an hour later Martin and Mark had come back to join them and they had sat in silence for a while. Amanda had come into the room, and Alex sensing that it may be a good time to do other things had left the five of them together.

Martin stood also. "Steve, I'm gonna head back to the precinct for a while, see what we can do from there. Can you get home?" He had received just a curt nod, and so the young detective had left and returned to work.

As Martin entered the squad room he realised that something else had happened. There was an air of anticipation and knowing that hadn't been there when he had left. He moved over to where Cheryl was sitting.

"Something has happened hasn't it?"

"Yeah, Campbell got the call on Saturday on a body found just outside the city limits. Don't ask me why, but he did. Anyway the fingerprints were run through the system and came up as Samuel Middleton. Our Mr. Middleton had a little trouble with his drivers licence and had to get a new one made."  Cheryl held up the picture, which had been sent to her. The man may have been called Samuel Middleton, but he was the exact double of Phillip Levington.

For a second Martin was elated, but then he began to think. "But that doesn't help us unless we have an address for Mr. Middleton which has been taken over by Levington."

"I know, and we don't, we sent two guys to the last known address and it is just as it would have been if the guy was on vacation. But there was an ad ringed in a paper on the table for a camper van for sale. We called the number and Middleton bought it, we have the registration number, so maybe that will help."

Cheryl didn't sound convinced and Martin wasn't either. But at least it was a start. They had nothing else, and searching for Rae in this city would be like looking for a needle in a haystack.

It was ten o'clock before Steve or Jo felt that they could leave the hospital. Mark had said that he would stay overnight and look after Jesse's patients as well as his own, and Alex had already left. They drove to the beach house in silence, and then went together down to Steve's apartment. Neither of them wanted to be alone, not tonight. Not until they had found Rae. Tomorrow was going to be another horrendous day, and they both knew that until this case was over every day was going to be like that.

Jo lay in Steve's arms tears running down her cheeks. She had woken with a jolt from a dream that had Rae running toward a faceless man who had a baby in his arms. Rae was screaming and crying. Begging for the baby back because it was hers and Jesse's, that Jesse had left it for her. She had suddenly found herself awake, and Steve had moved so that she could be close to him. She looked up at him and saw that he too was lying there awake, even though it was almost three in the morning. "What are we gonna do, Steve? We have to find her. That newspaper headline will destroy her."

"Honey, I know that, but it had to be put in. There's just no way we could call all the people who would want to know." Steve kissed the top of her head and felt her silky soft hair against his face. "I know it's hard but you need to sleep. We are gonna have to be on top of everything over the next few days. There will be a lot to organise and plan. So close your eyes, and together we will get through this, I promise you that."

The sun came up over Los Angeles the next morning, as if it was just another day, but for a few it was a day that would haunt their lives for a long time. Steve and Jo slept until just after eight. The got up almost silently, and for the first time since he got home Steve just stood quietly and let Jo organise and assist him. By nine he had showered, got dressed and eaten, and was waiting in the car for Jo to lock up the beach house so that they could return to Community General. They stopped at the first newspaper stand they saw and bought a paper. As they had expected the news was right there on the front page. They threw the copy unread onto the back seat and continued their journey.

Phillip Levington took his normal morning run, having left his new wife tied to the bed. He had been so right about the problems associated with her neck, and he knew that as soon as he put the scarf there she was his and his alone. He jogged to a halt at the newspaper stand and purchased his morning paper, and then folding it up under his arm he began his journey back to the house.

Rae heard him come in. She had given up trying to work out how long he was out for; it made no difference to her anyway. But this morning there was something different about him, and the way he came back. Suddenly the door was flung open and he was there in the room a maniacal grin across his face.

"Look at this, look, my darling. I did it. I finally did it." Levington undid her arms and then her legs then he handed the paper to her and waited.

Rae picked up the paper, a feeling of dread enveloping her heart as she did so. There at the bottom of the page a headline screamed at her. 

_"Doctor Dead, Detective Missing."_


	17. Chapter 17 Doctor Dead, Detective Missin...

Doctor Dead, Detective Missing 

**_"Doctor Dead, Detective Missing."_**

_Police revealed early today that Doctor Jesse Travis, who on Saturday announced his engagement to British Detective Reagan Yeager, had died in hospital overnight. Doctor Travis was found seriously injured in his fiancée's apartment on Monday morning. Doctor Mark Sloan, a spokesman for Community General Hospital where Doctor Travis was employed, and a personal friend of the couple, said that the whole medical community was shocked by his untimely death and the young doctor would be sorely missed. There is no word on the whereabouts of Detective Yeager, but we understand that police are treating this as a murder and kidnapping. Details of the funeral will be released to the press later today._

There was a picture of Rae and Jesse taken at the Community General fundraising ball underneath the article and a section detailing Jesse's career. Rae couldn't take her eyes off the picture of Jesse's smiling face. She couldn't believe what she was reading. She knew that Jesse had been badly hurt, but dead, Rae had worried so much about being killed herself, but she had never though of it happening to him, not while Levington had been behind bars at any rate. One tear escaped and ran down her cheek as she realised that he had finally achieved what he had set out to do.

Suddenly the paper was ripped from her hands. "That's enough, you've read it. We don't need this any more." Levington took the paper out of the room, and Rae rushed after him. She watched as the front page was ripped up in front of her and then her captor turned back to face her.

"So, my darling, there is no reason for you to even think about him anymore. You are mine, and nothing will ever part us again. Now, I would like my breakfast on the table in ten minutes. And I would suggest that you get dressed first. I think maybe the blue dress today." Phil grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her round, then he pushed her back the way she had come, and shut the bedroom door behind her.

Rae found herself alone, and she slid to the floor, overcome with the emotions that she had managed to keep inside while Levington had been in the room. She could hardly breathe, and she wrapped her arms around herself, her baby was going to be born without a father, and she knew that it didn't matter what Levington did to her now, her life was already over.

Suddenly she felt his hands on her as she was pulled roughly back to her feet. "I told you I want my breakfast now, so dressed or not dressed, the kitchen is this way."

Rae brushed at her tears, she had no idea when she would have time to grieve, but she knew that if she showed her feelings to this man he would only make her suffer more because of them. So, squaring her shoulders she headed towards the kitchen.

Mark and Amanda were both sitting in the doctor's lounge when Steve and Jo arrived, Alex was busy but he would join them later. There were some pamphlets on funeral homes and florists on the table, and it looked as if the two doctors had been looking through them for a while. 

"Hey, guys, how are you doing this mornin'?" Jo held the door open for Steve to walk in. 

"Hanging in there, Sweetie, how about you? Did you get some sleep?" Mark looked concerned as he watched the two of them enter the room.

"Yeah, some, Dad, but it's hard, y'know." Steve sat down, and looked at his hands. "D'you think somebody would re-plaster my hands after my x-ray this morning? Only somehow they seem real out of place right now."

Mark looked at his son with sadness. What had been such a wonderful fun activity had become something to hide; his life shouldn't be like that. With a small sigh he began to speak, even though he knew Steve wouldn't like what he had to say.  "Go down and see Alex, I'm sure that he can help you, well he can x-ray them for you, but I have to warn you, I don't think he will replace your casts. No, Steve, wait." Mark could see that Steve was barely stopping himself from butting in. "You need to keep your hands encased continually. Unless there is a medical reason those casts won't come off. But why not tell Alex your problem, I think he could do with something else to think about for a while." _I know I sure could._ "We'll let you know what we have arranged when you're finished."

"But I've had plaster removed for x-rays before." Steve looked confused.

"I know, Son, but your hands were so badly broken that the plaster needs to be there continually. I'm sorry."

Steve took a breath, "Ok, I'll be back soon, I have a couple of other things to do, and well, I have to write the eulogy, and I can't do it by myself, and I am gonna need help, and not just with the writing…" Steve turned and left the room; it was obvious to all those who were left that he couldn't say anything more.

Jo looked over at Mark, "Should I go with him do you think?"

"No, let him be for a while. This is what we have so far."

Steve walked down to the ER and saw Alex writing notes at the desk. The doctor turned as he heard footsteps and tried to smile at his friend.

"Hey, Steve, what can I do for you?" 

"I need to have my hands x-rayed. Jesse was supposed to do it, but well…"

Alex's smile disappeared. "Of course, come with me, I can do that. Wow, what happened to your casts?"

"CJ and Dion practiced their artwork on me on Saturday. I would like them replaced, and then keep these, but Dad said that you won't be able to do that."

Alex shook his head. "Why do you want them replaced?" He smiled again as he looked at the pictures that CJ and Dion had drawn.

"I just don't feel right wearing them, what with the funeral and all." 

"Oh, of course, sorry." Alex's smile fell away once again, and he began to think. "I guess I could put a fresh layer of plaster over them."

"But then I would lose the drawings, and I really want to keep these." 

"Yeah, I would want to if they were mine too, they're great, come on let's go shall we?" The two men walked off together, neither of them saying very much, and in no time they arrived at the x-ray unit. 

Steve sat with his hands out in front of him while Alex hid behind the screen and pressed the button to take the first of the pictures. Ten minutes later they were both looking at a set of photos of the inside of Steve's hands. 

"So, what do they tell you?" Steve couldn't believe how hard his heart was beating. He was glad that he was sitting down.

"Well, I looked at your previous set of x-rays while I was waiting for these, and I saw Jesse's notes that said he was concerned they weren't beginning to heal as quickly as he would have liked."

"And… And… For God's sake, Alex, don't keep me waiting!" Steve could feel his barely contained temper struggling to get out.

"Sorry, Steve, they have started to heal. You can see on this x-ray that there are changes since the last ones were taken."

Steve looked between the two and he could see that they looked different. "Yeah, thanks, Alex. But I guess I still have to wear the casts, huh?"

"I'm afraid so. You will need them for a while yet. I know you have the pins, which you can see on the x-ray, but until the bones have healed the casts are needed. And then there will be physiotherapy for some time too. I guess Jesse told you that."

"Yeah, you know I still can't believe that it isn't him doing all this." Steve turned away, knowing he had just slighted his young friend. "I'm sorry, Alex."

"Hey, I understand, I wish he was doing it too. It's ok."

"Yeah, I know you do. Dammit, it just burns me up that this would never have happened if someone who knew about Levington and Rae had been on duty the day he escaped…What, what did I say?" Steve looked at the young doctor standing beside him, and saw a sly grin on his face.

"It burns you up, huh?"

"Yeah, why? Look, Alex, there is nothing in this business that makes me want to smile." Steve could feel his temper surging to the surface.

"Just wait here, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you, but you gave me a great idea."

Steve watched Alex hurry off down the hallway. It would be nice to know what his great idea had been. He shook his head and tried to get his mind round the fact that he had to write a eulogy for his best friend. Jesse had saved his life more than once, and he hadn't had the chance to repay him. His brightly coloured hands seemed to laugh at him, and remind him of happier times when he didn't want to think about them. He let the guilt and grief build up inside him and slowly they turned to a surging rage.

"Arghhh!" He shouted and pounded his hands against the wall. Once again the pain in his ribs almost took his breath away.

"Hey, Steve, come on, keep that up and we will have to give you new casts, those ones will have to be removed while we repair the additional damage you do to yourself."

Steve turned, he hadn't realised that Alex had come back, he looked away ashamed of losing control again. "Sorry."

"You will be, you need to be careful." Alex felt strange telling his friend these things, but he knew it was up to him now.

"Ok, I said sorry, and now are you gonna tell me what your great idea was?"

Alex was holding something that looked to Steve like a pair of support stockings except that they were shaped like long gloves.

"Give me your arm," the young man said.

Steve did as he was asked and Alex slid one of the 'stockings' over the cast.  When it was all the way on, he took out a pair of scissors and snipped off the ends of the fingers and the thumbs and tucked them carefully under the edges of the cast.

"What do you think?" he asked Steve.

His arm was now encased in a heavy layer of bright white spandex; Steve nodded and said, "Looks good, thanks.  Now, what is it?"

As Alex worked on covering the other arm, he explained.  "These are ready made compression garments for burn patients.  The pressure they provide reduces scarring, but they have lots of stretch, and I thought they just might fit over your casts."

As he finished up, Alex said, "Ok, all done.  Now, you can get on with your day."

Steve nodded and sighed.  "Thanks, again, Alex."  He knew he didn't sound sincere, and he felt bad about that.  

"You ok, Steve?"

"Yeah, I'm all right, and I do appreciate this, "he said waving his rigid, newly white arms in front of himself," but I'm really not looking forward to 'getting on with my day', sorry."

Alex put a comforting hand on his shoulder and said, "It'll be ok, Steve."

Steve put one of his plastered hands over Alex's, swallowed hard, and nodded.

Rae stood, just inside the kitchen door, watching as Phil Levington ate his breakfast.She couldn't keep herself from shaking, and she wasn't sure if it was because she was cold, or scared, _probably both_.  Because she hadn't come straight out to make the meal for him he had refused her permission to dress or come to the table and eat her own food. He had made her sit on a stool in the kitchen, and she just hadn't had the energy to say anything. Now that she had finished eating she stood there waiting for her husband to eat everything so that she could clear the table and do the washing up.

"I have finished. You may clear. Then there is a list pinned to the back of the kitchen door. I suggest that you get started on that straight away. And for goodness sake get dressed." He said the words as if it were Rae who wanted to be freezing cold and humiliated.

Rae came over and picked up the plate from the table and moved away without a word.

"What do you say?"

"Yes, Husband." Rae had no fight in her; she moved back into the kitchen and put the plate down. She went silently through to the bedroom and got dressed, pulling the blue dress on as ordered. Then she returned to the kitchen and began to methodically wash up the breakfast things. The smell of the dried food began to turn her stomach, and after a couple of minutes she knew she was going to need to use the bathroom. Trying to keep both the nausea and her feelings down she moved over to the doorway to the family room. "Please, Husband, I need to use the bathroom." She had gone to the toilet without permission the previous day, and had been beaten for her transgression; she didn't want that to happen again.

Levington stood up and moved over towards her. "When you have finished your washing up you may ask again." Rae turned away but felt his hand rough on her arm. "I beg your pardon."

"Yes, Husband." Rae moved back into the kitchen, but as soon as she did the smells began their work on her again, and this time she knew she had no time to ask, she turned and pushed past the man and into the bathroom, where she was sick once again.

Levington went and sat at the dining table watching her the whole time. Something was wrong with his love, he guessed she would feel a little sad about the doctor, but there was something else. He would observe her today, and get to the bottom of it.

Rae moved back into the kitchen and continued with her chores. She couldn't look at the figure in the other room, nor could she keep her hands from shaking as she carried on with the washing up. She knew that he would discipline her for leaving the room without permission and she guessed that the waiting was part of the punishment. As she lifted a wet plate from the water, the shaking got the better of her, and the china slipped from her fingers and smashed to the floor. In an instant Levington was there, pulling his belt from his pants as he came, and she tried to back away knowing that she was about to be beaten once again. 

Rae lay in the corner of the kitchen, the dress that he had pulled from her body in a heap beside her. She had humiliated herself by begging him not to hit her again, but he had just done so even harder and then he had told her that it was for her own good, and he loved her.  Her whole body and her heart ached and she was almost looking forward to the time when she would be tied to the bed once again while he went out for his run. At least then she could let her feelings back to the surface.

The details of the funeral appeared in the evening edition of the newspaper, and Levington stuck it up on the refrigerator door, where Rae saw it every time she moved in the kitchen. She knew that he planned to go to it, and she was hoping that maybe she could escape while he was gone.  The paper said that it would be held the next day at two thirty pm at Westwood Memorial. 

At twelve o'clock the next day Levington sat Rae down at the table. "I want you to drink this." He held a milk shake type drink in front of her.

"No, I won't do that." Rae felt a brief flicker of defiance light her up.

"I beg your pardon, you are my wife, and you will do as I say." Levington glared at her.

"I know that it's drugged, and I have no intention of drinking it. Not any more." Rae knew that she was pushing her luck, but she didn't care. Her lover was going to be buried in less than three hours; she had nothing to live for any more. She had been given God knew what in the last few days and her baby was probably damaged too.

Levington seemed to roar as he grabbed Rae by the hair. He hauled her into the bedroom, not caring that she banged into the doorframe as she went through and then using all his strength he threw her onto the floor. She managed to get to her feet, not wanting to be in a position where he could kick out at her. "How dare you defy me?" His hand came round and sent her flying across the room. She smashed into the wall hard and fell dazed to the ground. Once again she felt herself being pulled up by the hair, but this time she was forced back against the wall, and she could feel his hands as they began to rip at her clothing. 

The revolting dress was soon rags on the floor, and Rae tried in vain to move away from him. "Stay where you are, you bitch. I will teach you to behave as I expect my woman to." This time it was Levington's hand that went round Rae's throat and she forced herself to stay calm. "Oh, so you think you can resist me do you? Well, I doubt that." He whipped his foot across, taking Rae's legs from under her. As she crashed to the ground he kept his hand round her throat, and by the time her head slammed into the floor she was already unconscious.

Mark, Amanda and Alex had travelled to the cemetery in one car and Michael had driven Steve and Jo in a second one. Now they stood silently in a small group waiting for the priest. In front of them was a light oak coffin with five wreaths. There was one each from Mark, Amanda and Alex, a joint one from Steve and Jo, and they had arranged for there to be one from Rae too.

The notice in the paper the previous night had stated that a private service would be held, and that there would then be a few words spoken at the graveside. Flowers were not requested, and there was a notice saying that details for donations would be given later.

The weather was beautiful as Cheryl and Martin, as well as Captain Newman joined the five friends. As Levington watched from a small group of trees the service proceeded and he could see that the men were comforting both the women in the main group. He laughed. They were probably ex-girlfriends of the doctor too. He knew that Travis had only been using his Rae. Now that he was in the ground, maybe she would pull herself together and they could get on with their married life. He had been delighted with how she had behaved so far. Once he had gotten her out of the bedroom she had done all the chores he had asked her to, and then when he had her tied up each evening she had been very compliant in bed too. He just had to get the morning sickness sorted out. He realised what he had just thought. Morning sickness. She was pregnant. Pregnant with the dead doctor's child. How dare she?

Steve moved away from his friends, so that he could stand by the side of Jesse's coffin. He'd had Jo write down his thoughts, but as he couldn't hold the paper they had decided that speaking from the heart was probably the best way to go. Taking a deep breath he started to speak.

'Jesse Travis was my best friend, but he was more than that. He was the brother I never had, or realised I wanted until I met him. He was a happy friendly guy, who was going to become a father for the first time….'

On the verge of tears, Steve stopped talking.  He never thought it would be this hard. He couldn't even think the words any more. As he turned he felt Jo's hand on his arm, and he looked towards her…

Levington's sudden rage made him forget to be cautious for a moment. Standing up he began to race back to his car. 

Steve hearing a noise turned and saw a figure heading off towards the parking lot.  He swallowed hard and pointed with his large white hands. "There, I'll bet that's him, get the backup units ready to go. Now! We mustn't lose him, we have no way to find her otherwise."

Cheryl was on her radio before he had finished speaking, and soon they were all rushing back to their cars. Steve climbed in next to Cheryl, and realising that it would waste time, decided against wearing a seat belt.

The first unmarked car was two vehicles behind Levington and he was watching closely. The officer was an experienced man and he had no intention of losing sight of his quarry. Ten minutes later the car screeched to a halt outside a very rundown, strange looking house, and the officer carried on driving past, alerting Detective Banks in her car to the location of the vehicle. 

Levington rushed into the house and slammed and locked the door. He went down to where his slut of a wife was tied to the bed. He didn't even wait to untie her; he began to pound at her face with his fists, pulling on the scarf as he did so.

Rae had been slowly coming round when she heard the door open and then be slammed shut. All of a sudden it felt as if an army was attacking her. She had no way to defend herself or her child, but suddenly she knew that it was the most important thing in the world to keep the baby safe. He or she was all she had left of Jesse, and she had to save it. She tried to cry out, but before he had left the first time, Levington must have gagged her in the same way that he had done with Jesse. She couldn't speak, and she could hardly breathe. She felt the dreaded scarf tighten around her throat, and in her terror everything became a haze of panic, confusion and pain.

"You, you are pregnant, how dare you. I will make sure that the child never sees the light of day." He pulled his fist back and aimed it at her stomach. Suddenly the air was filled with noise.

"Open up, Police." 

Levington turned, and leaving Rae tied up where she was, headed back up towards the noise.

Cheryl and Steve arrived at Levington's house first, but about thirty seconds later Martin was there too. He got out of his car just in time to hear Cheryl bang on the door.

"Open up, Police."

There was no reply at first, and for a few minutes they just waited, then all of a sudden the window beside the door was shattered as bullets sprayed out of it. The three detectives hit the ground, and listened. There was no more sound, and slowly Cheryl raised her arm and tried the handle on the door. It didn't move, she nodded to Martin who pulled down on the kevlar vest he had put on before he left the cemetery, and then raising his foot he kicked at the door. It took three goes but finally the wood around the lock shattered and the door was flung open. Martin had dived over to his left as he realised he had succeeded in kicking it down, waiting for the hail of bullets that they all expected. 

Levington fired again and again as the door was suddenly wide open. But at last he had no bullets left and Martin and Cheryl both moved into his line of sight.

"Drop your weapon and put your hands on your head." Cheryl barked her instructions. "Now on the floor…ON THE FLOOR!" She had no time for this man who had kidnapped her friend, and made it necessary for them all to attend Jesse's funeral.

After Levington had been taken away Cheryl had phoned through to Mark and Amanda who were waiting just out of sight. They had come round to the house, but had waited outside, not wanting to contaminate a crime scene.

Rae could hear noises, and it sounded as if there were people walking on her. She had heard the sound of gunfire, and then shouting, but she couldn't make out the words. She had tried to call out, but she could make no sound. She didn't dare to stir on the bed because she was tied in such a way that every move she made tightened the silk scarf, which was wrapped around her throat, even more. She could open her eyes, but the room was pitch black. There was no light coming in from anywhere. For a second the thought filtered into her brain that this must be what Jesse felt like, but she pushed it back before it overwhelmed her. Suddenly the whole room lit up for a brief second and then the darkness returned. Shaken and scared Rae shut her eyes and for a minute or two prayed for the life of her child.

Slowly Rae realised that the world had grown silent. She strained her ears to hear, but there were no sounds at all. She had no idea how long the noises had continued, but now she was in no doubt that, whoever had been here, had gone. She also had no idea where she was, but she was pretty sure that wherever it was, this was where she was going to die. This time the panic was so strong that she had no defense against it. Her whole body began to shake, and as a result the scarf around her neck moved and tightened which just increased the terror she was feeling. Her breath became laboured, the startling bright light flashed in her eyes again, and finally she slipped back into the darkness.

The forensic team had gone over the house with a fine-toothed comb. They had found a large number of fingerprints, and checking on a laptop computer one of the technicians had been able to confirm that some of them belonged to a Detective Reagan Susan Yeager, LAPD. That had been the only piece of positive news that they had had the entire time they were there

Levington had said nothing before he had been taken away. Steve had stood eye to eye with him and asked him where Rae was, but he had just turned his face away and remained silent. Resisting the temptation to stamp hard on his foot Steve had moved away, once again cursing his inability to either clench his fist and knock the pervert into the middle of next week, or help with the search.

Now, three hours later, it was beginning to get dark, and Steve was sitting at the dining room table, wondering where the hell Rae was. They had searched the entire house, every closet, nook and cranny and they hadn't found her. Steve knew that Levington must have another house somewhere else, and knowing that he had been followed had led them back to this one. He slammed his hand down on the table. Damn! He had been so sure that they had him, but now it looked as if the main object of the exercise was still out of their reach. They had no idea where Rae was.

In the end, four and a half hours after they started, the teams decided to call it a night and return in the morning. The house was locked up and a man was left on the door. Steve Cheryl and Martin ducked under the yellow police tape and went back to the car. Mark and Amanda had left earlier to let, Jo and Alex know what had happened. Slowly they drove away, and Cheryl turned to her former partner.

"We will find her, Steve."

"Yeah, right. We have nothing more to show us where she is now than we had this morning. I can't believe we went through all that, and we still don't know where she is."

"Look do you want me to drop you somewhere? I can run you home if you like." Cheryl looked across at her friend. His face was lined with grief and worry. She was very concerned for him.

"No, I'll come to the station with you for a while. I need to concentrate on this, I won't be able to do anything else until I know she is alive and free." _Or dead, but I have to know either way._ He couldn't voice his fears so for the rest of the journey Steve sat in silence.

The three detectives walked up and into the squad room. Every eye in the place was focused on them. Detective Campbell, stood up and moved across. "Did you find her?"

"No. We got Levington and he should be in the lock up downstairs. Where he can rot for all I care, but Rae wasn't there." Steve looked away. The disappointment on the other officer's face just mirrored what he felt in his heart.

Steve sat down at his desk. Cheryl brought him across a cup of coffee and held it up for him to drink from. In any other circumstance Steve would have swept it away rather than be treated this way in front of his colleagues, but he was so emotionally drained that he was past such actions. He drank some of the hot liquid down and then looked up at her. She read the unspoken message correctly and placed the cup on the table. "I'll be just across the room if you need me, Steve, but in a while I have to go interview Levington, ok?"

Steve just nodded and then he sneezed. "Atishoo, Atishoo."

"Bless you." Cheryl smiled at him.

"Thanks. Did you just get a cat? I only ever sneeze when I'm at Rae's without my tablets..." Steve stopped talking as a look of horror crossed his face.

"What, Steve are you alright?" Cheryl was instantly alarmed.

"Kira, what happened to Rae's cat?"

Cheryl relaxed. "She is the reason you sneezed. When I went over to double check the crime scene I found her in the kitchen. I took her home, and she will be fine." 

"Thank you, Cheryl. She just loves that cat to death." His face reflected his pain as he realised what he had just said. "Oh, God, Cheryl."

"Hey, come on, Steve. No one is giving up, you can't either, ok?" He nodded and then he watched as Cheryl went back across the room and put his elbows on the desk and rested his head in the large palms of his hands. He tried to think. If this were someone else, someone that he didn't care so much about, what would he be doing now? He knew that bank details and rent records were being checked; in fact if he looked across the room, he knew that he would see Martin doing just that. Steve did look up. The young detective looked absolutely exhausted. He hadn't been back on active duty very long after his undercover activities. In fact Steve wasn't even sure if he had been debriefed yet. He saw Martin look up as Cheryl came back over towards him.

"Want the rest of your drink?" She lifted it up as she saw him nod and the silent words that flashed between them spanned the years that they had been together. They knew what each other was thinking, and they both knew that if something didn't break soon, then Rae was as good as dead. It was inconceivable that Levington would have left Rae in safe and comfortable surroundings, and the longer she was left alone the more desperate she was likely to become.

Rae had no idea what the time was, whether it was still the same day that she had heard all the noises or if she had been asleep for a long period of time. As she lay there she became aware of something else. She realised that wherever she was, she was completely alone. There was no noise of people. She couldn't cry out, she already knew that, but if she had been able to, she knew that nobody would hear her. 


	18. Chapter 18 Revulsion and Relief

Revulsion and Relief 

Alex and Jo had gone back to the hospital after the funeral, and now they were sitting in the doctor's lounge with Mark and Amanda waiting for Steve or Cheryl to get back in touch with them. The Captain had stayed for a while, but he had headed back towards the station once Mark had filled him in on everything that had happened since they had found Jesse. The Captain had listened intently, knowing that it was invaluable to hear everything from a different perspective. Then he had made his farewells and left.

Amanda stood up; she smoothed out her black suit and ran her eyes over the three people looking up at her. "I'm gonna go and sit for a while, I'll see you later." 

"Ok, Honey. Let us know if you need anything." Mark watched as she walked down the hallway. Everybody seemed to have a sluggish step these days. He understood, he felt the same.

Cheryl had phoned Mark to tell them that the search had been called off for the day. They hadn't found Rae, and he could hear the despondency in her voice. Alex and Jo both sat there, and Mark could see that Jo had tears in her eyes. He knew that Rae was her best friend, and his heart went out to her. He touched her on the arm and she turned and began to sob on his chest. 

Alex got up and moved away. He didn't want to intrude, but he didn't want to leave either. Rae was his first patient, the first person to have chosen him for her personal physician, but she was more than that, she was his friend, and he was worried for her. Jesse, it was difficult for him to think about him and be rational at the moment, but he knew that he would be far less of a doctor if it weren't for him. As he sat there he heard his name being called to the nurse's station in the ER. 

"I'll go Mark, if I need you I'll come back, ok?" Alex was on his feet and halfway out of the door before he had finished talking. He saw the older doctor just nod and then he was on his way.

The nurse on the reception desk silently handed him the phone and then knowing how difficult his life had been lately watched him intently as he listened.

Alex dropped the phone back down without a word, and headed back to the doctor's lounge at a run. If he needed Mark, that was what he had said. Well, now he wasn't the only one who needed him.

Cheryl put the phone back on its cradle. She had held it while Steve had spoken to Alex. Now they were on their feet and heading back out into the darkness. Neither of them could believe that they had missed something so obvious, and so they were prepared to have to search all night if necessary for what they now knew to be in Levington's house.

Mark and Jo had arrived at the cordoned off house just after Steve, Cheryl and Martin. The officer on duty had obviously been told to expect them because he waved them inside. They stood in the kitchen doorway, and watched as Cheryl and Martin began to tear the house apart.

Steve could feel his temper rising again. There didn't seem to be anything that he could do to help anybody during this investigation. In the end he started to walk around where Martin and Cheryl were working, but he was just getting in everybody's way. Jo watched him for a moment and then she moved over to his side.

"Honey, I know you are feelin' helpless right now, but you aren't helpin' by standin' in the way. Come over here with me, I could do with a hug; I am so scared for Rae, what if she isn't here? What will we do then?"

Steve looked down at her and buried his face in her hair, just for a moment. Then he pulled away and wrapped his arms around her. "Hey, hugs I can do." He kissed her gently on the top of her head. "Thanks, Jo."

"Anytime."

Steve and Jo looked back over into the main area of the house. The dining room table had been moved to one side and the carpet pulled up. Now Martin and Cheryl were searching the floor. It was apparent immediately that what they were looking for wasn't there and so they moved on into the bedroom. They had looked in this room carefully before, and seen nothing. But now they began to search with even greater care. Steve watched as Martin pushed the bed over towards the wall.

There was no carpet on the bedroom floor, but the floorboards had been painted at some stage in the dim and distant past. The pattern was almost a painted carpet. It was square in shape and there were many different borders each smaller than the previous one until the whole area was covered in patterns. As Steve and Cheryl looked at this they could gradually see another square outline on the floor. They looked at each other. There must be a way to get it open. Even though the light was on in the room, Cheryl got out a flashlight and shone it on the floor. There was a loop lying flat to the surface, which she picked up and pulled. The door, because that is what it was, moved silently up and a set of stairs was picked out in the beam shining across the room. 

Steve and Cheryl went quickly and quietly down the steps closely followed by Jo and Martin. Jo had looked into the glow from Cheryl's flashlight and only just stopped herself from crying out as she got accustomed to the dimness and her eyes took in what everybody else was looking at in horror. There, in the middle of the dark and dusty room was a bed and they could see that on the bed, lying naked and tied to the post at each corner was Rae.

Steve moved silently out of the way, and then suddenly coming back to life he called out quickly for his dad who had stayed at the top of stairs so as not to be in the way.

Mark rushed down the stairs, his medical bag in his hand. He gasped when he saw Rae lying there, but then the doctor in him took charge and he began to quickly check her over. He heard a camera whir behind him and turned to see Cheryl taking a couple of shots. 

"I need to have these, but hopefully nobody will ever see them. You can cut her loose now, Mark." Cheryl moved away from the doctor so that he could work in private.

The flash went off again and he turned. "Haven't you got enough by now?"  Mark snapped.

"It wasn't me this time," Cheryl said. She turned and saw a fancy piece of photographic equipment standing just behind her.  She examined the camera on the tripod.  There was a cable attached to it, which she followed back to a blanket hanging in the corner. She pulled the blanket aside and gasped.

"My God!"

"What is it?" Steve asked.

Cheryl pulled the blanket aside to reveal a computer monitor.  Images of Rae in all states of undress and distress flashed on the screen.

Cheryl moved the mouse to see what was under the screen saver, and she shuddered.  "Oh, my God..."

"Now what?" Steve looked over at his partner on the bed, and then flushed with embarrassment, he turned back towards the computer, but found he couldn't look at that either.

"He was building a website." Cheryl didn't quite know what else to say.

"A website? What do you mean a website?"

"Steve, if you want to understand you are gonna have to look." Cheryl could appreciate why he had turned away; she wished she could ignore it too.

Steve moved across so he was standing closer to the monitor in the corner of the room, and looked in horror at the screen. "My God, if she ever finds out about this…" Steve's voice faded away.

"Will somebody call 911, you can discuss whatever it is you have found after we get Rae to Community General." Mark's voice was tense and they could tell he was extremely worried.

"Mark, I'm on it." Jo had been standing at the bottom of the stairs waiting for something to do and so she got her cell phone out dialled 911 and put in her request for an ambulance. 

The camera flashed again, and Steve and Cheryl watched, appalled as the image was automatically downloaded to the computer.

"What the…?" Steve looked confused for a second.

"I think he was planning to have a live cam." Cheryl murmured.

Mark looked down at Rae. She had obviously been beaten on a number of occasions. He gently cut through the scarf and let it fall to the bed, then he placed his fingers on her neck and felt for a pulse. It wasn't as strong as he would like, but it was there. Her breathing was very shallow and he listened for the baby's heartbeat and his face grew grave. "I need to get her to Community General, immediately. She needs to be on a ventilator, she isn't taking in enough oxygen for herself and the baby."

"And?" Steve didn't really want to ask.

"And if that doesn't change, then the baby could die."

The journey to Community General was a very silent, troubled one. Rae had been put on the mobile ventilator, and Mark had gently checked her over as they sped along. By the time they arrived at the ER he was satisfied that apart from the beatings she had received there didn't appear to be any visible physical damage, but he had no idea what mental scars would be left behind.

"What drugs were found in Levington's house earlier, before we knew Rae was there?"

"Sedatives, tablets mostly, and some of them had been crushed up. I would say that she'd been drugged, you saw how she was, Dad, she would have gone crazy with that scarf round her throat if she had been in a position to fight back."

Mark had a puzzled look as his son spoke, and Steve realised that the only people who knew about Rae's throat were Jesse, Alex, Brian Dobson and himself _and Levington apparently._ He had a feeling that her previously secret problem would become common knowledge, at least in their small group of friends. "Ever since Leticia Howard strangled her she hasn't been able to bear anybody or anything touching her throat, except Jesse. That's why she hadn't gone back to work after she rescued Cheryl, and that's how she got the better of Levington last time. He touched her neck and she just lashed out at him. I guess he worked it out in between the first time he had her and now. I think it's gonna take a lot of effort for the results of this to wear off though… for everybody." Steve looked over at his partner, she was covered now in a blanket, and the ventilator was regulating her breathing, she was deathly pale under the facemask, but maybe the bruises on her face were making her appear more ashen than she actually was.

As the ambulance came to a halt Mark found himself once again rushing into the hospital with one of his close friends, and as on the previous occasion Alex and Amanda were waiting for him. But this time Alex took over as Rae came in. Mark watched as she was wheeled into the trauma suite, listening to the paramedic filling in the young doctor on her condition as he did so. Mark knew that the hypoxia was the main thing that they had to worry about at the moment, anything else they would deal with later.

Jo came rushing in after her best friend. She had driven over in the car, and had to admit that she was lucky not to be in an ambulance herself, her concentration was everywhere but where it should be.

"Mark, Steve, how is she?" Jo didn't think she would ever forget the sight of Rae lying on the bed, thankfully unconscious, so that she wasn't aware of the activity around her. Steve had explained to her about some of what Phillip Levington had done when Rae had been attacked last year, but she hadn't appreciated the seriousness of it, or the affect he'd had on all of her friends until this had happened.

"Jo, Jo, are you alright?" Steve placed one of his hands on her shoulder and felt her jump. "Hey, where are you? She'll be alright." Steve hoped he sounded more confident than he felt. He knew that Jo had difficulty dealing with complicated situations, and this was surely one of those.

"Sorry, I was just thinkin'. An' I know you are just sayin' that to make me feel better. But thank you, darlin'." She reached up and kissed him tenderly on the lips. Just his presence in a room made her feel stronger and more able to cope with what life threw at her. She felt him wrap his arms around her and she leant her head on his shoulder. 

Amanda saw the door to the trauma suite open and Alex come out. She moved over to him. "Alex, what is it? Can we help?" She could see that he looked anxious, and she felt her heart begin to break all over again. She saw Steve and Jo out of the corner of her eye, as they broke away from each other, worry written on their faces.

"I haven't finished yet, but I would be grateful for some assistance, Mark, please?" The young man looked at the elder doctor standing in front of him.

"Of course, anything I can do to help, come on you can tell me what you have done so far." The two men disappeared back into the trauma suite and Steve, Jo and Amanda found themselves standing, waiting. 

"Come on, let's go to the lounge, we could all do with a coffee." Steve moved over and placed his hand on Amanda's back, and she moved down the hallway with him. Jo watched them for a second before catching them up and slipping her arm through Steve's.

It was another hour before Mark came into the doctor's lounge for his own cup of coffee. As he entered he could see the three of them sitting together on the sofa. Steve was sat in the middle and they were all leaning back with their eyes closed. He smiled. "My son, a rose between two thorns!"

"Hey, I heard that." Amanda stretched slightly in her seat. "How is she, Mark?"

"I think she will be ok, physically at least. Her breathing is back to normal, and Alex thinks he will be able to take her off the ventilator very soon. The injuries she received are pretty horrific, but they will heal. It looks like he kept hitting her but not only with his fists. She was beaten as well, probably with a belt and there are bruises on her hips and thighs, I am not so sure about them, maybe she was pushed into something. There are other things too, but I can't go into any more detail."

"My God, Mark, how is she ever gonna get over all this? I was so worried when Alex came and got you. It seems now that it was much worse than we all feared." Amanda was sitting up and watching her friend now.

"It wasn't the beatings he required help with, although he did want a witness to what he was seeing, he could deal with them. He wanted another opinion, he was worried about the baby, just like I was, but at this early stage of a pregnancy there is so little we can do. I guess we should be grateful that he didn't realise that Rae was pregnant, but if she was at the end of her second trimester instead of her first then we would be able to intervene if necessary."

"Isn't there any way you can find out how the baby is? If he beat her, couldn't it have harmed the baby?" Jo was sitting upright in her seat as well, and she was watching Mark intently as she asked her question. 

"Rae is down in maternity at the moment having an ultrasound scan, then she will be admitted to the ICU. That will give us a little more information to go on, but it will be a long hard road for her and her baby. We have no idea how much of the stuff we found in Levington's place he had given her. She has had blood drawn but it will be a little while before we get the results of that back. So it is just a case of waiting… and praying."

"Come and sit down Dad, you look exhausted. Like you say, we can only wait. But if somebody could put a call in for me, I'll see what's happening at the precinct." Steve had felt his anger rise as he listened to what his father had to say. Jo had put her hand on his arm, and he had managed to calm back down. He knew he wouldn't do anybody any good if he lost it now. _But it would make me feel a hell of a lot better._

Jo smiled at him and took her cell phone out of her pocket. Since he had been looking for Rae his demeanour had changed. The helplessness had only resurfaced when he hadn't been able to help with the search at Levington's.  He had struggled with the news about Jesse, but then all of them had, but he had needed the responsibility of doing something. Maybe it would help him with the rest of his enforced layoff.

Cheryl had arrived back at the station exhausted but triumphant. She was extremely worried about her friend, but at least she was on her way to the hospital, and not still lost somewhere in the suburbs of Los Angeles. Now as she climbed the stairs to the squad room she knew she needed to get her mind back on her job.

"Hey, Cheryl, did you find her?" It was Chapman who called out before she was even back in the room.

"Yeah, we did, but she was in a bad way. She is on her way to Community General now, I'll give them a call a little later."

She turned as she saw Martin come in behind her. He looked pale and drawn, and she felt for him. He had sure learnt about being a detective the hard way over the past few weeks. "If you will excuse me, guys." Cheryl moved over to the Captain's office, and knocked on the door.

"Come… Ah, Cheryl, I hope you have some good news to pass on." The Captain looked worried, and Cheryl nodded.

"Yes, Sir. We found her. Steve was right, the house did have a cellar, but it was very well hidden. Rae was…" She paused, she didn't want to embarrass either her friend or her boss, but she guessed the details would come out in the end. "She was tied to the bed, it was a four poster type of design and she was fixed, one limb to each corner. She also had a scarf round her throat, which from what I could see meant that every time she tried to move to loosen her bonds it would tighten around her neck. I took some photos Sir, but I hope we don't ever have to use them."

"Why, Detective?" The Captain wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer. He liked the English officer, and he knew that she had suffered a great deal for her job since she had been here. He had a feeling that he was about to hear even more suffering.

"She had been badly beaten, around the head and the body, and… and she was naked, Sir."

"I see, and who actually saw her in this condition?"

"Well, I did, Sir, obviously. Steve, his girlfriend, Jo, who is Rae's best friend, Doctor Sloan and Martin. Captain, Rae was unconscious, so she will have no idea that we all saw her that way. From what I understood from Steve, she is gonna have a real problem with it all, and I think that if we can keep this and the other things we found from her and everybody else, it would probably be a good thing."

"What other things did you find?"

Cheryl took a deep breath. She still couldn't quite believe what she had discovered on the computer. "Levington had been making up a website on Rae. His screensaver was made up of pictures of her as she was tied to the bed, and the stuff he had downloaded to his site files were even worse."

"Good, God. What have you done with the computer and all the discs?"

"I took it to pieces and brought it over here in the trunk of my car. I have put the whole lot into the evidence locker for the time being, with instructions that nobody looks at it without clearing it with you or me."

"Good that is fine, but if Levington pleads not guilty, as he did last time then all of it may well have to be presented at the trial."

"Yes, Sir, I know. But I guess for a little longer we can hope."

"Well, it does spring eternal so they say. Now, I would love to be able to send you and Robertson home, but we have a prisoner downstairs who needs to be interviewed. I would be obliged if you could do that first."

Cheryl looked at her boss. The words were politeness themselves, but the tone of voice made it clear that it was an order not a request. "Yes, Sir. We'll get straight on it." She headed back to her desk and picked up a pen and a pad, then she indicated to Martin and they headed towards the interview rooms. It was five minutes before Levington was brought up to them, and they sat down to interview the man who had nearly killed their friend and colleague.

Cheryl made sure that the recording equipment was working correctly, and then she started the interview. Phillip Levington sat opposite her with a bored expression on his face.

"Phillip Levington you have been arrested and charged with first degree murder, rape and kidnapping. Do you understand the charges?"

"Not rape, Detective, I am her husband."

Cheryl looked at him and then decided not to rise to the bait. "Do you understand the charges?

Levington looked at her for a moment, and then with a satisfied smiled he replied. "Yes. I do. You know I really need to call my wife, she will be very worried that I am not there for her."

Cheryl was absolutely speechless; she couldn't believe the nerve of the man. "I beg your pardon?" She asked him to repeat himself, hoping it would give her a little time to gather her thoughts.

"My wife, Reagan, she will be very worried that I am not home. I need to call her to tell her I will be detained."

"Yeah, like for life." Martin couldn't help himself.

"Detective, that will do." Cheryl glared at him. "Mr. Levington, you do not have a wife, you kidnapped Detective Yeager, and held her at your house as a prisoner, against her will, but she is not your wife."

"Actually she is. We were married on Saturday. She is my legal wife. If you get in contact with my mother she can provide you with the marriage certificate. And she cannot get it annulled due to non-consummation, if you get my drift." He stopped talking as a smile passed across his face. Cheryl had to mentally count to ten so as not to earn herself a suspension, or worse.  "If you would be so kind as to hand me that paper over I will write down her address." He stopped talking then and sat back in his chair with the satisfied smile now firmly in place.

Cheryl balled her hands into fists under the table and then concentrating her thoughts began to speak again. "I see. Well, we know that you took Detective Yeager from her home without her consent and that is kidnapping. Maybe you would like to tell us why you did that…" Cheryl stopped herself. "Ah, you have the right to have a attorney present for this questioning." She couldn't believe that she had forgotten to say that, but his previous statements had taken all the wind out of her sails. She needed to get out of this room for a moment.

"Detective Robertson, I need to speak to you outside for a minute." Cheryl stopped the recording equipment and called the guard. Then she headed back up to the squad room, her mind spinning. As she got to her desk her phone began to ring.

"Detective Banks…Hi, Mark, Yeah ok, I'll hold for him… Steve, how is she…? Oh, ok… Ah yeah, actually I do… Steve, Levington says that Rae is his wife, that he married her… lawfully on Saturday… No, I don't… Look calm down, I'll find out what I can and get back to you. Ok…Bye."

Steve couldn't quite understand what he was hearing. He just walked away from Mark who was holding the phone to his ear without a word and stared silently out of the window. After a minute he turned to his friends who were all looking at him with worry on their faces. 

"Son, what is it? What has happened?"

Steve moved slowly across the room, suddenly all his aches and pains seemed a lot worse. "Cheryl has been interviewing Levington and…and he says that he is married to Rae. Legally, I mean." Steve sat down, he couldn't believe that anyone would willingly marry Levington to anybody, and he knew that Rae wouldn't have readily gone through with a marriage ceremony, so she must have been drugged. But a priest wouldn't marry a drugged woman. "Arghhh, I just can't work this out, how could it happen? Every possibility grinds to a halt. How could anybody agree to marry that lunatic to Rae?"

"I guess we will just have to wait until she comes round and then we can ask her. There is no point in second guessing ourselves, the only …" Mark stopped talking as he saw Alex come into the room.

Jo and Amanda leapt up as Alex began to speak. "I have admitted her, and she is in the ICU. I don't think she will be there for long, but for now it is the best place for her. There are a couple of things I need to discuss." He paused as he saw Jo help Steve to his feet and they headed towards the door. "What did I say? Where are you going?"

"Well, if you are gonna discuss Rae's medical condition we shouldn't be here, should we?" Steve looked a little confused.

"No, you should stay. I am going to need your help with this, all of you." Alex looked at the four people watching him. He wasn't usually in this position, and he felt a little embarrassed telling Mark and Amanda how to treat a patient, but he was Rae's physician, and he had trained for a long time for this. "I need somebody to be with her all the time. I daren't give her anything to help her sleep, or to keep her dreams at bay, so when she wakes up, she is gonna have to stay awake until she falls asleep naturally." 

"I can take the first watch. You don't need hands to do that." Steve spoke in a tone that suggested that nobody argue with him.

"Ok, thanks, Steve. Ah, the other thing is a little more difficult. I don't know if it is real or not, but Rae has a wedding ring on. Her finger was bruised, I can't get it off. Once she is awake I can cut it off, but I thought you should know… What? Why do I get the feeling that there is something that I should know too?"

Steve took a deep breath. "Cut it off, now, she would want you to. Cheryl just called. Levington says that he and Rae were married on Saturday."

"But I thought that Rae and Jesse…" Alex didn't finish, he couldn't, the whole thing kept getting worse and worse.

"Alex, what about the baby?" Jo was so worried for her friend, and she couldn't imagine how she would react to something happening to her child. 

"I took an ultrasound, and it is very small, I need to run some more tests before I can even say how many months pregnant she is, but the organs are at the stage of about an eight week foetus. We are gonna have to keep a close eye on her and her baby."

Jo moved towards the door again. "Alex, I know that Steve is gonna sit with her first, but I just need to go see her, can I do that?"

"Of course, I'll take the two of you up." The three friends headed towards the elevator and Mark and Amanda looked at each other without a word, but with both of them knowing what the other needed, then they hugged and held on to each other for a long while.

Alex took Steve and Jo to Rae's room and they quietly entered. Rae's face was covered with bruises, and still she looked very pale. The ventilator was doing its work and they could see that she was still unconscious. Jo moved over and very gently kissed her friend on the forehead. "Steve, you know where I will be if she comes round or if you need me. I'll come back an' see you a little later." Jo kissed him on the lips, and the tender embrace became more desperate just for a second or two and then they parted. 

Rae could feel the world around her becoming apparent again. She kept her eyes tightly shut, not wanting to open them to find her despised husband sitting beside her. She had heard him come into the room and pull up a chair. She hated it when he did that. He just sat there and watched her, and she had no idea what he had in store for her, but it was always unpleasant, whatever it was.

As she lay there she slowly became aware of something over her mouth and she began to panic. He was trying to suffocate her. She moved her hands up towards her face and realised that she was no longer tied to the bed. She felt overcome with the terrors she had been trying to keep inside her, and despite all her misgivings, she opened her eyes.

Steve had been sitting alone with Rae for just over an hour when he realised that although she was still lying as if asleep she was in fact awake. He watched her intently and he could tell that she was searching through her mind. Her face reflecting her emotions and just as he was about to speak softly to her she began to open her eyes.

"Rae, Honey, it's Steve." He gently placed his clumsy hands on hers, and slowly moved them back down towards the bed. "It's a ventilator mask, you need to keep it on, it's helping you and your baby."

Rae could hear a voice talking kindly to her, she knew that it was a voice she should recognise and so slowly as she heard it mention her baby she turned towards the sounds.

Steve pressed his hand down on the buzzer by the bed; he knew it would work because he and Alex had practiced it before he had been left alone. He looked into the frightened face of his partner and began to speak again. "Rae, do you know who I am?" He saw her nod and so he carried on. "You're safe now. Levington has been arrested, and you're in Community General." Rae tried again to get to the mask off her face, but Steve wouldn't let her. "No, Rae, you need to keep it on, because your baby needs the oxygen it's giving you, ok, do you understand?"

This time Rae shook her head, just a little, and Steve took a deep breath. He wasn't really sure how to explain what it was that she didn't understand, and so he was extremely relieved when he saw Alex come into the room. "Look, here's Alex, I'll let him speak to you for a while, I'll be just outside the door." He went to move, but was surprised by Rae as she urgently placed her hand over his and shook her head, more vigorously this time. 

"Rae, it's ok, Steve can stay, I won't be long." Alex looked over at Steve, "Has Rae said anything?"

"No, but she listened to me, didn't you?" Steve didn't want to speak as if she wasn't there. He saw her nod and then he carried on. "I told her she needed the oxygen for her baby, but she didn't understand."

"Ok. Rae, it's Alex, do you remember me?" He waited and saw her nod. "You need to wear the mask because your baby isn't getting enough oxygen from you." This time Alex stopped because he saw two large tears appear in her eyes. "It's getting better all the time, but you must keep the mask on for a little longer. Will you let me listen and see what I can hear?" This time Rae nodded, but as she did so, the two tears ran down her face their downward journey diverted as they ran around the facemask and on towards her chin.

Alex gently pulled back the bed covers and then trying not to let all the physical signs of her nightmare affect him he lifted the gown that Rae was wearing. As he concentrated on his task he didn't see the look of silent terror that crossed Rae's face.

Steve saw Rae's knuckles go white as she grasped his arm tightly while Alex began his examination. He looked at her and he could see the pain and fear in her eyes. He shuffled his chair closer to her head and tenderly placed his hand on her hair.  It was only a minute or so before Alex made sure that Rae was comfortable once again and straightened back up. "It's better than it was, much better, the heartbeat is much stronger than when you came in. If you want to say anything, I guess we could let you remove the mask, just for a while."

Rae thought a little, but then she shook her head and they saw her mouth the word 'no' through the mask. She shut her eyes and then after a few seconds opened them again, and made a sleeping motion with her hands. 

"Ok, you go back off to sleep for a little longer, we can see about the mask when you wake up again. Steve will stay with you, but I need to speak to him first." Alex indicated with his hand and the two men moved over towards the window. "I don't know how she'll be when she's asleep, she may dream, she may not. I would imagine that now she knows where she is she would relax a little and that may bring the dreams on. But it's all speculation, I can't begin to imagine what she has gone through, so we'll just have to take it minute by minute… and soon she will begin to think about Jesse…" Alex knew he didn't need to say anything more.

"I'll be all right with her, Alex, we understand each other, and … well, we just understand each other." Steve couldn't put into words the way that he felt about Rae, and he decided that it was probably a good idea not to try right now. They moved back across the room, and they could see that the low tones of their voices had had a soporific effect on her and Rae was already drifting back off to sleep.

As he sat there Steve let his thoughts wander back. He could see Rae in his mind the first time he had met her, sitting in the Chief's office, so confident and self assured. He looked down at her now, and knew that even though she would obviously change some of the things that had happened to her, she would still be here, in the City of Angels, with Jo and him, all the other friends she had made and Jesse. He let out a deep sigh; it was too painful right now to think about Jesse. Rae moved slightly in the bed and a shadow of pain crossed her face. Steve placed one of his clumsy hands over hers and she relaxed once again. They did understand each other, he didn't think there was any situation that could break their bond, he sighed, life sure was complicated with her in it, but he wouldn't have it any other way.

After calling Steve, Cheryl had dispatched a black and white to go to the address Levington had provided them with to get the marriage certificate. She decided to wait until she had it in her hand before she continued the interrogation, because she just couldn't believe that what he had said could actually be true. As she sat there she heard the Captain call across the room to Martin and then she saw him go into his office.

Martin stood just inside the door, waiting until he was beckoned further in. 

"Come in, Detective, and shut the door after you." Martin did as he was told and then stood in front of the desk. "We have a problem, Detective, but first of all Internal Affairs will be coming in to see you next week. That isn't the problem. But this is. The man arrested with you, Larry Griffith, says that he knows that you were given $11,000 while you were working for him. He thinks you are in custody by the way. The problem is I have only seen $1,000 of it. Now Internal Affairs will take a very dim view of one officer shooting another deliberately, but taking $10,000 is gonna mean the end of your career, so I need to know right now, where the hell is the money!"

Martin's face had been getting more and more horror-struck the longer the Captain had spoken, and the louder his voice had got. "My God, I had forgotten all about it. I have $7,500 at home in the back of my bedroom closet, and $2,500 in my safety deposit box at Provident. With everything that happened with Rae it went clean out of my head. I'm sorry, Sir. Do you want me to go get the money from my house now? I'll have to wait until tomorrow to get the rest."

"Yeah, I suggest that you get over to your apartment and pick it up right now. But do not go alone; take a uniformed officer with you. That's all. Oh, Robertson bring it straight to me."

"Yes, Sir." Martin moved back out of the office and over to Cheryl's desk. He slumped against it, and sighed. "Oh, man I am dead."

"What? Why, what did the Captain say?"

"Words to the effect of 'you were given $11,000 while you were undercover, what happened to it?'"

"And, what did happen?" 

"I forgot all about it, that's what happened. I came straight back into the panic with Rae, and everything went out of my mind. I haven't had time to turn round since. But I will get eaten alive by IA if I don't get it sorted out, double quick."

"Yeah, I guess you will. So what do you have to do now?"

"Get the money that's at home, and tomorrow go get the money from the bank. Thank God it's not gonna be Sunday." Martin moved off towards the stairs, and Cheryl went back to the reports she had been going through while she waited for Mrs Levington to produce the information she needed. She didn't have to wait much longer.

"Ah, Detective Banks?" a young fresh faced officer stood before her. 

"Yeah, that's me."

"I have been to Mrs Levington, and I believe you need this." He handed over a plastic evidence bag with a marriage certificate in it.

"Thank you." Cheryl waited until the young man had left and then she looked in disbelief at the document in front of her. She stood up and headed towards the Captain's office. Once she was inside she began to talk. "I don't know what difference this makes, in fact I don't think it makes any difference to our case, but Levington is legally married to Rae."

"What! How the hell did he manage that? No priest would marry someone if they were unwilling, and nothing will convince me that she would be willing to marry that man."

"No, Sir, me either, but I know how the priest was persuaded." Cheryl paused. "The priest was his mother."

There was silence for a few moments while the Captain digested the news he had just been given. "Detective, I have nothing that I can say to you. It will be a very difficult interrogation but I know that you will not let your personal feelings get in the way of your professionalism."

"No, Sir. Thank you, Sir." 

Bernice Levington had watched the black and white police car as it had pulled away from her driveway. She had known that the Yeager woman wasn't good enough for her Phil. But he had been so sure, and so keen that she hadn't had the heart to disappoint him. Now though it was a different matter. Somehow that tramp had managed to convince the police that he had been hurting her, but she knew better, her son was a good boy, and had only done what was necessary to curb her wayward habits. But that woman, well she deserved everything that she would deliver on behalf of her son.

Bernice went back into her house and headed towards her back bedroom. She pulled open the closet and rummaged around in the things on the middle shelf. There were photos of two women there; they had been a mistake too, but she had dealt with them and she would do the same to Reagan Yeager, she had no doubt about that. It might be a little harder with the woman in the hospital, but life was full of challenges, and she had no intention of failing this one.

Cheryl went into the interrogation room, her mind going over the strategies she could use. Martin had returned with the money and he was right behind her. As they entered the room an extremely smartly dressed young woman stood and held her hand out to Cheryl.

"Detective Banks, my name is Murray, Theodora Murray, and I am representing Mr. Levington. I understand that you have already spoken to my client."

"Yes, Ma'am, but once we realised that he didn't have any legal representation here, we stopped the interrogation and waited for your arrival." Cheryl didn't really want to admit in front of Levington that his words had surprised and confused her.

"I see, well, my client informs me that he has no problems with what was discussed, so I will let it go this once."

_So why are you wasting my time with it then, you stupid woman? _"Very well, then, Ms. Murray, can we begin?"

Martin moved over and switched on the recording equipment, and the interrogation started. 

"Why did you take Detective Yeager from her apartment?"

"Because it was time for us to be together again." Levington smiled at her and Cheryl repressed a shudder. The man sounded perfectly logical and sane, even though she knew that he was exactly the opposite of what he portrayed.

"I see, and Doctor Travis, you attacked him and left him for dead, or do you deny that?"

"Yes, Ma'am, I do, he was in our way, so I just removed him, and Ms Yeager, as she was then, and I left."

"He was handcuffed, chained up, shot and hidden from view. Isn't that a little extreme for just being in the way?"

"Well, I knew how obsessed he was with my love, and I was worried that he might come after us and try to hurt her, so I had to make sure that he couldn't do that."

"I see," Cheryl changed tack; this man just didn't seem to see anything wrong with what he had done.  "And if Ms Yeager had decided that she didn't want to be with you, would you have let her leave?"

"Oh, no, Ma'am, now that she is my wife, she has no say in how she lives her life. Her chores kept her indoors all day, but she had no reason to wish to leave."

"Did you tie her to the bed before you left the house to attend Doctor Travis' funeral?"

"Of course. She wasn't allowed the run of the house when I wasn't present. It was the easiest way to ensure that she didn't do or touch anything she wasn't supposed to."

"Mr. Levington, do you know who Samuel Middleton is?" Cheryl decided it was time to switch to something else. The matter of fact way that he was describing Rae's imprisonment was making her find it extremely difficult to stop herself from re-arranging his face for him.

"Sammy, yes, I had a ride in his van. Very nice young man, very nice."

"He was found murdered, just outside of town. Do you know anything about that?"

"Oh, dear, what a shame, no, Ma'am I don't know anything about that."

"Then how do you explain the fact that his driver's licence was re-issued and the photo on it was of you?"

"I have no explanation for that, Ma'am, and I guess you can't ask him now can you?"

"No, I guess not. Mr. Levington, how did you escape from prison?" Martin decided to join in the questioning.

"I didn't escape, I just left, Sir. We were working outside and I knew that Reagan needed me so I came, found her and took her away to our life together."

"I see, well the man you 'left prison' with, was captured yesterday morning in New Mexico. He doesn't deny that he escaped, and he insists that it was your idea to do so."

"Well, I can't speak for him, and he really can't speak for me. But he is wrong. Don't you have days when you just know you have something to do that can't wait? Well that was how it was that day. I just had to get to Reagan, and nothing was gonna stand in my way. I knew we were destined to be together, and we were."

The interview continued for another hour and a half, before Cheryl realised that her brain had turned to mush, and she couldn't think straight any more. 

After Levington had been taken down to the cells Cheryl turned to Theodora Murray. "What made you take on such a loon?"

"I have rent to pay, Detective. I will suggest to my client that he plead guilty, but I will be very surprised if he agrees."

"And you are still prepared to represent him, even knowing everything that he has done? Murder, kidnapping, rape, grievous bodily harm. I guess it is just the money after all. Still at least I get to sleep nights." Cheryl knew that she should keep her anger in, but it had been repressed all day, and it felt real good to let some of it go.

"Yes, well, Detective, I have no trouble sleeping, and as I said I will suggest that he plead guilty. I am sorry about your colleague, and I hope she will be well enough to return to duty very soon." 

"Mm. Have a nice day, Councillor." Cheryl turned and walked away, knowing that if she stayed she would say something that would get her hauled across the carpet in the Captain's room, and she couldn't face that right now.

Rae had woken from her sleep just over five hours after she had drifted off. Steve had been extremely relieved that her dreams seemed to cause her no problems, he had in fact fallen asleep himself, and it was Rae who woke him. She lifted the mask off her face and practiced her breathing. She felt ok, so she pressed the buzzer and then gently she shook the sleeping figure next to her. "Steve. Steve, wake up."

"What? Rae? Oh, honey I am so sorry, put the mask back on, and I'll call Alex."

Rae smiled a small smile. "I already did." She replaced the mask and took a steady look at her partner. He looked haunted, he hadn't shaved for a couple of days, his hair was everywhere, and he seemed so tired and upset. She was about to lift the mask to ask him what was wrong when she suddenly remembered herself, and her eyes filled with tears which immediately escaped and ran down her cheeks.

Steve was caught by surprise by the change in Rae's emotions. "Rae? Sweetie, don't cry like that, everything will be all right, I promise." 

"Rae, what's the matter?" Alex came into the room and seeing her crying almost uncontrollably behind the mask moved quickly over to her. He checked her pulse and listened to her breathing and satisfied that she could cope without it, he gently removed the mask. "Shhh, come on, or you will make yourself worse, it's all right." Alex looked over at Steve; he knew that he would be able to calm her more quickly than he could at the moment. 

Steve understood the look given to him by the young doctor and he held his arms out to Rae. She flung herself into them and sobbed on his shoulder. "Hey, come on, tell me about it, and I will try to help you. But until you do I can't do anything." Rae shook her head, she couldn't speak, or stop the tears, and in the end Steve realised that he would have to let her cry herself out. He kept his arms around her and just held her until eventually she began to gather herself together. When she raised her face to look at him he felt his heart constrict. She looked so distraught and so helpless that he didn't want to ever let go of her.

"Steve, he killed Jesse, how am I ever going to live without him? He killed Jesse and he made me marry him." The tears began to start again, but Steve shook his head.

"No, Honey, don't cry any more. We need to talk, but first of all, if Alex will let you, you need to come for a little trip with me, ok?" Steve looked over at Alex and was relieved to see him nod. "Can you get out of bed alright? Alex will get a chair and then he can push you to where we have to go. It isn't far."

Rae managed to get herself under control a little quicker this time, and then she got shakily out of bed. She wasn't feeling ill or dizzy, but she did feel completely empty. She knew she had her baby to think of, but right now her life had no meaning. She was only going with Steve, because she didn't have the energy to argue with him.

Alex pushed the wheelchair along the hallway, and just a couple of minutes later they drew up outside a private room. Steve crouched down in front of Rae and began to talk. But he could see that she wasn't taking in what he was saying so in the end he stood up and waited while Alex opened the door and then they wheeled her in. 

Jo was already sitting in the room, and she stood up as she saw her friend enter. She was so relieved to see her awake and moving around, but as she went to speak what she saw filled her with dread for her friend once again. 

Rae looked over at the bed in the middle of the room, and her head began to spin. She knew without a doubt that she was going to pass out and she tried to say something but no sound would come. The world began to go round and round and she tried to stand to move closer to the bed but all she managed to do was to fall into the outstretched arms of an extremely anxious looking Alex.

When Rae came round she found herself lying in a bed once again. She struggled to get up, but felt strong hands on her shoulders. "No, Rae, lie here, I am so sorry, Honey, I didn't mean for that to happen." It was Steve who was talking to her, and she knew that she shouldn't move but she just had to. She had to get back to that room.

"Steve, let me go, please, I have to go back."

"Rae!" Steve was almost shouting now in an attempt to get her to listen to him. "You are still there, we just had your bed moved up here, as the wheelchair didn't seem to suit. If you sit up, slowly, everything will be fine."

Gradually Rae did as she was told, and as she leant back against the pillows she looked over towards the bed she had seen before. Her hand went up to her mouth, and then she was out of the bed in one movement and rushing over to the other side of the room. She couldn't speak, and once again tears were rushing down her face. She sank gratefully into the chair next to the bed, and her eyes never left the face of the person lying in front of her. 

She gently traced a finger down the face of the man that she loved more than any other and her voice came out in a whisper. "Jess, oh, Jesse. He's alive, Steve, he's alive." 

Then she lowered her head onto the bed and once again the tears began to flow, but this time they were tears of pure happiness, she knew that he was very ill, but he was here, and that was all that mattered to her right now.


	19. Chapter 19 Like Mother Like Son

Like Mother, Like Son 

Rae wasn't sure how long she had been by Jesse's side before she began to take in all the machinery around him. Slowly she looked at the face of the man she really wanted to be married to, and saw that it was as bruised and battered as she imagined her own was. But more than that he was, she knew, on a life support machine. Rae turned and looked at Alex. "Tell me, Alex, tell me what's wrong with him."

Jo appeared by her side then, and Rae just stared at her. "Texas? Oh, God, I can't take all this in." She put her head back down on the bed. It seemed to her just minutes since she had been completely alone and tied down, and now she was free with all her friends, or almost all of them, around her.

Jo crouched down beside her. "Honey, I have been here with Jesse on an' off since we found him, so has everybody else, we never left him alone for a moment." _Well, not since he was put on this machine anyway._ "I bought these for you from the hospital shop, would you like to slip them on in a while?" She handed Rae a pair of pale blue pyjamas and Rae nodded. 

"But, but the paper said he was… he was dead. Levington couldn't have made that up, could he?" Rae looked confused and her eyes swept over the three other people in the room.

"No, Rae, he didn't make it up, we did." It was Steve who spoke and he saw something else, another emotion as it crossed her face, and then her eyes flashed with fury, and he thought she was about to explode, but the anger disappeared again, as quickly as it had arrived.

"Why? Why did you do that? It just gave him the chance to humiliate and punish me more, and if it hadn't been for my baby…" her eyes travelled back over to Jesse, "our baby, I would have given in there and then. Steve, how could you do that to me?" Rae's voice was raised for a moment and she tried to move away from them all but she felt Alex place his hands on her shoulders.

"Stop it, Rae. Sit down and listen, and we will explain to you. Do you think that we didn't consider you and your feelings before we put that announcement in the paper? Of course we did. You were the reason it was there. Nothing else mattered but to find you, and we had no idea where you were."

Alex saw Rae's emotions change once again, and he knew, without a doubt that she was going to have big problems, sooner rather than later, as she let her body just crumple against her doctor. "Come on, sit back down, and let Steve explain to you. Ok?"

"I'm sorry, Steve, I'm sorry." Rae sat as she had been told. She took a deep breath. "I will listen, and I will try not to interrupt." She smiled as she saw Texas pull a chair over next to her.

"God, girl I have missed you." Jo placed her hand over Rae's and prepared to listen as well, as her boyfriend explained the horrors they had all endured.

"We had no idea that you were in any kind of trouble until the Monday morning. Dad saw the announcement of your engagement in an old edition of the paper while he was eating his breakfast here. He called us and we decided to come over and help you celebrate." Steve paused for a moment as he remembered that it was the last time any of them had felt anything other than helpless, and he knew it would be a long time before they would all feel that happy again.

Jo took over for a little while as she saw Steve become lost in the early emotions of the case. "We had balloons an' cake. We knocked on your door, but nobody answered. We were gonna go when Steve remembered that Mark still had a key." Jo leant over, hoping to make her friend smile just a little. "CJ an' Dion had decorated Steve's casts. He can show you them later, an' he had a smiley balloon tied to one of his fingers!" She felt her mood lighten just a little as she got the smile she had hoped for. "We let ourselves in an' we were decoratin' the room when Steve thought he heard a noise."

"I still don't know what it was I heard, or even if I did hear anything, but I just knew we weren't alone. I moved into the bedroom." He paused again. If he shut his eyes he could still see Jesse tied up and half dead behind the bed. "I saw Jesse…" He too moved closer, crouched down and placed one of his large hands over Rae's "Honey, do you know what he did to Jesse?"

Rae nodded, and began to tell part of her story. "I woke up and Levington was in my apartment. Right there next to my bed. We had nearly left the building when Jesse came round the corner, I called out for him to run away, but he didn't. He… he stayed with me, just like he promised he would. Then, Levington took us back to my place… yeah, I knew what he did to him." Her eyes travelled back to the completely still figure on the bed just out of her reach. It seemed to her that he had been out of her reach almost forever.

"I couldn't get to him, there isn't much room between the edge of your bed and the wall, and Dad wouldn't let us move anything until the paramedics got there. I don't know if he was conscious when we arrived, but Jo lay across the bed and talked to him until the ambulance came. He was unconscious when he was finally moved to a gurney, but he came round and he told us that Levington had you, and that you were pregnant, then he passed out again." He looked across at Alex, and waited. Slowly the young doctor began his part of the tale.

"Rae," he said just the one word so that she knew who was speaking. "Jesse crashed in the ambulance, and again almost as soon as he arrived here. It took a long time to get him back." This time it was he who paused as he remembered trying to get Mark to stop resuscitating Jesse. He had been wrong; it was a lesson well learnt, he wouldn't make that mistake again. "Mark got him stabilized and down to the OR. He had a bullet lodged in his back, in-between his shoulder blade and his spine." 

"Oh, my, God. Alex, what does that mean? Is he paralysed?"

"We don't know yet. The bullet is still there. Everywhere was so swollen by the time we got him to the OR that the decision was made to leave it where it was. Once he is a little better then we will operate and remove it. He is on broad spectrum anti-biotics so that there won't be any chance of infection, but he has more problems than that."

"When did you say you found him?" Rae's mind had started to backtrack. 

"Monday morning. He was very weak, he had suffered major blood loss, and had to have a transfusion, he was dehydrated, which is what the IV's are for, and he was suffering from shock." Alex waited to see if Rae had anything more to say.

"Saturday, Levington took me Saturday morning, he was there for forty-eight hours before anyone found him. Oh, God, why did we say we wanted a weekend to ourselves?"

"Honey, did you tell Jesse about the baby while you were together on the Thursday an' Friday?" Jo watched as her friend nodded. "Then I can understand you wantin' to spend the weekend alone, that is special news, an' what with Jesse proposin' an' all. Most people would have done that. You have nothin' to be remonstratin' with yourself for."

Rae looked at her three friends. She could tell from their expressions that they still had things to say, and she got a feeling that the worst was still to come.  "There is more to this isn't there?"

"Jesse wasn't on life support when he first came in. Even though he was very ill, once he had been resuscitated he was breathing on his own, then after he came round he was lucid and it appeared that the bullet hadn't caused any paralysis." Alex stopped. He didn't want to be the one to tell her the next part. 

"But, now, now he could die, couldn't he?" 

Alex nodded and looked over at Steve. He hadn't been a major part of what had happened next, and Alex knew that Steve would tell it better than he could.

Steve took a deep breath. He didn't want to speak, but he knew that of the three of them he alone knew what had really happened. He hadn't been there for all of it, but the results of what had occurred had reverberated around the squad room and he had been given an accurate account of everything.

"Once Dad had gotten Jesse stabilised he came round real quick. They x-rayed his shoulder and that was when the decision was made to leave things as they were. Jesse was conscious the whole time, and they discussed it all with him. He was a bit out of it, but his medical training kicked in, he knew what was happening. He was real worried about you and the baby, we all were, and when I had to go back to the station I promised him I would let him know what was happening."

"And then? Steve, for God's sake he is on a life support machine, if I press that switch over there he will die. What happened to change everything so dramatically?" Rae was far more alert now. She was terrified for Jesse, but for the first time in days she wasn't scared for her own safety.

"Jesse was put in this room, and Dad told him not to move. He was gonna put a neck brace on for him and then they were going to give him some drugs which would induce paralysis so that he couldn't damage himself. Dad didn't want to move him until the treatment had been completed; so he was settled in here first and then the treatment was gonna start. But the neck brace wasn't with everything else so Dad went down to the stores to get one." Steve paused then. In other circumstances the sequence of events would have been annoying or just mildly annoying, but instead it had become life threatening.

"Dad got down to the ER just in time for a major RTA to arrive. He was handed a patient and it was forty minutes before he was able to leave and get the brace. He hadn't been worried about Jesse, because he knew that he wouldn't move. Anybody else and he would have been extremely concerned, but Jesse is a doctor… and that was the problem in the end."

"Steve, I swear I will shake it out of you in a minute. What happened?" 

Jo put her hand back on Rae's "Honey this is very difficult for everybody. We all feel responsible for what happened next. Let him tell it in his own time, ok?"

"Steve, I'm sorry. I'll wait." Rae looked at her partner and for the first time she saw how physically exhausted he was. It had registered earlier that he was unshaven and…  haunted, she had thought of him as haunted, but now, she could see that he was on the verge of breaking down himself. She stood up and moved closer to him and slowly and carefully, because most of her hurt or ached, she made him sit on the end of the bed, and then she knelt in front of him. "Steve, look at me." She was relieved that he did so straight away. "I don't know what happened yet, and I will wait, but I do know that none of you would hurt Jesse purposely." Steve put his arm round her and for a minute or two they just hugged each other. 

Jo and Alex watched, as the two detectives seemed to draw strength from each other. Jo hadn't talked to her friend about the kiss Rae and Steve had shared, and she knew now that she never would. She could see for herself just how close they were, and how special their relationship was, but she could also see that she had no need to worry about losing her man to her best friend, it just wouldn't happen.

"Rae, I have to tell you this, I can't keep it in any more, bring your seat over here, and then I'll continue."

Rae did as she was told, and they could all see just how much it hurt her to pick up the chair and move it across the room Alex rushed over and took it from her. "Thank you, Alex, I'm just a bit sore." She sat gratefully down, and then placing her hand over Steve's larger one she prepared to listen to how Jesse ended up the way he was.

"There were two police officers stationed outside Jesse's room, and when I went I left the door open. Well, these two men began to talk, I don't know if they knew that Jesse could hear them, or whether it even occurred to them to check, but they started to voice their opinions on whether or not you would be found. I only have their account of what they said. I think it's true, and as they had the Chief and the Captain staring them down as they recounted their version I guess it's as close as we will get. First of all they began to talk about how things seemed to happen to you, how ever since you had arrived here you had been nothing but a liability." Steve looked at her.

"Go on." Rae's voice was tight; she didn't think she could say anything else.

"They talked about how screwed up you had been the last time Levington had been on the loose. I don't know how they knew, station gossip I guess, and then they got on to what had happened this time. One of them is a friend of Martin's and he was saying that you would have been much better off with him, that at least Martin would have been able to protect you, and not keep ending up in his own hospital." Steve stopped again, he knew she wanted to hear everything but he wasn't sure if he could tell her.

"Go on." Rae still had no idea what else to say. She looked straight at Steve and he knew he had no choice but to continue.

"Then they started talking about the impossible task of finding you. How nobody had any idea where you were, whether you were even alive, and now that you were pregnant, well, they both decided that you were already dead, and if you weren't, once you began to show you would be turning up as a Jane Doe, no doubt about it."

"How did they know I was pregnant?"

"Mark talked to Jesse about it when they were bringin' him up to the room. I guess he was tryin' to cheer him up, give him somethin' positive to think about. The two cops were with him by then." 

Rae looked over at Jo. "Oh. He was so pleased you know, that he was gonna be a dad." Rae brushed at a tear. She would not cry, not yet.

"Well, Jesse was very fragile, you know that, he was suffering mentally and physically from what had been done to him and you. We don't know exactly what happened, but this is what seems the most likely. He got out of bed, and picked up a canister of painkillers from the medicine tray that was waiting ready for Dad to treat him. There were plenty of different drugs on there, but he knew what he was looking for, and then he got a glass of water from the sink, and he took them, all of them. By the time Dad got back he was unconscious on the bed, the canister beside him. He wasn't breathing, Rae, and Dad had to revive him. We have no idea how long he was without oxygen. He could have some brain damage."

Alex began to speak again. "He should really be in ICU, but it was too risky to move him, so everything was brought to him, and he has been like that ever since."

The tears began to flow now, and Rae could do nothing to stop them. She had believed him to be dead, and hadn't been allowed to grieve, and now he was alive, but that was almost worse. He had tried to kill himself; because he couldn't cope with the fact that she was lost, she couldn't believe that someone so positive and alive as her Jesse could do that. And she had to accept the fact that he may yet die or wake up different to how he had been before.

"Rae, " This time it was Alex who spoke. "We pumped his stomach, and got him onto life support straight away. We are pretty sure that he will recover, but when he got out of bed and took the pills, the bullet moved. Mark had him x-rayed once he realised that he had been up and about, and it is closer to his spine now than it was before. I'm sorry, Rae."

"I know." Rae wiped her hand across her eyes. "This is the fault of those two officers, nobody else, well apart from Levington, but I don't even want to think his name anymore." She lowered her voice then and they had to strain to catch it. "Even if legally it is my name too." She shook herself. "What has happened to them?"

"Well, as soon as Dad realised what was going on and he had treated Jesse, his mind started to work. He knew that there had to be a reason why Jesse would attempt suicide, and he also knew that nobody had been in to see him, so he began to question the two officers."

"And what did Bill and Ben have to say for themselves?"

"Sorry, Rae, who?"

"I don't know their names, but I have to call them something, to give them a form I can hate. Bill and Ben were two characters on children's TV when I was small. They were made from flowerpots and they talked gibberish. It's a shame these two hadn't been doing the same."

Steve looked at her for a moment. She never ceased to amaze him. She wasn't any less concerned or angry about what had happened than he was, but she dealt with it in a completely different way. 

"They told the Chief and the Captain what they had said. They hadn't even realised that Jesse had been conscious and was now unconscious until Dad came back. Rae, I am so sorry that this has happened."

"But why did you tell the papers he was dead? I can understand why he wanted to kill himself, when I read that headline I felt the same."

"Bill and Ben were right." He couldn't help but smile to himself; it did help to give them a name. "We had absolutely no idea where you were, he had two days start on us at least. Jesse didn't know what day it was; or how long you had been gone. When we nearly lost Jesse, and it was very close, Rae, if Dad had been away any longer he would have been gone when he got back… anyway when we nearly lost him, it gave Dad the idea of how we could flush Levington out. He knew that he just wouldn't be able to resist seeing Jesse laid to rest. But letting him know had to be done realistically, and not knowing where he was we had to put it in the paper. We got onto Shelby at the Comet and she helped us out, and, well, you know what happened after that."

"Yeah I do." Rae ran her hands through her hair, "I'm sorry, guys, but this is too much to take in." She felt herself begin to fight her emotions, and she began to lose perspective on where she was. 

"Rae, Rae, look at me." It was Alex who was speaking to her.

"I'm ok, Alex, I just don't know which way is up right now."

"Come on, I want you back in bed, no arguments." He gently helped her to her feet and guided her round and into bed. As she lay down she saw him get his stethoscope out and begin to listen to her breathing.

"Alex, check the baby, please."

"I will, don't worry, every time I check you I'll be checking him or her too." Soon he stood up straight again. "It's ok, I think you're about eight weeks pregnant. But I'll do another scan tomorrow to make sure. I'll keep a very close eye on you and your baby. It hasn't had an ideal first two months but we can make up for that in the last seven, can't we?" He looked at her and saw that she was only half listening to him. "Rae, are you ok?"

"I think I need to just lie here and try and digest everything that you have told me. Do you mind?"

"Of course not, Honey, but I'll stay with you. I've been sittin' with Jesse so I guess I can cope with the two, sorry, the three of you." Jo smiled at her friend and moved closer to her. She saw Rae hold her arms out to her and then they were hugging, and Jo let some of the tears she had been holding back fall. "Oh, Rae, I have been so worried for you."

"I know, I knew everybody would be looking for me, but sometimes that just didn't register, and other times I just felt that nobody would ever find me no matter how hard they looked... Texas, can you let me talk to Alex, just for a moment?" Rae stopped talking and waited. Steve and Jo took the hint and they both quietly left the room.

"What is it Rae?"

"Alex, he… he raped me when I was there… I don't know how many times, but I was awake when… when he did it to me… at least twice… will that harm the baby?"

Alex looked at her, he could see that she was trying so hard to keep her tears inside her and his heart went out to her. "No, Honey, your baby would have been protected in the womb. Unless he was very violent with you, which I know he wasn't, it should be something that only you have to get over, not your baby. But I'll have to run some tests on you. Serious tests, but they can wait a little while."

"How do you know that it wasn't violent? It felt violent to me." Rae couldn't even think about other tests right now, she would have to try to remember to ask about them later.

"When you arrived here I examined you, thoroughly. Rae, physically you will be ok, you will recover. Maybe violent was the wrong word to use, I know he was violent towards you, but he didn't hurt you badly enough for it to damage your baby." 

"Thank you, Alex, I don't think you've ever called me honey before." She smiled at him as she saw him blush.

"I'm sorry, it just came out."

"Alex, don't worry, you're my friend as well as my doctor, I can do with all the kind words I can get at the moment." A yawn escaped her then and she rubbed her eyes. "I have so many other things I have to talk about, but I am so tired right now that I can't concentrate on them, can you ask Texas to come stay with me, Alex, just till I fall asleep? Then she can move back over to Jesse's side of the room, he needs her more than I do."

Alex wasn't so sure about that, but he wasn't going to argue. "I'll go and get her."

Steve and Jo had moved slightly away from the officer on duty as they left the room and Steve had sat down and placed his head in his hands.

"Steve? Honey, you need to get some rest. You aren't recovered yourself yet."

"I'll be all right. But I'm not so sure about Rae. How is she going to cope with all this? She was too calm while we were talking to her, but there were all sorts of emotions just under the surface, and if she loses control what is it gonna do to the baby?"

"I can't answer your questions, an' I know you can't either. We are just going to have to hang in there an' be there for her whenever she wants us. They are both gonna need everything we can give them to get over this." Jo stopped talking and looked up as Alex came out of the room.

"Jo, can you go and sit with her again? She'll be asleep in a few minutes, but she said that Jesse needs you too."

"Of course. Steve, darlin', I would suggest that you call your dad an' then together you can go an' get some of that food you love so much.  Then we can swap places an' I can try it as well." With that she kissed him gently on the cheek and moved back into the room that housed both Rae and Jesse.

Rae was sitting up with her eyes staring at her fiancée. "Texas, do you think he will ever wake up? This baby needs a daddy, and I want him back, I can't imagine my life without him, to never see him smile at me again, or not to hear his voice …" Her eyes began to fill with tears and Jo moved quickly over to her.

"Ok, now, you need to shut your eyes, an' let your body take over. You an' your little one need to rest, an' I am gonna make sure that you do just that."

"Yes, mom. Texas, thank you … for staying with him …" Rae's voice was already getting slower, and her eyes began to close. Jo sighed; she didn't want to have to go through a morning…_Lord, is it still the mornin?'…_ like this one ever again, not for anything or anybody. She leant her head back in the seat she was in and closed her own eyes. She could tell that Rae had things she wanted to tell her, and she would listen, but she knew that her friend needed to be a little stronger before she began her story.

Bernice Levington had been thinking all morning about how she was going to get to that little tramp in the hospital. She had checked the morning paper and there had been an announcement about her discovery, and a statement saying that she was in no danger, and that another report would be released in a day or two. She knew that was no good for her, and so she had been planning ever since.

She had phoned Marlene's son Chucky and he was coming over any time now. She didn't drive herself, that was a man's job, and so he would take her to the hospital. She had what she needed to finish off a chore she should have dealt with before her beloved son had gone to jail the first time, and she knew that this time she would not fail.

Rae had woken up feeling very weak and ill about an hour after she had gone to sleep, and she had found Texas fast asleep next to her. She smiled; she guessed that not many of her friends had got much sleep over the last few days. She knew why she felt sick, and so she had quietly got out of bed and, leaving a note on the bed she had opened the door to her room. There was a policewoman just outside and she had nearly given her a heart attack when she had tapped her on the shoulder.

"Shhh, I don't want to wake Texas. Do you know if Lieutenant Sloan is still in the hospital?"

"Yes, Ma'am, I believe he's in the cafeteria." The policewoman smiled, she had eaten there earlier, and she now definitely didn't believe the rumours that the detective liked the food.

"Good, because that's where I would like to be too. I haven't had anything to eat since breakfast time yesterday. Could you ask him to come and get me, I know he won't let me go down on my own."

"Yes, straight away." The officer put a call through on her radio, and Rae sat on a chair in the hallway, impatiently waiting for him to come to her.

Steve walked down the hallway towards his partner; he could see her talking to the uniformed policewoman who had been assigned to guard her. This time he knew that there would be no problems, Officer Neville was a God fearing, highly ambitious woman, and Steve was sure that she would regard this as a high profile assignment.

Rae stood up as Steve came down the corridor. "Rae, you should be in bed. I've had a word with the chef and she will send you up a meal in about ten minutes."

Rae went to protest but she looked at her partner's face first, and she recognised the look. There was no way he was going to let her out of her room, so she got up and turned and went back towards her bed. Jo began to stir as she heard the door open.

"Rae, what are you doing gettin' out of bed?"

"I wanted to get something to eat. But Steve won't let me leave the room, so I am going to eat here." Rae looked over at him as he stood in the doorway, she had a question to ask him, but she had a sinking feeling that she knew the answer already. "What did you order for me?"

Steve smiled. It had been an easy decision; they'd had two of his favourites on today. "Macaroni and cheese."

Rae got back into her bed and tried to ignore the fact that even the mention of her lunch made her stomach roll. "Oh, thank you." Her words came out weakly, and Steve looked at her with concern.

"Rae, are you all right?"

"Yeah, but I don't think the baby likes macaroni cheese." 

At that moment the door opened and a trolley was rolled in. There were two plates on the top shelf, and as Rae made herself comfortable to eat her lunch the unmistakable smell wafted her way.

Steve looked over at the lady from the cafeteria. "Thanks, can you give one serving to Detective Yeager, and the other to Miss Walters please." She gave one plate to Rae, and then she pushed the bed tray across her and watched as she put the plate down in front of her.

"And you are going to sit and watch me eat every mouthful aren't you?"

"Oh, yeah, and I have another plateful for Jo." Steve smiled as the second plate was handed over.  "Thank you." The woman pushed the tray out of the room and then Steve sat in the chair next to Jesse's bed and watched them.

"Ok, if you eat it I will." Rae smiled, for some reason the whole lunch thing had made her want to laugh. "You know I haven't eaten this stuff since I was a child, and I can't say I had planned to try it again until I was in my dotage."

Jo looked at her friend, and smiled as she repeated something she had said earlier. "God, girl I've missed you."

Rae's eyes misted over as she saw her best friend and her partner, and Jesse lying so still behind Steve. She knew whatever happened next that she and Jesse would have support from those they loved the most, and in the end that was all that mattered.

When Rae had finished her lunch she looked over at Steve. "Where are Mark and Amanda? Are they here in the hospital?"

"They are, but Amanda has the results of a drive by shooting at a shopping mall to deal with, and Dad, well he feels so bad about Jesse, that he didn't want to come until you asked to see him."

"No, Steve, he mustn't feel that way. If I ask you, then will he come and see me?"

"Yeah, I'm sure he will, do you want Jo to call him?" 

Jo saw Rae nod and so she went over to the phone on the wall and punched in the number for the switchboard. "Doctor Sloan, please…" Steve and Rae watched as Jo listened carefully "Ok, could you have him paged to room 2998" Jo turned to speak to them. "He isn't answerin' so I am gonna have him paged…  Oh, I see, well if you could leave a message for him, in fact if someone could get the message to him in there I am sure he will feel much better… Ok, just tell him that Rae would like to see him when he is free… I will, thank you." Jo turned back then and smiled. He is in the OR at the moment, but he will be back soon."

"Steve, can I sit with Jesse for a while? I feel ok, very achy and bruised, but that is all. Please."

"Honey, of course you can. Do you want Jo and me to leave, we can come back in a little while?"

"Yes, please, if you wouldn't mind. Officer Neville is outside the door, and I promise I won't leave the room." Rae smiled and watched the couple as they left, then she slowly climbed out of bed, carefully pulled on the pyjamas that Texas had bought for her, and moved across to Jesse's bedside. Every step hurt her a lot more than she would admit to anyone, but she had to be with Jesse.  She sat there for a long while, not knowing what to say. Then she reached out and took his hand in hers.

"Jess, it's me, Rae. Steve found me and Levington is in jail again. It's over, really over this time. He won't ever get free, not after all this. But Jesse, I need you to come back to me, our baby needs you. Please, Honey, open your eyes, even if it is just for a second. Please."

Rae watched his face intently, but there was no movement, no recognition of any kind that she was sitting there. Her eyes scanned the machines next to the bed. She had no idea what they all meant, but she knew that they were bad news. She guessed that she would have to wait for all the toxins from the tablets to leave Jesse's system before he woke up, but she had no idea how long that would take. Gradually sleep took her over again, and her head rested softly on the bed beside Jesse's prone form, soon there was no sound in the room except the gentle hisses and clicks from the ventilator that kept Jesse alive, and the soft breathing of Rae as she slept next to him.

Jo and Steve sat in the doctor's lounge for just over an hour quietly enjoying each other's company. They were very worried about both Jesse and Rae, but at least they were both still alive, and more to the point now all their friends knew where they were. They felt cheered by that, and as they sat they talked softly about the future.

"I never did ask you how you got on with your x-ray the other day." Jo looked guiltily at Steve as she spoke.

"Oh, sorry, didn't I tell you? Alex said that they have begun to heal, but that I will have to keep the casts on for a good while, and that I will have to have extensive physiotherapy on them before I can go back to work. It looks like Rae, Jesse and I will all be on sick leave for a long time yet."

"Oh, I think I can cope with that. Especially if I get to help you with your exercises. I can think of all sorts of things to suggest you do with your newly freed fingers!" Jo winked at him as she spoke.

The door opened then and Mark came in. He looked tired but not as despondent as he had. "I got your message, Jo, does she really want to see me? I knew she was conscious, and I have to admit I did come up and sit outside the door for a little while, just so I could hear how she was."

It was Steve who answered, and he was glad that he had been right. "Dad, I told you she wouldn't blame you for anything, and she doesn't. She wants to see you as soon as she can. She needs her friends there for her right now, and you are one of her closest."

"Thank you, Son. I guess she could wait a little while longer just so I can have a shower and get cleaned up?"

"Yeah, I will just finish my coffee and then I'll go up and tell her. Jo, sweetie, you have been sitting with either Jesse or Rae for hours, why don't you go home, and get some rest in a proper bed?"

"I might just take you up on that. I will sleep for a few hours an' then I'll get Michael to drive me back. Thank you, Steve, I'll see you later." She kissed him with a tender passion on his lips and Steve felt her fingers run through his hair. There had been hardly any physical contact between them over the past few days, and she felt him begin to respond to her. "Mm, keep that up an' you'll have to come with me."

Jo kissed Mark on the cheek and then she left the room, Steve stood in the doorway and watched her go. He saw people passing in the hallway, and for the first time in days he actually took in what was going on. There was a female priest at the ER reception and as he looked the other way down the hall he could see a cleaner beginning to mop a floor. Life was going on, and at last he was back in it.

Bernice Levington had found out what room Detective Yeager was in. Detective, not a job for the wife of a son of hers. Most unsuitable for any woman, but it explained a lot about how unable she had been to adhere to her Phil's rules of the house. She walked into the elevator and patted her cassocks, feeling the hard steel of her weapon beneath them.

She walked along the corridor and saw a uniformed officer outside the door of the room she needed to enter. Drawing herself up to her full height she approached the policewoman.

"Excuse me, my child, but I have been asked to come and sit with a patient in this room." She showed the woman the card she had obtained at the reception desk, pleading a weakened memory as the reason she needed to have the number written on an official tag.

"Of course, I'll just call down and get you cleared, then you can stay as long…" Officer Neville didn't get the rest of her sentence out before she was struck across the back of the head with a gun butt. 

Bernice Levington pulled the officer into the room across the hallway, which was very conveniently empty. Then she returned to room 2998. She slowly opened the door and looked inside. She could see that woman, asleep with her hand in that of another man. Disgraceful. She moved over to her and jabbed the gun into her neck.

Rae awoke with a start as she suddenly felt something against her throat. She turned in a panic and looked into the eyes of Bernice Levington. "You, what are you doing here?"

"Get up and move over there." She indicated with the gun and Rae willingly moved away from Jesse, she didn't want anything more to happen to him.

Steve sat back down on the sofa with his drink, but his mind was whirring. Something was wrong, suddenly he thought about the woman priest. He had no idea why but he knew that he should be very worried about the priest. _Levington's mother is a priest._ He was up and out of the room in a flash. He raced to the elevator, but seeing that there were already people waiting for it he bashed through the door to the stairwell and ran up that way instead.

Rae couldn't believe that her nightmare wasn't over. "Why are you doing this? You have done nothing wrong, it's your son who's the fruitcake."

Phillip's mama spoke as if Rae had uttered nothing. "I should have gotten rid of you when he first laid eyes on you. I knew a female police officer was trouble; you should be content to work in the home, to look after a man, not go out into the world. Well now you and him," She indicated with her gun and Rae's heart almost stopped as she thought the gun would go off. "You will join the other tramps he has set his heart on. He has only one woman in his life, and soon he will realise that it is his mama." 

Rae moved slowly away from the woman, trying to get towards the door, so that she could get outside. She knew that the cop must be gone from there, but if she could get as far away from Jesse as possible, then it wouldn't matter so much what happened to her. 

Steve came hurtling out into Rae's hallway, and could see straightaway that the officer was gone from Rae's room. He slowed to a walk and, cursing his inability to carry a weapon, moved towards the door to 2998. He could see through the glass that the priest had a gun pointed at Rae and he knew as he got to the doorway that she was about to fire. He pushed the door open, knowing what would happen to Rae as he did so. The handle caught her in the back and she staggered out of the line of fire, just as the gun went off. Steve felt a burning pain in his shoulder, but he carried on, his adrenalin alone carrying him forwards. He crashed into the priest, and collapsed over her. Hearing Rae scream his name as he did so.


	20. Chapter 20 Moving Towards The Light

Sorry about the delay in posting this chapter, but real life got in the way, I had a conference to attend, but now I am back. I hope you enjoy.

Moving Towards the Light 

Alex finished dressing the wounds on a little boy that he had got quite friendly with. "There you go, Carl, now, if you wear the knee and elbow pads that I know your mom bought with the skateboard I shouldn't see you so often, but maybe you should give it up until we get that cast off your wrist?"

"Don't you like to see me, Doctor Martin?" Carl looked up at Alex; the tracks of his tears still visible down his face.

"Honey, I'm sure that Doctor Martin has plenty of proper patients to go see, not seven year olds who keep skinning their knees, and worse." Carl's mum, who was holding a helmet in her hands looked fondly at her little boy.

"You can come visit me anytime, but I would rather see you uninjured, ok?" Alex looked over at Carl's mom. "There is nothing broken, this time. But I really would keep him off that thing until he's healed." Alex pointed at the brightly coloured skateboard, which was resting against the leg of the gurney. "I guess you know that too now don't you?"

"Yes, Sir." The boy got cautiously down from the gurney and grabbed his mom's hand. 

"Thank you, Doctor, I hope it is more than three days before we are back here again." 

With that the two of them left the trauma suite, and Alex followed them out, a smile on his face. He checked his watch, it was a while since he had seen Rae, and as the ER was quiet he decided to go and pay her a visit. He was very worried about how she was going to cope with all that had happened to her and Jesse. He had spoken to Brian Dobson and arranged for him to come and see her in the morning, but now he just wanted to see if she had gotten any sleep.

His thoughts took him into the elevator, and he processed some ideas as he was lifted to Rae's floor. As the doors opened he was shaken from his feelings by the sound of a gun being fired. As he rushed past the nurse's station he barked out instructions, "Get security up here STAT, room 2998." He knew with absolute certainty that the gunshot had come from Rae and Jesse's room, his heart was beating almost out of his body as he hurried down the hallway, coming to a halt as he took in the scene before him. Jesse was still lying just as he had left him, Rae's bed was empty, and directly in front of him he could see a woman in priests robes with Steve sprawled over her. This passed by him in a split second, but what stayed with him was the bloodstain spreading across the back of Steve's shirt, and the fact that he couldn't see Rae.

As he took one step into the room the door was pushed hard into him and the handle caught him knocking the air out of his lungs. Alex fell to the floor, completely disoriented. 

Mark was just buttoning up his shirt after his shower when he heard security being called to where Jesse and Rae were. Rushing from the men's locker room he headed straight for the elevator.

There were two security guards and a very shaken policewoman heading towards the room as Mark arrived on the scene. Another man put a hand on Mark's shoulder as he tried to move further down the hallway. "I'm sorry, Sir, this hallway is off limits right now."

"I have a patient in that room, as well as a very good friend. I am going, you may come with me, or you can stay here and watch." Mark shrugged the hand off him and carried on walking. As he got closer he could see somebody gradually getting to his feet.

"Alex?"

"Mark…Steve…Rae." Alex could not get his breath. But he knew that he had to get somebody to see Steve.

Mark moved into the doorway and saw his son being moved away from the unconscious body of a priest. "Steve. My, God what happened?" Mark turned towards the nurse's station. "Get a gurney in here STAT."

As Mark was finally able to get into the room his eye was caught by a movement behind the door. He turned and was horrified to see Rae, as far behind the door as she could possibly get, she was shaking and had her hands up covering her face. "Alex!" Marks voice was insistent, he needed him now.

The young doctor was just beginning to catch his breath, he heard Mark call his name and he staggered slightly and went into the room. He saw the elder doctor indicate behind the door and, holding on to the frame for support, Alex looked down to see why Mark had called him so urgently. He got down on the floor and sitting next to Rae, Alex began to speak very quietly but he hoped, with some authority.

"Rae, Honey, it's Alex. Can you hear me?"  There was no response. It seemed to him that she wasn't even aware that he was there. He slowly put his hand on her shoulder. "Rae, look at me." Still Rae didn't respond to him. He stood up and then crouched down. Placing his arm round her back he lifted her to her feet and guided her back to the bed. She got quietly in and let herself be covered up. He moved her hands from her face and then Alex sat on the side of the bed and looked at her. She was lying just as he had put her. He had a feeling that if he took her arms and moved them they would stay that way until he moved them again. He shook his head. Whatever had happened in this room had resulted in them losing her again, and this time getting her back would be even harder than before.

Mark watched as his son was gently lifted onto the gurney and steered out of the room towards the OR. The female priest was lying unconscious on the floor, and it was apparent that as Steve fell against her she had hit her head, hard. Officer Neville handed her cuffs over to one of the security guards and then sat down on the chair just outside the room. 

"Hold on, Rae, I'll be back in a moment." Alex moved outside and crouched down beside the officer. "I think that you should go down to the ER to be checked. I'll get security to post a guard here, and a nurse to take you down." He stood up again and beckoned one over from the reception desk. "Could you get a wheelchair and take Officer Neville down to be checked over?"

"Yes, Doctor." 

Alex returned to Rae's room, but before he moved over to her once again, he checked on Jesse. He didn't appear to have been disturbed at all by what had happened, and was lying just as he had been when Alex had been talking to Rae a couple of hours before. With a sigh of disappointment Alex turned back towards Rae. She hadn't moved either, and with a heavy heart he began to check her vital signs and those of her baby.

 "Rae? Can you hear me, Rae?" Alex was very concerned about his patient. He could see that she was awake, but she wasn't responding to him. He put his hand on the side of her face and gently turned her towards him.

"Rae, look at me."

Slowly Rae's face registered the fact that someone was talking to her, but still she said nothing, and sat in the bed completely unresponsive to his ministrations, as Alex began to check her over. As he ran his hands over her shoulders to make sure that she hadn't damaged them a finger brushed her neck.

"NO! Don't touch me!" Suddenly Rae was all action. She pushed out with both hands, catching Alex unawares and knocking him over once again. She clambered out of bed and rushed towards the door. Alex pulled himself to his feet and after pressing the buzzer he headed after her.

Rae looked wildly round, she didn't know where to go, but she knew that she had to get away. She saw the elevator doors open ahead of her, and ran towards it.

Amanda came quietly onto Rae's floor only to see her friend coming towards her. "Rae? Rae. Stop." Amanda quickly placed herself directly in front of Rae, hoping that she would stop before she got to her. 

Rae just saw a figure in front of her, and tried to dart round it. She managed to avoid the hands stretching out towards her; she knew that they would just try to take her back. She saw the doors begin to close and tried to get there first, but they slid silently shut leaving her just in front of them. She sank to the ground, and bringing her knees up to protect her child and her arms over her head so nobody could kick her face she waited for the attack she knew would come.

Amanda saw Alex coming down the hallway after Rae and waited for him before she approached her friend. What they saw made them both stop in their tracks, and then slowly, speaking quietly all the time Amanda moved closer to her friend.

"Rae, it's Amanda, can you hear me?" She placed a hand on Rae's shoulder but quickly moved it when she felt her jump.

"Don't touch her neck, whatever you do." Alex spoke into Amanda's ear. He couldn't believe how stupid he had been. He knew about Rae's fears and reactions when anything came near her throat, and he had gone and touched her there when she was at her most vulnerable.

Amanda knelt down and began to speak again. "Rae, we need to get you back into bed."

"No, Husband, please." Rae's voice was only just discernable, but they both knew what she had said.

"He's gone, Rae, you are at Community General Hospital. There is just Alex and me, and we aren't going to hurt you, we just want to help you."  

Very, very slowly Rae moved one of her hands and looked up into the eyes of her friend. "Amanda?" 

She held her hand out and Rae took it. She allowed herself to be raised to her feet and then after looking very closely at Alex she let him take her other hand, and together they walked her back to her room. 

A nurse had hurried up towards them in response to the buzzer Alex had pressed, but now he sent her back. They hadn't had to leave Jesse unattended and they were heading back into their room.

Rae climbed back into bed without another word and she lay back and waited. Then finally, as if she was waiting for a knife to fall on her she looked round. "Please, Husband, don't tie me up tonight, let me sleep."

"Rae, Honey, it's Alex. Nobody is gonna tie you up ever again. But I do need to check to see if your baby is all right. Will you let me do that?"

"My baby. No. Don't tell him, he'll kill it." The words were urgent, and spoken quickly, but there was no expression in them.

"Nobody is going to hurt your baby, Rae, but we have to just check to see how it is. Will you let Alex do that?" Amanda moved a little closer as she spoke and gently and carefully touched her hand. Once again Rae looked up at her, and this time she nodded.

Alex got his stethoscope out and began to examine her. Rae lay there and didn't move for the whole time he worked. He tried not to take any notice of the cuts and bruises covering her body, but they effected him every time he saw them. She had been systematically beaten, and he knew that her behaviour now was just the beginning of a difficult time for all of them.

"Ok, Rae, that's fine, I am just going to listen to your baby now." Alex listened again, and breathed a sigh of relief as it became apparent that the baby was quite happy just where he or she was.

Rae was just laying there, her eyes expressionless, as Amanda neatened up her nightwear, and made the bed round her then she sat down in the seat and watched her intently. She placed her hand over her friends and hoped for a reaction. There was none.

"I can sit with her for a while, Alex, but what happened?" Amanda looked confused.

"Let's just stand outside the door for a minute. We'll still be able to see both Rae and Jesse." They moved out towards the hallway, and Alex turned to the guard on duty. "Could you give us a minute please?" The guard just nodded his head and moved back out of earshot, but not out of sight. "Ok, from what I can gather, Levington's mother got into the hospital. She was the priest who married Rae and her son. She got up to Rae and Jesse's room, and she had a gun. The police guard was attacked, and somehow, I have no idea how, Steve knew there was trouble up here and he came in behind her. She shot him, but he fell on her knocking her out, and somebody, I think it was Rae slammed the door into me, and then the security guards arrived and Mark. That is what happened."

Amanda's face had been looking more horrified the longer Alex had been talking. "What happened to Steve?" They walked back into the room as they spoke.

"He's in the OR. I'll go down and find out how it's going in a minute. But it looked to me as if the bullet went straight through him." Alex looked round as he spoke and turning his face upwards saw a bullet hole in the wall. "I think I had better get onto Cheryl first." He had no need to do anything further; as he finished speaking he could see the detective outside in the hallway. She moved over and tapped gently on the door.

"Alex, can I come in?" Cheryl couldn't ever remember having to ask to enter a crime scene in this way, but first and foremost this was a hospital suite, and she knew that both Rae and Jesse were suffering from medical and emotional problems right now, and needed the special care they were receiving in this room. She also knew that there was no way that Jesse could be moved even if she had wanted him to be. 

"Yeah, I was just gonna call you. I think you probably need that." Alex pointed up to the mark in the wall, and was relieved when he saw Cheryl smile.

"Oh, yes, that is just what I wanted. Thank you, Alex." Cheryl pulled a chair over and getting her pocketknife out began to gently dig the bullet out, and into a plastic bag. Once she had achieved her objective, she jumped to the floor and her eyes scanned the room. She hadn't seen Jesse since the day after he had tried to commit suicide, and she was saddened to see that there didn't appear to be any change in his condition. She turned to her friend lying in the other bed. Rae looked as if she was awake so she moved over to her.

"Hey, Rae, how are you?" Cheryl looked round at the two doctors standing next to her. "She doesn't respond, but her eyes are open."

Alex smiled a sad smile. "I know. She's suffering at the moment. I think that it's Acute Stress Disorder, but it maybe worse than that, it will depend on how long it lasts."

Rae could hear voices, but she just didn't want to join in with the conversation. She wasn't sure what had happened to her, but she knew that it was bad, and that if she thought too much it would come back and scare her. She would just wait here for Jesse, when he came everything would be fine again.

_There had been an awareness of muffled noises for a while, but they seemed to have no shape or form. Sometimes they had been very close and accompanied by pressure, or by the sensations of touch, other times they had been far away and were just impressions to be heard before they disappeared. Then everything had gotten very_ _loud, urgent and frightening, and the reaction had been to retreat back into the darkness that had been a constant companion for so long._

Mark walked wearily into recovery. Doctor Collins turned and smiled at him. "You have a very lucky son, Doctor Sloan."

"Mark, please."

"Wil."

"He was shot, again, how does that make him lucky?" Mark looked at the doctor with an expression of exasperation.

"The bullet missed everything that it was supposed to miss, it went from front to back without touching anything. He will be up and about in no time. Sore, but whole again. He is about to be moved to a room if you would like to go up with him."

"Thank you, Wil. Do you think he could be put as close as possible to Rae and Jesse?"

"Mark, how is Rae? I know she is back in here again, but not being her doctor any more I don't know how she is doing."

Mark had forgotten for a moment that it had been Wil Collins who had been her doctor when Levington had attacked her the last time. "She was doing ok, before this happened, I don't know how she is right at this moment."

"And Jesse?"

"No change, I'm afraid." Mark's face grew grave.

"I might go past their room later, if Doctor Martin won't mind."

"Of course he won't. He isn't gonna bite your head off, he's a great guy."

"Yeah. Anyway I'll give you Steve's room number." Wil moved over and checked the information on the computer screen just inside the door. He found Rae and Jesse's number and allocated Steve the room just across the hallway. "Ok, Rae and Jesse are in 2998 and Steve is in 2997."

"Thanks, Wil. That will make visiting a little easier."

_Now was a quiet and peaceful time once again. There was no touch, no sound, just the knowledge that there were others around somewhere close but not close enough.  The light that had been an enemy for an indeterminate period of time now became an ally and something to be aimed for. Muscles began to work, and, as an awareness of there being more to existence that what had been experienced became certain knowledge, there was an overwhelming desire to see what was happening._

Jo had only been at home for just over an hour when the phone rang. She heard Michael take the call, and then he knocked and without waiting came into her bedroom. 

"Michael, who was that?" She knew something was wrong because he had walked straight in. She looked at him and felt her heart begin to pound. "Michael, who was that?"

Her friend and manservant had a worried expression. "That was Doctor Sloan, Madam, the Lieutenant was shot a little while ago, and he wondered whether you would go back over to sit with him. I can drive you."

Jo was too worried to ask Michael to leave, so she grabbed a clean pair of jeans from her closet and pulled them on, then picking up a pink sweater from the end of her bed, she slipped it over her head and turned. "Ok, I am ready, let's go."

The journey to the hospital was a silent, tense affair. Jo wasn't sure if she could handle much more of this pressure. Now Steve was back in the hospital again, and Rae and Jesse were there too. She ran her fingers through her long hair, thinking about her friends, and her lover as she did so.

Mark was sitting with Steve as Jo rushed in through the door. "Mark, Mark, how is he?"

"Shhh, Honey, he's fine. He is beginning to come out of the anaesthetic, but he is gonna be real sore, and it will take time to heal, but there was no major damage done."

"You're sure, Mark, about no damage being done?"

"I wouldn't tell you something that wasn't true, he will be fine. In fact his hands are gonna take longer to heal than his shoulder."

Jo relaxed then and raised her eyes to the heavens. "Oh, great. So I get another month or more with Mr. Grouchy Gloves, an' he has a sore shoulder as well?" Mark burst out laughing, but Jo just continued talking.  "I should have stayed in Texas."

"No, you have to stay here." The voice was very sleepy and heavy, but there was no mistaking it. 

Mark and Jo both turned towards the figure in the bed and smiled at him. Steve gave a lopsided smile back and then his eyes shut and he went back to sleep.

_It was a very strange sensation. Being unable to do anything, but aware of the others and knowing that they were living at a different level. The brain had begun to send messages to muscles that hadn't been used for a while, first of all nothing happened. The brain tried again, and tiny movements began to occur_

Beatrice Levington had been checked over in the OR and released into the custody of Cheryl. She had taken her back to the precinct and now they were facing each other over the interrogation table. Theodora Murray was there once again, and Cheryl had read the woman her rights, Martin had started the taping equipment, and the interview was about to begin.

"Could you please give me your name for the record?" Cheryl looked at the woman in front of her. She had no idea why she had done as she had except that she was as much of a kook as her son. _Well, in a minute you will find out won't you. Just be patient._

"My name is the Reverend Beatrice Evelynne Levington, but my friends call me Bel."

"Ok. And do you understand the charges which have been made against you?"

"No, Ma'am, I was just doing the Lord's work."

_Oh, for goodness sake! Give me strength._ Cheryl had a feeling that this interview was going to be extremely taxing. "You have been charged with attempted murder and grievous bodily harm. Do you understand that?"

"Yes, I do."

"Mrs Levington …"

"Please call me Reverend."

Cheryl took a deep breath; counted to ten,_ what is it with this family? _ and tried again. "Reverend Levington, why did you shoot Lieutenant Sloan at Community General today?"

"I didn't mean to. It was an accident." The woman didn't look remorseful, but maybe she was.

"How do you mean it was an accident?"

"I meant to shoot that tramp instead, but he came in just at the wrong moment, and she got away."

"Who did you mean to shoot, Ma'am?"

"What was her name?" Cheryl knew that the woman in front of her knew exactly who she was talking about. "Oh, yes. Reagan. I meant to shoot Reagan."

"I don't think you should say anything more, Mrs… Reverend Levington." Ms Murray was on her feet as she spoke. 

Beatrice looked at her. "Oh, ok." She turned back to Cheryl. "I don't want to say anything else."

Cheryl completed the interrogation and watched as Levington's mother was escorted back to the cells. 

Martin, who hadn't uttered a word the whole time they had been in the room, shook his head. "Well, if we ever wondered where he got it from now we know. It was definitely in the genes. That woman is a complete nutcase."

"Never, underestimate the power of a mother's love for her child." Cheryl picked up all her things from the table and then they both walked back up to the squad room.

_Slowly and without fear the actions began to expand. What had been tiny movements not noticeable by anyone now became a little stronger, a little braver, a little more ready to return to the real world. But maybe not yet, maybe this would remain a secret for a while longer._

 Alex had sat with Amanda and Rae for just over thirty minutes. He was very concerned about her, and although he was certain of his diagnosis he felt that he needed to observe her closely for a while. In the end though, it became apparent that she wasn't going to respond to either of them, and he knew he really needed to go and see Steve. He stood up, stretched and then turned to the two women in front of him.

"I am gonna go check on Steve, who is just across the hallway." Mark had put his head round the door on his way up to Steve's room, and they had been relieved to know that he wasn't seriously hurt. "Then I guess I had better go and check on the rest of the hospital, you know I am sure I had some other patients somewhere around!"

_The noises in the background began to come closer. Sounds, voices, names, all were understandable for the first time. It was a struggle to move towards the light, but now it was the right thing to do, that was where the journey was supposed to end. Once again thoughts were processed and this time, as they became clear so did the reason for this struggle back to the waking world. The movements became firm and strong, and banishing the fear back to the darkness, where it belonged, eyes opened and the world came back into view._

He moved across the room, glancing at Jesse as he did so. As he got to the door he realised that he hadn't actually taken in what he had seen and turned back towards his friend. Jesse's eyes were open!

"Jesse, Buddy, can you hear me?"

Amanda shot out of her chair and moved across the room. She stood just behind Alex and watched as he took Jesse's hand in his. "Amanda, could you go get Mark? Jo is with Steve, so I am sure he will come."

"Jesse, it's Alex."

Jesse slowly blinked his eyes. They felt very dry, as did his mouth. He tried to lick his lips but he couldn't. Something was in his way, and every part of him hurt. He shut his eyes again. When he had been in his misty world nothing had mattered, nothing had hurt, nobody had asked him questions. For a moment he wished himself back there, but he knew that this was where he really belonged, and so he forced his eyes open once again, and grasped the hand that was holding his.

Mark came rushing into the room, his eyes already filled with tears. He looked down at the man that he considered a second son, and saw him looking back up at him. "Jess? Do you know who I am?"

Jesse tried to nod his head. It didn't want to move, and fear flickered across his face. 

"Jesse, don't try to move, you have to stay completely still, remember? You have a neck and back brace on which is restricting your movements, plus you are on a ventilator.  Mark gently brushed the hair back from Jesse's brow as he spoke.

Jesse just looked up; he was having trouble understanding everything that was happening to him, and why he was lying here. Then slowly one thought came into his mind. _Rae_. His face must have registered his thought because Alex leant over so that he could make eye contact with him.

"Shhh, it's all right. I know you can't see her, but she is in the bed just across from you. It will take some time, but she will be all right." This time it was Alex who tried to reassure him.

Jesse shut his eyes. He really couldn't take any more in. His thoughts began to swim and he tried to get back to where he had been before. But he knew that this was where his life was now, he could sleep but he would be here now, with Rae forever.

The three doctors watched as Jesse closed his eyes and his body relaxed back into sleep. This time though there was a difference, his mind and his body were one again, and in the same way that Jesse had himself felt when Rae came round from her coma, they all got reassurance from the fact that if they needed to they could wake him up again right now.

Alex moved back over to where Rae was lying hoping against hope that the sound of Jesse's name, and the fact that Amanda and he had been talking to him would have registered with her, but it was immediately apparent that it hadn't. "Rae, it's Alex, can you hear me? Rae, Jesse is awake. He'll be all right." This time there was no reaction; Rae just lay there lost in whatever nightmare was keeping her from them.  Suddenly Alex didn't want to go see Steve, or Jo or anybody else, he just wanted to sit here and keep his hand over hers and try to draw her back to them.


	21. Chapter 21 The Road To Recovery

The Road To Recovery 

It was four days before Mark decided that Jesse was strong enough to be prepped for his operation. He had spent most of the time asleep, because Mark had kept him sedated, knowing that if he was actually able to communicate with people he would move, however slightly and that could be disastrous.

Mark and Alex had told him some of what had happened to Rae, and whenever they woke him for meals or neurological testing they would let him know that she was in the room, and that the baby was fine. She wouldn't come over to see him, and so they said that she was having a few problems coping, but that once the operation had taken place he would be able to be moved next to her so he could at least feel her hand against his own.

Rae hadn't said anything since she had begged Alex and Amanda not to let 'him' know about her baby. She had had someone with her at all times day and night, and she had either been fast asleep or just lying there eyes open ever since. She drank if a drink was put in front of her, and picked at food at mealtimes but she did nothing else. 

The baby seemed quite happy where it was, but Alex was worried about it not getting enough nutrients and had begun to make sure that Rae was drinking fortified liquids, and meal replacement shakes as well as whatever food she managed to eat in an effort to keep everything as normal as possible for the child until Rae began to show an interest in life again.

Brian Dobson had been up every day to see Rae, and had sat talking to her, trying to get some of the feelings to the surface so that they could be dealt with. He hadn't been hopeful of any success and so far there had been no improvement at all.

Steve had made a very good recovery from the surgery and was about to make his first trip across the hallway. He had been kept in bed because Wil Collins hadn't wanted him to move his arm at all to start with. He had explained how lucky he had been, and that he didn't want him to strain any of the muscles by moving too soon. Although it had been grudging, Steve had seen the logic behind what he was saying and so he had stayed put, but now, at last, he had been told that if he kept his shoulder still he could go and see his friends.

Jesse was lying looking up at the ceiling. He had been awake for a while. He knew that he was due to go for his operation in about five minutes and for the first time since he had woken up he was aware of strong identifiable feelings within himself. He was scared.

Steve let Jo push him right up beside Jesse's bedside, he stood up and put one of his large clumsy hands over that of his best friend. "Hey, it's good to have you back."

"Thanks." Jesse couldn't continue. "When he spoke he needed to look at the person, and this was Steve, he knew he just couldn't say anything else, and every time he swallowed he could still feel that awful tube.

The room was silent for several moments before Steve realised that Jesse wasn't going to say anything more, maybe it hurt him to talk. "I guess you don't feel like talking right now, but that doesn't matter. Once you get back from the OR we can talk all you want. But now, you just let the doctors do their stuff, and I'll see you soon… Jess?" Steve was tall enough; now he was standing that Jesse could see him easily. Tears had formed in his eyes, and they began to roll down his face, Steve's heart ached because he couldn't reach over and brush them away for him.

The door opened again and two orderlies came into the room. Steve turned. "Just give us a minute, guys, ok?"

"Yes, Sir." Both men recognised the tall detective, and so they moved back out into the hallway.

"Jess, I know you're scared, I would be too, but soon you'll be back up here, where your family is waiting for you. Rae and the baby and me. Whatever happens, Jesse, we will all be here for you. You know that don't you?"

Jesse just closed his eyes, and two more tears slid down his face. "Yeah." 

This time Steve had to do it. He moved a large plaster covered hand and caught a tear with one of the immobile fingers, and then his hand reached out and took the other one too. He looked over towards Jo and without a word she understood what he wanted her to do. She moved towards Rae and began to speak.

"Rae, it's Texas. Jesse has to go for his operation now, an' he is real scared. Do you want to go an' see him before he goes down?" They had asked her every day if she wanted to move across the room and there had been no positive response, in fact some times she had visibly shrunk back inside herself as if she was afraid to see him, but this time the reaction was immediate.

Rae turned her head towards her friend and nodded just the once. Jo took her hand and helped her out of the bed. She walked painfully across the room, every step reminding her of what that man had done to her, and looked down at the face that she loved so much and a small smile appeared. "I love you, Jesse." The words were quiet but strong and then she leant over him and kissed him gently on the cheek.

Steve turned towards Jo again as he began to speak, his voice choked with emotion.  "Honey, they can come back in now." Steve remained standing with his uninjured arm around Rae, so they were still visible to his friend as the bed was wheeled out. 

Steve moved Rae back towards her own bed and helped her into it. He sat in the chair and looked into her eyes. They were dull and down turned. "Rae, Honey, will you look at me, please?" There was a very small response as she just slightly nodded her head and then turned to look at him. Steve smiled. "I'm gonna stay here with you while Jesse is in the OR. Jo is gonna go and keep Alex and Amanda company, so it will be just you and me. Think you can handle that?" This time there was no response and Steve sighed and shifted position a little. "When you are ready to talk, I will be right here. Until then, we will just sit together, nothing needs to be said or done, you know that."

The room had been quiet for just over a half an hour when Rae realised that she needed to talk, had needed to talk all along, but had been waiting for Steve. She looked at him, her eyes filling with tears as she did so, and found that after all her days of silence now she just couldn't get the words out.

Steve was acutely aware of every one of Rae's movements. He knew just from watching her over the last thirty minutes that she was in pain for most of the time, and he had seen for himself that walking was agony for her. 

Rae remembered how it had been Steve who had been there for her last time, when she'd had to get away from Brian, because she had things she had to tell a friend before she could speak to anybody else, and using the same words again she turned to her friend and partner. "Oh, God, Steve, help me." And finally the tears began to flow, but this time they were for her, and ignoring his own pain Steve opened his arms and felt her as she collapsed onto his chest.

As she lay in his arms Rae felt some of her burden lift. Steve wouldn't expect her to explain her feelings, he would wait for her to speak and then he would help her the best he could. She didn't know if she could tell him everything, but she did know that she would try. 

Mark waited in the OR for Jesse to be wheeled in. He looked up and could see Amanda and Alex in the observation area, they both looked extremely worried, and he had to admit he was too. He turned as he heard a voice behind him and Wil Collins was standing there.

"He's just coming through. Mark, are you ok with this? I know he is a real close friend." 

"Yeah, I have to be the one to do this for him." Mark managed to repress the shudder that threatened him. Soon they would find out if Jesse had done any permanent damage to his spine. The tests they had run on him since he had regained consciousness had been limited, and although some of them had been encouraging, an equal amount hadn't been as good. Now they would find out just how much damage had been done. The gurney was wheeled in and Mark was relieved to see that Jesse was already lying face down. He knew that if he had been in the room when they turned him he would have wanted to help, and he also knew that he wouldn't have been able to.

Taking a deep breath, Mark began to speak. "Ok, people let's begin. We have a bullet lodged in the patient's back between his left clavicle and his spinal column. This bullet has been in position for ten days. The reason for the hold-up was initially the amount of swelling around the bullet and its close location to the spinal cord. However, other medical complications followed which have resulted in a further delay. Now we need to get this out so that we can assess the damage and begin the recovery process." Mark put his hand out for the scalpel and his hand moved over the bare skin around an angry wound on Jesse's back.

Alex looked over at Amanda in the observation room and his hand found hers. She gave it a squeeze, but he wasn't sure if it was to reassure him or herself. "He will be fine, won't he?" His voice was quiet and a little shaky.

"Yes, he has to be, Alex, he just has to be." Amanda's eyes hadn't left the view below her as she spoke. She was so glad that it was Mark who was doing the operation. She knew that Jesse's chances of a normal life were increased greatly just by the man being in the room, and the fact that he was undertaking the surgery himself made her feel, for the first time in a long time, optimistic for Jesse's future.

The door opened and they both turned slightly as Jo came in the room. "Alex, Steve is with Rae, but I thought you should know that she spoke to Jesse before he came down here." Jo was rewarded for her news by two big smiles.

"Thanks, Jo. Maybe I should go and see her."

Jo put her hand on his arm. "Let her spend some time with Steve. I don't know why but I get the feelin' that she has been waitin' for him."

They turned back towards the windows, and could see Mark was working on Jesse, but also that he was deep in conversation with Doctor Collins.

"Mark, I haven't had time to get up to see Rae, how is she?"

"Physically she had been very badly treated, he had obviously been beating her, probably with a belt, as well as his fists. Maybe other things too. She had some marks on her hips and thighs that neither Alex nor I can identify with certainty, but I would hazard a guess that she was pushed into a solid object like a door, or doorframe."

"Can't she tell you herself?"

"No, she has almost completely shut down, mentally. I know Alex is very concerned about her, and so am I. I think a lot more happened than we know about yet, and we may never know it all, but she needs to talk, otherwise, I fear for her sanity."

"And he did this to Jesse didn't he?" Wil looked shocked. He knew and liked the female detective, and had been sad to lose her as a patient, but she had come to see him specially to explain to him why she wanted to register with Alex Martin, he had been flattered that she had taken the time to do that and he had remained friends with her.

"Yeah. You know, nobody told them that the guy was even free; otherwise they would have taken all sorts of precautions. He took Rae and left Jesse for dead. The only way we could find her was to make him think that he actually succeeded in his plan to kill him." Mark was working continually as he talked. He was amazed that speaking about such a stressful time wasn't effecting his ability to concentrate, but it seemed to be helping him, he hadn't had the luxury of being able to talk this through with anyone until now, and he knew he needed to.

"But Rae was like the rest of us. She wouldn't have known it was fake would she?" Wil caught on to the problems straight away.

"No, she didn't, and she is gonna suffer because of that, but we weighed it up and knew that we had to go with this plan because it was the only one we had, and we needed to get her back for obvious reasons, but maybe more than you actually know."

"I know what I have heard around the hospital, I don't spread gossip, Mark, but I would like to know what is true and what isn't. And you have to know, Rae and Jesse are the main topic of conversation round here right now."

"Ok, give me a minute." Mark was very close to the bullet now, and it needed his full concentration. For a short while the room was totally silent except for the beeping of the machines and ticking of the clock on the wall, then there was the unmistakable noise of the bullet being dropped into a metal bowl and the whole room seemed to breath a sigh of relief.

"What have you heard, Wil?"

"That she is pregnant, with Jesse's child." He looked down at the man on the table as he spoke.

"Yeah, that's true." Mark smiled to himself. If everything went ok they would have the chance to be the family they deserved to be.

"I also heard that she has something wrong with her throat, and Bevington used it to keep her."

"She was strangled a year or so ago and can't bear to be touched round the neck. Somehow he got that information, which was only known to Jesse, Steve, Alex and her psychiatrist, Brian Dobson, and he used it against her. Oh, and it isn't Bevington, it's Levington, Phil Levington."

The conversation was ended abruptly as a loud crash reverberated around the OR.

The young nurse at the end of the gurney bent down and picked up the tools that had fallen to the floor as she had knocked the tray over. Wil Collins looked over at her. "Nurse Willis, do you have a problem?"

"No, Doctor, sorry, Doctor, please may I be excused?" The nurse looked as if she was about to pass out and without waiting to hear the answer to her question she rushed from the OR and out into the hallway.

The nurse who had been dealing with removing the swabs and used instruments had stopped her work immediately and now moved over with a new tray.

"Thank you, nurse." Mark smiled kindly as he watched her put it within his reach. 

Amanda stood up and looked down at Mark. He seemed to realise that she was staring at him and he turned. She gestured towards the hallway behind her and shrugged and he nodded. Amanda turned and left the room, but the girl was nowhere to be seen. Knowing that she would have headed towards the locker room herself Amanda made her way there. She swung the door open and entered, but there was no noise coming from inside and she could tell instantly that the room was empty.

Not knowing where else to try, and needing to be in the OR for her own satisfaction, Amanda headed back. She would find the nurse later.

Louise Willis had headed straight for the roof as she left the OR. She often went up there when she needed some peace and quiet, but she had never needed it as much as now. Once she was in her own special place leaning up against one of the heating outlets the tears began to fall. How could she have been so stupid? 

She thought back to when Phil had been in the hospital before. He had been so nice to her and she had been happy to help him. Then the detective, the one whose father had been operating today had come and seen her, and had been furious with her. At first she couldn't understand what she had done wrong, but slowly she had heard what he had done to Doctor Travis and to the English cop. She had never liked Doctor Travis, he was too cocky and thought he was just so wonderful, and that English lady, she had been in and out of the hospital almost every day, like she owned the place. 

Louise smiled as she remembered the flowers that had arrived for her a week after Lieutenant Sloan had blasted her out. He was another one. They had this little club and nobody could enter unless you were granted permission. She had seen that Alex Martin was friends with them; she thought he was just gorgeous, but she knew he wouldn't ever look at her, not now he was with them. 

The flowers had graced her apartment for a week after they arrived. Beautiful gladioli and lilies that had looked so wonderfully tall and graceful in their vase. She had sent the letter two days later. It hadn't been hard to find out where to write to him, and once she had sent one letter they had begun to correspond regularly.

He hadn't mentioned the lady police officer for a while, and then in one letter he had wanted her to visit with him. He had said that she should say that she was a relative, that way she would be allowed in. She'd had a lovely time, the glass screen hadn't mattered, and by the time she came away she knew that he had been badly treated.

She had visited twice a week after that, and they had talked about all sorts of things. He had such a nice voice, and his eyes were kind.  Then a short while ago, something wonderful had happened. He had visited her, at her apartment. She'd had no idea he was up for parole, but he told her that he had kept it secret to surprise her.

Louise blushed, as she remembered what they had done. At the time it had been so beautiful, so romantic, but now, just for a moment she wondered if maybe he had been using her. Her hand went up to her face as she remembered how he had struck her.  After he had made love to her he had begun to talk about Rae, and how worried he was for her. Apparently just before he left jail he had heard a rumour that she was having severe psychological problems because of something that had happened long ago. He had wondered whether Louise could find out for him what they were. 

First of all she had said no. She couldn't go through files, she would lose her job. But he had hit her and gradually she felt herself weaken. He explained that he had gained so much through the counselling he had received in jail, and that maybe he could pass some information on through Louise to help her. So, in all innocence, she had gone to the offices of each counsellor in turn until she found Detective Yeager's file. Louise shook her head. It hadn't been in all innocence, and she hadn't thought him kind to want to help that woman. She was jealous. Jealous that somebody who looked so like her had everything she wanted while she was living in a one room studio apartment, with no boyfriend, no friends, no nothing.

The file had been very interesting, and very thick. That woman sure had problems. She had found the part about her throat very quickly, and she had photocopied it and sent it to the address he had given her. She hadn't heard from him again, but he was in jail again now, and she knew that he would need her again, soon.

The tears began to flow more strongly as she realised just how much damage she had done. She knew that doctor could be paralysed for life, and according to Doctor Sloan, his girlfriend would need her counsellor a lot in the future. But she was far more concerned about herself.  She could go to jail for what she had done. 

Slowly she got to her feet and moved over towards the stairway. Part of her just wanted to run towards the edge of the building and not stop, but she knew that wouldn't solve anybody's problems but her own. It may come to that in the end, but right now she had to find some way of starting some damage limitation. She liked being a nurse, and she had no intention of letting one little mistake harm her. 

Rae had cried until she had no tears left. Then she had just stayed where she was, gaining comfort and strength from her partner's arms and his presence in her life right now. Slowly she looked up and knew that she had to talk to him, had to say what she had been keeping in ever since that man's mother had tried to kill her. Because if she stayed silent now, she wasn't sure if she would ever speak again. She also knew that she had to tell him the worst first. That way it would get easier to carry on.

She took a deep breath, and began to talk. "He raped me, Steve, he tied me to a bed and he raped me. I don't know how many times. Sometimes I was awake when he tied me up, other times I would wake up and find myself there."

Steve went to speak but Rae placed her hand on his arm. "I have to say this, can you talk at the end?" Steve just nodded and she carried on. "When he came to the apartment, I was asleep. I didn't have a chance to fight back. I was so worried for my baby, and for Jesse. But nobody told us he was free, why didn't we know, Steve? After last time, they should have told us." Rae began to shake as she talked and Steve began to get concerned.

"Rae, Honey, it's ok. Lean into me, just for a minute." It must have helped because the shaking came under control very quickly. "I don't know why no one let you know he was out. I didn't know either, until Jesse said his name when we found him."

"Steve, I'm married to him." She looked down, and for the first time noticed that the ring wasn't there. She smiled at him. "It's gone."

"I know, I had Alex cut it off while you were unconscious."

"Thank you. His mother married us, and I saw the certificate, it looked legal to me, but I will be able to get a divorce won't I? I want to be married to Jesse, before the baby is born. Steve, that will happen won't it?"

"I have no idea what the legal standing is about this, but I would think you could just get it annulled. You weren't willingly marrying him, and I don't think anyone would ever believe him if he said you had done so."

Rae smiled and then it disappeared. "He hit me, Steve, he humiliated me, and… and … he enjoyed it. How could he do that? He would hit me so hard that I would fall over and then tell me he loved me. I don't understand how he could be like that." This time the shaking was more pronounced and Steve knew that he needed help. He placed his hand over the buzzer and waited. A nurse was soon at the door.

"Get Doctor Martin up here, nurse, now please." Steve looked back down at her. "Shhh, Honey, it's all right. Don't say any more. I'm sure Alex will give you something to help you sleep." It was obviously not the right thing to say, because Rae became more agitated.

"No! No, Steve, don't let him, please. I've had so much in my body since I got pregnant, I can't have any more."

"Ok. Take some deep breaths then, slowly, in and out, just like Dad showed you before."

By the time Alex had arrived in Rae's room she had begun to calm down. He moved over to her and taking her wrist in his hand began to take her pulse.

"Steve, what happened?"

"She's been telling me some of the things that happened to her, but it's a big step for her, and well, it took its toll in the end."

"Rae, I can give you something to make you sleep, but…" Alex stopped talking as he saw Rae begin to react to his words. "BUT." This time it was Rae who stopped. "But, I would rather not." He paused. "I have an idea. I will be right back." With that he left the room, and Rae and Steve were left to stare at the empty doorway.

Mark finished closing up Jesse's wound and then watched as he was wheeled away. He felt all his strength begin to leave him and was aware of Wil gently moving him until his back was finally resting against the wall. He took a deep breath and began to gather his senses.

"Mark, Mark, are you ok?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, it was just the relief that it was over."

"You did a magnificent job. But it's down to time now."

"I know. Come on, lets get out of here."

Steve stood up and moved towards the door as he heard it being pushed open. Jesse was unconscious on the bed, he looked very pale, and young. "Dad?"

"It went fine, Son. Now all we can do is wait. He will be kept immobile for a while, and then we'll see how much he can feel."

Mark looked over to where Rae was fast asleep in bed. He smiled. She looked much more peaceful. He wondered whether it had anything to do with the stuffed dog she was cuddling.

"How is she?"

"Better, Dad, a bit better I think. She talked to me, not a lot, but enough to get her started. But she got very agitated, and couldn't stop shaking. She won't let Alex give her anything to help her sleep, so he went and got the dog from the hospital shop, which probably means it cost him a week's salary." Mark smiled, the shop was very expensive. "Apparently it has lavender in it and it can be heated up. So Rae is sleeping with a hot dog."

They smiled at each other then, father and son, as they looked at two of the most important people in their lives, both of them fast asleep, and hopefully starting on the long road to recovery.

The End 

Thank you for all your wonderful reviews, they mean so much, and keep me writing. I also need to thank my two beta readers once again. Guys, J and S, you know who you are, and I hope, how much fun you make this writing thing that we all do.

I am half way through the next story; I hope you will stick with me.

Tracy


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